11 years ago, remembering Tyler Clementi

[belamyi]

Let's see: there seem to be two sides deciding about two respective victims, both apparently taking for granted, while acknowledging at the same time that, leaving aside the victim and "more-victim-than-thou" concepts, this whole mess is derived from the bulk of society: the barking one like the silent, complaying one.

Tyler would have not commited suicide if he did not have to face zillions of people pointing at him, rather than at the two little punks and, conversely, (which was more Dom's point, again, victimization aside) those two would have not been created that sort of punks if society were not basically a conventional form of terrorist or, at least, chaos organization (this pandemic gave goody-two-shoes "libs" a good intake dose from that reality they still resist to accept), casually allowing cases like this one, while taking no blame and responsibility for them.

 

[KaraBulut]

^ And this.

 

[rareboy]

Getting back to the original subject of this thread...

I do remember Tyler Clementi, of course. His username here was cit2mo.

Tyler's opening post is below.

This wasn't his first post on JUB. There had been others before, talking about his anxiety and health issues. He had gone away to college and he was doing the same experimentation that most college students do. He just seemed to be struggling with anxiety about it.

The responses that he received to his post ran the gamut from anger at the roommate to supportive of Tyler talking to his dorm's RA to get another roommate. In retrospect, Tyler's responses were more like the responses of someone who was depressed- he had a lot of trouble seeing the way out of the situation. Now, we know that he was more despondent than any of us realized.

There were other things that we discovered about Tyler after his death. One thing in particular was that he was 18 years old. He had been a member of JUB for over 3 years, which meant he had lied about his age when he joined.

In 2010, JUB was a place where a lot of people came for support. Empty Closets had been started in 2004 because JUB had been banning so many underage members and several of members of JUB were concerned that we were banning kids who needed support and not giving them anywhere to go.

In the support forums, there's a lot of occasions where we give advice and we never find out what happened... did everything work out? This was one time where a lot of really good advice was given but the advice was not taken and we know the outcome.

As I read through this thread, which started as a remembrance of a JUB member who committed suicide, I had to wonder whether someone in Tyler's circumstance who came to JUB today would get the same supportive response that guys like Tyler received a decade ago? Or whether their thread seeking help would turn into what this thread has turned into?

This.

I wonder the same thing.

 

[belamyi]

(...)
Tyler Clementi should have confronted Ravi and Molly. They should have worked it out somehow. Or better yet, he should have just gone through with the dorm room transfer request that he made.

Can we all agree that jumping off a bridge wasn't exactly the ideal reaction to this circumstance?

The rest of the world aside from Tyler Clementi SHOULD REALIZE that one SHOULDN'T expect everyone else to be and act the way one does or, HA!, rather, the way one do not do either, but keeps telling themselves they SHOULD be able to do in their own parallel universe.

That is exactly the sort of mental disposition that caused the punks to expose Tyler's privacy, and nobody dares telling me they are not like those two: again, if you start telling people the way they SHOULD be and act, you are just, at most, a different cult from the same religion.

 

[belamyi]

Getting back to the original subject of this thread...

I do remember Tyler Clementi, of course. His username here was cit2mo.

Tyler's opening post is below.

This wasn't his first post on JUB. There had been others before, talking about his anxiety and health issues. He had gone away to college and he was doing the same experimentation that most college students do. He just seemed to be struggling with anxiety about it.

The responses that he received to his post ran the gamut from anger at the roommate to supportive of Tyler talking to his dorm's RA to get another roommate. In retrospect, Tyler's responses were more like the responses of someone who was depressed- he had a lot of trouble seeing the way out of the situation. Now, we know that he was more despondent than any of us realized.

There were other things that we discovered about Tyler after his death. One thing in particular was that he was 18 years old. He had been a member of JUB for over 3 years, which meant he had lied about his age when he joined.

In 2010, JUB was a place where a lot of people came for support. Empty Closets had been started in 2004 because JUB had been banning so many underage members and several of members of JUB were concerned that we were banning kids who needed support and not giving them anywhere to go.

In the support forums, there's a lot of occasions where we give advice and we never find out what happened... did everything work out? This was one time where a lot of really good advice was given but the advice was not taken and we know the outcome.

As I read through this thread, which started as a remembrance of a JUB member who committed suicide, I had to wonder whether someone in Tyler's circumstance who came to JUB today would get the same supportive response that guys like Tyler received a decade ago? Or whether their thread seeking help would turn into what this thread has turned into?

If one's very last chance to find good advice and support away from leaving the building is any internet forum, let alone JUB...

 

[ClubLevelVegan]

^And this.

This what?

I wouldn’t come for this board for support. There have been and are racists and transphobes, biphobics, misogynists and so on, on this board that have never been checked for as long as this board existed. People anyone barely said anything about because of popular of said individual(s). Pretending that someone can’t come to this board now for some kind of support is disingenuous when this board has long separated forums for health and safety, religion, coming out because of how bad threads can get in general on this board.

Don’t use my post of some sort of example. It’s not.

