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At what age do you want to "settle down"?

When do you want to be 'settled down'?

  • 18-25

    Votes: 5 9.3%

  • 25-30

    Votes: 17 31.5%

  • 30-35

    Votes: 16 29.6%

  • 35-40+

    Votes: 16 29.6%
  • Total voters
    54
S

saymyname

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I feel like this topic is kind of taboo in the gay community. Maybe it's a number of reasons. Up until relatively recently, gay people didn't really have the option of settling down (by which I mean, stay in a committed relationship, not necessarily be married, but just be with the person you plan on being with forever, whatever you want to call that). It seems like there is a lot of pressure to be single longer. As a younger guy, I definitely feel like wanting to be in a LTR too young is looked down upon. Most straight people I've known from back home (small town) got married in their twenties, which I think is so early, but then I think about it and wonder if dating would even be fun in my 30's. But I'm 21, so that's impossible to imagine, in a way.

Anyways, vote! And discuss. I'll answer later. I'm not being very coherent right now.
 
I voted 35-40+

Right now, I haven't even gone through my slutty stage (though I really want to) so a serious relationship is one of the last things on my mind. But I would like one someday.

And I personally feel settling down in your 20s is way to young. I mean if you have done it at that age great. But the younger you settle, the greater the chance the relationship will end.

And even 30s is looking kinda young. Humans have an average life expectancy of about 70 years. Still plenty of time to discover new things and try new stuff. The body may not be young as it once was, but its still pretty durable (I hope) And I'll hopefully have a nice boyfriend to try new things with.

40 to me looks about right. By that time, hopefully I will have tried everything I wanted to do, and will just be looking for some quiet in my life and a "partner" to enjoy my life with.

Of course, as I grow older, technology and medicine will probably keep me feeling young so I'll probably be just as wild and just as spontaneous. Who knows if I will settle down.

Personally LTR are nice, but they are not the ultimate goal in my mind. The goal is to find somebody who compliments your life at that point in time. Like in my mind it could the open relationship when your 20. The monogamous relationship when your 30 but filled with threesomes. Or maybe just the standard monogamous relationship. Or the LTR when or if you get to that stage.
 
46 and not holding my breath. I'm set in my ways, not sure I want to "settle down" because I like a lot of "me" time.

Though I'd love a monogamous relationship with someone without actually living together.

And then there's the fact that it's harder for me to find someone in the first place cause I'm not a cute twink anymore. Alas, the world is NOT my oyster!:mrgreen:
 
I voted for 35-40+, but really, I don't think it's something you simply plan like that. I'd like settling down when I meet something I truly love, and it's worth settling down with. It's impossible to know when/if it will happen.
 
It all depends on the goals you've set and where you are in life. I could have settled down yesterday. The type of person you're with is important. Soul-mate level thinking would make me want to ditch the exploratory single days in a heart beat.
 
Hmm. Interesting responses so far.

I think SilverWolf illustrates most of what I disagree with (no offence).

Maybe it's a younger generation thing. But for me, it's been like this: 19 through 20ish - boys boys boys boys boys. Slutty phase? Check. Mini relationships, flings, etc.? All there. And then some. Had my fun with all that (probably still more to come). 20 through 21 - first big relationship. And that ended for various reasons. But now I'm at a point where I don't really want to jump right back into dating, and I don't need another slut phase either. I realized that I actually really liked being in a relationship. I like love. Sure, it didn't work out, but I just realized that I like relationships more than being a single stud, that's all. So now that that's all over with, I can't imagine just keep going in that cycle over and over again. And I also have a big issue with the idea of settling down with a guy later because we're too young to do it now. I mean, for one thing, I'd like to find a really handsome mate when we're both really handsome, that way when I'm older, I don't wonder what the fuck I did with my good looks. Right now, I'm thinking about 28. I don't see the point of dating around and sleeping around in my 30's, but then again, I'm not even attracted to guys that age yet, so maybe I'll feel different about it then.
 
Never! I probably won't ever find the right guy or girl. :(
 
-Callum- said:
I'm not one to provide advice, but...the first thing you say to the prospective 'right one' shouldn't be "I'm here about the blowjob". :p
Click to expand...

hahahaha, I just think the avatar is funny. I'm not really like that in reality. :D
 
That's the thing I fear the most. I'm not sure if I'll find the perfect man ever...but I hope I do before 30.
 
I wanted to settle down when I was just a kid, before I even realized I was gay.

Needless to say that complicated things.
 
thisisinteresting said:
I don't really plan on conventionally settling down. I don't really plan much. Perhaps this will change.
Click to expand...

I felt that way too, before I fell in love. When you're with someone that you think you could love forever (even if it's not right, or things change) you'd be surprised how much your feelings on it can change. I was very against the assimilationist tendencies in the gay movement today. But I realized it wasn't political, when I was in love, I very much thought about 'forever' with that person... We'd talk/joke around about what it'd be like when we're older, complaining about jobs in the wash room together, where we'd want to live, what kind of house... I know it's corny, but when you're in love with someone, that's such a nice feeling. Or maybe I am just destined to be a housewife.
 
I wanted to settle down from Junior High on. Didn't realize I was gay then, though. I just knew I wanted to be Ward Cleaver. Now I'm doubting I'll find "The One."
 
saymyname said:
I feel like this topic is kind of taboo in the gay community. Maybe it's a number of reasons. Up until relatively recently, gay people didn't really have the option of settling down (by which I mean, stay in a committed relationship, not necessarily be married, but just be with the person you plan on being with forever, whatever you want to call that). It seems like there is a lot of pressure to be single longer. As a younger guy, I definitely feel like wanting to be in a LTR too young is looked down upon. Most straight people I've known from back home (small town) got married in their twenties, which I think is so early, but then I think about it and wonder if dating would even be fun in my 30's. But I'm 21, so that's impossible to imagine, in a way.

Anyways, vote! And discuss. I'll answer later. I'm not being very coherent right now.
Click to expand...

In my early 20's, I was growing up in major Canadian cities in the 1990's. There was zero pressure for straight people to settle down. In fact, I have a friend from work whose girlfriend moved down to the states and married an American. I heard her talk about all the stories from her friend's new circle of friends in the states, and I was absolutely amazed at how many young straight Americans were getting married soo sooo young. Made no sense to me.

My crowd were maybe in stable relationships, but none of them even thought about converting those relationships into marriages until they were around 30 - minimum. And by then we had equal marriage for gays, pretty much, so I never really felt like we were on a different playing field. Now my straight friends are all in their mid 30's and starting to have a kid or two. It is totally different than what I have heard about in the states, and different than in Canada where it seems a lot more similar for straights and gays.

Why do straight americans get hitched so incredibly young? Any thoughts?
 
bankside said:
Why do straight americans get hitched so incredibly young? Any thoughts?
Click to expand...

Because the bible tells us to. Anything else is devious lifestyle that is a sin before God's eyes.

Haven't they put the fear of the Lord in you Canadian folks? Don't you know your devious lifestyles and perverted marriages (gay marriages) will bring down the fire and brimstone on your heads? Never mind that it hasn't happened and you folks seem to be doing just fine.
 
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