12 Sexual Types

[Flexuality]

Many of the threads in this forum involve questions about whether someone is gay or straight. There seems to be a lot of disagreement about who falls in between. According to surveys, if you include sexual attraction, desire, and behaviors, at least one-third of men and women (or closer to half when you look at college students) should be considered bisexual to some degree, even though most of these still identify as straight.

I'm a psychiatrist who has been studying sexuality for many years, and I think I have a scheme for thinking about sexual orientation that many of us might find helpful. Rather than categorizing people as gay and straight (and a few bisexuals who fall between the cracks), I've come up with a dozen sexual types that account for the most common patterns I find in the scientific and social science literature and in real life.

I've listed my brief definitions of the types below, but you can find more information on my web site, including a Flexuality Test you can take anonymously to find your own sexual profile. The site can be found at Flexuality.info or at MySexTest.com.

Let me know if this is useful:

1. Heteroflexible: You are open to fooling around with someone of the same sex, even though you generally consider yourself straight. Also known as bi-curious, questioning, experimenting, or mostly straight.

2. Supersexual: You have a strong drive and are interested in finding new ways to express yourself sexually. You probably prefer the opposite sex, but gender is less important than opportunity.

3. Ambisexual: You are attracted to men and women in more or less the same way and to the same degree. Also known as classic bisexual, AC-DC, 50-50, or a Kinsey 3.

4. Polyamorous: You have the capacity to have romantic relationships with both men and women. Your tastes and experience may be fluid and not determined by the gender of your partner.

5. Gay or Lesbian: You have a strong preference for members of the same sex. You have probably had experiences with the opposite sex as well, but your same-sex desires are strong enough that you would not want to live as straight. Also known as homosexual.

6. Queer: You are frustrated with the divide between gay and straight, and suspicious of divisions between male and female. You may consider yourself post-gay and beyond labels. You may also call yourself homoflexible, to reflect your gay preferences and openness to other relationships.

7. Metamorphic: You feel different from the gender of your birth, either in your life as a whole or only in the realm of sex. There are several different metamorphic types; also known as androgynous, cross-dresser, transgendered, transvestite, transvestic fetish, or transsexual.

8. Transitioning: Your sense of sexual orientation is changing or evolving. Commonly known as coming out of the closet, in the case of same-sex interests; you may transition in other directions.

9. Restrained: Your desires are at odds with your view of yourself and your relationship to your family and society. Also known as closet case or on the down-low.

10. Versatile: You are willing and able to have sex with others for whom you do not feel much desire or love, usually because you derive some other benefit from the relationship. Also known as gay-for-pay or sugarbaby.

11. Macho: Only applies to men. You are willing to have sex with other men, so long as you are the active or insertive partner. Your partner may be gay, but you consider yourself straight or a "top."

12. Straight: You lack sexual and romantic feelings for members of the same sex, and any same-sex experiences have confirmed your lack of interest. Also known as heterosexual

 

[EJMichaels]

I think much of this is very useful. I did some graduate school research on gender categories and find all of this fascinating -the content area and the attempts to classify. Unfortunately, I did not have the "Aha - that's me" experience at first. I'm some sort of bisexual, probably best classified as your "queer". I would have expected more classifications for the Kinsey 2s and 4-5. I definitely don't see men and women the same way - different in both quality and quantity. The other thing that came to mind immediately is that "versatile" is already being used differently and, at first thought, it doesn't seem like a good label for the definition you provide. I'm headed to your web site now.

 

[EJMichaels]

Well, I took it and I enjoyed the questions. I had trouble with a few, but probably less than on many other questionnaires. Some of it was too hetero-centric. If the test-taker was gay or bi, many of the questions in part 1 were meaningless. There were a few others that could be interpreted a couple of different ways. At least it seemed that way to me. Lacking "not applicable" on a few, I usually picked the neutral point on the scale. I took the "marriage and children" item literally and said I wasn't interested primarily because I don't want children. It didn't ask just if I would want to get married. Also, I hope the scoring takes into account the case where the person has already done something, and then has to answer whether or not the activity would be desirable to try. Overall, very interesting. I look forward to my emailed results.

