American Idol 11

[sammyyummy]

i just want Phil to sing with that Dave Matthews voice of his and awkward posturing then come to bed for me to do him for a job well done

 

[socalguy]

A lot of people do not realize Phil is in a great deal of pain right now with his health issues. People have forgotten he has terrible kidney stones caused by his birth defect. The fact he can even perform right now is a amazing. I like he is who he is...

 

[Sgt Pepper]

A lot of people do not realize Phil is in a great deal of pain right now

Then he and I have something in common because I'm always in pain when he sings too.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Hollie is the first person in the Bottom Three. Just like it should've been (and probably really was) last week.

Oh Kris Allen. Still making music that tunes me out, while still making faces that turn me on.

 

[slipintothefog]

I miss Kris Allen's season. Megan Joy was my first and favorite VFTW pick. CAW CAW! <3

 

[slipintothefog]

LOL

Bye bye, Colton!

And since you're up against four girls and Joshua, congratulations on your victory, Phillip.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

And since you're up against four girls and Joshua, congratulations on your victory, Phillip.

Exactly. I should be ecstatic that we won't have a F2 as awful as last year (two bland white dudes who can only kinda sorta sing instead of two soulless honky tonks) but Colton's exit just means the entire tween power-texting voting bloc will go to Philip. And the thing is, Philip was the worst of the two!

Even when Idol gets it right, they still get it wrong.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Slip mentioned it before and I checked Vote for the Worst and indeed Philip is still their pick. This strikes me as a lame choice because while I certainly think Philip is the worst in the competition, he's not entertainingly bad and he's the preordained frontrunner. I think it would be much more fun to throw votes Hollie's way (lord knows the fact that the Bounceback Brit is still in the competition without VFTW support and without a single good performance is pretty amazing).

To me, VFTW should only be supporting someone like Philip when it's F2 and he's up against a clearly better singer (like Lee Dewyze vs Crystal Bowersox) not this early when there are choices more in line with the spirit of the joke site.

 

[slipintothefog]

You know Pep, I always see you mentioning the tween girls, but did you know that the average viewing age for American Idol has sharply inclined over the years? The middle-aged housewives who want to fuck David/Kris/Lee/Scotty/Phillip are just culpable if not more than the tweens, especially since the average age really started going up after Sanjaya/Melinda/Jordin's season, which was both the last time a woman won and the last time a racial minority won.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I'll admit I did not know that and you're probably right about the Cougars. But the thing is, this show has not produced a female or black winner since text-voting became the main source of votes in Season 7, and despite the incline in older voters, doesn't it stand to reason that it's the tween and teen girls who spend time sending 1000 texts overnight than say some 45 year old woman who doesn't know how to text or who has too much shit to do in her real life anyway?

But I'm happy to just blame hormonal power-texters without specifying an age demo if you think it's more accurate.

 

[slipintothefog]

Slip mentioned it before and I checked Vote for the Worst and indeed Philip is still their pick. This strikes me as a lame choice because while I certainly think Philip is the worst in the competition, he's not entertainingly bad and he's the preordained frontrunner. I think it would be much more fun to throw votes Hollie's way (lord knows the fact that the Bounceback Brit is still in the competition without VFTW support and without a single good performance is pretty amazing).

Yeah, the reasoning is that having the fifth similar winner in the row makes the show look horrible. Which is true, actually, so I get VFTW picking him. Hollie is a bad singer but she's not an entertainingly bad one because she's robotic, boring and the producers want a girl to win. I think the only reason Shannon was the pick is because everyone was pretty much at the same level of boredom at the beginning of the season and she was the worst singer on top of it.

 

[slipintothefog]

I'll admit I did not know that and you're probably right about the Cougars. But the thing is, this show has not produced a female or black winner since text-voting became the main source of votes in Season 7, and despite the incline in older voters, doesn't it stand to reason that it's the tween and teen girls who spend time sending 1000 texts overnight than say some 45 year old woman who doesn't know how to text or who has too much shit to do in her real life anyway?

Well, the cougar vote can be just as desperate and scary, actually. Just look at the Claymates who always used to stampede over the thought of Clay Aiken! Adam Lambert had a LOT of middle-aged housewife fans, too. They seem to do a great job of singling out the guys to swoon over who would never fuck them anyway.

And there's no need to modify your blame, I just wanted to make sure you knew about the shift in the viewer demo. I blame both of the groups, personally... or love them both because they're helping VFTW ruin the show, whichever.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

the average age really started going up after Sanjaya/Melinda/Jordin's season, which was both the last time a woman won and the last time a racial minority won.

That is a GREAT point, and one I was unaware of. I'll recalibrate my outrage accordingly.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

So does Colton blame his elimination on the judges' refusal to give him one of their bargain basement standing ovations?

 

[Wafflecakes]

Not even a little sad about Colton going home.....all I really care about at this point in the season (now that I know Elise has no shot in hell) is that Phillip does not win. He really is terrible. No post Idol career prospects for him at all. I would hate having to work with him.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

A lot of people do not realize Phil is in a great deal of pain right now with his health issues. People have forgotten he has terrible kidney stones caused by his birth defect. The fact he can even perform right now is a amazing. I like he is who he is...

Kidney stones? That explains those weird faces he makes when he sings.

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Not even a little sad about Colton going home.....all I really care about at this point in the season (now that I know Elise has no shot in hell) is that Phillip does not win.

Then you should be sad about Colton going home cuz his exit makes it 10000x easier for Philip to win, now that all the teen girl and cougar (see slip?) power-texters only have one bland white guy to coalesce their massive voting bloc around.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

Then you should be sad about Colton going home cuz his exit makes it 10000x easier for Philip to win, now that all the teen girl and cougar (see slip?) power-texters only have one bland white guy to coalesce their massive voting bloc around.

I actually liked Phil's version of U Got It Bad. Colton's take on September was pleasant but boring. His hard rock re-do of Bad Romance was almost as atrocious as his hair. Skylar did a MUCH better job with covering Lady G.

Joshua, as usual, oversings the shit out of everything and still manages to reach Heejun-esque levels of blandness.

Oh Hollie...if you ever attempt to sing Let's Get It On ever again, I will tie you down on an anthill and cover you in honey, so that you may feel a fraction of the pain I experienced from watching that performance.

 

[slipintothefog]

teen girl and cougar (see slip?)

 

[Sgt Pepper]

Anyone else want to predict how the second half of the season (I only start watching when they do the live performances) will play out? Here's my prediction:

Elise and Hollie go in the next two weeks (the order doesn't matter), and the judges can't call it at F4 cuz they're fucking useless, but Joshua goes out fourth place because he's a not-hot gay (shh) black guy on a show that's not built for that (try The Voice) leaving Jessica, Philip and Skylar as the F3.

The judges will do everything in their limited power to get both girls in the finals (Randy will credit their performances with 2000% superlatives and J Lo will try to make "goosies" happen again with both girls) to prove this show hasn't been hijacked by hormones, but just like last year, the girls will split the vote with the country contingent saving Skylar (and cuz they can't vote from the Philippines), Melinda Doolittling Jessica and the F2 will be Philip and Skylar.

For the first time ever, I will throw my support with the country vote (because lord knows Skylar's gun-sassiness is way more entertaining than Philip's grey-assholeness) and that's enough to kill Skylar deader than a possum at the end of her shotgun because the same massive bloc that crowned Taylor Hicks and Carrie Underwood and got TWO honky tonks into the finals last year still isn't enough to overcome my inveterate bad luck, and so Bland White Guy Who Plays An Instrument and Can Only Kinda Sorta Sing #5 wins the season.