Attracted to straight men (majority)

[weinerslav]

I'm not saying anything about not being attracted to straight guys. I am attracted to a lot of straight guys.

Oh sorry, my bad

 

[desertboi]

Oh sorry, my bad

No problem

 

[Rolyo85]

Totally agree with JustMe5

1.[\B] I don't understand why people feel the need to kleep saying how weird is to like or fantasize with "straight" guys, I don't care if they are straight, for me they are men, I don't really care what they like, they are hot and that's it, isn't that the essence of watching porn or looking to a guy's ass/pecks/face in a public place? You're objectifying a person, for is body and look, and not trying to have a meaningful relationship.

2.[\B] Rolyo, if you don't fancy a insanely hot guy just because he is straight, that seems very weird to me, or you also don't fancy insanely hot gay guys that you know you'd never a chance with (I'm just pointing to an hypothesis, is not very relevant if you manage to get everybody you want), since, you know, you wouldn't have a chance with him either... I'm not trying to instigate anything, I'm just asking since if being straight is an impediment to see someone sexually, the possibility of having or not someone should work as an impediment to see the sexual side too, because, honestly I'm not able to control lust in the same way.

3.[\B]Apparently, for what I understand, the discussion shifted from lusting for a type of guy (stereotyped or not) to a disease where people only like a guy if they he is straight? Is this correct or I'm getting it all wrong?

1. Objectifying a guy regardless of sexuality is one thing - and totally fine. Desiring STRAIGHT guys specifically, and having fantasies about STRAIGHT guys specifically, THAT'S what I have a problem with, and that's what we've been talking about - not liking guys discriminate lot as you're implying here.

2. Knowing a guy is sexually compatible with me makes all the difference in the world. But once a guy is proven unattainable for me, I kind of lose interest, regardless of sexuality. I guess straight guys are there by default.

3. That's part of it I guess

 

[weinerslav]

Ok, so, since that as been brought here (even if I feel it's not related to the topic) I would like to tell a bit more about the Latin/Macho culture...

Well, there are a lot of Brazilian pre-op transexuals that go to Italy to prostitute themselves so they can buy a sex change operation, it's sad but is truth, apparently there is a huge market for them there, Italian guys are all macho acting and want a guy but don't want be called gay or be in any way see there masculinity threatened, so the prostitutes have to be feminine and very careful with what they say because if they turn and say, "so, do you want me to f*** your ass" they are beaten to near death. I don't know if this still happens frequently but it was happening big time a few years ago and I'm sure it's relatively easy to find info about that since even documentaries have been made about this issue.

This is the exact opposite, don't you feel that this is real homophobia? Having a man that looks like a woman to kill the sexual need? I still feel that gay guys that like "straight men only" are no worse than someone addicted to porn, out of this reality, yes, a disease, but not homophobia, otherwise they would reject the masculine, not the feminine.

 

[Callum]

In my experience, gay guys who crush on straight guys have some or all of the following problems:

- are closeted
- have not come to terms with being gay
- see being gay as less than being straight
- occasionally use the term "normal" to describe straight men
- think that being feminine is the worst thing in the world
- have never had any sort of relationship
- are virgin

Not being snarky. If anyone recognizes themselves in any of the above, feel free to speak and we can talk about what it is that you're running away from in your pursuit of the less fortunate and less attractive branch of manhood - the sad heterosexual males

Incoherent mess to follow as I'm deprived of...everything due to exam season, ha! I abhor the word 'breeders' and I find it extremely offensive. Same with 'faggots' or 'niggers'. Absolutely awful words.

I'm 1/7 of those listed. I still crush on straight guys, although I fully understand/rationalize it's not a "reality" for me. My best friend is straight and I have fleeting moments where I find him physically attractive. Also, our personalities are extremely similar so it's probably 50/50 narcissism on my own end anyhow. But it ends at that. The fact that straight men are straight isn't the turn-on (I will however watch straight porn at times just because I find it fascinating, haha). I like men in general...but the hard-on doesn't immediately die when I discover they're hetero, however. So, I don't fall into your categorization of problems.

Well, perhaps I'm 1.5/7. I don't think being feminine is the worst thing in the world, but if you don't like camping in the wilderness/getting filthy, rock climbing - or generic male activities typically associated with masculinity - without your cell phone, Burberry, Golden Girls collection and/or complete Lana Del Rey discography* we likely aren't going to click. I don't feel that enjoying specific gender roles within someone is a negative attribute, however. I am also a 'male feminist' and fully support men in drag/transexuals and the likes because I'm fully aware how vocal they've been for our LGBT rights when 'straight-acting men' historically have not.

