A lession for those who want to fool around with their Best Friend!

[screwnutty]

Okay! I'm taking the advice of a fellow JUB (Riverrick take a bow please...because of you I'm repeating this post in the hopes that it helps other members of JUB!)

So sit back guys an well your reading this post...remember that you are not alone and that this sort of thing does happen! So please, don't learn your lesson the hard way like I had to!!

************************

Well unlike the others who have posted to your thoughts Alive and Free. I can actually say that I too had...that's HAD a best friend and experienced pretty much most of the same things you have talked about.

I meet my best friend in Grade 10, by the end of the year we where giving each other back massages and generally just staying close to each other. When we went camping with friends, we'd always share the same tent and usually ended up close to each other in our sleeping backs or just chatting away till morning at the firepit when the others had gone to sleep.

By the end of grade 13 we were jerking off in front of each other...then came college. We went to the same college and that's when we started to touch each other and stuff. By second year I was giving him BJ's and gave him is first orgasm. (we moved slow, never talked about this at all or even discussed it. ) Now in college he never returned the favour...I figured he was just scared and besides, I was having way too much fun to care. You know first time out of the house alone...no curfew. Partying etc.

By the end of college we were still fooling around. Neither one of us ever had a girlfriend! Although there was 3 or 4 girls he liked but never asked out. If the subject did come up about our activities he always link it back to...well it's just harmless fun until we get girlfriends you know...a release. Besides it's better then jerking off isn't it? He always said that. Me...being young, stupid and still confused about myself, never questioned this.

The last time we fooled around was christmas 2005. Things had changed a bit cause he was working...I was working. I lived about hour away from him at that time and we just only talked on the phone mostly and if we did hang out...It was always with other friends so we had no alone time together.

Well this all came to a crashing end by March 1st of 2006. I meet one of his new friends who he worked with (which would later turn out to be his girlfriend!) He was dating her and I guess it was getting to the serious point of the relationship. So he dragged me over and invite her over too (neither one of us knew that the other was coming over)

He told her what we did since grade 10. I just sat there...jaw on the floor. Then he explains to her that it was just a relief for him and that he had no feelings for me at all and that he never sucked me off (which was true) and when I did it to him he always thought of girls.

Well what happened next was a shocker to me. She stands up...walks to Jeremy...starts crying (just turned on the tears) and then slaps me....ME! What the fuck did I do. She tells him that they need to talk and that she wants me out of the house. So my friend told me to leave. My best friend of 15 years tells me to leave his apartment. So I did. He called me 2 days later, saying that I did a horrible thing and that he just wanted to let me know that he wasn't gay, that he had a girlfriend right now and that he never wanted to see me again.

As of today it's been 1 year and 3 months since that night. I heard that there getting married and both of them are moving to Kitchener here in Ontario. I'm a big believer in Karma so I wish them the best of luck...yet I secretly hope that after he's had 2 or 3 kids he finally admits to himself that he is gay. Still pissed that she slapped me! What did I do? I didn't know he was dating her at the time

Oh well, thanks to this crazy fucking relationship...I just can't get close to anybody anymore...I never know when they turn on me....kindof pathatic I know but your story really hit me Alive and Free. Cause for awhile there...I thought I was the only one this kindof thing has happened to!

Thanks for sharing your story! Gives me some hope.

She is also the one who outed me to my close friends (5 of them) of the five only 2 still talk to me....the others think what I did was just horrible and that I'm going to hell for it. But like i said it's in the past right. No sense crying over spilled milk....just clean it up and move on.

The other thing is he says he's 100% straight and only allowed it to happen because it was a release. He linked it to like guys in prison. But what do I know. All I do know is why did I spend 15 years making a friendship with a guy who basically stopped talking to me and hanging out with me as soon as he got a girlfriend...that's what really hurts.

***********

I don't need pity guys. This is more of an information post to help others!!

 

[Horschallen]

Your friend needed an excuse to explain his past sexual desires and his girlfriend was just irrational for getting pissed off at you. I hope you find someone else much more deserving of you than him.