 

[Telstra]

But 12. Straight: has the highest % right? say over 80% ?

 

[qget12]

I predict a lot of arguing/denying about to go down. The majority of people don't like when their binary notions of sexuality are challenged, whether they are gay or straight. Hence all the trouble Bisexuals get from both sides of the spectrum.

 

[jdbadboy]

I think some of these labels are just describing the same thing.

 

[HornyHenry]

11. Macho: Only applies to men. You are willing to have sex with other men, so long as you are the active or insertive partner. Your partner may be gay, but you consider yourself straight or a "top."

This best describes me. While I dont consider myself straight in that I'd do a broad, I'm proud to be a masculine Top and much prefer the company of my fellow masculine men be they Tops, bottoms or versatile, as well as the superior sex that using a male bottom(whether man or fem) provides.

 

[AsianDream]

I took the test a few weeks back and got a score of 67 and ratings of:

Queer, Metamorphic Traints and Restrained

I guess restrained is because my family don't know I'm gay - leave alone very sexually active and into fetishes!

But I'm still not sure what the score of 67 means?

You'd probably get some stick in accademic circles for your test methods - but I think it's quite a valid appraoch to collecting data

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I think some of these labels are just describing the same thing.

Agreed. For example, Macho and Heteroflexible are very similar, even though they are not exactly the same. I'm also curious as to why asexuality was not mentioned. Also, aren't queer and polyamorous very similar to pansexual?

 

[Flexuality]

Thank you everyone for the feedback. And I'm glad some of you took the test and found the results to be more or less relevant.

In response to some of your comments, I think you are right that the test is not designed for those who are mostly gay. That was a conscious decision. Surveys show pretty clearely that only about 2-3% of men and women consider themselves primarily gay, and those of us who identify as gay in spite of all the social pressures to be straight don't really need a push to become more flexible. I was much more interested in helping people who think of themselves as mostly straight to realize their potential for same-sex interactions. But if we concentrated on the gay side of the spectrum, I think we could tease apart all sorts of homo-flexible types.

I do not think these are "natural" and essential categories. They just reflect how most people, especially in the West, think of themselves. And they overlap or change over time.

By the way, I'll be posting the next batch of results on Friday morning. I analyze the responses weekly, sometimes more frequently, depending on the volume.

 

[Nomenclature]

But 12. Straight: has the highest % right? say over 80% ?

Heterosexual would be a Kinsey 0, or 100% straight.

 

[Flexuality]

I didn't want to keep anyone waiting, so I just posted the latest batch, as of about 8 pm EST. Thanks everyone for your interest.

Please let me know if there are issues you'd like me to address on the blog, from a medical-social science perspective. Also, if anyone has suggestions about a forum akin to JUB that has more of a female audience, please let me know.

 

[EJMichaels]

... Also, if anyone has suggestions about a forum akin to JUB that has more of a female audience, please let me know.

I'd like to know that, too. Women seem to specialize more. I like the "one stop shopping" experience at JUB.

I'd also like to see more about AsianDream's question - how to get a feel for what the numerical score means, e.g., in a certain range, you'd be considered not very flexible, or whatever. If this was school, my 74 out of 100 would be low, but on your test, it's one of the highest scores you have posted.

 

[clicker]

Thank you everyone for the feedback. And I'm glad some of you took the test and found the results to be more or less relevant.

In response to some of your comments, I think you are right that the test is not designed for those who are mostly gay. That was a conscious decision. Surveys show pretty clearely that only about 2-3% of men and women consider themselves primarily gay, and those of us who identify as gay in spite of all the social pressures to be straight don't really need a push to become more flexible. I was much more interested in helping people who think of themselves as mostly straight to realize their potential for same-sex interactions. But if we concentrated on the gay side of the spectrum, I think we could tease apart all sorts of homo-flexible types.

