ZackDaniel - Archived Blog Posts

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Bitches!!!

Time for another installment of my ranting and raving. Getting ready for the Mardi Gras holiday coming soon. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, do a Google search on Mardi Gras and see what it's all about. I haven't decided on what day I intend to go yet, but I want to go and have fun.

On a more personal level, I've been somewhat emotionally drained this past few weeks. Those of you I've talked to on the phone are aware of what I'm talking about. But don't misunderstand me in that I may be a bit tired, but in a great way. Just to give you an idea...I have one friend who's really having a hard time of things and I've been counseling him. I have one friend who's a really sweet guy...hot as hell...and the boys are all over him(ok, this one don't count..lol). One friend is going through a job change that could affect his entire future and one friend...actually two...one in real time and one online who I feel have grown distant of me. The last two perplexes me for a reason....I don't know how to describe it other than to say that their expectations of me are on one level and I can only imagine that in their opinion, they feel I've either missed the ball, or demanding unrealistic things from them. Having said that, I've decided that I can't please everyone and damn me for trying.

I can't spend too much time exerting good energy out for bad. What you see in me is what you get. I have feelings for all my friends in that I genuinely care about them. I choose to live in the positive and I can only be effective as a friend as the friend is effective towards me. Hiding and lurking behind IM's, firewalls, and voice mail is something that I don't place much stock into anymore. It was once said by someone that..and I'm paraphrasing here...".When I was once a child, I played with childish things." by this....well, my days in the sandbox are over. Time for growing...and growing up is the way to go. As I said earlier, I cherish ALL my friendships. I will always be there for you regardless to your stance towards me...and one day, I hope, those affected will come to know this.

Have a wonderful week and feel free to post your thoughts here or you can email me...Eskimo kisses......Bye!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey There!!

Taking a few minutes to update you on my thoughts. I had almost forgotten this week was Friendship Week until I got an email. I won't bore you with a long story but I will say this: This week is about those close to you..those who have been in your corner and you tend to call on when you need support. Friends can keep you grounded...focused if you will. We tend to get caught up in normal day to day things and forget about those near and dear. We also tend to let little issues fester into bigger ones and out of a hurting ego, we back off. It's at these times that we should stay closer. Our friends are who makes us the person we are to others. I realize that this world moves so fast around us and it's easy to get caught up and put aside things and/or people we used to rely on to focus on other things. I'm not pointing the finger at any one particular person..this applies to myself as well. However if you know me like you think you do, you know that I speak from the hip and will continue to do so. I'm not looking to hurt any feelings, but to merely point out that you are a valued asset in the lives of those around you. Friendships are rare and are to be treasured. I like to present this challenge: one day soon, pick up the phone, or email a friend..even if it's just to say hello. You will be surprise to find out how valued you are. Take care and be safe.....bye!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Guys!!

Just wanted to take a minute to say I hope you have a great Easter. There are a few things you need to keep in mind:

1)Make sure the candy you're eating is really chocolate..and that it's wrapped.

2)Jelly beans are for eating...they're not to be turned into anal beads.

3)"Hippity Hoppity" can be done by riding a hot guy as well as playing leap frog.

4)Make sure your "basket" can hold lots of "goodies"

5)Make sure the 'grass' is neat and trimmed..wouldn't want the bunny to get any in his teeth

6)If you see Peter's cottontail.....hump it!

7)Pastels are OUR contribution to the world of fashion.

8)A man dressed as a bunny is asking for a humping.

9)Beware of boys telling you to pick out something from his basket.....in the way of candy, you want the "LongBoy", not the "Midget Size"

...and last but not least...

10)Repeat to yourself..."My bunny trail needs to be hopped. My bunny trail needs to be hopped....."

Thanks to each of you who responded to my last entry. I take whatever you respond with as feedback. I value each one of your comments--the good ones and the bad one--as something to learn from. This is my space to open up to you...to learn from you. Keep being the friends you are.

Later Bitches!!!!........Z

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Bitches!!!

Good to have some time to put more musings down for you. Things are going very well...in certain areas of my life. I've had to wrestle with a few issues of late that either has been long overdue or much in need of discussion. If I get them taken care of, my life will be a whole lot easier to deal with. This blog will be divided into two points Good days and Good nights.

Good days....is meant to say I"m having a good time at the moment. As most of you know I started a new job back in December 05 and it has turned out to be a good career move. The money is great and many other benefits are turning in my favor. I've gotten close to a few people and we've made friends, which is what it's about anyway. It can only get better.

