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Are there any classy guys left for me to date?

tcrawford18

tcrawford18

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Soo, I just wanted to bring something up that has been frustrating me lately and that is the lack of classy men with good values who are happy with who they are, in the dating scene. I'm 22 now, and I've tried different avenues when dating, like meeting guys online, going out to bars, through friends, and local gay social events.

I'm looking for a guy who is clean, normal, respectable. Someone I can be proud to take home to my parents. That means no tattoos, no piercings, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't use foul language, and takes care of his body. You don't have to be a pro bodybuilder, but hitting the gym a few times a week and eating healthy foods is what everyone should be doing anyway. I'd think more gay guys would be into that.

I myself possess all of the qualities I have just mentioned, and have to believe someone else out there does as well, but right now I'm feeling super alone and hopeless. So what do you guys think?
 
I knew a guy who was all of those things you mentioned once...he was the part time doorman at the club I worked at. The rest of us all had flaws you would find unacceptable though. He turned out to be a mass murderer. Yep...Mr Perfect killed a bunch of folks (everyone thought he was perfect except for me...I thought he was a creep)

The moral of the story...be careful what you ask for.
 
A word of advice which you will probably ignore anyway : don't have so high expectations. If you wait to meet your perfect Prince Charming, you risk waiting all your live.

Meet people and try and discover what make them special. You may be surprised to like people who don't meet all your criteria at first glance.
 
Someone has unrealistic expectations for dating which is why you're single. Yeah it's good to have some standards [I wouldn't date a smoker either] but they have to be realistic.
 
eastofeden said:
I knew a guy who was all of those things you mentioned once...he was the part time doorman at the club I worked at. The rest of us all had flaws you would find unacceptable though. He turned out to be a mass murderer. Yep...Mr Perfect killed a bunch of folks (everyone thought he was perfect except for me...I thought he was a creep)
Click to expand...

Wow. Is that a true story, or did you just make that up?

The OP wants "classy men with good values who are happy with who they are." Would such a guy murder people?
 
80KGold said:
Wow. Is that a true story, or did you just make that up?

The OP wants "classy men with good values who are happy with who they are." Would such a guy murder people?
Click to expand...

Quite True. ...and he was all of those things the OP mentioned.

My point....if all you want are superficial qualities then you might end up with a psychopath.
 
Well if what you're saying is true then maybe I will be single all my life. How can I help what it is that attracts me to a guy? I understand you say I may need to lower my expectations, but that's just depressing. Has the world gone to such crap that there are no other guys out there like me?

I can't make exceptions. When I see a tattoo or a piercing of any kind, my dick goes down. It disgusts me. When I smell smoker's breath, I want to vomit. In order for me to share a life with someone, I need them to be at least semi-active. I don't want a lazy ass boyfriend who sits around all day eating big macs.

Okay I guess if he drinks...maybe I could accept that, I mean, yeah lots of gay guys drink. But don't be an alcoholic. I myself don't see the appeal in getting drunk, so I always order water or virgin drinks at clubs, but if you drink, whatevs but you wouldn't believe how many guys can NOT handle their liquor. And that is crazy unattractive.

And as for the foul language, I mean, geez I'm young! And I can speak proper English without swearing after every other word, so why can't the rest of the population? It's just "Fuck I met this fuckin guy who was a fuckin douche and I fuckin thought we fuckin had something and then he just fuckin left me for some other fuckin twink." Gutter. Mouths. Everywhere. Cursing once in awhile may be tolerable, but...it still kinda offends me. Sorta. :/

*Sigh*
 
with that laundry list of things you are looking for, you probably better start preparing for a single life.
 
There's having a standard, and then there is slapping anything away that you consider to be imperfect.

It seems that you're searching for a statue - the man that has it all. I'm actually shocked that you didn't say he needs a career, not a job, needs to be making X amount of money, goes to church on Sunday, can share the household chores, wants a child one day, is out, does charity... it's all so clinical and cold.

Lighten up a little bit. The world isn't going to hell in a hand basket because someone drinks with friends or has a couple of tattoos. Not to say you can't be... well, you... but you're in Las Vegas. Have some fun in your life.
 
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You have a weird understanding of what "classy" means. But don't tell me there isn't a single gay guy who doesn't meet your physical requirements. Maybe you should attend Brigham Young University an activate your Grindr in work out gym there? I'm sure you will find a nice Mormon who looks 1950s classy in khakis and hand woven cardigans who doesn't smoke or have tats and eats organic only.
 
I think your major problem is using the word "normal" and classifying yourself a such. The other thing...when anyone came to me and told me what the problem was with "men" (almost every night for 20 years)...I figured out early on that the problem was almost never with the other men. Just sayin' ...
 
I feel in love with a guy at first sight. Even though he turned out to be much like what you describe, I didn't know that at the time and didn't care. I was a teenager and in love. He had his faults and so do I but it doesn't affect the love you have for someone. Now, I am not talking about murderers and crazies. I'm talking about little things that make us all different. I think your best bet is to fall in love right off the bat and you'll find you can accept in a man alot of what you thought you could not. I've tried to understand this notion of falling in love with someone the moment you set eyes on them. I know most people would say it isn't possible. All I know is that the feeling that went through me the moment I saw him remained there for 35yrs. It also did for him. All I know is, it happened to me and is possibly the most amazing thing that has happened to me in my entire life. In fact, that moment was so intense I could not speak or even move for a few minutes, I just stood there and stared at him.I vowed to make him mine right there and then and I did, thank god.
 
^Thanks ibill, that's the kind of romantic moment I would love to have myself, and I'm glad you were able to experience it. I am a sucker for romance, true love, fairy tale happy endings come to life, etc.

And from what the majority of you are saying, perhaps I do need to do some soul searching of my own, if I want to be able to find Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now.

That's why I wanted to get some fresh opinions. Maybe it is me, maybe I do have a ghost of a man in my head that may not even be real. I guess I just won't give up, and I'll keep looking, and try to keep my mind more open.

Thanks guys :)
 
eastofeden said:
Quite True. ...and he was all of those things the OP mentioned.

My point....if all you want are superficial qualities then you might end up with a psychopath.
Click to expand...

I got what you meant, man. ..|

However, I doubt that a good guy would be, simultaneously, a serial killer and a classy man with good values who is happy with his identity.
 
80KGold said:
I got what you meant, man. ..|

However, I doubt that a good guy would be, simultaneously, a serial killer and a classy man with good values who is happy with his identity.
Click to expand...

Well...I used an extreme example to make a point...

I think what constitutes a "good guy" for me is quite different than the OP. None of those qualities either together or alone suggest a man of substance for me. I much prefer to know who the man is....not what he appears to be. That is where I spend my time.

I have had a fairly successful love life and have been with my soul mate for 27 very happy years now so I know a thing or two about quality men...and it goes so much deeper than anything the OP mentioned ...for me anyway. BTW...if we throw out the words "normal and respectable" as I find those words completely subjective.... my lover met all but one of those qualities...though none of those qualities were important to me.

I think is is wise for the OP to rethink his search....
 
How bout?...

Are there any "fun" guys left for me to date?

:confused:
 
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