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advise...what would you do?

B

bryan2710

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Hey,
So dont want to get into details but Im sure you guys would love to hear them...
But anyway have a close buddy, and we had fun as kids...lots of just two kids getting off.
used to play cards, etc, you know what I mean...
Anyway,
we still hang, both married, but I sorta know when we are together we both think about those hot times as kids, but never ever say or discuss it.
Especially lately we have been playing golf fo $$.
We used to play cards for $$ as kids then made dare bets and more you know.
Well there is that closeness (I think) we still have/want from each other there...I just think I feel it.
Today I kicked his butt in golf and he owed me $$.
Didnt make him pay, but he mentioned we make it a carry over to next round.
Anyway when we were kids thats how the fun started.
I was so tempted like saying when we went double or nothing"," yeah how bout loser has to do other dude like when we were kids? Just saying it sorta kidding and stuff. But too freeken scared to say it!
btw, our legs were touching during the whole time, and you guys sorta know what im saying when you sorta know when two dudes on on same page.
Anyway I would of loved to press the bet even more like when we were kids, just chickened out about saying anything even tho I know he might of been thinking same thing and said "your on!'.
Shoot I thinking how could he not of been thinking it?
Seems we are both too chicken to suggest anything, but have a really strong feeling he feels same way as I do.
Suggestions on how to come on stronger without going over the line?
 
from reading this i would definitely say that you are in love with each other and may not know how to express it, so you are using your past for guidance.

i cant really give advice on how to come on stronger, but i wouldn't worry about being delicate. if there is something you enjoy doing with him, why not do it?

this seems unreal, because it sounds like a really hot story to be honest lol
 
Wow. That's so strange. Maybe you both should have come out instead of getting married.
 
Just come out with it the next time you are going to make a bet.

As in "Double or nothing or the loser has to blow the winner"

Oh. And then get ready for your lives to spin out of control if you start cheating on your wives and children with your vbf.
 
Should I be the party-pooper and mention that if you have the least amount of respect for your wive and your best friend's wive and children (if there are any) you shouldn't pursue this?
 
soiram said:
Should I be the party-pooper and mention that if you have the least amount of respect for your wive and your best friend's wive and children (if there are any) you shouldn't pursue this?
Click to expand...

Thats probably why we both have not acted on the past. But it doesnt also mean we dont have the same thoughts. Im pretty sure as I do, he does.

Im a little too scared to suggest anything just for that reason, but I know it exists and would never do anything that might ruin our friendship or hurt family.

Guess the only way it will happen if he pushes the bet. Then take it from there.

Wish I could make the most discreet comment about the betting, but pretty hard to beat under the bush. (no punn intended)(lol)

Oh and btw, evanrick, it was hot!

saymyname said:
Wow. That's so strange. Maybe you both should have come out instead of getting married.
Click to expand...

Just in case you dont know, there are zillions of us!.....bimm's!
 
For myself I must stay honest and keep my integrity in dealing with everyone in my life. This means saying what I mean and meaning what I say, including making my needs/wants clear in a kind (and hopefully well-received) way.

So, if I were in your shoes, I would have to be clear about my wish for more male company/physicality with my 'friend', and that would mean telling my current partner (or your wife in your story) that I was interested in possibly exploring other options. Once that was out of the way I'd simply tell my 'friend' what I wanted, again in a kind and hopefully well-received way.

Any way you slice this it is a potentially large can of worms involving unresolved issues from your (shared) past. It is never too late to begin, and nothing is ever solved or resolved by ignoring it.

Good luck :-)
 
I know this post is not going to make me friends here, but if you're both, you both love your wives, family, etc., so, not likely to do anything stupid that would make you break up with your wives, then why not do it? I'm not a believer in "what they don't know WILL hurt them" (after all, that's just illogical, romantic BS). Nor do I believe that "you WILL be found out", because, again, that simply isn't true.

I say, just do it, but be EXTREMELY careful. If no-one else finds out, you've only got so much enjoyment to gain! I'm sure both of your wives would benefit from having happier husbands...
 
i dont see why you would want to say with your wife if there are no children involved.
 
A lot of bi men are married and really love their wives (whether or not they have children). I know your first thought would be "well, he wouldn't want to cheat on her, then!". Thing is, with bi people (and we are all different, btw, so I can't speak for everyone), it doesn't feel like cheating. Imagine, a gay man who's told by some religious fanatic that what he's doing is evil, wrong, etc., and so must have a girlfriend and pretend to be straight. It's hard (almost impossible) for a gay man to just 'ignore' other men.

It's kinda like that for some bi people - they have a relationship with someone of one sex (and happily), but he/she can't just 'ignore' his/her feelings towards an entire gender. And, what's worse, due to the way society is, a lot of our s/o's don't understand, and so it has to be done in secret. Like gay men 40yrs ago...