Good nights...is meant to say that I've been saddened lately. I'm toying with a few friendships that have meant so much to me and it's kinda hard to imagine not having them. One of my dearest friends is moving out of state next week and it's not going to be the same without him. He's brought so much to my life and I will miss him. Of course we will remain friends as always, but it will be hard to connect at times. But we will make it work. Another friend and I will meet shortly to discuss how our friendship will flourish..if it will. Wish me luck on this one. Most of you know how I can be when I'm being confronted with inaccuracies. Just wish me well.

Oh Yeah, congratulations to my friend Shad on his new job. I ran into him last week while I was teaching class. Good luck dude....we'll talk soon.

Gotta run...feel free to post...later!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hi There!!

Sorry for the long time between post. I've been very busy in many areas. Work is going well and it kinda looks like I may have an admirer or sorts...and I stress kinda. As some of you know I met a guy in my aerobics class. He's very attractive and we've talked a bit and I've actually been to his place to chat. No sex has happened between us. He's a nice looking black(gasp!) man, 33years old, 5'10" 185 lbs. black curly hair and a body to die for. One afternoon, he gave me his phone number and wanted me to call him. I did and we had dinner one afternoon. He told me he was attracted to me and wanted to see how it would progress. I was surprised. Sounds good right? Well, there's a problem.

Most of you know I've had a few bad relationships with black men. They've left me with feelings that to this day it's hard for me to get past. They were about the other person being satisfying them instead of sharing the burden. Didn't take me long to lose the first one and when the second one came along, I overlooked the lesson from before. He turned out to be a first class jerk. Since that last black man, I've topped exclusively. I hate to admit this, but I find I have nothing in common with black men. I'm not attracted to any...except for this guy. What stresses me is that he "flip-flop" from saying he wants us to see how things go then in the same breath show signs he's not sure what he wants. I've told him from the beginning that if it didn't work out, then we'd still be friends. Indecisiveness isn't my strong suite. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It's left me more confused about his true intentions. So for now, I think it's best I keep clear and let him come to me when he's ready. Life goes on. I know I'll get feedback from this blog and I welcome it. Be honest and be yourself.

I'll keep you posted.....bye!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Guys!!

Been some time since I've sat down to write. I've been extremely busy these last few months, which is no excuse but it's all I have. What have I been up to?..It would take entirely too much time to cover everything but let me try and bring you up to speed a bit. Since my last entry, the guy in my class is no more. Hard to start a relationship or friendship if only one person is doing the work. I wish him well. The only good part about that period is that I've somewhat softened my stance in regards to black men....and I'll leave it at that. I have an issue with a guy(black guy) at my health club that will resolve itself soon. To a degree I consider myself a private person so when this bitch outed me in the lockerroom all because I "tapped" him on the ass as I was leaving one night, he felt driven to tell anyone who could hear about me. Most of you know what I do for a living and let's say I'm waiting for just the right time. All I can say is...I hope he hasn't paid his membership dues for 2007 in advance. I'll let you know how that turns out.

I've been keeping a secret for some time now...since February actually. I did it out of respect. I've been seeing an awesome guy and it's very strange how we wound up together. Several months later, he accepted a job out of state..so yes, we're trying the long distance thing. So far, it's going ok..we try and arrange some time to see each other in person..last time being in October. We met in Pensacola and had a wonderful time. I have pictures if you care to see them..just email me. I admit I got a bit adventerous and did a strip on the beach..and as luck would have it, he had a camera ready. It felt very liberating. We're planning to go back for Gay Days in May. Except for this entry, I've only mentioned him to my dear friend Shad. He's an exceptional guy...and good looking.....OK, HE'S HOT!!! (he's probably laughing his ass off right about now..)So to him I say, "Shad, thanks for being there! I'm here if you need me!"

Work has been keeping me real busy. I decided to treat myself to a new car for my birthday(September 1st). I'm now the owner of an H3....and I'm loving it. I'm toying with the idea of setting up a web page and displaying pictures for you guys to see who I'm talking about. What are your thoughts on that?..Let me know. In a few weeks, I'm going on vacation to Orlando. I'm hoping to see the b/f when I go...it depends on his schedule.

I'm also writing an advice column in a gay news letter. Some of you know about this already. So if you have any advice you want me to answer for you, email me at ask_me_dammit@yahoo.com and I will respond. Guess that's it for now. I'll try not to let it go so long between entries next time...take care.......

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hello to one and all!!

