am I seriously the only one? -_-

[kindabikindagay]

OP as you can see you are not the only one........... I bet you feel better now

I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..

 

[kindabikindagay]

That must be pretty rare air up there on your high horses that you are so quick to judge others without much knowledge of a situation, wiser and perfect people that you must be.

Didn't you mamas teach you that while you have one finger pointed at someone you have three pointed back at yourselves?

um what circumstances make it okay? "oh nobody would accept me for being gay" boo fucking hoo that doesn't give you the right to do that to the person you're cheating on.. make it look like you're single if that's the issue.. also.. side note.. idk about other people but when I point my finger at someone, the other three curl upward to my palm.. I find it oddly uncomfortable to point them back at myself.. so that's me being childish '3'

 

[HunterM]

I watched a documentary on polyamory...involving 2 straight married couples living in the same house. They would have sex as a group and with each other's partner privately as well. One night, husband A was horny. He slipped out of the bedroom while his wife (wife A) was sleeping. He walks into the other couple's bedroom and has a threesome with the other couple. Everyone was happy...until the next day.

Wife A finds out what happened. Then all hell break loose. Wife A is emotionally distraught and accuses her husband of cheating because he didn't have her permission in advance (for that one time) to have sex with the other couple (which they all had sex with together and separately - switching partners - often). She accuses the other couple of helping her husband to cheat. Couple B explain they didn't know husband A didn't have his wife's permission to have sex for that one encounter. That's why they welcomed him to join them in bed. Couple B also accuse husband A of cheating. But they are quick to forgive him.

It was an interesting insight into this particular Polyamory.

 

[TheLyingGame]

Nope. Cheaters are disgusting.

 

[eastofeden]

I do O:3 tbh this thread was mainly my sneaky way of finding out if I can fight for the person being cheated on or not.. even if it's not any of my business it's still wrong.. it's bad and people should feel bad. lol I mean why the hell are we fighting for gay marriage if the entire concept of marriage means so little to people..

...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavoir practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

 

[blackbeltninja]

Ive said this before, I only see this in the Straight and Bi section and its always the same couple of people that are commenting and making these threads. Ive seen cheaters get blasted over and over again in every other section.

Can you link us to some of these threads ?

Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

-d-

 

[MissAnne]

Er... some of us have the decency to blast cheaters over in Straight/Bisexual too, you know. Dark place that it is, and all.

-d-

Er...I said that.

A lot of people seemed to enjoy his stories. There was a lot of "tell me more, tell me more" over there, but Id say that most people were kind of disgusted with him.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Ah, so you did.

My bad.


-d-

 

[kindabikindagay]

...and why are you defining marriage for anyone but yourself or qualifying anyone else's relationship except your own? It is no better then the Baptist Ladies Club deciding who and what kind of marriages are "worthy". That behavoir is the same behavior practiced by the people who have oppressed us. Who are you to tell someone else how they "should" feel?

In the spirit of your original question....I am wondering if anyone else gets that besides me?

I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?

 

[pat grimshaw]

...I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? ...

The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.

The most people I've seen get married under the new laws are older men with toy-boys or who want to import someone from overseas.

 

[eastofeden]

I'm not judging if a marriage is worthy or not. I'm fine with open marriages where one tells the other they're gonna go hook up and the other is fine with it. That's a person's own private relationship with their partner and I'm not one to say anything.. But a marriage based on 'I fucked several guys discretely so nobody will know and nobody gets hurt' kind of policy is a ridiculous one.. the entire concept of marriage is built on trust.. who the hell are YOU to encourage deceit and betrayal.. first of all do cheaters have no conscience? what do they think exactly? 'fuck.. my wife is probably sitting at home expecting me to come back right about now.. my loving, faithful wife.. eh fuck it, I'm gonna go score some ass' I don't get it.. if you're unsatisfied with your partner you owe them at least to let them know you want out. if you don't want to leave your partner and you want the best of both worlds find yourself somebody that shares your interests. tell your partner or do something that doesn't involve the worst kind of betrayal out there..


edit: I'm saying if marriage means so little to people then why bother fighting for it? if it's so easy to just go out and get laid whenever you fucking feel like it, what's the point of committing yourself to a single person if you're clearly not willing to devote yourself to them as well?

Let me see....

My lover who I have now "cheated" (I hate the word because he never promised me fidelity...I wouldn't let him) on me the first couple of years and came to tell me about it...and because I am not a judgemental asshole with a victim mentality I listened to him and not too long afterward I found out he had been molested by his father since he was in the third grade and he repressed it because it was too much for him to take and his acting out was part of a lifelong attempt to hide from his experiences.

Of course...you would have to have empathy for other people rather than judging them (they have no conscience?)...I gave him love and support and made sure he got counseling which helped him come to terms with what happened eventually and he put it behind him.

That is one reason people "cheat"....a common one actually...there are so many others.....a little bit of empathy goes a long way.