* Disclaimer: I love Burberry, Lana Del Rey, Golden Girls and my iPhone. Not hating on anyone that obsesses, I just know when to abandon them.

 

[newbored]

I don't understand why people feel the need to keep saying how weird is to like or fantasize with "straight" guys, I don't care if they are straight, for me they are men, I don't really care what they like, they are hot and that's it, isn't that the essence of watching porn or looking to a guy's ass/pecks/face in a public place? You're objectifying a person, for is body and look, and not trying to have a meaningful relationship.


Apparently, for what I understand, the discussion shifted from lusting for a type of guy (stereotyped or not) to a disease where people only like a guy if they he is straight? Is this correct or I'm getting it all wrong?

Again, spot on.

 

[AngolaZee]

@ Rolyo85 I think you are missing my point, the problem was you tried to create the impression that gay men who are attracted to straight men are abnormal and to you experience

- are closeted
- have not come to terms with being gay
- see being gay as less than being straight
- occasionally use the term "normal" to describe straight men
- think that being feminine is the worst thing in the world
- have never had any sort of relationship
- are virgin

Fair to say that the vast majority of gay people in the world fit that criteria. Just the first criteria alone probably covers 70% of gay people in the world. To use it as an underlying cause for gay men to be attracted to straight men is reaching. Thats all I was saying. Of course there are gay men who love fem guys hell there are straight men who love fem guys. But to make it sound as if it is abnormal for gay men to be attracted to straight men and that such men have one of those underlying issue in your criteria is not logical to me. That is why I introduced masculinity into the topic. Gay men SHOULD be attracted to straight men (obviously this does not exclude gay men being attracted to gay men)

Which leads me to the next issue - fem guys


I noticed a lot of people blow a fuse when people specify that they do not prefer fem guys. I certaily don,t entertain fem guys I find them extemely annoying. Now in your logic you would say this is internalised homophobia blah blah blah. No. Most women dont go around snapping fingers and waving their hands which seems to be the standard intepretation of fem guys. So why should gay men have the mannerisms of a 13 year old high school girl. A lot of it just comes across as attention seeking "Oh look at me I'm gay and proud" which is completely unnecessary and creates a stereotype amongst straight people that gays are overly flamboyant fem type divas. Its just a matter of taste some like them butch some like them feminine, you attempts to tryand potray the former as having some kind of self-esteem issue using your broad criteria was short-sighted

 

[newbored]

Of course there are gay men who love fem guys hell there are straight men who love fem guys. But to make it sound as if it is abnormal for gay men to be attracted to straight men and that such men have one of those underlying issue in your criteria is not logical to me. That is why I introduced masculinity into the topic. Gay men SHOULD be attracted to straight men (obviously this does not exclude gay men being attracted to gay men)

Which leads me to the next issue - fem guys


I noticed a lot of people blow a fuse when people specify that they do not prefer fem guys. I certaily don,t entertain fem guys I find them extemely annoying. Now in your logic you would say this is internalised homophobia blah blah blah. No. Most women dont go around snapping fingers and waving their hands which seems to be the standard intepretation of fem guys. So why should gay men have the mannerisms of a 13 year old high school girl. A lot of it just comes across as attention seeking "Oh look at me I'm gay and proud" which is completely unnecessary and creates a stereotype amongst straight people that gays are overly flamboyant fem type divas. Its just a matter of taste some like them butch some like them feminine, you attempts to tryand potray the former as having some kind of self-esteem issue using your broad criteria was short-sighted

LOL. Quoted For Truth.

 

[AngolaZee]

In short its the masculinity that makes a gay man attracted to a straight men not so much the fact that he is straight. Needless to say there are for more masculine straight men out there than masculine gay men hence very normal to have a higher preference ratio for masculine straight men.

 

[newbored]

In short its the masculinity that makes a gay man attracted to a straight men not so much the fact that he is straight. Needless to say there are for more masculine straight men out there than masculine gay men hence very normal to have a higher preference ratio for masculine straight men.

EXACTLY. Thanks, dude.

 

[seven2go]

That I don't get. For some reason it turns some gay guys on to see "straight" guys fucking. That's just my guess...

I never thought of them as "straight" anyway...straight guys don't fuck guys........to me they're just hot guys getting it on.......