I hope you had a great Mardi Gras holiday. I had a wonderful time. I did manage to go to New Orleans to take part in the celebration. It was unbelievable. Thousands of gay and bisexual men walking the streets of the city dressed in costumes...some very simple to the very elaborate. Once I figure out how to shrink them, I'll post a few for you to see.

Personally, things are going very well. I made an attempt to reach an old friend and it was interesting to say the least. It was like time stood still. We connected by phone but I have to admit that as soon as the phone call ended, I didn't feel any different. I guess I felt maybe I had somehow made an effort to be outgoing but it appears as if it will just end in another time block that I don't hear from him. ..and I'm comfortable with that. What else have I been up to....oh yeah! A few weeks ago, I got a call from a friend who wanted me to take some pictures of him. I knew he wanted some time to think about it, which was fine. He called me and said that he wanted to set an appointment to have some shots done...strictly on an amateur level. Long and short of it, we talked about some semi and nude shots. It was an honor to take his pictures. I could tell that perhaps he may have been a bit nervous, but opened up to the idea and went with it. He was a very good model and the pictures came out well I thought. And seeing how well they came out, I decided to venture into it more by email or word of mouth, l let my friends know that...you guessed it...I've classified myself as a professional/amateur photographer. I've found it hard to find someone in the past to take pictures..nude pictures..and not worry about them being on the internet. Those who know me know my character so there's a built in trust there. So if you have a desire to be photographed in various stages of undress or otherwise, email me at pntzroff@hotmail.com. Put your name and "photo shoot" as the subject and I will respond. Currently I can only do local sessions...afterall, I am a amateur. I've toyed with having a portfolio of my work o prospective clients can see my work. I shoot in color and duplicate the pictures in black and white--my personal favorite.

Everything's good on the b/f front. We talked last night and have made plans to do Gay Days in Pensacola at the end of May. I've never been so it's going to be a blast. I've also been looking into buying a new house. Keep your fingers crossed on that one. Take care dahlings and feel free to post a response....bye!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hello to One and All!!

Hope all is well with each and every one of you. I got some good news and some not so good news.Good news: I just bought a new house! I'm so excited because I've been wanting something new for some time. It's abolutely perfect. Bad news: I wont be able to move into it until the 3rd week in April. But that's ok..it's mine. Things are looking good for Pensacola. I've prepared a few surprises for the b/f that I would love to tell you about, However I can't just yet because he reads the blogs too and I don't want to give anything away. Let's say he's gonna love the idea of "tossing salad" the entire trip. As some of you read in my last blog, I've developed a new interest in amateur male nude photography. I've had one offer since my first session and it went well. But I have to admit it is very hard to take pictures of naked guys and not get all hot and bothered..but afterall, I am a professional amateur so I have to look at it that way.

I will try to blog one more time before I have to move out of my existing home. I have to be out by April 8th so if I'm unable to blog before then, I'll have to do one when I get set up in the new house...so it may take a few weeks before you hear from me. I'll have some good things to report then for sure. One thing I like about the new house are the neighbors. I went to see the house last Saturday and there were many guys outside mowing their lawns....shirtless! Girl, let me tell ya.....some of them were on riding mowers. Do you know how it must feel to be riding something that pulsates under and between your legs?? And to have that same thing warm your ass in a special way?? I don't have a riding mower..but I'm considering asking the neighbors to cut my grass when it needs it..as long as I'm at home to enjoy the view!!!!

Well, gotta run..still got some packing to do. Leave me your comments or thoughts. I love hearing from you as always. Take care bitches!!!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey There!!!!!

I thought I'd take a break and blog before I have to store the computer. Things were a bit rough during the week with the new house. Some unexpected items had to be repaired before closing. So it looks like I'll be here a few more days, which is good because now I don't have to wait over 2 weeks to move into the new house. The b/f is doing well. I was concerned about his ear at one point but I'm glad to know he's fine. I tend to worry so much about others to the point that it makes me a bit crazy at times. But he knows it's only because I care and love him so much.

So I've had an offer or two to photograph some guys since I last blogged. They want erotc shots and are leaving it to my imagination as to the types of poses. I like this part....it's called "artistic freedom" from what I've been told. Tim, a friend of mine whom I haven't talked to in some time, sent me an ecard for Easter. That was nice of you to send it. Shad, I will get in touch with you over the weekend to update you on things. Take care guys and wish me luck with this move. I'll miss blogging you...but only for a few days or so. Bye!!!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Guys!!