 

[eastofeden]

The zealots are fighting for it as an theoretical exercise.

.....and some people believe in the principle of equality under the law and fight for that whether they believe in the institution of marriage or not...

...as opposed to the people who stand for nothing in particular and fall for anything.

 

[pat grimshaw]

..... fight for that whether they believe in …

The zealots have been doing that in my country. They have divided and weakened the major political parties. And the governments— federal and state —have refused it because they are more more important economic issues to fix.

 

[sixthson]

Because cheaters never cheat just once.

I would like to think this is not true. I doubt anyone accidentally falls into infidelity. They have greased the slide before hand, by placing themselves in situations they know they shouldn't, such being around those they know they can't trust themselves with.
I do suspect that it is easier to cheat once you have done it, especially if you have not dealt with it honestly.

 

[peeonme]

At the risk of being tarred and feathered, hated and despised I will try to shed some light from the perspective of a closeted gay man.
I am 60 yrs. old, married when I was 21 back in '73. In my area in those days a man was in trouble if it was known that he was gay, I had been taught from my youth that gays were evil and God hated them, I remember laying in my bed at night at the age of 16 begging God to make me "normal", I finally convinced myself that He had, I found that I could have sex with a woman, I had done it with many males, but women did not even get me hard when I masturbated.
When I found that I could get it up and even "make love" to a woman I honestly believed that God had changed me, I got married believing this.
Not long into my marriage my wife lost interest in sex, I got it when I was lucky, so it was back to jacking off for most of my pleasure,
along with this came fantasies of the guys that I had been with, I lied to myself and said it was just old memories, that's all.
Before I knew it I was married for 10 yrs. had a son and my wife was disabled, there was no way I was leaving my son, my dad had died when I was 9, my son would have a father.
To cut to the chase, it's been 20 yrs. since I have had sex with my wife, she has no interest, I don't cheat, not that the idea has never entered my mind, I just know that it would change the dynamics of our home life, so, am I a liar because I have never told her that I am gay? maybe, I guess, so, hate me, you won't be the first.
In my opinion I have lived an honorable life, raised my son and been faithful unless some might wish to condemn jacking off to gay porn, but, I will say this, those who preach tolerance should practice it.

 

[Cafe69]

because I am not a judgemental asshole with a victim mentality I listened to him

Wait, what are you saying here ?

People who break up with their unfaithful partners are judgemental assholes with a victim mentality ?

 

[eastofeden]

Wait, what are you saying here ?

People who break up with their unfaithful partners are judgemental assholes with a victim mentality ?

Speaking for myself...if the shoe doesn't fit you don't put it on.

 

[bankside]

^I don't understand why that annoys people. If two people set mutual terms to their own relationship, why should that bother someone? It may not be for you, but they are open with each other and without deception, so what's the matter?

I agree with this.

Either commit to someone fully or have the balls to walk away.

Those in "open" relationships piss me off as well.

Doesn't bother me in the least. I have a monogamous relationship, and I'm fully supportive of people who have healthy, honest, non-monogamous relationships. There's a guy on here with a wife and a boyfriend; they all seem happy, they all know. Their relationship makes sense to me even if I want a different kind.

The one I don't get is how people can fuck strangers, but would never accept an open relationship. If you can fuck strangers, fuck them with someone you love. Even then, I wish them well, but I can't say it makes sense to me.

 

[justanothershyguy]

Actually, no. Both he and I have agreed to be completely honest with each other, and that includes how we feel. I ask, he says no. In other words, if I see someone I'm interested in, I would ask because I'm honest with him. He would say no because he's honest with me.

We both think the way we do this is way more healthier than people that have secret desires and then cheat.

Last time we went to a gay bar I asked his permission to dance with this young guy I spotted and if I could do things with him. He said yes and so I proceeded. Later I asked him if I could take that young guy home with us and he said no. So, we didn't take him home. Of course we had sex later that night.

I don't hide anything from him. He doesn't hide anything from me (I hope). We tell each other exactly how we feel.

Have you ever asked if it bothers him that you do this? Just because he says yes or no to direct questions and being honest doesn't mean he's giving you the full scouting report of his thoughts...

 

[birddog7]

I think cheating is deplorable. I think cheaters don't appreciate what they have. If you have a partner who genuinely cares about you, that should not be taken for granted. If I was in a relationship with someone who really cared about me, and loved me, I'd be sure to treat them right, and be true to them.

I've never been in a relationship, or had anyone who cared about me. I know what it's like to be lonely, and not have anyone to share life with. That some people can take love for granted, and treat those who love them with such disrespect, just makes no sense to me at all. Cheaters who end up alone, and lonely deserved what they got. I didn't mistreat anybody, or do anything to deserve it, but I still ended up alone, and lonely. That's why I have no use for those who cheat, and treat partners and lovers with such disrespect...