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Am I wrong to take him back?

Darted

Darted

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Well since my story is long and boring I'll sum it up for you guys. I caught my boyfriend chatting with other guys (sexually ofcourse) and broke up with him. Once again, I caught him chatting with guys and just brushed it off this time as harmless flirting. This time, I took action. I signed up on Grindr (where he would chat with guys) and initiated a conversation with him (he didn't know it was me). He eventually asked when I was free and if I wanted to meet up. When I confronted him about it he just said he was bored and having fun...

I broke up with him for a month, and now we're back together and I still feel like I can't trust him... Was I a fool for taking him back? I do love him like I've never loved anybody, but I just feel like there's something going on.
 
I wouldn't be able to trust him just yet. Maybe a couple years down when he's ready to settle down. I would just be friends or friends with benefits with him but not get my hopes up of having a real relationship. I think you'd be wasting your time with him if you wanted a real relationship. You could just tell him you just want to be friends or if you want friends with benefits until you find yourself a real boyfriend.
 
Am so sorry Darted for the situation that you are in (*8*) , though as we both
know Love is the Strongest emotion out there .

Sorry that i have no word`s of wisdom,though i am more than willing to be
a shoulder to cry on ,if that helps ?

Take care dude. ..|
 
I don't deal well with betrayal, so I wouldn't have taken him back even the first time. It's not about the sex, I could care less about that, but the fact he was doing it behind your back. I don't really understand how you could love someone who is actively lying to you...
 
Sometimes people do wrong things. There can be forgiveness and a couple can heal and move on.
However, some people are just not trustworthy.

There is usually a reason people break up that is likely to always be a problem between them.
 
I assume you both thought you were in an committed relationship. In that case, then taking him back as your exclusive boyfriend is reckless and looks rather desperate on your part. It just sends the message to him that you are easily taken advantage of with no consequence. He has no reason to change his ways. He's obviously not as serious about having a commitment as you are.
 
Some people won't be monogamous; some people can't be monogamous; some people don't want to be monogamous. And, yes, there's a difference among the three. In order to eventually have a healthy relationship you did to find out where's he's at with the above three options.

If you keep taking him back you enable his behavior.
 
You say you love him, but it sounds like he doesn't love you, at least based on what you have written here. He hasn't demonstrated any empathy for you or concern for your feelings. I would just move on from him. It may be difficult, since you have such strong feelings for him. But I think you may end up getting your feelings hurt over and over if you stay with him.
 
How do you confront him about the situation? Mad? Sad? Let him know how it hurts you because he can't stay loyal to you. Why would he chat with other guys? Is it that you don't look that attractive to him or is it because he can't control his lust? Either way it's pretty fucked up, a lot of people say they wouldn't take him back but for me, I know if I loved him I would take him back, but obviously this guy seems young (guessing you are too) and he needs to explore his sexuality. Good luck man hope it works out and he stops acting like a selfish asshole
 
Lack of trust trumps all IMO

It sounds to me like your lack of trust is totally understandable

Maybe he's not ready YET - maybe he will never be ready

How does he feel about you? seems like it's not as much as you for him

talk with him honestly and YOU have to decide if his responses/feelings/actions are those you can live happily with
 
I wouldn't say he doesn't love you he's just not ready for a serious relationship yet. He wants to sleep around still and he'll probably still do it behind your back and isn't able to control his urges. It's hard to build trust again once something like this happens.
 
Gah I'm so confused! I spent the night sleeping with him and it was just a perfect night... But now that I'm home alone and he's not here I feel like I was wrong to take him back.
 
I know but I just try to beleive him when he says 'i promise I'll change'
 
Well, I agree that you should rather be friends or frends with benefits and not involve feelings much cause you could end up quite hurt. But I know how it feels like to cut strings off the person you have strong feelings for...
 
Nice Boy said:
Well, I agree that you should rather be friends or frends with benefits and not involve feelings much cause you could end up quite hurt. But I know how it feels like to cut strings off the person you have strong feelings for...
Click to expand...

I can't just be friends with him. And I'm not looking for a fuck friend. The thought of being with him and just being friends hurts me even more than not seeing him at all.
 
lucky7 said:
Well then you can't complain if you're hurt. You can't expect to be treated with respect.
And you must know that your feelings are probably one-sided.

Just know what you are getting into
Click to expand...

I just feel like he's immature, even though he does love me. His entire family knows and likes me, vice-versa. We always eat dinner around the table with one of our families and it just doesn't seem like he would go though all this trouble if he didn't love me. He loves to spoil me, and just make sure I'm happy and content.
 
Why did you post this topic at all? It's obvious that he's a complete scumbag, it's also obvious you've decided to be the convenient home fuck for him. SO why the topic? So you can answer with "But oh gosh, I love him so!" after every reasonable advice?

Emotional dependency is unattractive. Seek help.
 
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