The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Men?

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

sunoftheskye said:
At work they'll let me off the elevator first, hold open the door for me, etc., and they don't do the same for the other straight guys that work there
Click to expand...
When straight guys are extra-nice to me, it's often out of mockery, to see if I notice that they're making fun of me and threating me like a lady. So basically, it's never a good thing if they act like that.

More than often though, I'm the fifth wheel. They don't tell me things, then later on they trash me that I don't have this and that with me or should have known that we're going to do this and that :grrr:
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

sunoftheskye said:
How do you figure?

Especially when this is including people who I barely speak to.
Click to expand...

during your interaction with people, you give feedback verbally and non-verbally.

feedback even happens before you start speaking to each other. your appearance and demeanor also govern how other engage you.

... when's the last time you greeted an 80-year old woman with "what the dilly, yo?" :p
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

davy said:
during your interaction with people, you give feedback verbally and non-verbally.

feedback even happens before you start speaking to each other. your appearance and demeanor also govern how other engage you.

... when's the last time you greeted an 80-year old woman with "what the dilly, yo?" :p
Click to expand...

And you're making this assumption when you don't know me or the people I'm speaking of. :rolleyes:
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I'm openly bisexual and a supporter for homosexuality. Straight males treat me differently in these situations:

a) age, usually 11-18, have too many questions or lack the immaturity to understand anything different.
b) delusions, they feel gay/bisexual guys are after them and always check them out.
c) society, don't want to be associated with a gay/bisexual friend.
d) conditions, as long as I'm bi (still interested in girls) and not "full-on gay", then I'm cool.

It's been challenging recently. I've made some straight male friends in college and once they see my orientation on Myspace or Facebook, or ask me about it, they either avoid me or acting strangely.

I just ended a two-year friendship with a guy who used to "pretend gay" with me and friends (we'd hit on each other ALL THE TIME), but he was disrespectful to me in front of others (always trying to hook me up with every guy he knew) and was telling others that "he doesn't like me at all". And to think he's one of the first I came out to. :(
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Most of my friends are str8 and most of them treat me like any other of their friends. There are a few who do not and I think it is because they are the ones who worry about their own sexuality.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

gwassideur said:
but as with all old scars, it became a badge of honour.
Click to expand...
That's a nice thought, but sometimes those old scars become suits of armor instead. Suits that prevent most anyone from getting close to you without a great deal of effort.

Just sayin'.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

sunoftheskye said:
And you're making this assumption when you don't know me or the people I'm speaking of. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

you know: it's funny when people say "you/[he]/[she]/[they] don't know me"

i was listening to a forum of psychologist and psychiatrist on at my university a couple years ago on the topic of ethics in medicine.

one of the doctors brought up the "you don't know me" remark and quickly followed that there are well defined patterns of behaviors that all human beings follow and that every person on the planet react with one of a finite certain set of reactions; no matter what.

at first, i thought it was a joke, but, then, all of the psycho-analysts immediately agreed; as if they were agreeing that the sky was blue.

in your case: yes, you do give off conscious and unconscious indicators before and during your meeting with other. so do i and so does anyone else.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

dynk said:
Most of my friends are str8 and most of them treat me like any other of their friends. There are a few who do not and I think it is because they are the ones who worry about their own sexuality.
Click to expand...

That's one thing I forgot. None of my friends are homophobic, because I don't tolerate discrimination. The guys who do treat me differently have a questionable sexuality because their family won't accept homosexuality. Well, that's their problem, but mistreating others will only hurt you in the end.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Things aren't perfect but things are better for gay guys. In HS I had to put up with a barrage of ridicule. College not so much ridicule as isolation.

I got tired of it eventually and would just go off on people, mostly guys. Guys are more overt about any "problem" they have with your sexuality. Girls just stab you in the back.

In my 30s it was different. I had straight male freinds that acted like it was a phase and I'd get over it. Others did the "you haven't found the right girl" thing. Some teased me, not mean spirited just childish crap. I even had a few harrass me about blowing them, some playfully and some not.

I am of the opinion you call things to you sometimes if you dwell on them. Straight guys are like gay guys they are all different and not some monolithic force. People deal with things differently. I don't think it has anything to do with gay or straight.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Sunoftheskye, it sounds to me more like your straight friends are overcompensating for your gayness out of fear they may offend you in some way. It's sort of like someone who has a friend who becomes a parapalegic and the able bodied friends start trying to do everything for their disabled friend, when all the disabled friend wants is to be treated like he was before he became disabled.

It's great you have straight male friends who think enough of you to be that concerned. I think one way to make them treat you more like 'one of the guys' is to not wait for them to open the door for you. Open the door for them. When they start being overprotective let them know you appreciate it but you're a big boy and can handle yourself. Eventually they'll get the idea you don't particularly care for the extra TLC and things will even out.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Never been a problem for me. My problem, ironically, is convincing said people that I'm gay. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. The only different way I'm treated by my straight male friends is they ask me if they're suspicious of a guy. :lol:
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I haven't noticed that at all. But then again, I'm not looking for it, either. I got enough to think about.

Lex
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

its funny that some people go through this.
i recently met this group of guys at a concert i went to a few weeks ago. anyway well some friends and i ended up partying with them a few times after that, and one of the guys, rick, asked my friend kasey if i had gotten offended by some of the things they did...
(one night while drinking a lot of them were being really "gay/touchy/etc" with each other, they are all good friends so i thought nothing of it, it went as far as the guys kissing and what not..then of course came the typical "dude youre gay" teasing..)
she said she didnt think so. and since that talk they had- hes been REALLY over protective about anything anyone says revolving around the slightest bit of homoerotic behavior or jokes or etc. i told him dude, its cool man. i dont care it doesnt bother me. but he continues to watch over me.
its cool. but i feel like (of course) im being treated like something far more sensitive...but i mean im not used to things like that...i grew up in a small hick ass town and i never had the problem so to say.... so this is all weird...
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

LMAO. Thats hilarious. I would laugh so hard if guys pulled out chair and held doors open for me. Thats a good observation OMG. But yeah, like a previous poster stated, if you wanna end that then the best thing to do would be to display yourself as an able independent MAN. In the mean time, laugh your ass off cuz thats so funny.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

awww thats so sweet i would feel very special if i were you but i kind of get what you mean it just depends on the guy i guess?
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

The_Pianist said:
I can't say that I've noticed an appreciable difference.
Click to expand...
Neither have I.
I've been treated (and treat others) exactly the same since I came out to everyone. ..|
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

are you kidding. i would love for straight guys to treat me like you described. i'm not out but i see the ones that are and they have friends but aren't really picked on but they get talked and laughed about behind their back by a few. i doubt any guy here would do what the guys do for you. where do you live
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

never had that
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

F22-Raptor said:
I think it has to do with the general stereotype that gay guys are soft, gentle, and girl like, so straight guys turn their "be a gentleman" mode around gays, just like they were taught to do around women.
Click to expand...
Is it true does it really exist. Thats funny maybe i haven't seen this mode before.
Back to the subject at hand i have not noticed this before, i will have to look into it.
 
Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Omg, story of my life. x] I notice that a lot, too. Most of my guy friends tend to treat me that way as well lol. They'll let me go through doorways first, or open the door for me, and hell, after I came out to a buddy I've known since I could barely talk, he went as far as pulling out chairs for me when we go out with our other friends LoL. Personally, I think it's really cute and sweet, but sometimes it does make me feel more "feminine" around them. I'm not really a feminine guy to begin with, so it was weird at first, but I got over it and just figured it was what they wanted to do.

Plus, I like the attention. :lol:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top