Been some time since I've blogged...and that's because I've been really busy. So let me get you caught up. If you read the last entry, I recently bought a house. Much more room and lots to decorate(a challenge I know I can complete!). Things are going well at work. I now got an office to myself which suits me just fine. A few bitches at work to deal with but as some of you know me, they got put in their place. I so wish the "Straight World" would come to their senses and realize that we have the talents they only wished they had. Think about it...we're decorators, designers, stockbrokers, social workers, bankers...you get the point. Now don't misunderstand me, I love straight people...afterall like the old saying goes...we need them to make more of us!!..at least that's what my b/f says...LOL

Speaking of him, let me update you there also. A few weeks ago, my friend Shad(correction...and I'm sure he'd hate me for saying this--my BEST friend) and I made reservations to attend Gay Days in Pensacola late last year. He came over to see the house with his b/f Peter and we were gearing up for the trip. I was to meet my b/f there and the four of us were going to have a "gay/bi old time"..what I didn't know was how much fun we would have. He and Peter brought another couple along and the three couples all had fun. Now what's interesting about this?? It was the first time we all hung out...as interracial couples. I really enjoyed it. We got there, went to the beach, staked out a spot and watched the scenery. It was so liberating to be surrounded with like kind and not have to feel the pressure of the world looking over your shoulder with a disapproving eye. I'm in the process of getting pictures of our trip together. Once I'm done, I'll give you a link to view them.

I've decided to make plans to attend Pensacola next year and another friend of mine want to go because he heard how great it was. It's hard to believe that his year is half over. The best holidays are yet to come...4th of July, Southern Decadence(....go to www.southerndecadence.com to see what it's all about), Halloween and Christmas and New Years. And this year, I plan to bring it in with a bang!....Speaking of banging, things are going well with the b/f. I can't begin to tell you just how much this guy means to me. We live over 700 miles apart and yet we try to see each other as much as we can. We talk almost daily, email a lot and I will probably fly him in to see me for Southern Decadence if he can get away. He particularily love the poetry I send him. I've never been inspired to write with anyone as I have with him. The thoughts come to me at almost any moment and when they do, I have to send them. For him I say Hey Sexy, I Love You.

As always, I welcome your comments. Let me know what you think. See ya soon......

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Guys

Just wanted to apologize for the multiple blog threads. The browser locked during transmission which resulted in your inboxes getting numerous postings of the last entry. I went and deleted them. Have a great weekend.

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey To One And All!!!

Ok, I know it's been some time since I blogged. I do try to get here to blog...but something always come up to stop me..guess I should slow down a bit. I've had many of you ask me about this and I'll try to do better. I stated this blog as a way to relese my inner thoughts and frustrations and to let you into my being to see who I am and what I'm into. Having said that, let's start:

The holiday season is fast approaching but I'd like to backtrack a bit to a few holidays that I've missed blogging about. Labor Day was a blast. Well, the straight world call it Labor Day, the rest of us call it Southern Decadence. I flew my sweetheart in for the occassion(since my birthday was on the 1st and his the 17th, we decided to celebrate and exchange gifts) and we met a friend of mine in New Orleans and we had a interesting experience. If you've never been to a bathhouse before, next time you happen to be in New Orleans, go to The Club. I know bathhouses in the past hasn't had a good reputation but what I find interesting about this one is that the guys there are actually POLITE! If you say you're not interested, they move on. We met my friend Tariq there and had some good clean wet fun....in the shower that is!. It's something about three guys taking a shower together and then turn around only to find 10-20 more guys standing around watching and grabbing their crotches...erotic indeed.

Halloween was good also. My boyfriend was in town again and we spent some quality time(looking foward to more baby!) and went to a social gathering of gay/bi men. It was a good event. Most of the guest were happy to see us and some were not so happy. After all this time, I'm still trying to figure out which disturbs them more: the fact we're an interracial couple..or the fact that we are a couple. Go figure. It works for us and that's what counts. I will see him in a few weeks because he and his family are going on a cruise for Thanksgiving. I'm so proud of him. He is such a determined person..more than anyone I know. Once he makes up his mind to do something, it's done! I'm looking foward to the day when he can visit often.