 

[screwnutty]

Your friend needed an excuse to explain his past sexual desires and his girlfriend was just irrational for getting pissed off at you. I hope you find someone else much more deserving of you than him.

Thanks Horschallen! I'm sure in time I will find somebody who can overlook my David Tennant/Doctor Who fetish and accept me for the person that I am!

 

[M4P]

I really feel for the people guys like your friend drag into their lives. He messed you up and eventually he's going to mess up a woman. Let's hope at least one of them is sterile so he doesn't have any kids to mess up as well

I'm really sorry for what happened to you and truly hope that in time you can move on. I also hope you never allow him back into your life

With friends like him who needs enemies

 

[xXblatinoXx]

Well the only thing I can say is karma`s a bitch -- and hopefully life comes to kick him in the nuts [really hard] sometime soon. That proves how much of a true friend he really was. I must commend you for being so peaceful cuz if I were in your shoes, I would have choked the shit outta that bitch for slapping me and then I woulda beat the brakes off of my bestfriend for telling her that bullshit story AND allowing her to slap me in the face. Then I probably would have gotten arrested but hey -- It would have been worth it.

 

[FunDude]

Your friend allowed it to happen. He isn't 100% hetero. And he hasn't heard the old addage.. Bros before hos. And judging from that story, I think theres some insecurity in the relationship.. Your friend says he isnt gay, yet she still slapped you.. I dont think she believed him when he said that, and I think she saw you as competition..

On the bright side.. It is a compliment in a way.. On the downside.. Your friend totally sucks at the moment. :/

 

[sixthson]

Maybe he IS straight. Stranger things have happened, you know? You began experimenting fairly early in life and it carried on for a number of years. He may never come to you and confess that he has made a terrible mistake because he really is gay, but I think he will realize one day how much he misses your friendship. I think it is obvious, from what you wrote, that he cared about you. I bet he misses you even now.
What seems really stupid was the way he confessed to his gf, putting you on the spot. If he felt it necessary to reveal all about his sexual past to her, he should have done it in private and kept you out of it. Now she hates you and is punishing you when she is really upset with him. It's easier to blame you, I guess. He should have come to you privately and told you it was over because he loved her. I'm sure you would have understood.
It doesn't sound like you hate him and that is healthy and mature. I'm sorry it is caused you problems with other relationships, however. He broke trust with you, but you can't let that damage you for life. There are trustworthy guys out there.

 

[screwnutty]

thanks guys for all your support! Like I said...A fellow jubber told me to share my story with the forum and I hope that it stops some young poster from doing the same thing I did.

As for ever talking to him again...i doubt it. As I told another fellow Jub when he told me I should make contact with him and just say hi. I told him that was impossible. Because my mom passed away this year (febuary) of heart failure. We spend our highschool summers hanging out at my place or his place (eating sleeping over etc) all summer...we knew each other's family and extended family. We were like brothers from different mothers. I don't know if ppl suspected things nor do I care...but I can tell you this much...it was hard enough having to be at my mom's wake, meeting her friends and family and them asking where Jeremy was!! So i told them flat out that he was with his new girlfriend and that I had not seen him in at least a year and half. later in the night one of our best friends (who remains neutral and hangs out with both of us and is really great guy) told me that Jeremy sends his regrets. Well I lost it and pulled mat into the funeral director's office (the director told us we could use his office for private conversations etc.) and I just told mat to tell that son of a bitch that I hope fucking pussy is totally worth it cause as far as I'm concerned. He's dead to me. and I told mat to tell him that I lost a great friend that night. I don't hate him....I've stopped that about 8 months ago. Just we can't go back to like it was if she ever leaves him. We can never be friends again... But I don't think I have to worry about that. Rumour has it that he's getting married to her and that he's leaving his good paying government job here in town to move with her three hours away to the big city so that she can follow her dream job as a restorer of artifacts at a local museum. Plus she hates Goderich and wants to move to a place where things happen and there's lots of bars and dances to go too! Oh did I mention she's 24 and he's 31 like me. Not that age has anything to do with love but he never when to bars with me when we were 19 and it was legal to drink!! All of a sudden now he's out with her every weekend partying it up! It's just weird!

oh well. At least I got David Tennant too look at every Saturday night on BBC one!

