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"Are you sure you're ready?"

Part Nine​


Dan sat on the couch, wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his red hoodie, something I remembered him always wearing. I sat on the couch across from him, waiting for an apology and whatever else he came here to say.

“It looks the same,” he mumbled, “Your house, I mean. It looks exactly the way I remember it. Except for that painting, I don't remember that.”

I looked behind me and realized what he was talking about. The painting featured the light blue ocean with the glowing sun setting in the background. The colors were bright and beautiful, making you wish you were actually there. “Liam made that. It was one of the first ones he made when he got out…” I didn’t want to say it.

“When he got out of the mental hospital?” Dan replied, finishing my sentence. I nodded. “How is he?”

“Fine, for the most part. He’s on medication now. Your phone calls were the first thing to cause him real anger in months.”

“Oh,” Dan said, looking down in shame, “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t think he’d answer your phone.”

“What do you want?” My patience was withering away and I knew soon my parents would be arriving home.

“To say that I’m sorry for everything. I’ve done a lot of thinking and growing up over the past two years. It took me a long time to accept myself and my sexuality. Even now it can be hard to say I’m…gay. Back when you came out to me, I became jealous of you because you were ok with it. I wanted someone to…suffer with me and feel my pain, so I dragged you down and hurt you for months. Calling you names, beating you up, it made me feel less lonely.

“I know it’s twisted but it’s the truth. I kept pushing you farther and farther until your brother found out and…put me in my place. He really loves you.” He smiled as he said the last sentence, wiping tears with his sleeve again.

I looked up at Dan and nodded. “Yeah, he does.”

“After your brother went to the mental hospital and you changed schools, I started to realize how screwed up I was. How much I needed to change. I began seeing a therapist and eventually I came out to my dad.”

“Really?” I replied, not suppressing my surprise.

“Yeah. He wasn’t happy and he’s still coming to terms with it, but I’m just glad he didn’t completely shun me. He’s trying to accept it, which is all I can ask for at this point.”

There was an awkward moment of silence. I was happy for him but couldn’t let him know. After all, this wasn’t supposed to be two old friends catching up.

“I understand if you can’t forgive me, Christopher, but I wanted to tell you my side. I do regret everything that I did and I wish I could take it all back.”

I took a moment to consider this. The idea of being friends with Dan again made me sick but forgiving him…well…maybe I could throw him a bone. He didn’t seem like the childish asshole I used to know.

Before I could say anything, the front door opened and in walked my parents. They both looked uneasy when they saw Dan, especially my dad.

“I really think you need to leave.” The way my dad said the words made them feel more like a threat than a suggestion.

Dan mumbled an “Ok, sir.” and stood up to leave. I gave him a face of sympathy and watched him walk out of the house, my mom closing the door behind him.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I muttered, knowing they would pile on the questions. They seemed to understand as they walked away.

I turned back towards the painting. It really was beautiful but I, unlike most people who had seen it, knew there was more to the picture than just this painting. My brother had made a second painting, showing what was beneath the surface of the ocean. If you hung the second under the first, you’d see the complete picture. I’d only seen the second painting once but it had drawn sadness in me. It was made of dark and angry strokes and colors. A ship sunk to the bottom of the murky ocean, covered in moss, with a name on it just barely visible: Lena.

“Adam!” my mom’s voice called out, “Adam, hurry!” She was looking out the window as my dad ran to her.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, panic in his voice. I watched him take a quick look out the window, mutter a swear word, and then hurry towards the front door.

By the time I got to the window he was already on the front lawn, trying to pull an enraged Liam off of Dan.


-


(Author's note: This chapter probably left some things unclear. The tenth part will cover more details and will be told from Liam's perspective.

Thanks again for the feedback, guys. :) )
 
An intense chapter, Woody. With some of the mystery starting to show it's face, I look forward to the next part. Hopefully neither Liam nor Dan are hurt in their scuffle. It sounds as though Dan has much more to explain, and I'm sure that will happen in the upcoming chapters.

Craiger
 
Part Ten - Liam​


(As stated before, this chapter is told from Liam's point of view. There are a number of flashbacks in this chapter, revealing his history with Dan and more. Hope you enjoy.)


I turned left on Lincoln Street. The smell of smoke from the factories a few blocks away burned my lungs but I didn’t pull up the window. The smell had already entered my car, no use trying to block it out now.

Driving at night relaxes me. The lights from the cars and businesses and streetlights contrasting the night’s darkness. The moon shining bright, a beacon of hope.