That's it for the holidays..now to the rest. I spoke to a guy I met a few months ago at my healthclub. I'll reference him as RR out of respect for his privacy. Guys, let me tell you...this guy is hot. He wouldn't agree because he don't see himself in that light. To give you a visual, he's about 6ft(sorry if I got some of your stats wrong buddy), sunkissed skin...by that, I mean tanned all over..nuts included. Nice smile and a southern accent that is to die for. He's from MS and comes every so often here on business. Whenever he comes we hang out at the club and chat. Did I mention...or fail to mention..that he's uncut??? I know some of you queens out there were wondering so I thought I'd indulge. What's interesting about RR is that as I said, he don't seem himself as attractive. We all have doubts about something we don't like, but...and I guess I understand what he's going through in that area, but I'm quite open about things. He looks to me at times for advice and I try to answer his questions as honest as I can. He is interesting and hope in time our friendship can be one of mutual trust...of course it would be a whole lot easier on him if he just took my advice without question...LOL.

Give me your thoughts..love to hear from you as always. Shad, I'll call you soon. Tim, thanks for all the kind e-cards you send. They really mean a lot. To my special one...when you come next time, I'm ready for payment. Better have "Nature's Credit Card" ready mister!

Blog soon....

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey There!

It's that time of the year again. It's hard to believe that the holiday season has made it yet again. I could bore you with all the crap you're used to hearing but I won't. Instead, I'll just rant and rave...afterall, it's MY blog and I'll do what I want..LOL. Good news to report: As some of you know, my boyfriend has decided to move back home. He's been trying to find a position that he can truly make his own and we think he's done that. I'm very excited and happy for him. Whether or not he was serious in the past, he got upset because I wouldn't tell him to move back home. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. Had he chose to move back, I wanted it to be his decision to do so...with no influence from me. I truly think that some decisions in life are best made when you make them alone. He had my support regardless, but I wanted it to feel right to him. He should be moving back in mid December. We'll still be about 30-40 minutes away from each other, but it's better than 12 hours apart. Looking foward to spending time with him.

RR, I haven't forgotten about you. I look foward to seeing you when you arrive in February. Guys, RR is truly a work in progress. I don't mean that negatively, but he's a person that once he finds his way, he'll be a force to be reckoned with. I see him as a "divided soul" yet in charge of his day to day. You'll hear me speak of him often. I'm having fun trying to help him come into his own.

Shad..what can I say? a TRUE spirit you are! I know I've said this before, but I value your friendship.

Tim, I'd like for us to communicate more. I'd like to get to know you on a higher level. Your insight is what I feel is sorely missed these days. You will never walk alone.

If I forgot about anyone please know it's not intentional. I'm trying as much as I can to mend fences that can be and tear down those that can't...but I can't do it alone..nor do I choose to.

So what said, break out the decorations, party hats, those "blow up things"....um...you know what(or who) I mean and just have fun...I know I will! .....Later!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Everyone!!

I guess you can read by the title of this blog that my baby is back home where he belongs! It has been a major undertaking for him to move back. There were times he thought he wouldn't make it. We both hadn't been in the best of health lately but still we managed to stay connected during this move. Christmas was great even though I didn't get to see him. I'm planning to see him today and have our own private holiday. He seems to be enjoying his new job. I have mentioned to him my plans to have him more financially stable and he seems receptive to my ideas...hell, he's receptive to anything I present to him...hehehe. Welcome home baby...I love you!

I spoke to my friend Shad a few nights ago. We've started making plans for Gay Days in May 08. We had a great time last May and wanted to do something really spectacular this coming year. I mentioned this to my friend Gary who attends my healthclub and he's all on board. I've gotten emails from you guys and I just want to let you know that I've not forgotten you. The holidays have been very busy for me but I find a few moments to blog like I promised you I would.

As a favor to me, please say a prayer for my "little brother" Lane. He recently lost his grandmother and I know he's hurting. If you don't know him, he was very close to her. Lane, if it means anything to you Lane, grandma knew of your circumstances surrounding your being gay. Grandma's tend to be more in step with their grandchildren. The bond you shared with her is remotely due to her knowing that those around you will give you grief simply for being who you are. Take the good memories and own them...she wouldn't have it any other way.

RR...keep me posted on when you'll be in town. I want to introduce to my baby because I think you'll learn a lot about being who you are...and a few "ass eating" jokes are good to hear. Wow...New Year's is a few days away. Please be safe...lots of sick fuckers out there...and if you have to shoot your roman candle, remember this: the longer the wick, the louder the bang...or is it the shorter the wick? Either way, bring in the New Year with ....well...a bang!

Happy New Year!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

HNY!!!!!!

Hello to one and all! 2008 is finally here and we have had an interesting 2007. I've shared plenty with you over the past year and hope to continue the trend this year. You've seen my ups and downs, ins and outs and to those of you who responded to my blogs, my sincere thanks. You've gotten a chance to see me grow as a person and probably learned a little more about me than you probably expected. Stick around..there's more to learn.