 

[Aflute04]

Want me to beat him up?! I'll do it! Better yet, I'll beat both of them up. Bitches!

 

[rareboy]

The lesson here is that if your 'friends' aren't returning favours, you're a fool to be giving them.

The best revenge? They're marrying each other. They are going to live in that shithole Kitchener and best of all, they're going to have a lifetime of hurt and doubt and treating one another the way they treated you.

Cool. You don't even have to wait for Karma.

 

[screwnutty]

The lesson here is that if your 'friends' aren't returning favours, you're a fool to be giving them.

I was a fool. I was also young and stupid when this whole event started. I could have sugar coated my story. But these were/are the cold hard facts. Yes he enjoyed it. Yes he told me it felt good and yes he even started it on most occasions. I was confused and I was in denial for a long time thinking the same way has he is (well I'll never really know for sure what he was thinking!) that this was just some personal fun until we found girlfriends!

But life is funny...just when you think you have it all planned out.....she throws you a curveball. I began accepting myself that I was gay and he began building closets in a closet (sorry for the metaphor guys) Basically I do know this. Jeremy is so far in the closet that he's found Narnia.

The best revenge? They're marrying each other. They are going to live in that shithole Kitchener and best of all, they're going to have a lifetime of hurt and doubt and treating one another the way they treated you.

Cool. You don't even have to wait for Karma.

lol....nah as much as I (well I can't call this feeling hate, or angry) I don't know what I'm feeling to tell you the truth...maybe someday I figure it out. But for right now I hope that they do get married, I hope they do move to Kitchener (that's in Ontario Canada just incase there's a Kitchener in the UK!) I hope that they buy that dream house and have those 2.5 kids that they both want. I want nothing but the best for them! Then I want to watch it all come crashing down. I want to see her turn on him and rip out his fucking heart like he did to me. I want to to turn like that Johnny Cash song called "Hurt" where he has nothing left but his empire of dirt.

There's just one thing that I don't want to happen....or I'd feel really really bad for. That's any offspring that comes out of this marriage. It's not their fault. They didn't ask for this to happen. So my wish has a double edge sword.

So I'm conflicted and the best way to deal with it is not to think about it anymore and to concentrate on other stuff in my life.

 

[screwnutty]

It is a shame that friends grow apart. They are hard to replace and it is difficult to make new habits with new friends. I am sure that your heart hurt for a long time and certainly he must hurt too. If his marriage should ever fall apart and he comes to visit do not comfort him with sex. She would accuse you forever of breaking up their marriage. And even if he begs and apologizes or even admits that he is gay he should have to give the first blowjob because everything should be reciprical in such a long term sexual friendship. Otherwise you are just a cocksucker for some guy too lazy to masturbate alone. You have learned things the harsh way. I dont blame you for being cautious but if love may come your way. You deserve it. So dont cheat yourself out of it because of fearing the past.

Hey Yummers!

Yes it is a shame that friends grow apart but that's life. It happens. Yes they are very hard to replace. There like an extreme rare one of a kind painting. All my friends are special in there own way and neither two are ever alike so yeah I do miss him somewhat....however the darkside feelings of him that I have out weight the goodside feelings.

We are not going to see each other ever again. Period. We live in a small town (pop: 7500) and we don't see each other. He doesn't come around the old haunts anymore and he doesn't hang out with our old friends either (well just one but they only drop by in a blue moon) All his free time is spent with her. They even work together at the same museum here in Town. Course he works for the county (7th in command) but the offices for the county are located inside the museum (long story)

So he spends work with her...he spends free time with her.....I would have started pulling out my hair by now cause no matter how much you love somebody...you still need time to yourself. But I guess he's pussy whipped. That's no way to live your life but hey I'm not qualified to judge his life and his choices.


