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Are estranged from any family members after coming out?

C

CShields

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If so, did you or any of the family members you were estranged from ever reach out? I'm just curious to hear some stories about that if it's not too much...
 
I moved this thread because you are asking a general question without stating that this has been a problem for you. If you have faced this issue and wish to ask for advice please send me a pm and I'll move it back.
 
Yes , i no longer speak to my two younger siblings , their attitude towards LGBT people puts me to shame .

Homophobia is still around in heavy doses here in Scotland , especially Glasgow , my mum was accepting , though it took a long time , my dad was not , my brother and sister are very much like my dad , not a good thing when they are still in their very early twenties..................:##:
 
medic1 said:
Yes , i no longer speak to my two younger siblings , their attitude towards LGBT people puts me to shame .

Homophobia is still around in heavy doses here in Scotland , especially Glasgow , my mum was accepting , though it took a long time , my dad was not , my brother and sister are very much like my dad , not a good thing when they are still in their very early twenties..................:##:
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So they know you're gay, you no longer speak to them, and they are okay with that? They are okay with pushing away one of their own siblings? They don't show any regret at all? They just stopped loving you? :(
 
Yeah shields sadly not everyone is accepting and I love my family and I can't just not love them but there's not a single person in my family that supports the gay community.. hahaha I've made my peace with it though c:
 
CShields said:
So they know you're gay, you no longer speak to them, and they are okay with that? They are okay with pushing away one of their own siblings? They don't show any regret at all? They just stopped loving you? :(
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I was tired of living a lie , i had met my man , i wanted to go to Uni , so i plucked up the balls to tell my "close family" , there reaction was what i expected , my dad was a working class Glaswegian , he was also one of the local shop-stewards in a foundry.

He was also of that age and of that era that had no understanding of Gay Men , his solution was simple , it was a phase i had gone through , BUT , now was the time to settle down and get married and have kids , he then reminded me that i was a Roman Catholic , and the shame i would bring to the family would not be tolerated .

After that the choice was really rather simple , "gut-wrenching" but simple , Love versus Hate , i chose the right one , my mum finally sort of came round , though she would not meet my lover .
My Family are my close friends , both straight and gay , i regret that i will never meet my nephews and my niece , BUT , this is my life "have heard that phrase before somewhere" and it is a precious gift .

I have no regrets about my choice.................pride:
 
I never had to make the choice as did medic1 as I had no family apart from my father to tell. He got told when it became necessary, ie. I moved in with a guy. The poor man, I don't really think he understood what I was explaining to him. But we had never been close so it really didn't cause any emotional pain.

Yet my first boyfriend's family are incredibly close knit around all the gays of the family, two brothers and a lesbian neice. All the boyfriends/girlfriends are part of the family and everyone loves and cares for everyone else. Even ex-lovers such as myself are cherished and involved in family life.
 
all but one family on my father's side of the family haven't talked to us since my mother came out two years ago (my father is still a wonderful father and helps raise us)
 
Don't know and don't care. I don't really talk to my extended family and my immediate family didn't throw me out, so i'm good.
 
Not so far as I can tell. I have a very-right-leaning brother and aunt, but they're both pro-gay-rights. I may have weirded out a cousin or something, but if so, it was someone I never interacted with much anyway.

Lex
 
It pretty much estranged me from my entire family and a very ugly incident caused me not to speak to any of them for about 3 years. Now it is more civil, but they are still unaccepting, but I knew it would be thus when I came out.
 
medic1 said:
I was tired of living a lie , i had met my man , i wanted to go to Uni , so i plucked up the balls to tell my "close family" , there reaction was what i expected , my dad was a working class Glaswegian , he was also one of the local shop-stewards in a foundry.

He was also of that age and of that era that had no understanding of Gay Men , his solution was simple , it was a phase i had gone through , BUT , now was the time to settle down and get married and have kids , he then reminded me that i was a Roman Catholic , and the shame i would bring to the family would not be tolerated .

After that the choice was really rather simple , "gut-wrenching" but simple , Love versus Hate , i chose the right one , my mum finally sort of came round , though she would not meet my lover .
My Family are my close friends , both straight and gay , i regret that i will never meet my nephews and my niece , BUT , this is my life "have heard that phrase before somewhere" and it is a precious gift .

I have no regrets about my choice.................pride:
Click to expand...

Nowadays, (or maybe at least in Canada) a shop steward would just as likely be attending a diversity workshop in the capital at union expense, and annoying his coworkers by talking less about paycheque rises and severance protection, and more about "fostering a climate of inclusion."
 
kindabikindagay said:
I don't think I'd be a part of the family if I came out.. they would definitely disown me..
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^This .. there's a reason why some things are best kept as secrets.
(I think my sister would be ok with it .. but the parents. nope )
 
My entire family was very accepting when I came out in 2005. There were no issues at all.

Today it's the same except for one family member, my father. He was a serious alcoholic who almost killed himself several times until he went through numerous rehabs. The last rehab he went through was a Christian faith based rehab and wouldn't you know it, he allowed himself to be brainwashed by those freaks. Now he's been "saved" or "born again" and thumps the bible in everyway possible. He told me my choices are sin and he doesn't accept them. Well you know what? Fuck him. We do not speak any longer and I want nothing to do with him.

There's more to this story but it's to much to type. I feel so sorry for any of you guys who go or went through the same thing. Christians are just fucking insane.
 
bankside said:
Nowadays, (or maybe at least in Canada) a shop steward would just as likely be attending a diversity workshop in the capital at union expense, and annoying his coworkers by talking less about paycheque rises and severance protection, and more about "fostering a climate of inclusion."
Click to expand...

So true .
Though , my Theory was/is that this attitude is somehow "Hardwired" into Glaswegian men of a certain age......:(

Not fighting for Equality , but intolerance to anything which is "not the norm" , especially if they were/are Roman Catholic or The Free Kirk .
My dad used to tell people that his eldest son from his 2nd marriage had died , he even used the date of my coming out as the date of my Death .
 
oh and...
my mother almost found out last year...because I went to a certain, um, Parade, down in the city...(luckily she thought there was multiple parades that day - she knows I went to a parade, just not which one LOL) That's something I won't risk again
I also went to a related festival/event both last year & the year before (less risky, plus I'd rather go to that any) .. undecided on chancing it this year, but its not til sometime in June anyway
 
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