Are you happy?

[Shattereddreams]

The concept of happiness seemed much more simple when I was little. Now at twenty, I feel like I do not understand the feeling as opposed to the easy cheery vs. sad six years ago. It seems as if as I get older, it's harder for me to get exited about much, and things that used to send me to the moon barely cut it anymore. I think I have everything I've asked for in life. There are things that are a working progress like weight loss and finding love, but other than that, I've been blessed in every way imaginable. So, why don't I feel happy? What is happiness supposed to feel like exactly? Contentment? A long lasting relaxed state? Because that seems impossible due to the stress the outside world imposes upon us daily.

So, how do you define happiness exactly? Do you think you're happy? If not, why?

 

[HunterM]

Happiness is...being in a sex orgy whenever I want it!

 

[HunterM]

Wherever that sense of peace and euphoria comes from for you--is your place of happiness.

Exactly! It's like the euphoria of someone sucking my cock.

 

[ibill1]

I'm happy, when circumstances make me happy, and I can be sad sometimes, like hearing about what good people are going through because of Sandy, lives destroyed. Happiness is relative. I remain happy by at least trying to change what I can and letting go with those that I have no contol over.

 

[HoodedRat]

I'm a manic/depressive (apparently the modern PC term is 'bi-polar') ... I fluctuate wildly between ecstatically happy or suicidally morose. At the moment I am up but tomorrow I may not be. Circumstances seldom have anything much to do with my state of mind.

 

[maxpowr9]

I'm a manic/depressive (apparently the modern PC term is 'bi-polar') ... I fluctuate wildly between ecstatically happy or suicidally morose. At the moment I am up but tomorrow I may not be. Circumstances seldom have anything much to do with my state of mind.

That's not bipolar, that's Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). No type of bipolar fluctuates daily. It moves in waves that last about 2 months to a year.

At least for me as a stoic, I'm content. I'm not elated but I'm not depressed either.

 

[Telstra]

The concept of happiness seemed much more simple when I was little. Now at twenty, I feel like I do not understand the feeling as opposed to the easy cheery vs. sad six years ago. It seems as if as I get older, it's harder for me to get exited about much, and things that used to send me to the moon barely cut it anymore. I think I have everything I've asked for in life. There are things that are a working progress like weight loss and finding love, but other than that, I've been blessed in every way imaginable. So, why don't I feel happy? What is happiness supposed to feel like exactly? Contentment? A long lasting relaxed state? Because that seems impossible due to the stress the outside world imposes upon us daily.

So, how do you define happiness exactly? Do you think you're happy? If not, why?

I can't say i'm unhappy.
If you can't say you are not happy, that is good and keep on doing things you like until the retirement age.

 

[Telstra]

Goldie Hawn is happiness. Im not an adoring fan but she exudes what I think many people would like to have.
People like Goldie who are aleways happy are the epitomy of happiness, imo

Don't know if she behave like that behind closed doors.
If so, good for her about her "happiness".

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

No. I hate my life at the moment.

 

[Nishin]

The concept of happiness seemed much more simple when I was little. Now at twenty, I feel like I do not understand the feeling as opposed to the easy cheery vs. sad six years ago. It seems as if as I get older, it's harder for me to get exited about much, and things that used to send me to the moon barely cut it anymore. I think I have everything I've asked for in life. There are things that are a working progress like weight loss and finding love, but other than that, I've been blessed in every way imaginable. So, why don't I feel happy? What is happiness supposed to feel like exactly? Contentment? A long lasting relaxed state? Because that seems impossible due to the stress the outside world imposes upon us daily.

So, how do you define happiness exactly? Do you think you're happy? If not, why?

There is no such thing as (permanent) happiness... being happy is only a temporary and contextual state... I'm not so sure about that modern idea of happiness we're told/taught to pursue all the time...

I actually agree with Telstra on this one, my definition of Happiness (with a cap H) would be: when you're not unhappy/miserable/worried etc...

Do I think I'm happy, not 100%, yet I'm grateful and acknowledge I'm lucky for so many things I have other do not... there will always be (some)things missing, but I won't let these ruin what I got right.

I hadn't really paid attention to that before (when I first registered JUB some years ago) but lately I have noticed that it seems a great number, if not a majority of guys here seem unhappy/depressive/tobehavingconfidenceissues etc... also I often read as some of us complain about their lack of social interactions, or not having boyfriends, loneliness etc etc ... I know statistics show that gays have higher rates of depression/suicides as teens and young wo/men, but I read such things from older guys as well and I wonder ...
Are we as gay wo/men too sensitive to social pressure and trying to lead the lives the heteronormative society we live in impose on us to the point of being alienated in our deeper beings and causing such states and insecurities? Is it only more visible here because JUB and alikes are the first/last places we feel confident at expressing our feelings at? Then is it something that's developing in society in general? Or are there other reasons to that?

Do we spend too much time analyzing ourselves and our frustrations and failures when we should be appreciating the good things life gives us instead?

 

[timboy]

No not really , my close friends make me happy but my life does not

 

[Trosell12]

I'm usually always happy. Even when something bad happens, I try to make the best of it.

 

[birddog7]

****NO****

 

[HunterM]

YES! I am happy...seeing my ex suffer in misery.

