American Idol 11

[Sgt Pepper]

Hollie is like Erika from Big Brother All Stars. Always on the chopping block but never actually voted out. And of course both of them liked hanging out with a gay black dude.

Will Hollie get voted out after marginally improving just like this season's Erika, Heejun, Deandre and Elise? Or will she ride yet again, taking out Jessica or Joshua in a "shocking" elimination? I'm predicting the latter.

 

[Tadaa]

I'd like to see Joshua and Phillip in the finale.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I'd like to see Joshua and Phillip in the finale.

To each his own, but wow that's literally my LEAST favorite combination out of the remaining five. One boring guy who can sing (J Led) and another boring guy who can't (P Squared). Even Hollie is entertaining in her vocal mediocrity.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Ruh Roh! Skylar should be worried. Hollie hasn't failed to take out a superior foe yet.

Wouldn't it be just like this show to send home the one contestant with a personality?

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I'm sorry to see Skylar go but OMG Nine Lives Hollie rides again bwahahahaha! This has become the best running joke of the season. Heejun, Deandre, Colton, Elise and Skylar were all in the Bottom with Hollie and...Hollie's still fucking here!

Let's get P Squared in a Bottom Two with that chick NOW!

 

[slipintothefog]

Well, the only one I sort of liked is gone, so I hope the winner is either of the two who aren't the disgustingly overpimped duo of Josh and Jessica.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I'll take over-pimped but not untalented (Jessica/Joshua) over over-pimped but FUCKING RIDICULOUSLY BELOW THE LEVEL OF EVERYONE ELSE AND DOUCHE ATTITUDE TO GO ALONG WITH IT (P Squared). Seriously, Philip is awful. I want nothing more out of this season than to be rid of him. He's Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina rolled into one for me. I just hope we can get him in the Bottom Two next week so Hollie can work her juju and send him back to the Land of Grey, and then we'll have a pleasantly unusual F3 of a Filipino-American, an African-American and a British-American.

 

[slipintothefog]

The thing with Jessica is that I can't even remember the last time the show has had a Chosen One that I've been so completely indifferent towards. I hated Lauren and that was fun, I could see the artistry in Crystal, Adam alternated between hilarious and hilariously fail... Jessica just puts me to sleep.

And Josh is the one for me who is RIDICULOUSLY praised by the judges with their weekly standing ovations to gravely oversinging and it's like a parody now. They should know better anybody that acting like a contestant on a karoake show is the greatest gift of the last century to the music industry is the fastest way for voters to turn and cause that contestant NOT to win the show.

Phil winning would be funny to me because it would continue to wreck the show's credibility, and Hollie winning would be funny because her curse would have destroyed pretty much the entire cast. Even then, my endorsements for them are pretty half-hearted, probably because the judges act like all of these fools are amazing and that this is the best cast ever, etc., when I so disagree on every level.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

Jessica may be boring but she's more talented and less boring than Hollie and Heejun.

With Skylar gone *sob*, I'm convinced that the fix is in. It's going to be a bromantic showdown between Diet Cherry Justin Guarini and Dave Matthew Jack Johnson John Mayer XVI.

This has been the worst season ever. Bring back Paula and all 63 voices in her head.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Slip you're right that Joshua is MASSIVELY overpraised but I guess the reason the P-Squared praise irks me more is because I think it's completely without merit. He's actively atrocious each week whereas Joshua is boring but hits his notes etc. And I'm just one of those recalcitrant people who reacts negatively to "artistry" bullshit i.e. when an artist and others praises that artist for having some kind of moral monopoly on music because they don't care about fashion, or pop music, or anything they think is "selling out" and they just end up throwing around that self-righteousness the way a diva throes around money. In other words, hipsters and yuppies are both annoying but at least the yuppy is upfront about what he is, the hipster wants the same shit but wants to be morally righteous about it too, you know? Joshua is hollow, but I don't get the raging DOUCHE vibe from him that I do from P-Squared.

I can totally get behind a Hollie victory because yes that would be fucking hilarious and at least she's somewhat entertaining in her awkward stage presence and weirdo accent.