 

[belamyi]

^ If you do not fit in, even as a problem that people may come to accept by considering it manageable (through pity or whatever), you are screwed: people will not feel comfortable with something they can properly handle and classify, and it would make them either feel scared or uneasy (upset, impotent, insulted and pissed), or both, so, depending on their degree of anger and stupidity, they will react either aggressively or passively... or both.

One is connected, by default, only superficially to the rest of the people, family included... if you come to feel to be disconnected from everyone, because there is some deeper connection you can not find among all the daily, default ones, and you lack any sort of material or personal attachment to make up for that other shortcoming, good luck... OR good night.

 

[rareboy]

This what?

I wouldn’t come for this board for support. There have been and are racists and transphobes, biphobics, misogynists and so on, on this board that have never been checked for as long as this board existed. People anyone barely said anything about because of popular of said individual(s). Pretending that someone can’t come to this board now for some kind of support is disingenuous when this board has long separated forums for health and safety, religion, coming out because of how bad threads can get in general on this board.

Don’t use my post of some sort of example. It’s not.

In truth, there have been people who have come to this board for support and have received it.

And no matter how cynical and argumentative that some threads can be...I still believe that people can come here and get some good advice, guidance and even 'friends'.

 

[KaraBulut]

In truth, there have been people who have come to this board for support and have received it.

I would agree.

And no matter how cynical and argumentative that some threads can be...I still believe that people can come here and get some good advice, guidance and even 'friends'.

That's not the issue. The issue is that more are leaving because threads devolve like this one.

This thread started with an innocent post about Tyler Clementi and Congressional interest in legislation to protect LGBTQ people from discrimination. There was a little discussion about who Tyler was and his connection with JUB.

And we ended up here:

Since you are dense, let me try to be a little more clear.

I am not dense and I am not interested in your life story your narcissist.

It's a little hard to ask Congress for help stopping bullying of LGBT people when we're so good at doing it to ourselves.

 

[belamyi]

It's a little hard to ask Congress for help stopping bullying of LGBT people when we're so good at doing it to ourselves.

That's like China saying the USA can not lecture anyone on freedom, let alone proclaim itself as the poster child of liberty, when only its economy make of it the United Slaves of America.

If laws have always been passed while people still remaining mean and criminal, why would it be different with "the gays".

 

[rareboy]

I would agree.


That's not the issue. The issue is that more are leaving because threads devolve like this one.

This thread started with an innocent post about Tyler Clementi and Congressional interest in legislation to protect LGBTQ people from discrimination. There was a little discussion about who Tyler was and his connection with JUB.

And we ended up here:




It's a little hard to ask Congress for help stopping bullying of LGBT people when we're so good at doing it to ourselves.

I am sure you appreciate how sad it makes me to see homos in a purse fight about suicide encouraged by the thoughtless and cynical responses from those who may have never been at this fulcrum point.

 

[belamyi]

^ Imagine how must feel about it all whoever did survive it.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

If we commit murder or make someone else kill himself? No. You're welcome.

what if I told you you support a system that causes MANY people to kill themselves? Would that shatter this imaginary moral superiority you got goin on?

 

[ClubLevelVegan]

I would agree.


That's not the issue. The issue is that more are leaving because threads devolve like this one.

This thread started with an innocent post about Tyler Clementi and Congressional interest in legislation to protect LGBTQ people from discrimination. There was a little discussion about who Tyler was and his connection with JUB.

And we ended up here:




It's a little hard to ask Congress for help stopping bullying of LGBT people when we're so good at doing it to ourselves.

We shouldn’t need to have to ask anyone for help when significant parts of our Community decide to commit suicide because how we are treated by society in general. That help should just be given to us because that is happening. Yet that isn’t happening when the mere mention of a Trans person supposedly being a pervert in LA garners the gathering of a right wing mob. The Queer community is being actually attacked on the daily and you want come at me with comments that arguing on the internet is equated to bullying and because of that it somehow weighs whether or not we should actually get help from Congress. Fucking ridiculous.

 

[ClubLevelVegan]

I am sure you appreciate how sad it makes me to see homos in a purse fight about suicide encouraged by the thoughtless and cynical responses from those who may have never been at this fulcrum point.

I hope you are not referencing me here because you would be so far off point.

 

[rareboy]

^ I am not.

 

[KaraBulut]

We shouldn’t need to have to ask anyone for help when significant parts of our Community decide to commit suicide because how we are treated by society in general. That help should just be given to us because that is happening. Yet that isn’t happening when the mere mention of a Trans person supposedly being a pervert in LA garners the gathering of a right wing mob. The Queer community is being actually attacked on the daily and you want come at me with comments that arguing on the internet is equated to bullying and because of that it somehow weighs whether or not we should actually get help from Congress. Fucking ridiculous.

Actually, what I did was quote you.

I am not dense and I am not interested in your life story your narcissist.

 

[CyborgDreamSt8]

At the point one becomes an adult and can make rational decisions on their own it is their responsibility to grow beyond what they have been taught when it is obviously wrong. They chose instead to torment someone. They were not victims in the slightest and they damn sure don't deserve understanding and forgiveness. Fuck out of here with that bullshit. What they deserve was serious prison time.