As for the love thing. meh! If it happens it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. I don't need a boyfriend in my life to be happy (though somedays I wish I had one) but alas that my friend is a story for another thread!

 

[screwnutty]

Want me to beat him up?! I'll do it! Better yet, I'll beat both of them up. Bitches!

lol! Thanks aflute04 for the offer but I think life will eventually do the job for me. If he even remotely enjoyed what we did...it will start to eat away at him and he will become one of those married straight guys that need dick on the side (not that there's anything wrong with that) but knowing him...he'd hate himself and that's revenge enough for me.

I'm sad I know guys cause I'm coming off sounding mean and I'm not like this in real life! This was just a really really bad storm in the sea of life and like any good sea captain....I never forget how close I came to sinking that day!

TIme heals all wounds. So to all the others out there that are going through this or have had this happen to them, I just want to say this...it does get better. You make new friends. Your life changes for sure but then that's what life is all about. Changes....otherwise it becomes a rut and ruts are boring. Anyways you are not alone. You have no reason to give up. The other guy just isn't worth it! If your reading this and your scared to post in this thread. Then PM me. I here to answer any questions that you have or to just listen to you get it off your chest!

 

[screwnutty]

WOW, never mind what the GIRL did (the slap), what about what your so called "friend" did!!!!! He SET YOU UP!

He called you over and SET YOU UP for the most horrible humiliation!

This was unbelievably cruel and weird of him. And the girl slapping you? And outing you to friends? She sounds like she's got a LOT of frustration that she doesn't know where to direct it.

If she outed you to your friends, what did she say to them? That you blew her fiancee for years but that he is not gay, you are?

Dude, consider yourself LUCKY to be RID OF BOTH OF THESE WEIRD individuals.

Your friend is furious with himself for being gay or at least bi. And he's got to blame it on somebody.

Sorry it was you. I also think it's unfair that you say you learned a "lesson." As if you did something wrong. You did nothing wrong! You did what HE WANTED. What's the lesson? Don't have sex with somebody?

The only lesson I see is that you learned that some people are so weak that they will lash out at you.

In time, he will see the light.

Congratulations on being rid of these people.

Hello Alabama79!

Yes he did set me up. That's what I will never be able to forget. But I did hear and interesting their from a mutual friend of ours. Apparently he wanted it to turn out something like the ending for chasing amy movie. Where he could be upfront with both of us and to show me that he really loved his girlfriend etc. etc. but it didn't work out that way...ahhhhh I wonder why Jeremy...Jesus, Heaven have no fury like a woman scorned (or so they say!!)

As for her telling our friends (at least the ones that don't speak to me anymore) well these so called friends where somewhat religious and view Homosexuality as a disease and that it's disgusting and that were going to hell for it. Had Jeremy not done what he had done I would have vented them myself just because of their views. As for what she was telling them....well apparently she leaves out the sucked dick part. She just tells them that I'm gay and that I was trying to seduce Jeremy and convert him. You know cause that's all we gay guys do is go around converting straight guys!

As I stated before I still have two friends that we both use to have and of the two one doesn't even talk to him cause he thinks he's a fucking asshole and I did have to buy him a beer afterwords cause he said. "See I've been telling you since grade 10! Jeremy was a fucking asshole and why were you hanging out with him. You owe me a beer! with a smile he said"

So I bought him a beer and told him the whole story (cause he wanted to hear it...just avoid the graphic parts he said)" He's a good guy and I don't get to see him much cause he has a girlfriend now and works 12 hour shifts and such. But we do try to hang out when we can!

As for the other friend...well he's stayed neutral and he's the source of my information. He's also a hopeless romantic and hopes that Jeremy can see the light and come back. He even said that he doesn't think that Jeremy is 100% straight cause most guys...granted might give it a try here and there...but since grade 10!! wow...that's no longer a scientific experiment...that's a lifestyle choice he says! He's a funny guy. He also walked in on us one time when we all went camping. So he tells me he just laughs when Mary talks about me. As for Jeremy he says...he doesn't say to words about me or even asks how I'm doing. He won't even look at Mat when Mat tells him what been going on in my life or what we do when Mat hangs out with me.