I do not think these are "natural" and essential categories. They just reflect how most people, especially in the West, think of themselves. And they overlap or change over time.

By the way, I'll be posting the next batch of results on Friday morning. I analyze the responses weekly, sometimes more frequently, depending on the volume.

Flex, does the 2-3% reflect only people who identify as gay and not men who have sex with men but don't consider themselves gay? . Cause that's a mighty low number. And i know few men are honest about their real (homo)sexual deisre. It just sounds like low statistics from anti-gay groups.

 

[presario1000]

To me sexuality is all about self identification, you can be attracted to guys without being gay or even bi if thats how you see yourself. It might seem like a cop out to some but I feel its the best way.

And yes i'm gay.

 

[Flexuality]

Yes, the low 2-3% refers only to those who identify as gay. The 10% commonly assumed to be gay actually seems to include those who identify as bisexual. But when you include those with bisexual attractions or behaviors, not just identifications, you approach 30-50%.

The flexuality score on my test is on a range of 0-100, but it seems to be extremely hard to get above 50. It's not a grade, just a raw score, adding up all answers that reflect some degree of flexibility and subtracting all answers that indicate some degree of constraint or supression. Yes, EJM, I think you may be the highest scorer so far, by a landslide.

 

[clicker]

To me sexuality is all about self identification, you can be attracted to guys without being gay or even bi if thats how you see yourself. It might seem like a cop out to some but I feel its the best way.

And yes i'm gay.

You're right, it is a cop-out. denial is especially strong for men of a few generations ago. How can you be attracted to guys and not be bi/gay? How does that compute?

 

[clicker]

Yes, the low 2-3% refers only to those who identify as gay. The 10% commonly assumed to be gay actually seems to include those who identify as bisexual. But when you include those with bisexual attractions or behaviors, not just identifications, you approach 30-50%.

The flexuality score on my test is on a range of 0-100, but it seems to be extremely hard to get above 50. It's not a grade, just a raw score, adding up all answers that reflect some degree of flexibility and subtracting all answers that indicate some degree of constraint or supression. Yes, EJM, I think you may be the highest scorer so far, by a landslide.

I thoughtsexual orientation surveys only question one's sexual attractions, which to me is what a person's true sexual orientation really is, not even their behaviour. Interesting.......

 

[alli-berri]

1. Heteroflexible: You are open to fooling around with someone of the same sex, even though you generally consider yourself straight. Also known as bi-curious, questioning, experimenting, or mostly straight.

So what about "Homoflexible"?

 

[AsianDream]

Yes, the low 2-3% refers only to those who identify as gay. The 10% commonly assumed to be gay actually seems to include those who identify as bisexual. But when you include those with bisexual attractions or behaviors, not just identifications, you approach 30-50%.

The flexuality score on my test is on a range of 0-100, but it seems to be extremely hard to get above 50. It's not a grade, just a raw score, adding up all answers that reflect some degree of flexibility and subtracting all answers that indicate some degree of constraint or supression. Yes, EJM, I think you may be the highest scorer so far, by a landslide.

Out of curiosity I’ve done a bit of light reading on this. It’s still a very major step to identify as Gay so I’m sure the 2-3% overall figure is probably right – this also seems to be concentrated in large cities (where the percentage is often more like 6%)

A lot of the evidence seems to point to people being naturally a lot more flexible in terms of sexual behaviour and attraction than often thought.

The examples of ancient societies where homosexuality was common (though sometimes with strict customs as to age and roles) seem to show that like a lot of human activity – it very much depends on social rules. One amusing thing is that the ancient Greek authorities actually encouraged “Gays in the Military” .

One fascinating thing I’ve heard from friends in Mainland China is how the Gay scene there has exploded from absolutely nothing 10 years ago to now being more open and accepted than in Hong Kong. (sadly JUB is blocked in Mainland China – but probably more for it’s open forums than Gay porn content).