30 Days In The Hole............

[marvtha]

okay, it was only 13 hours but i've always liked that Humble Pie song!
FIRST OFF.....DEEPEST apologies to my muffins for missing the Atlanta JUB Meet!!!

this thread will explain in "disturbing" detail the reason why!

just to fill you in...........i had made plans to attend this event with the promise of decadent sex with muliple parties! how could i say "no???"
SIR BERF was sending his limo at 8 a.m. sharp.........the profits from his "Berf's Up (3 in 1 Goo) had been very lucrative!!

i knew my "bear"friend BRUNO would not allow me to attend said event being somewhat jealous of my "checkered" past
SIR BERF and i devised a plan to slip BRUNO a "mickey" rendering him unconscious so as i could fulfill my fantasy!

i had planned on getting to bed at a respectable hour......a girl needs her beauty sleep........ before attending this glamorous event........but BRUNO was in a very "amorous" mood that evening and we ended up "exploring the familiar in different ways" until' dawn!!!!!!

i thought....... "i'll just get some shut eye on the plane...after SIR BERF'S introduction into the "mile high club" of course!!!

so i made BRUNO his morning tea & honey and HALDOL and slipped into the shower...yes i do bathe!!!

whilst i was showering i later found out that BRUNO decided to get on the computer to see when the next annual HIBEARNATION weekend was taking place and stumbled upon my plans to attended my OWN event!!!!

upon entering the bedroom after my beauty regime BRUNO forcefully slammed the door behind me and locked it.
for my own protection against mad scientists, a certain chav, assassins and a vengeful sister, i had a lock installed in my bedroom!

anyhoo BRUNO was enraged "I KNOW ABOUT YOUR PLANS WHORE" he bellowed, his sweaty, hairy, naked flesh shook!
he then waved the key in my face and proceeded to turn around.... ass in air...and shove the key into his gaping a hole!!!!!!!

shockingly that feat required little effort but i was unable to comment from the bile i had just puked up in my mouth!

luckily the HALDOL had started to take effect and i would not have to be subjected to his wrath for much longer!

he muttered something then stumbled over to the bed and fell face first onto the mattress...............TIMBER!!!!!!!!!

i glanced at the alarm clock... 7:14 .......SIR BERF'S limo would be arriving soon.....
"i cannot miss this chance of unrivaled sex with multiple muffins" i thought........"what can i do?" i cried


although BRUNO'S hirsuite ass was sweaty and his "rosebud" surrounded by mammoth dingleberries from his lack of personal hygiene..... i had a plan

"MY HOO HA NEEDS MUFFIN' LOVIN" i screamed .........snapping on a rubber glove i approached the gaping porthole!

this thread is a journal of my own personal hell that has left marvtha scarred for life and will forever give me nightmares of my..............

13 HOURS IN THE BEAR'S LAIR!!!!!!

 

[marvtha]

okay the thread is disappearing..... AGAIN!!!!!!!

 

[rotary]

This thread wasn't your best, Marvtha

 

[donnykabob]

This thread wasn't your best, Marvtha

LMAO! Maybe you're losing your fanbase Marvs

 

[marvtha]

7:18 a.m.


with surprisingly little or no effort i manage to slip my gloved hand into BRUNO's stinkhole.
that explains the "Fudgefactory" fisting mags i found in his backpack!

without the aid of lube or any required effort..........I'M IN!!!!
after a little "rooting" around my fingers grasp what feels like a key....i try not to focus on what else it could be?

EUREKA!!!!! just enough time to put on my new party dress from the Jaclyn Smith collection, throw my meds and assorted sex toys into my overnight bag and UP UP AND AWAY WITH THE GAYS!!!!

just as i'm carefully trying to extract the key without scraping intestines......BRUNO let's out one of his famous farts!

the g force was of such tremendous magnitude that i fear a finger has been dislocated from the impact!!!!!

it is then that the horrific smell envelopes me like a cloud of deadly toxins........

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Oh, the humanity of it all.
Our Princess of Perversion being subjected to this barbaric treatment.
Doesn't Bruno recognize a lady when he sees one?
Muffins Unite! We will have to perform euthanasia on Bruno before the beast goes too far and really harms our delicate flower.
Were you at least able to make it to church Marvtha?

 

[marvtha]

My poor dear, what a horrible episode! As long as you're OK, that's all that matters!

well as i said ....scarred for life SIR BERF!!!!!!!
as my journal of those 13 hours unravels.......well a strong stomach, smelling salts, stiff drink and some tissue are required...because it is a sad tale!!!!
i'm here though sweetie!