You've met my boyfriend Shawn(if you read the response he sent recently), my best friend Shad, my "brother" Lane, and my newest friend, RR. I do apologize for the gallery section. I'm trying to get some new pictures and well as remove the duplicate postings. I'm a HUGE lover of black and white photography and I hope to get some up there for you to view. Rest assured, I am working on it. Have a good sleep...we'll talk soon.....

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hello Everyone!!

I got up early and decided to work on my photo gallery. I put some pictures up and did a little editing to my last blog. I have some pictures of me that I'm trying to reduce so I can post them...some are clothed...some not. If you email me (pntzroff@yahoo.com--put JUB as the subject)as to how I can reduce them to size for posting, I'll be happy to share.

What's new this weekend?? Have a few errands to run and talk to a few friends. Have to work a bit this afternoon but it's all good. I'm preparing for the Mardi Gras season. It's one of my favorite holidays. In case you haven't heard of it, it's on February 5th this year and New Orleans is the place to be! Lots of activities, contests, drag shows..and the best part...naked male flesh!!! One must be careful about exposing your private parts in public because you could get arrested. Some do it on the sly and it's always fun to see. To reduce the chance of getting caught in public, one simply go to the bathhouse. Have to give a "shout out" to The Club in New Orleans. If seeing, touching, smelling, tasting, licking, squeezing, blowing, fucking, sucking, spanking, gangbanging, jacking, slurping, fingering, weightlifting, ball lifting, towel spanking and just good clean fun excites you, you need to be there. www.theclubs.com is the ultimate place for letting your hair down. I hope I gave you the right link...if not, just Google it..lol. I go there from time to time and I always have a good time. Shawn and I went there and felt very relaxed and comfortable. Oh yeah, did I mention you can have sex in public there???

Well, gotta go. Check out the gallery and vote on your favorite pictures and feel free as always to comment on the blog. Stay Sweet!!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hello To Everyone!!

OK...I realize I hadn't blogged in some time, but don't think I didn't want to. I've been moving so fast these past few weeks that it just got away from me. I chose the title of this blog entry to be "Mardi Gras Madness" for several reasons...good and bad.

The Good: Myself, Shawn and my friend Gary went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. It was kinda good to be in a setting that was totally free. I walked in the French Quarter with my boyfriend and my best friend and we just had a awesome time!. Granted, some of us had a bit much to drink but considering what the occasion was, it was justified. I got to see a side of Gary and I had never seen and it was good to see him having fun. Shawn and I have a good time whenever we get together but this was different. After bar hopping, lunch and watching straight people fall on their asses and showing cock and ass, we decided to go to The Club. Nothing like going to a place where there's wall to wall naked male flesh...the highlight of the day for us all. Shawn, Gary, and I will be going to Pensacola for Gay Days in May. I confirmed the reservations recently and we are pumped. We will take pictures to share with you.

The Bad: As some of you know, I've had some things were going on in my personal and professional life. The professional stuff seems to have taken care of itself. I feel soon our department may have a few vacant positions. At least one girl will be let go soon..and it's for many reasons the most important one being her attitude which brings the whole department down. In my personal life things have taken a toll. Shawn's aware of this for sure....last summer, my mom had to take in her sister. She had a few mishaps in her home that required her to be with someone almost on a daily basis. My sister convinced her to move in with my mom...at least temporarily...until she get back on her feet. We couldn't understand just why she was so ill because she never indicated she was in bad health. After visiting with her doctors, we were informed that she had congestive heart failure. Also we were told she was taking medication for her kidneys. When my mom heard the news, she was shocked and told my aunt she's going to stay with her indefinitely. If that weren't enough, two days later, my aunt's daughter from Texas called and informed us that my aunt was also HIV positive and had been for the past 7years. We were all devastated. But we put that aside and decided to be there for her since her own daughter hasn't seen fit to come and care for her own mother in her time of need. All of this initally happened in June of 2007. It saddens me to say that on February 28, 2008, she passed away peacefully with my mom by her side. Hospice ruled the death as a result of CHF but HIV factored into it as well but it wasn't the primary cause of death. She was the kind of woman that "kicked ass" and to see her fall from grace(which was her name--Grace) in such a short period of time is amazing. I know hospice has gotten a bad rap but I can honestly tell you, if it weren't for them, we have no idea how we could've handled things. So I'll attend another funeral for another relative within a 2year period. Grace.....she was truly Amazing!!!