The mural I’d started tonight was for a baby boy, yet to be born. The mother wants me to paint the planets and stars on the ceiling, right above where she plans to place the boy’s crib. I don’t like her much. She insists I don’t paint Pluto. Poor Pluto. I’ll probably paint it anyways.

I pulled into my driveway. Turning off the engine, I sat for a moment, but only moment, because that’s when I saw him coming out of my house. Dan. Before I could even blink, my body was out of the car and racing towards him.

-

I turned off the car’s engine and groaned. My job at one of the local factories was taking a toll on my body, my bones achy and my muscles sore. I hopped out of the car and headed inside my house.

Once in I could faintly hear voices, two people arguing. I recognized one of the voices as my sixteen year old brother Christopher. Making sure to be quiet, I walked up the stair and stood by my brother’s bedroom door.

“It’s just a game!” Christopher cried.

“Shut up, faggot. I should’ve won that race and you know it.”

“I’m sorry! Please don’t do this again!”

I shoved the door open, not caring as it slammed against the wall. My brother sat on the floor with a game controller in hand, his face flooded with tears. I looked up at Dan who held my brother’s shirt with one hand and had made a fist with the other, like he was getting ready to strike him.

Seconds later I was on top of Dan, my palms around his throat.

“How long has he been hurting you?” I yelled at my brother as I stared into Dan’s eyes, too furious to let him out of my sight. It took my brother a second to figure out I was talking to him.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe a few months.” He choked out.

“A few months?!” I heard an edge in my voice that scared even me.

That is when it hit me. My brother had broken his arm three months before. According to him, he and Dan had been wrestling, but had it been on purpose? Memories of noticing cuts and bruises on my brother flowed through my head, most of them came with a lame, vague story. Had they all been lies? Had I been stupid and blind this whole time?

My palms tightened around Dan’s throat. I knew at this point I’d lost control but I couldn’t care. He’d hurt my baby brother.

Dan’s angry eyes began to twitch now, only a matter of time before he was gone.

“Liam, stop! He’s going to die!” Christopher’s voice was weak, almost nonexistent. “Stop! Liam, stop!”

The back of my head pained suddenly and darkness clouded my mind. My body grew numb as I fell to the floor. Tears ran down my face.

-

I grabbed Dan and tossed him down on the lawn. “Why are you here?” I screamed, sitting on his torso to make sure he couldn’t run away.

The fright on his face couldn’t be hidden. “I wanted to apologize to Christopher.”

“I told you to fuck off.”

“Please don’t hurt me.”

“You should’ve stayed away.”

“I just wanted to talk. That’s all.”

My breathing was quick yet deep. My fists pushed against the grass around his head. I told myself to stop and calm down. I told myself not to make the same mistake twice.

Two arms yanked at body, attempting to get me off of Dan. I didn’t turn around but I heard my father say, “Liam…you don’t want to do this. Not again.”

-

“The judge has agreed not to sentence Liam to prison but at a price.” The lawyer adjusted his tie as my family and I waited for him to continue. He looked nervous. “He has to stay in a mental institution for six months and work on his anger problems.”

“Six months?!” my father nearly yelled.

“Yes, six months. It’s the best I can do.” The lawyer stirred his coffee and cautiously took a sip. “It could be much worse. We’re lucky to be getting this. After all, your son nearly killed a boy.”

I stirred my coffee, inhaling the scent. I could never drink the stuff but enjoyed the strong scent.

“Ok,” I said, “Six months.”

-

“I’m sorry.” Dan mumbled. He was weeping. “Go ahead. Hit me. Choke me. Give me whatever it is you think I deserve.”

His eyes…they were different than last time. He wasn’t the same punk I nearly killed. He was changed. I could see it in his eyes. He was a different person.

I stood up and pushed my father’s hands off of me. I looked one last time at Dan before walking towards the house.

-

The last day. That was all I could think of. Today was my last day of being stuck in here, I’d finally be leaving. The six months had been slow but helpful.

I was pulling on my shirt when a knock came from the door. A short Mexican woman opened it and came in the room, holding two cups. The tiny one had my pill and the bigger one held water. I took them from her and swallowed my pill, sticking out my tongue to show her it went down my throat.

“Are you happy to be going home?” She asked.

“I’m nervous but happy.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a strong boy. Don’t forget to paint. I know it helps you a lot.” Smiling, she pinched my cheek and walked out of the room. Maria was a nice woman. Married and had two little girls. She seemed to be the only person there who genuinely cared for me, which I appreciated.