 

[marvtha]

Oh, the humanity of it all.
Our Princess of Perversion being subjected to this barbaric treatment.
Doesn't Bruno recognize a lady when he sees one?
Muffins Unite! We will have to perform euthanasia on Bruno before the beast goes too far and really harms our delicate flower.
Were you at least able to make it to church Marvtha?

UNC!!!
i was ascared for my life to be sure!

seriously what did i do to deserve this???????

when a lady can't go away for a booze and drug fueled weekend and sex with many and i mean MANY men......well....then what's the world coming to????

 

[marvtha]

What a nasty ol' bear! Doesn't he realize a lady needs her space???

true dat!
marvtha just got too much love to give sweetie!

one man alone cannot handle it!!!!
too many men end up on a table in the morgue....one was already layed out on it but..............that is a story for another day.......OR NOT!!!

anyhoo...why waste the years of practice that i got in that sex ring at a young age not to mention that stint at "Mabel's Whorehouse".....now there was a woman!!!

she could suck the rind off a watermelon without swallowing a seed!!!


too hot to handle and too big of a whore to care...........

 

[marvtha]

Who? Wha? Moms Mabley's Whorehouse? Wha???

are you familiar with the place???????
i thought your dick tasted familiar!!!!

 

[marvtha]

I wandered in there accidentally one night. I missed the big flashing neon sign that said "Whorehouse"!

sweetie.........that's what they all say!
don't worry your secrets safe with me!!!!

HEY EVERYBODY.....SIR BERF FUCKS GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!


~~~~must learn to keep a secret~~~~~~~~

 

[marvtha]

No, really! I thought it was a massage parlor. I had some stiff joints that needed tendin' to! Anyway, the employees there were so friendly, and did a fine job I must say! Not a single hint of stiffness by the time they were through with me!!!

you silly man!!!

 

[james1200]

Boston must be a dull town cause none of this stuff ever happens to me! Maybe if Marvtha didn't have "cum dump" stamped on her forehead guys wouldn't abuse her so? just askin'...

 

[james1200]

Now is that any way to talk about a lady???

i'm sorry. i thought we were talking about marvtha.

 

[marvtha]

7:23 a.m.

i come to. i must have been overcome by the toxic fumes and passed out!

sometime during this short period BRUNO managed to roll over onto his back trapping my hand deep inside the belly of the beast...so to speak!

HOW will i escape????
on any given day i can barely exert enough energy to stand upright!
how am i expected to move a mountain???????

Ms. Dion sang 'love can move mountains", but can it flip it's fat ass over on it's side....with only it's left hand???
i don't think so missy!!!!

i push and prod but after onlya few seconds am sweaty and feeling faint again!

the years of booze, drugs, ciggies and a poor diet have taken their toll.
i no longer even like it missionary style because that means having to put my legs in the air....DO ME from behind so as i can at least kneel and rest my head on something!
a pillow, couch, concrete step....anything!

my dizziness may be from the smell still lingering in the air.... like the trash in august left out in the blazing sun OR the cat that you put in a shoebox under the bed because you soooooo wanted a friend, just a pal to love and play with......DAMN I MISS ROVER!!!!

overcome with emotion i lay beside the hairy hill of a man and have a good cry.
i weep out of desperation and the memory of my pet cat ROVER!

 

[marvtha]

i'm sorry. i thought we were talking about marvtha.

JIMMIE.always the petulant child!
you'd better behave or i'll have your mother ground you from your interpretive dance classes!!!!

 

[marvtha]

Yeah Marvtha, I missed you last night....

ELVIS!
DID YOU GO TO THE EVENT?
DID MY MUFFINS HAVE SORDID SEX WITHOUT ME!!!???!!!!

 

[marvtha]

Poor Rover indeed! That's the saddest thing I've ever heard!!!

SIR BERF!!

the saddest thing was when MOMMA found him under my bed!
as she was carrying his carcass out of my room pieces of his rotted flesh were falling off.
i think i still have his front paw hidden somewhere!

i have long since stroked all of the fur off of it though!

MAN I MISS THAT PAW!!!!!!

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Don't despair my lovely.
Just put on a new frock, a new face and go on down to the Sunday Hootenanny in the trailer park.
It always boosts your morale to see how many marriages you can wreck.

 

[marvtha]

Don't despair my lovely.
Just put on a new frock, a new face and go on down to the Sunday Hootenanny in the trailer park.
It always boosts your morale to see how many marriages you can wreck.

UNC!!!!!!


marvtha lives in a two-story house!

but a "hootenanny" does sound fun!

you got your dancin' shoes on?????