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Am I a horrible person for not being attracted to much older men?

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Angel2

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I'm 24 and I do seem to get hit on by older guys. By that, I mean guys in their 40s and 50s (aka guys that are old enough to be my father)

I do respectfully turn them away, but it's like every time I do, I'm given a huge amount of grief over it. Regardless of how nicely I decline their attempts to court me, they get either angry or overly sad.

I do understand that not many people can take rejection all too well (and I'm one of them) but is it right that I'm made out to be this horrid, shallow person when I reject these guys?

I know I should have thicker skin, but I can't help but feel a little bad anytime this happens.
 
^ditto.
 
No, you definitely shouldn´t say no and fuck everything that comes to you :lol:

Seriously now, you are attracted to what you are attracted, period. You don´t even have to say sorry, but it´s polite to do so. I´m a chaser in the bear scene, but somehow I´m more attracted to the character, rather than looks, so when I talked with someone who wasn´t attractive based on what a bear or a daddy should look like, they used to tell me they didn´t think I would speak to them (or reply, if on the internet); I can only assume that they were rejected times before which led to a low self-esteem and, therefore, them getting angry or sad.

It´s udnerstandable, you would get a bit sad too if Price Charming would say no to you, hehe.

edit: Also, some show sadness, in order to make you change your mind. As a general rule and based on experience, them older folks can be tricky :mrgreen:
 
In my experience, guys in their 40s and 50s who would hit on a kid in his early 20s are almost exclusively creepers. Who cares if they get angry?

Of course, even worse are the guys who are in their 40s and 50s and pretend to be younger online to get to younger guys.
 
It's give and take. You have a right to your preferences when it comes to age. I like older guys, but I do have age limits depending on the individual. If they have the right to hit on guys much younger than them, then younger guys have the right to decline their advances. There are plenty of other younger guys out there that are into far older men. Nobody should be giving you grief for not feeling mutually attracted.
 
i also tend to attract much older guys, for whatever reason.
no, youre not a horrible person.

if they approach you in a respectful manner, just turn them down in a clear and polite way. theyll understand. and if they react badly, its really their problem, not yours.

if they approach you in a rude or creepy manner, then dont think twice about slamming the door in thir faces, figuratively speaking.

and please dont have sex with men youre not attracted to, for whatever reason.
i had sex with them maybe once or twice, because i was horny, insecure about how desirable i was, and they seemed to be the only ones interested at the time. it didnt make me feel better.
 
Interesting as I'm not much interested in guys under 35.
 
I think often times their reactions are more a way of manipulating you, trying to guilt you into giving them what they want.

When i was your age it was my observation that those guys would blanket out hundreds of offers in hopes of getting 1-2 bites. Believe me, those guys are plenty used to rejection. ... and even if not, if you're not interested you're not interested. Be the bigger man, thank them for the interest and be firm and polite in your rejection. The predators will know if you're wavering and just keep at you until you give in.
 
Are you saying this is unique to older guys, or don't any guys in the age bracket you desire not hit on you? Because certain people act like drama queen douche bags no matter what age. A 26 yr old guy that you might turn down could react the same way. Once you politely say no if they keep bugging you tell them to fuck off.
 
vulgar_newcomer said:
Are you saying this is unique to older guys, or don't any guys in the age bracket you desire not hit on you? Because certain people act like drama queen douche bags no matter what age. A 26 yr old guy that you might turn down could react the same way. Once you politely say no if they keep bugging you tell them to fuck off.
Click to expand...

I'm not saying this is unique to older guys as some guys in my age bracket have hit on me and I have turned them down politely even if they came on a little strong. Sorry if it came off that way.

It's mostly because in the past few weeks, I've dealt with older guys being interested in me. I have no problem with older guys per se, I just prefer to have a guy closer to my age. Someone I can identify with because most older guys aren't into the same things that I am.
 
it perefectly fine not to be attracted to older men. I get hit on by older man alot. My parents are still relatively young the are in their mind forties. To be with someone who is their age or older to me is like being with my father and i just cant do it.
 
As long as you politely decline then you shouldn't feel guilty. People can't help who they're attracted so you don't feel bad on that regard. If you're nice and civil then it's fine.
 
I went on a date with a 41 year-old [26 here] recently and he was shocked I agreed to the date. He was a nice guy and we got along well but he kept treating me like a little kid and degrading himself based on his age. It was very disappointing to say the least that he couldn't get past age and just enjoy himself. I know the main reason that big age gaps don't tend to work well is the whole "different life stages" thing but to each their own.

Yeah, there are some pervy older men that like hitting on young guys and you can gladly reject their advances. Same can be said for almost anyone you find creepy or unattractive. If I find their profile interesting or them attractive, I don't mind taking a chance on them. I think for me, a lot of my associates are older than me by 10+ years, so I am used to casually talking with them which helped break down my barriers on being stuck on an age number.
 
No I don't think it's a problem that you aren't attracted to men twice your age. Some people are into that and some aren't. It's your preference and I think the good thing is that you actually feel bad for turning them down even though you're not attracted to them. That's life really. Stuff like this happens. Keep doing it in a way not meant to be hurtful. That's all you can do.
 
If it is a hookup site, it is not rude not to respond.
Hence save both parties times.
 
I'm in my forties.

The guys my age who flip out because you youngsters won't sleep with them anymore are the guys who are, themselves, fixated on youth and the idea of themselves as young.

Sleep with who you want -- you don't owe anybody your cock.
 
You're just not attracted to older guys, plain and simple. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for your personal preferences.
 
I am trying to picture a universe where guys are good at introducing themselves, and are totally socially appropriate in their 20s, but then they hit their 40's or 50's and suddenly become single jerks who get totally pissy when they introduce themselves in an awkward way and get rejected.

I can't.

So I'm guessing the middle aged guys who are bad at dating now were bad at dating then. You are not seeing "inappropriate old guys." You are seeing "inappropriate young guys" who just got old and never figured out how to put their best foot forward, or how to handle rejection. They were probably always this bad at it.

And I'm guessing the middle-aged guys who you would actually be willing to speak with even if you weren't interested other than as friends, are probably not out there every night hitting on you, because they probably already managed to find someone years ago. Of course there are also shy guys who waited a long time to come out, and guys who lost the love of their lives and are starting over. They are also likely to be respectful, won't give you a hard time if you are not interested, and are probably interesting enough to share a beer with even as friends.
 
maxpowr9 said:
I went on a date with a 41 year-old [26 here] recently and he was shocked I agreed to the date. He was a nice guy and we got along well but he kept treating me like a little kid and degrading himself based on his age. It was very disappointing to say the least that he couldn't get past age and just enjoy himself. I know the main reason that big age gaps don't tend to work well is the whole "different life stages" thing but to each their own.

Yeah, there are some pervy older men that like hitting on young guys and you can gladly reject their advances. Same can be said for almost anyone you find creepy or unattractive. If I find their profile interesting or them attractive, I don't mind taking a chance on them. I think for me, a lot of my associates are older than me by 10+ years, so I am used to casually talking with them which helped break down my barriers on being stuck on an age number.
Click to expand...

I dated a 55 yr old. and we've seen each other a few times but somehow we lost contact with each other. was it my fault? i dunno. but i honestly want to see him again :(
 
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