So it's good to know that he's living with shame.

 

[Kigan2006]

Sounds like he has built himself up a life inside a house of cards. Sooner or later it will come crashing down on his head.

My best friend, fortunately, is completely straight and we will never get into a situation like that. Not only that, but he doesn't even mind when I compliment him on his looks. He knows that it doesn't mean anything like I want a relationship, and I consider myself very fortunate that he understands that. He also understands that friends come first, and there is a problem if his girl is trying to push the friends away. It is too bad your friend didn't and still doesn't understand that. But he will get what is coming to him.

He has things he doesn't want to admit about himself, and from what I see, he may have set that night up to push you away so he wouldn't have to admit them.(or so he thinks)

This probably turned out better for you, as you were able to see who the true friends are and who is either just using you or will turn on you. I'm sorry you had to learn about this the hard way though.

 

[TJBill]

WOW, never mind what the GIRL did (the slap), what about what your so called "friend" did!!!!! He SET YOU UP!

He called you over and SET YOU UP for the most horrible humiliation!

This was unbelievably cruel and weird of him. And the girl slapping you? And outing you to friends? She sounds like she's got a LOT of frustration that she doesn't know where to direct it.

If she outed you to your friends, what did she say to them? That you blew her fiancee for years but that he is not gay, you are?

Dude, consider yourself LUCKY to be RID OF BOTH OF THESE WEIRD individuals.

Your friend is furious with himself for being gay or at least bi. And he's got to blame it on somebody.

Sorry it was you. I also think it's unfair that you say you learned a "lesson." As if you did something wrong. You did nothing wrong! You did what HE WANTED. What's the lesson? Don't have sex with somebody?

The only lesson I see is that you learned that some people are so weak that they will lash out at you.

In time, he will see the light.

Congratulations on being rid of these people.

Well, I think Alabama said it all. But I just have to add my 2 cents.... It's just incredible how much of a jerk your 'ex-friend' was/is. I mean, the two of you are friends for like 15 years and he pulls that shit on you! Totally selfish and narcissistic - all about him.

I'm with everyone else here - you did nothing wrong. Even if he's weirded out about his sexual relationship with you, he went way over the line and there's no excuse. I think an enemy would think twice before doing something like he did.

And while it does suck to lose friends, especially long term ones, this really is for the best. I wouldn't want this guy as an acquaintance, let alone a friend.

Well, anyway, good luck, man.

 

[Riverrick]

Hey Screwnutty, I'm glad to see you made a thread out of your tale. The first time I read your story I was a little shocked that a regular contributor here suddenly mentioned something so painful happening to him. I had a feeling you might benefit from airing it out more completely and its looks like that might be right.

The thing that strikes me most about this thread is how deeply you've been hurt and how much of that hurt is still bottled up inside. That makes me feel sad, because I want you to be able to let it all out, cry about it, scream about it, and eventually move past it. I want that hurt to lose its energy and not sting you any more.

I can tell you loved him very much.

And I can tell you felt like your life and love and bearings in this world were pulled out from under you by him that day. I can only imagine what that did to your self respect and to your estimate of your own worth. Because if we were worth anything, then how could someone who loves us treat us like that and leave us? That's how it feels. I know.

I wish you well. Just starting this thread is an important step I think in moving on.

 

[screwnutty]

Sounds like he has built himself up a life inside a house of cards. Sooner or later it will come crashing down on his head.

He has things he doesn't want to admit about himself, and from what I see, he may have set that night up to push you away so he wouldn't have to admit them.(or so he thinks)

I'm sorry you had to learn about this the hard way though.