I am fine and I have to be. I realize my mom will have her moment to grieve...we all will. But things will be ok.
To those I've spoken to about this recently, thanks for your support. Shawn, once again you've come through for me and I so love you for that. You'll hear from me once all the services and memorials have come and gone but do know that I haven't forgotten you. Thanks for being there but know if you need me, you all know how to reach me......take care bitches!!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Good Morning Bitches!!!

It's me again. So much to get caught up on so let's get into it.

I'm in the process of putting final touches on my trip tp Pensacola for GayDays. Last year was wonderful and it was nice to be with "family" and not have to look over your shoulder for a disapproving eye. Picture this: one beach house, a lesbian couple, a single gay man, three M2M couples, a great view of the beach....you get the picture. Should be interesting to say the least.

Shawn and I are really excited about this trip because we really need the time to connect and just be ourselves. Things are going well with us and since he's moved only 30 minutes away, it's easier to make a quick visit. He has grown so much. I'm proud to see him in the place he's in. He's centered and has and idea of what he wants for his future and that makes me happy. Yesterday I surprised him and drove to see him before he went to work just to kiss him and give him a hug to say have a good day. Yeah, I know, I could've just called and done that like I've done before, but I think if you have the thought to do something special for someone, you do it...period!

Another comical thing happened to me yesterday that was not so as embarrassing as it is funny...but I'll let you be the judge of that: After I met with Shawn yesterday, I decided to go into the French Quarter to do some shopping for prints to hang. Earlier in the morning I started to have lower back pains and it was really getting to me. I decided to go to The Club to sit in the whirlpool figuring the hot water will relax my muscles and I'd feel better. I got in and initially went to the whirlpool only to discover it was being cleaned. So I went back to the front desk to find out how long it would take to get it back running. I was told that the state fire marshall was there to test the alarm system. At this point I was about to leave and was told no one can leave. What?? I asked how long would this take. Said it shouldn't be more than a hour. I found out that was a lie. They had to put me into a room and everyone inside had to STAY in their rooms until we got the green light.....2 1/2 hours later! Once I got the OK, I decided to shower and leave. While in the shower, a nice looking French guy came in and just stood there stroking himself until he popped. Next a couple came in. One of the couple asked me if I mind if he just watched while I got cleaned. I told him jokingly for $10 you can. He said hold on. I thought he got offended and left. Not only did he come back to the shower with $10, but his partner came back also with his $10! So to sum it up, I got paid $20 to shower...and there was no sex! Imagine that. I told Shawn and he laughed and said if it's that easy, he's gonna "pimp" me out on the beach in Pensacola for cocktails....and who still think he doesn't love me?? Gotta love him!

Gotta run now. Give me your thoughts and comments. Take care!!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hello to one and all...

Wow!! I didn't think it has been since April since I last blogged. So much to talk about and put down so I'll just get started.

Gay Days in Pensacola was awesome! We got in late that night and the housemates decided to go to the beach to walk. A soundstage was set up for activities the next day and people were camped out on the beach. Except for a few sand crabs, the experience was wonderful. We then went back to the house and was ready for bed. There we were...myself, Shawn, Gary, Will, Alex and Jared...in the great house. Hit the beach the following morning and met up with a friend of my ex and sat under their tent and ate good food and sipped margaritas and watched the boys and girls walk around..topless and bottomless. Lots of people this year..and more lesbians than last year. Later that evening, went to dinner then Emerald City. Back to the beach the next day. Shawn and I pitched a tent this time and enjoyed each other's company....still plenty of hot guys to look at. Met a few who didn't speak much English and took a few pictures. That night, I grilled burgers and hot dogs and some of the housemates went clubbing. Shawn and I stayed at home cuddling and watching "First Sunday"...a good funny movie. Winding down the trip we agreed to come back next year..and get a much bigger house..haha! Will, Jared and Alex got in their car and me Shawn and Gary got into mine and we parted ways towards home. My friend Gary had never been to Pensacola and he was so excited about next year, it's all he could talk about.

As some of you know, I'd been hoping to meet my ex to put closure on some issues since December 07. We finally met in June 08. Much longer than I wanted but it was good to see him. I like to say that I've grown A LOT since our breakup and Shawn is to thank for that. The ex told me things that he felt responsible for which was good to hear but I didn't hear those two words that would've meant a lot to me.."I'm Sorry!" I've accepted that I'm not going to hear those words and that's ok. My close friends close to that relationship know what I'm talking about and understand why this is/was important to me. I walked away from the meeting saying to myself and thinking the last time I saw him was the last time I'll see him. Granted I've made mistakes and made my peace to him about those...and I couldn't get that from him. I wish him well in what path he chooses to go and feel confident that should he ever need to talk, I'd be here...but to be honest with you, I'm not looking for it. So my focus is on my and Shawn. I know this hasn't been the easiest subject for him to hear about but he's been so good in wanting me to get that closure and thanks to him, I have..I love you baby!

