A Hairy Gnome Companion: Lawn Decorum And Vacuum Tales

[EJMichaels]

*goes to reset email notifications so I don't miss new posts here*

 

[DonQuixote]

EJ,
Your rank was more to do with how many command officers would be on the planet at once - since the top 2 plus Doc always seem to go, in direct contravention to Star Fleet standing orders. . .

How could we have such Hot Inflagrante if you were Lt. Cmndr Scott, up in Engrg while I was on the planet?

I hope it was as good for you as it was for me - mind blowing!

 

[EJMichaels]

Mmmm......

And excellent point - one alien could wipe out the entire command staff!

 

[DonQuixote]

Hey, the "Cap'n" can't ALWAYS be the ONLY one to have some fun!

And, they wound up joining us in the end, anyway - I think he couldn't keep up with our Blinding narrative skills, lol.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

EJ is a dude!

 

[EJMichaels]

Did I miss something?

Great pic.

 

[Lefty]

My lips are sealed....and your houseboy swore he would

deny everything.

 

[EJMichaels]

This part is about right, except for the hair.

*goes to hunt down houseboy*

 

[DonQuixote]

EJ is a dude!

A Cameo appearance in an extremely short take from our Progenitor of the thread.
Are we back from insidious alternate realities?
Or was this just a bump and run?

The place just isn't the same without your wacky ways.

 

[Lefty]

Don,

Don't be a foo.

That aint the ballet bot TzuTzu.

Thats 'ej's houseboy.......I know

and how I know is none of your prurient business either.

 

[DonQuixote]

For a minute, there, I thought we were in that Other thread, lol.

I didn't mean the pic was a cameo of Tzu - I just meant his brief visit to the thread, gracing us with his presence, lol.

See the other thread for my other comment.
Time to head back to the coal mine.

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

Did I miss something?

Great pic.

You said you'd rather just be "one of the guys." ...member?
I was tryna help out

, being the helpful type I am and all.

 

[Lefty]

Gasp......ej,

that wasn't you houseboy???

that was really your alterego......

damn.....damn ...damn....

well like I always try and say,

fool me one and thats okay.

fool me twice...we roll in the hay

come on now...its time to play

I'll act straight...you be gay..


(groan)

 

[EJMichaels]

You said you'd rather just be "one of the guys." ...member?
I was tryna help out

, being the helpful type I am and all.

Awesome, thanks! You even got my ass right, although I think my "new" one is a little better.

 

[EJMichaels]

Okay, Lefty, my first poem in about 30 years:

I'm a sub and bottom on most days,
and I rarely miss a chance to play.
Being a dude is new to me,
so I'll watch and learn, and then... we'll see.

"J"

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

I like your poem EJ!

Awesome, thanks! You even got my ass right, although I think my "new" one is a little better.

for reals?

 

[ShihTzuTylenol]

And now for something completely different.

​

I was thinking we could do another production for the holidays.
A Smurf Christmas in Jamaica-mun...

In French they are: Les Schtroumpfs

We'll need performers and everyone can do their own script to keep under budget:
Cast
Papa Smurf
Nanny Smurf
Lumberjack Smurf
Cop Smurf
Construction Worker Smurf
Indian Chief Smurf
Army Corp of Engineers Smurf
Assistant Manager at Wal-Mart Smurf
Smurfette {the community ho!}

Controversy:
The Smurfs' community generally takes the form of a cooperative, sharing and kind environment based on the principle that each Smurf has something he or she is good at, and thus contributes it to Smurf society as he or she can. In return, each Smurf appears to be given their necessities of life, from housing and clothes to food without using any money in exchange. This has led to the Smurfs being labeled, associated or praised as communists.
1) I just wanna add two things. That's bullshit! They're clearly Progressive Democrats with a Socialist agenda.
2) Lets have a hobo Smurf that doesn't get anything from the community, and we'll see if he starves or resorts to a life of crime. It'll be a test, like. B'sides, Cop Smurf needs something to do/someone to bust.

So are we good?

Thanx-mun,

Shih Tzu Smurf

 

[Lefty]

oh me oh my oh jay

that was better than just okay

I liked the metre, beat and time

of this your latest shot at rhyme.

It makes me wonder whats in store

And makes me want to see some more

I'm into people and not just sex

their shapey breasts or muscled pecs

one who knows they have a brain

and can use it but not in vain

I bid you now a welcome here

Lets ALL meet and have a beer.

 

[EJMichaels]

I like your poem EJ!
for reals?

Thanks, and yes. My lies are of omission, not commission, with the exception of demographics. My ass is about that shape, just a little more padded, although not quite so taut. Still, it's damn nice, as many people have told me. Words like "best ever" and "magnificent" tend to be used.

As for Les Schtroumpfs - sounds like fun, but that's quite a challenge.

Lefty: And you're so good at poetry! Where's the party?

 

[DonQuixote]

Wow! EJ did more than dip her toes into the water - and not even over at the Poetry Thread - what bravado!

And, I must say, no wonder I went bonkers on our mission to the stars - I'll grant that the pic does much more justice to your backside than front, but what I'm seeing ain't bad at all, lol.

Welcome to the boy's club!

I'll have to ponder the Smurf Saga. I taxed my synapses on the last go round.

I vote Lefty for the Indian Chief - he seems to have lived off the land, visited some of our majestic country, and maybe even been to some Native American sections of God's Green Earth.

Oooh, and Anthony - would you do us the honour of playing the part of the Smurfette? The part seems to be calling for someone of your youth, vigor, and desire.

EJ - are you up for the role of the Construction Worker - so we can all ogle your voluptuous back side, and stuffed, tight jeans, no shirt in the heat of the work day??!!! You've already auditioned for the part with such a wonderful pic! And, just think of the possibilities - Strong, Muscular, Hunk of a man - Construction Worker bravado by day, who has a sensitive side, with a STRONG desire to satisfy his partner in any way his partner sees fit, at night . . .

Maybe I'll be the Army Corps of Engineers Smurf? He and the Construction Worker Smurf would be spending Lots of time together, right?

We need some more volunteers.

I can see Shih Tzu in a few of the roles - oh, yeah, while I'm thinking about it - NO GOING OFF AND LEAVING US TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU, Man. You be the Instigator, You keep your sorry ass right here in the thick of it, ya hear me, man?! You got stuff you got to take care of out there in the big ol' bad ol' worl', dat's OK - Just let us know if you gotta take a powder, and don't you be forgettin' to check back in, and none of dis disdainful poetry shit where we think you been gang banged and lef' for dead, ya hear?

Anybody gonna be kickin' your sorry ass it's gonna be Lefty or me - or of course, your Mama. Don't Nobody get in the way when Mama ain't happy. To quote the mighty Cos' - she brought you INTO dis world, she can take you OUTTA dis world! An' Don' you be forgettin' DAT!

Now, bend over so we can give you a kiss