She had taught me how to paint during my six months. I had a natural talent for it, she said. I don’t know if that were true but each stroke of the brush quieted my demons, so I wasn’t going to argue. I enjoyed painting, especially with her by my side.

I slipped off my tan hospital socks (which had little rubber bumps on the bottom of them) and dropped them into my bag. I pulled on a pair of regular white socks and then a pair of shoes. I hadn’t gotten to wear shoes in months, since this hospital had a strict policy against them. Apparently someone had used the shoe’s laces to kill themselves with.

After double checking I had gotten all my things and zipping my bag up, I headed out the door.

-

I walked into my house and spotted Christopher and my mother standing by the window, their worried eyes glued to me. I looked away and walked upstairs to my room. I didn’t want them to see the sadness on my face.

Locking my bedroom door, I turned on my stereo and then went straight for my closet, grabbing my art supplies. I dropped everything onto my desk and hastily began painting. I had no clue what I was painting but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I had a paint brush in my hand and colors flowing onto the paper.


-


(Author's note: this chapter was really intense for me to write. haha This is the most I've cared about making a chapter perfect, and while it isn't perfect, I tried my best and I'm happy with it. :) )
 
Enjoying this story! Keep up the good work!!!
 
That was an intense chapter, Woody. I like the flashbacks interwoven with the present. It really represents the angst and mental frustrations that Liam faces. Christopher is extremely lucky to have such a protective brother. It will be interesting to hear about the changes Dan has made in his life. We all have demons of some sort within us, it's just that most of us can control them. Hoping to read more soon.

Craiger
 
Hello everyone!

It's been a few weeks since I last posted a chapter, sadly. I've been crazy busy with family and other things but I'll try to post one by this weekend. I already have an outline for it, now I just have to write it. :)
 
Part Eleven​


It had been five days since I watched Liam walk into his room. He came out only to use the bathroom, refusing to eat or talk to my parents and I. I only caught a glimpse of him last night as he raced from the bathroom and back to his room. He had had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days.

Steve sat with me in my bedroom, both of us trying to think of a way to get him to come out and talk.

“I just want to know that he’s ok in there.” Steve held back his tears as he said this. Five days was a lot of time for them. The two friends typically talked to each other at least once a day, seeing each other most days.

“I’m sure he’ll come out soon…I mean…he has to eventually.” I sighed, worried about my brother.

“I…I want to try talking to him again.” Steve jumped off my bed and quickly walked out of my room and to Liam’s door. “Liam…please come out. I miss you so much and I’m worried about you…I want to see you and talk to you and…just please, PLEASE come out.”

We stood in silence, hoping to hear something other than my brother’s music. When nothing came, Steve punched the door and cried even harder. I tried to pull him towards my room but he easily pushed me off, ran down the stairs and out the front door.

I ran after him, catching up about a block away from my house.

“Calm down, Steve.”

“I’m ok, Christopher.” He slowed down now to a walking pace.

“He’ll be out of there soon. I’m sure of it. He has to.”

“I know but I don’t want to wait. I can’t. He’s my best friend. He’s…he means everything to me and knowing that he’s in there in pain and I can’t do anything to help hurts too much.” Steve stood in place now, looking at me.

I didn’t know what to say, so I wrapped my arms around him. He continued to cry and we stood there on the sidewalk hugging for a while.


-


Steve and I entered my house. It took us less than a second to realize there was no music playing. We began racing upstairs when we heard Liam’s laugh come from the kitchen. We ran back towards the kitchen and saw Liam sitting on a stool, staring at us with a slight grin on his face.

Before I could blink, Steve had his arms around him and was giving him a long kiss. Liam broke the kiss with a chuckle.

“Can you let me finish my sandwich first? I’d rather not pass out from lack of food.” It was then I saw the food in his hand.

“Sorry.” Steve took a step back and blushed.

We watched Liam as he tried not to shove the entire sandwich down his throat. When he was done, he turned back to us and grinned again.

“We were worried about you!” I complained.

“I know. And I’m sorry. I needed time to think and heal. But I’m feeling a lot better now.”

I gave him a quick hug, knowing soon enough Steve would be all over him. I was right, watching as they made out, Steve sitting on his lap.

“Get a room!” I playfully shouted.

“That’s a good idea!” Liam stood up and walked upstairs to his room, carrying Steve the whole time.