 

[Rolyo85]

@ Rolyo85 I think you are missing my point, the problem was you tried to create the impression that gay men who are attracted to straight men are abnormal and to you experience

Again, that is not what I said. What I said is that it's fine to be attracted to a hot guy, whatever his sexuality, but it is psychologically and emotionally unhealthy to be MORE attracted to him because he is straight, and to consider straight guys to be more desirable. And I stand by this opinion.

Fair to say that the vast majority of gay people in the world fit that criteria. Just the first criteria alone probably covers 70% of gay people in the world. To use it as an underlying cause for gay men to be attracted to straight men is reaching. Thats all I was saying.

I already mentioned this once, and I will repeat it - for MANY closeted guys, crushing on the straight dude is a way to avoid dealing with their sexuality. They can't have him, he can't reciprocate, so they don't actually have to do anything about being gay. It is a serious problem, and you can see it manifested on this very forum once every two weeks or so. No reaching here.

Of course there are gay men who love fem guys hell there are straight men who love fem guys. But to make it sound as if it is abnormal for gay men to be attracted to straight men and that such men have one of those underlying issue in your criteria is not logical to me. That is why I introduced masculinity into the topic. Gay men SHOULD be attracted to straight men (obviously this does not exclude gay men being attracted to gay men)

And again, this implies that straight men are somehow "more" masculine than gay men, as if masculinity can be measured, qualified and quantified. It can't. And while there are more feminine gay guys than feminine straight guys (of which I - being in the arts - have actually met many), a masculine gay guy is in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY "less" masculine than a masculine straight guy. Can you tell me, with a hundred percent certainty that you agree with the above statement? Because I can give you examples from this very topic, of people saying that a masculine straight guy is somehow more "naturally" masculine and more of a real man than a masculine gay guy. Such thoughts have a huge negative impact on us as a group, and on whoever expresses them personally.

Which leads me to the next issue - fem guys

I noticed a lot of people blow a fuse when people specify that they do not prefer fem guys. I certaily don,t entertain fem guys I find them extemely annoying. Now in your logic you would say this is internalised homophobia blah blah blah. No. Most women dont go around snapping fingers and waving their hands which seems to be the standard intepretation of fem guys. So why should gay men have the mannerisms of a 13 year old high school girl. A lot of it just comes across as attention seeking "Oh look at me I'm gay and proud" which is completely unnecessary and creates a stereotype amongst straight people that gays are overly flamboyant fem type divas. Its just a matter of taste some like them butch some like them feminine, you attempts to tryand potray the former as having some kind of self-esteem issue using your broad criteria was short-sighted

1. First of all, as a Grindr veteran, I have seen COUNTLESS "no fems" profiles, and NOT A SINGLE "looking for fems" one. Same for Hornet, Scruff, Asshole4Asshole or any of the others. The ONLY time fems are EVER mentioned, is to tell them to gtfo. So while I can't imagine that there is NOBODY who likes them, the rampant femmephobia in the gay community is certainly harmful.

2. The internalized homophobia is very obvious to me, and kinda funny too (I say this with no sarcasm) - it's evident in that you instantly assume femme guys are making a statement, and areplaying a role that isn't natural to them. Well, living in close proximity to voice and musical theater majors, I can promise you I've had enough close interaction with femme guys to know that for MOST of them, it is just an expression of their personality. Most of those guys don't even care about gay rights or politics. And while part of it is certainly cultural, mostly it's just that they don't have the oppressive norms of heteronormativity to tell them what's "appropriate" for a "real man". I can guarantee you that far more straight men would be more feminine if culture allowed for it. We carry different levels of duality, all of us.

 

[Rolyo85]

In short its the masculinity that makes a gay man attracted to a straight men not so much the fact that he is straight. Needless to say there are for more masculine straight men out there than masculine gay men hence very normal to have a higher preference ratio for masculine straight men.

Is it really needless? No, seriously, can somebody direct me to this Masculinity Measurement Analyzer, because I wanna see what my score would be. What IS masculinity? Please, can anybody list ten qualities that define masculinity? Something to give me a clue what we are even talking about here? Something that "needless to say" so many more straight men per capita are better at than gays?

 

[Rolyo85]

Incoherent mess to follow as I'm deprived of...everything due to exam season, ha! I abhor the word 'breeders' and I find it extremely offensive. Same with 'faggots' or 'niggers'. Absolutely awful words.

I have no beef with the rest of your post, but this I am completely baffled by.

"Breeder" is not the same as "faggot" or "nigger". It is a made up word from a role-reversal movie which is in absolutely NO way mainstream, used usually only AMONG gay people, which I have never met a straight guy that was offended by. Furthermore, any other word you can compare it to is used to attack a minority. By definition, you can't really bully and oppress A MAJORITY, so breeders have neither reason, nor need to be offended by a word that most of them have never even encountered in their lives.