Hey Kigan2006! Thanks for your feedback! Yeah he has built a little house of cards hasn't he. I honestly don't know what to think about him...I mean regarding the whole situation even before she became involved. I mean I don't know...we never talked about it. It was like we just ignored the elephant in the room so to speak. I mean I never found girls interesting growing up and he never got one until now. So well it's just weird. One of my new friends well she said that maybe he was scared. Maybe he was starting to fall for you. I don't know. We never talked about it at all. Let's just say that he is 100% straight. Why would a straight guy do the stuff we did for 15 years? We did everything together...travelled to the US. Hit the comic conventions etc. oh well it's behind me and that is that...I mean there are somethings that will never be explained!

Yeah I did learn a hard lesson! That's why I followed riverrick's advice, I'm hoping that right now there's a gay or bi 18-24 year old girl or guy reading my story and going wow...I'm not alone. I'm not the only one this has happened too. Or at least make them think twice before they do anything with their best friend!

 

[screwnutty]

Well, I think Alabama said it all. But I just have to add my 2 cents.... It's just incredible how much of a jerk your 'ex-friend' was/is. I mean, the two of you are friends for like 15 years and he pulls that shit on you! Totally selfish and narcissistic - all about him.

I'm with everyone else here - you did nothing wrong. Even if he's weirded out about his sexual relationship with you, he went way over the line and there's no excuse. I think an enemy would think twice before doing something like he did.

And while it does suck to lose friends, especially long term ones, this really is for the best. I wouldn't want this guy as an acquaintance, let alone a friend.

Well, anyway, good luck, man.

Thank you TJbill! yes for awhile there I thought maybe it was something I did. But no it's also his fault!

 

[screwnutty]

Hey Screwnutty, I'm glad to see you made a thread out of your tale. The first time I read your story I was a little shocked that a regular contributor here suddenly mentioned something so painful happening to him. I had a feeling you might benefit from airing it out more completely and its looks like that might be right.

The thing that strikes me most about this thread is how deeply you've been hurt and how much of that hurt is still bottled up inside. That makes me feel sad, because I want you to be able to let it all out, cry about it, scream about it, and eventually move past it. I want that hurt to lose its energy and not sting you any more.

I can tell you loved him very much.

And I can tell you felt like your life and love and bearings in this world were pulled out from under you by him that day. I can only imagine what that did to your self respect and to your estimate of your own worth. Because if we were worth anything, then how could someone who loves us treat us like that and leave us? That's how it feels. I know.

I wish you well. Just starting this thread is an important step I think in moving on.

Riverrick. Your right. Reading your post did make me teary eyed. Yes I can admit that I loved him very much. I loved him so much that it still hurts that he's not hanging out with me on the weekends. It still hurts when watch Clue the movie (a movie that both of us loved to death! We split the cost on the vhs copy...which was expensive back at the time in the 80's...you know back when we had to rent VCR'S!! We watched it so many times that we broke the tape!

We use to fight about (play fight ) who had the better team...the jays or the indians. Same with hockey, the leafs or the devils...


So when you love somebody so much that it hurts when your seperated...I mean he was part of my universe. I'd like to hope that I was a part of his. Then the sun when super nova......black hole. Sucked everything from me. Literally the rug was pulled from my feet. This girl that was just a friend, was more then a friend. He was fucking her....I should have seen the signs.

Oh well....I hope he's happy. I hope he gives his parents the grand kids they so desperately want. I hope he loves living under her control. I hope he loves living the straight life. I hope that pussy was worth 15 years of friendship...forget about everything else that happened. I hope she so good in the sack that he forgets about me, forgets about the guy who saved his life on that camping trip one day, the guy who stayed up with all night when he had a bad case of the flu in college.

well she how long she puts up with his geekyness, his need to have the latest tech toys.

Sure...I'm hurt and maybe a little bit bitter. But I'm free. He however has to live with a girl.....knowing that his best friend in the world sucked his dick. A secret that will never go away. I know it must eat away at him. Because it use to do the same to me. That's why he will never speak to me again....can't risk remembering the good times we had!