-


Sitting on the floor of my bedroom, I stared at my phone, thinking of Gordon. It had been two weeks since he left and I hadn’t gotten a single phone call or text. I hadn’t let myself contact him because I knew he needed time to figure himself out but still…two weeks of nothing.

I picked up my phone and clicked on his name. I decided I didn’t care anymore. He owed me at least a phone call saying he was alright and safe.

I listened closely but there was no ring, only a prerecorded message telling me the phone number didn’t exist anymore.

I shook my head and mumbled, “No, no, no…,” and tried calling again. The same message played and I couldn’t help throwing my phone across the room and onto my desk chair. “Fuck this.”

Gordon had abandoned me. I felt a strong combination of hurt and anger.


-


“Let’s go to a gay club.” Steve said when I told him about my call to Gordon. He was lying in Liam’s bed with him. I could tell they were both shirtless but a blanket covered them from the waist down, so I didn’t know if they were completely naked under there.

“Yeah, that’ll get your mind off of Gordon.” Liam replied.

“Maybe. It does sound like fun.” I watched as Steve’s hand moved under the blanket towards Liam. It landed somewhere between his legs. “Are you guys a couple now?” I couldn’t resist asking.

Steve glanced at Liam who smiled and said, “Yup. We decided to give it a real go.” Then he turned and they kissed, their hands moving around under the blanket. They continued to kiss and touch each other until I cleared my throat.

“Sorry.” Liam blushed.

“Don’t worry about it. I’d be doing the same if I had someone.” Before the room became awkward I added, “So what time should we leave the house?”

“Eight should be fine. I know a club not very far from here.” Steve answered, and I noticed his hand crawling back towards my brother’s thighs.


-


I splashed water onto my face and looked in the mirror. The bathroom at the club was surprisingly nice and smelled like it had just been cleaned. I dried my face and hands with a paper towel and walked out, trying to force myself to feel confident.

Most of the guys at the club were hot and a few were downright sexy. I usually thought I was decent looking but, compared to these guys, I felt like the freaking elephant man.

I didn’t see my brother or Steve anywhere, so I went to the bar and ordered a shot. I scoped out the dance floor and saw them dancing close to each other. To the right of them was a man dancing alone. He looked a few years older than me and was really hot. I watched his hips sway until he noticed me. I quickly turned away but allowed myself to look back only a second later. He looked like he was laughing and motioned for me to join him. Not sure what to do, I nodded and turned back towards the bar. After downing my shot of vodka, I jumped off the barstool and nervously walked towards him.

“Don’t be so nervous,” were his first words to me. I could feel my cheeks turn red as I danced with him. “You’re a pretty good dancer.”

“Thanks,” I said, “so are you.” I wanted to talk but couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was grateful when he spoke again.

“What’s your name?”

“Christopher.”

“I like that name.”

“What about yours?”

He thought for a moment and said, “You can call me R.”

“Why don’t you wanna tell me your name?”

“Well,” he sighed, “it’s kind of a stupid name.”

“Oh, come on. I promise not to laugh.”

“Nope. How about this: if we still talk after tonight, I’ll tell you it.” He said with a grin.

“Hmm…ok. But you can’t blame me if I only call you tomorrow to find out your name!” I joked.


-


I sat in the backseat of Liam’s truck, tipsy and happy. R and I had exchanged numbers and I had a good feeling about him.

“Thanks, guys.” I sat up and kissed my brother and his boyfriend on the cheek.

“Thanks for what?” asked Liam.

“For bringing me out tonight. I had a great time.”

“So did we. And it was nice seeing you have some fun after these stressful couple of weeks.”
 
Glad to see Liam and Steve are a couple. And even more to see Christopher has met someone new. I can't imagine what name starts with R and is so stupid, but it was certainly a good come on line.....:-) Glad to have the update, Woody

Craiger
 
A good chapter..
Nice to read that Liam was back happy again, plus that him & Steve are boyfriends :)


Also be interesting to see what comes of 'R'
 
Still enjoying this story. Keep it coming!
 
Hey guys. I apologize for not having posted any new chapters. There have been many things going on in my life but, in all honesty, I wasn't sure where to take the story either. I've had many ideas but nothing clicks 100% yet.

I'd like to continue the story soon but first I want to know if anyone else still wants to read it. If a few people say they do, I'll try to get back to writing. I have a lot on my plate still but I'd like to continue/finish this story up if I know others want to read it.
 
It is a good story and I'm sure many more will read it than comment. It is one of the few that I follow on here. Your update gave me hope there was already a new chapter.
 
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