 

[eastofeden]

The straight married guys I used to fuck on a regular basis sometimes had on women's lingerie and other accessories that gay men never had. Cross dressers are usually straight whereas drag queens are usually gay. I assumed they wanted to feel like a woman...but they definitely are not gay. One was a hard core biker who liked wearing fishnet stockings....he was a classic tough guy but under the rough exterior very soft. I used to grin when he stripped because he really got off on his undergarments. Me...not so much...I was neutral....but I liked his body and the sex. So...I am not getting the masculine/feminine thing...probably we all define masculine/feminine differently.

I had an argument once with this one guy and at the end...I realized what he called "masculine"..I thought of as insecure snot nosed asshole which is not masculine IMO. On the other hand...it takes a real secure man to have the balls to wear lingerie IMO.

 

[Callum]

I have no beef with the rest of your post, but this I am completely baffled by.

"Breeder" is not the same as "faggot" or "nigger". It is a made up word from a role-reversal movie which is in absolutely NO way mainstream, used usually only AMONG gay people, which I have never met a straight guy that was offended by. Furthermore, any other word you can compare it to is used to attack a minority. By definition, you can't really bully and oppress A MAJORITY, so breeders have neither reason, nor need to be offended by a word that most of them have never even encountered in their lives.

Just from a personal occurrence at a gay bar with some straight friends. Apparently holding hands at a table is a no-no. The patrons were vitriolic in their disdain for heteros, something I've never seen before. That's where I first learned the term...so I don't care for it, at all. I see no positive connotations associated with the word.

 

[Rolyo85]

The straight married guys I used to fuck on a regular basis sometimes had on women's lingerie and other accessories that gay men never had. Cross dressers are usually straight whereas drag queens are usually gay. I assumed they wanted to feel like a woman...but they definitely are not gay. One was a hard core biker who liked wearing fishnet stockings....he was a classic tough guy but under the rough exterior very soft. I used to grin when he stripped because he really got off on his undergarments. Me...not so much...I was neutral....but I liked his body and the sex. So...I am not getting the masculine/feminine thing...probably we all define masculine/feminine differently.

Actually, we call those "closet cases", and they are totally gay. I see no claim to heterosexuality there. If you do, please elaborate.

I had an argument once with this one guy and at the end...I realized what he called "masculine"..I thought of as insecure snot nosed asshole which is not masculine IMO. On the other hand...it takes a real secure man to have the balls to wear lingerie IMO.

This has kind of been my point for a while now.

 

[Rolyo85]

Just from a personal occurrence at a gay bar with some straight friends. Apparently holding hands at a table is a no-no. The patrons were vitriolic in their disdain for heteros, something I've never seen before. That's where I first learned the term...so I don't care for it, at all. I see no positive connotations associated with the word.

Positive? Not really, though I use it exclusively jokingly, and with some friends even affectionate, the way I'd call a friend "dummy". It's an insult, but not used as one.

And frankly, what you describe at that bar, is a situation that I have NEVER encountered, and I live in fucking Boystown, Chicago. It's full of straight people in our bars, and nobody is ever hostile to them, openly or behind their backs. The opposite is true - total mixing and friendliness. Maybe in some bitter smalltown gay bar which is the only escape from vitriolic homophobia, I could see such a thing happen there. But as I said, I've never experienced it myself.

 

[eastofeden]

Actually, we call those "closet cases", and they are totally gay. I see no claim to heterosexuality there. If you do, please elaborate.

The ones I am referring to are both emotionally and sexually attracted to women....much like gay men are emotionally and sexually attracted to men.

I 100% beleive this because as a gay man...I had sex with women myself on numerous occasions...and I was not the least bit straight...I was just a slut.

 

[Rolyo85]

The ones I am referring to are both emotionally and sexually attracted to women....much like gay men are emotionally and sexually attracted to men.

I 100% beleive this because as a gay man...I had sex with women myself on numerous occasions...and I was not the least bit straight...I was just a slut.

Oh, sure, when a gay guy has sex with women, that's one thing. But it is not the same in both directions, simply because society is heteronormative. Opposite-gender sex is the norm. So everyone who can, partakes in it. I am very disinclined to believe that when it comes to supposedly straight men who want to GET fucked on a regular basis. Heterosexual males don't really want dick up their ass. And are you in their heads, to know that they are emotionally and sexually attracted to women? A Kinsey 4 is still gay to me, whether he has sex with women, or not.