 

[loveguys72]

Happiness is an elusive concept. As we get older, we gain more experience of life, more responsibilities, and basically more demands on us and our resources. At some point, we stop looking for "happiness" in the juvenile "OMG this is the bestest EVAR!!!!!" sense and learn the art of contentment, being fulfilled by what we have and what we can realistically attain.

An older friend of mine once answered, when I asked her what she thought was the reason some people want to keep on living, that she was just curious to see what happens next. As long as you can find life interesting and engaging, you'll find reason to be content in life, if not giddily "happy".

The concept of happiness seemed much more simple when I was little. Now at twenty, I feel like I do not understand the feeling as opposed to the easy cheery vs. sad six years ago. It seems as if as I get older, it's harder for me to get exited about much, and things that used to send me to the moon barely cut it anymore. I think I have everything I've asked for in life. There are things that are a working progress like weight loss and finding love, but other than that, I've been blessed in every way imaginable. So, why don't I feel happy? What is happiness supposed to feel like exactly? Contentment? A long lasting relaxed state? Because that seems impossible due to the stress the outside world imposes upon us daily.

So, how do you define happiness exactly? Do you think you're happy? If not, why?

 

[Rickrock]

Yes, I am happy, but more content than ecstatically happy. No one is happy all of the time, but if you try to look at events in the best way and count your blessings, you will be generally happy. I think that everyone goes through a stage when they question where they are and with maturity your feelings toward things do change. As you get older, you do get stress and you realize things that you didn't see before. If you get too much stress, you may need to change something in your life, but some stress is natural and learning how to cope with it is part of learning and maturing. I do know that you don't appreciate the good times if you don't have bad times to compare them to, you need ups and downs so you know when you are up. Huntneo(PT) had it right when they said that they think that you are getting bored. Boy, I have been there before too, maybe because my life was too good for too long and I got used to it and didn't realize/appreciate it. Try to find new things that you like to do and try to keep busy. Good luck.

 

[The Fly]

No, I can say that I am exceedingly unhappy. My life's a catastrophe as of late, and it's all my doing. But then again, if you looked at recent events, it can also be argued that fate also took part in the current situation that I am in.

How can you be unhappy? You're drowning in a sea of kittens



As for myself I guess I'm more satisfied than happy. The up of happiness ebbs and flows, but I'm content knowing that things usually work out.

 

[G-Lexington]

Adult happy is different from child happy, at least in my eyes. I remember running around the house screaming with joy when I got what I wanted or my birthday when I turned six. And no, I never reach those levels now. Instead of sudden, explosive bursts, it's like a modest, long-lasting warmth. Instead of sharp peaks and deep valleys, it's more like gentle rolling hills. And honestly, I prefer it this way.

While at Disney World last week, I took one of those water taxis between two points. It's probably the slowest and most boring way between two points there (except for walking). And I realized I was enjoying the trip. Just sitting, watching the scenery go by, looking at the other park goers. Very old-person of me, I know. But I honestly feel like I'm at the point where I can extract a ton of happiness from everyday living. And when you can do that, life kicks ass.

Lex

 

[Anders123]

I don't know.

I'm going through some pretty heavy stuff at the moment, and it has been incredibly draining. I've been noticing that I'm far more easily bothered by the little things. For example, a friend hasn't bothered to return my call from earlier this week, and another friend called this afternoon to cancel our plans for tomorrow night. Whereas ordinarily I'd just let it go, I'm now having difficulty suppressing the urge for pettiness. More than that though, I'm struggling to avoid beating myself up over not being more extroverted, charismatic, likeable etc.

I love my job though, and despite being on break at the moment, I've been enjoying classes. Life is slowly but surely heading in the direction I want it to, it just feels as if there are so many unnecessary hurdles blocking my path.

Still, hope remains that one day I will find myself feeling happy again. Or happier, at least.

 

[TitaniumSky]

As a child, for most, the strongest desire was to grow up. Back then, everything was a discovery, something new to feel/touch/experience. You have all the energy to express your happiness. You have no fears about the uncertainty of the future because you have a lot of years ahead of you and you feel like as an adult you would be able to experience much more. You don't worry about your future career or your future relationships or how you would look in the future.

As you grow older especially the 20's, I guess you experience a quarter life crisis in which you realize that you don't want to grow up anymore. You understand death and everything is moving too fast now. You have new desires to find someone to share life with and you feel lonely without that someone. You have fears about the uncertainty of the future. Time is moving too fast and you are stressed out. You wonder if you are wasting your time doing insignificant things all the time. Your beauty and physical prowess fades and you know that by age 40 you are essentially old.

Constant fear of uncertainty leaves a lingering unhappiness, until you achieve a deep relationship with someone. At that point your focus shifts. You fear the future and its uncertainty less and are able to experience happiness again, but not as sharp excitement because you don't have the energy level you had as a child.

When you get old, you basically have accepted that you are nearing the end of your life. There is no uncertainty of the future because you don't have much years to be uncertain about. At this age there would be a split. You may end up as someone who regrets a lot or someone who doesn't and that will determine your happiness.

So I would say that happiness depends on the burden of uncertainty and hypothetical negative thought.

Considering my current state, I don't think I am happy.


Looking at this again, I think this only applies to someone whose main focus in life is on self and not on others.