I stopped by my BBF Shad's house to wish him Happy Birthday..ok it was late but I did make it...lol. It was good to see him and Peter. He wanted me to help him pick colors for his new home and I was honored. After I gave him his gift, I realized that outside of talking with Peter, I never knew when his birthday was. Sorry about that! Shad, I'll touch base with you when that time comes for ideas. OHH and through all of this, Shawn, Gary and I are going to see Madonna in Houston in November. I can't wait...should be a good show. Rumor also has it that Janet Will be in Houston in September..I'll look into that for sure! My circle of friends are increasing. I met Carl at my healthclub and he seems very nice...kinda quiet. I went to a pool party and thought I'd invite him. We met Shawn there later on and had fun..that is until the sun went down and the trunks went off. He asked me if this goes on often..told him no too often but when the opportunity comes up, they come off...he especially enjoyed that part!! RR, my friend from MS came down for a visit recently. He found a guy here and he broke his heart. He led him down a path of a relationship that RR was about to put his life, his future, his family on the line for this guy then just dropped him. I've talked to him to help him get past the hurt and he so didn't deserve to be treated the way he was. RR, if anything else, just know that until you accept you did nothing wrong, and you acknowledge a few things within, only then can you be happy. If any of you guys wish to send a response to RR, send it here. I think he need to hear from other guys who've been there and who can offer advice. He would appreciate it. I also met a guy named Blaine who lives in Thibodeaux. I specifically make it clear to anyone that I have a b/f and I'm only looking for friends to hang out with. I can see that I'm going to have to set the ground rules again. I mean, if I want a blowjob or a dicking, I know where I can get it..and get it good!

There..I think I'm caught up now. Comment if you will. Thanks for being there...Talk soon Bitches!!

 

[ZackDaniel]

Hey Fellas!

Just had a few minutes to blog. Busy is as busy does I guess. Things are going good at work. Been busy with projects and yes, preparing for another birthday(9/1). I had plans to get together with my friend Gary, Shawn, some of Gary's friends for Southern Decadence. Shawn surprised me with tickets to see R&B singer Teena Marie. This girl can SING!!! Relatively small in size but she packs a punch with her voice. Got all ready to make the trek to New Orleans. Well, those plans for the concert and Southern Decadence have been cancelled. The culprit? HURRICANE GUSTAV!!! I had plans to see a good show and get blown away....and this fucker plans to intrude on my plans!. Well, I should'nt be surprised since Katrina decided she wanted a blow and being bisexual, it was just a matter of time before a guy came along to take a turn...LOL

Seriously, exactly three years this weekend, Hurricane Katrina came to New Orleans and turned it inside out. As of this time(11:15 AM CST) the storm is about 790 miles away from New Orleans with expected landfall around Monday night between 1-4AM. I think everyone learned valuable lessions from Katrina because to see how things seem to flow to evacuate the city DAYS before the storm is amazing. I spoke to Shawn this morning and he's coming to higher ground(he lives in Metarie). I worry about him there anyway and now more so because where he lives is close to one of the levees that hold back the waters of Lake Ponchatrain. He is fine and assured me he won't stay. Just to give you an idea of how many people are trying to get out, think about this: When I leave Shawn's to headback home, the ride takes about 40 minutes. Multiply that by thousands of cars, suv's, busses trying to get over 300,000 people out of harms way can take hours. Should he leaves at noon, I won't see him for another 4-6hours if not longer. Keep him and the residents of the coast in your prayers.

My friend Gary offered to have a get together at his place so we may hang out there and meet some of his friends and have some fun.

I'll try and blog a few times before the storm hit. Some of you emailed me to get updates on the things happening when Katrina came. I'll be happy to do that again this time. The media will only show you what it wants to but if you want to get the truth of what's going on, only a native can fill you in. Should the power go out, I won't be able to blog but can text. Those of you not in the state and want to receive a text, email me at pntzroff@hotmail.com and include your phone number including area code BEFORE Monday midnight and I'll update you as soon as I'm able.

Shawn, take care and be safe baby. Later bitches!!