So, they're with their wives probably because they love them. Being bi, or wanting to mess around with each other, does not make a jot of difference to that...
 
And, what's worse, due to the way society is, a lot of our s/o's don't understand, and so it has to be done in secret.
Click to expand...

What a load of

There are a lot of straight guys who love their wives and children and would still like another piece of tail on the side. So they'll have hookers or mistresses, but they'll still swear they love their wives and children.

There are those who fantasize, but understand that to betray their wives by fucking some easy piece of skank would be wrong. That it would destroy the trust in their relationship and demolish their integrity as a human being.
So they remain faithful.

Don't make excuses that just because a significant other might just cut your balls off because you were cheating with some cock instead of some pussy that it is somehow okay.

It ain't. If you want to have other partners, you've got to get the agreement of the other party to the contract.
 
You see that's the kinda attitude I meant!

Would you feel differently if it were a gay forced into a marriage with a woman and met up with other men?
 
RobUK2 said:
You see that's the kinda attitude I meant!

Would you feel differently if it were a gay forced into a marriage with a woman and met up with other men?
Click to expand...

What does this have to do with anything? I agree with rareboy. Independent of whether you're straight, bi, or gay, when you make a commitment, you are bound to that. Committing yourself to a person (in your case your wife) means that you love the person, not its gender. If your wife is not enough for you, then you should reconsider your relationship to her and either expand it (with her consent) or abolish it all together and look for that that will fulfill your needs. But please don't use your sexual orientation as an argument for cheating on (and ultimately betraying) another human being![-X

By the way, I'm assuming that no one forced you to marry your wife, right?
 
Sexuality has nothing to do with if you're in an open relationship or not. That's like saying if I'm in a relationship with a bear, and it's decidedly monogamous, I have the right to cheat on him with a twink, because I can't just ignore my feelings for an entire different aesthetic of the male gender! I agree with rareboy.
 
Would you feel differently if it were a gay forced into a marriage with a woman and met up with other men?
Click to expand...

Uh.

And where in the western world would gay men be forced to marry a woman versus staying single?
 
Jeez,
what a can of worms I opened!
Whats the difference between some married dude going to like vegas, getting his rocks off with a (lets just say) another interest...
...happens all the time, and then some.
then they go home to their wife's like nothing happened.
Tiger Woods comes to mind.
Look at the babe he married!
I like dudes but shoot would kill to do his wife!!!!
Bottom line here going off topic....
Ya know I wanna, I think he wanna, decided next time when he or I loses just say somthing like....
your lucky (or Im ) lucky were not playing for same stakes when we were kids... see where it goes....
Gay dudes are in a different world then bi dudes (imho)
 
Jeez,
what a can of worms I opened!
Whats the difference between some married dude going to like vegas, getting his rocks off with a (lets just say) another interest...
...happens all the time, and then some.
then they go home to their wife's like nothing happened.
Tiger Woods comes to mind. But he was to say the least less than discreet. Actually he was pretty stupid!
Look at the babe he married!
I like a dude now and then, but shoot would kill to do his wife!!!!
Bottom line here going off topic....
I think he knows I wanna, I think he does too.
If I get the balls, next time when he or I loses just say somthing like....
your lucky (or Im ) lucky were not playing for same stakes when we were kids... see where it goes....
Gay dudes are in a different world then us bi dudes (imho)
Lots and lots of married dudes get off wtih others....
we all hear it! Its just the gender that seems to cause all the b.s.
just keep it safe!
Btw, if you guys wanna keep debating subject its cool, we all have our own opinions about the topic.
Whats right or wrong is a matter of personal choice and subjective opinion, sorta like your own religion.
 
Jeez,
what a can of worms I opened!
Whats the difference between some married dude going to like vegas, getting his rocks off with a (lets just say) another interest...
...happens all the time, and then some.
then they go home to their wife's like nothing happened.
Tiger Woods comes to mind. But he was to say the least less than discreet. Actually he was pretty stupid!
Look at the babe he married!
I like a dude now and then, but shoot would kill to do his wife!!!!
Bottom line here going off topic....
I think he knows I wanna, I think he does too.
If I get the balls, next time when he or I loses just say somthing like....
your lucky (or Im ) lucky were not playing for same stakes when we were kids... see where it goes....
Gay dudes are in a different world then us bi dudes (imho)
Lots and lots of married dudes get off wtih others....
we all hear it! Its just the gender that seems to cause all the b.s.
just keep it safe!
Btw, if you guys wanna keep debating subject its cool, we all have our own opinions about the topic.
Whats right or wrong is a matter of personal choice and subjective opinion, sorta like your own religion.
Bottom line, I feel sometime you gay dudes just feel like you gotta come out and march down Main Street.
There's tons of us dudes who are happy being bimm and like the lifestyle but still wanna get off with another dude (or babe)
To each his own!
 
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