As for Jessica, I honestly can't defend her when you and others (and lots of people feel this way) find her boring or lacking in personality. She's 16 and she really doesn't seem to have one yet -- at least not one she's comfortable revealing on TV. But unlike Lauren Alaina, she seems genuinely humble and not annoying, and I really do think she's one of the most technically gifted vocalists they've ever had on this show. In terms of pure vocals, she's right in the Idol Top Tier with Kelly, Carrie, Melinda, Adam, Crystal and Haley, even if she lacks their charisma. I realize this kind of singing is not for everyone and (like your own penchant for fat guys) I admit a weakness for bad pop when it's sung or produced beautifully.

 

[slipintothefog]

Reading what you said about Phil, what did you feel about Elise overall? And I know you like Crystal, and I do too, but Crystal was always all about her "artistry" and ignoring the judges to do her own thing and I thought that got a little bit annoying, too.

I like plenty of bad pop, but I'm not too into glory note robots (although melisma can be funny when it's really overdone), so I guess that's why I'm so indifferent regarding Jessica. During season 4 I really hated Carrie because I thought she was a block of wood when she sang, too, so it's really not a new thing for me. Haley was ideal for me - she could sing but she also brought her sass and personality to her performances.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

It's true that Haley/Melinda/Adam were in a different category from Carrie/Jessica (the glory note robots haha love that) because the former had personalities and charisma to spare.

Crystal could be annoying too yes, but god she could SING. And she didn't think melody meant selling out. Her finale performance of Up to the Mountain is still one of the best things I've ever seen on Idol.

I guess that's the difference for me. For example, Fiona Apple and Katy Perry couldn't be more different. But even though Fiona's music isn't mainstream, there's still a fucking melody, and gorgeous production, and aural pleasures. As opposed to say Radiohead (I'm sorry, I've never gotten their appeal) whose music always sounds like the sound my printer makes when it's out of toner. It's funny to me that everyone compares Philip to Dave Matthews because Dave Matthews can still sing and on tracks like "Crash Into Me" his vocals are beautifully utilized. Philip cannot sing. He's not like Dave Matthews, he's a Dave Matthews karaoke singer. When he wins, he will be the worst technical singer to win since Lee Dewyze.

Finally, is J-Lo getting new endorsement deals? Because she was dressed like a Coca Cola bottle last night.

 

[slipintothefog]

Yeah, for me I like fun people who aren't the best singers. That's why among pop chicks, Madonna's always been the one for me because she always had personality, melody and usually some message to her songs. And on AI, it's why my favorites of the last couple of seasons were this year's Skylar, despite doing a genre I historically don't like, and last year's Casey and Haley.

Hollie is kind of like the blonde teen version of Celine Dion. If she didn't have her F2 curse and that mumbling accent, she would be on the same level as Jessica, Pia or Carrie for me. Like, yeah, you have singing talent, but....

Something about J. Cola's dress is off putting.

 

[socalguy]

Jessica-she is over sexualized in the song choice and the outfits she wears. she is 16 tone it down there are so many perverts out there I would never let my 16 ( daughter or son) go on national tv and dress and be so sexualized as she come off..
Joshua-at times his voice is so great and others I want to get my ear plugs. He really has NO personality he is really stand offish..
Philip I like is style a lot of dont like him I DO side note I think COlton should be there not him
Hollie the monster the judges created with the over the top of her from a couple weeks back made people pay attention..I think she is going to win it all..

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Ever since she's been on Idol, I've been amazed at J. Cola's beauty each week. Yes I know she was always gorgeous, but somehow on Idol she really lights up the room. Is this because she's one of those women for whom 40's is a peak time, or is it because on that panel she's a scenic valley between two mountains of dung?

 

[slipintothefog]

She is the perfect example of why the mute button exists. I enjoy looking but do not enjoy hearing her fake laugh and obsession with goosies.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I have a suggestion for AI. Since they're both FOX shows (and since the first 55 minutes of the results show is always a drag), can they just have Glee's Darren Criss perform every week until the finale? If only to show the tween/cougar alliance of P-Squared voters what a cute boy who can actually sing and perform looks like.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

She is the perfect example of why the mute button exists. I enjoy looking but do not enjoy hearing her fake laugh and obsession with goosies.

Tell me about it. Her laugh and excited reactions to the contestants are as fake as her driving a Fiat through the Bronx.

 

[slipintothefog]

The off button, clearly.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Sorry I edited my comment and made your off-button remark seem...off.