Bad Relationship or No Relationship?

[Riverrick]

Which would you rather be in? A bad relationship or no relationship?

I've been in both. No relationship is really tough. It means either doing everything alone or dating repeatedly, hoping to click with someone. For some people that may come naturally but for others of us it doesn't.

But I've been in bad relationships also. You know, the kind where you feel totally trapped and start fantasizing about what it would be like to be single and meeting other guys or at least just not living with that deadbeat of a bf. I've been in a relationship also that wasn't terrible, but I just had trouble staying in love.

The thing about the sort of bad relationships is that theoretically you could work on them. But trying to find Mr. Right when you're alone means starting all over and could mean never finding him.

What's your choice?

 

[Spiff]

I'd rather be in no relationship. But have a dog.

 

[dave_63]

I'd much rather no relationship than a bad one

 

[cozmik]

I've been in bad relationships. I've been (and am) single. I can honestly say that I'd rather be single than in a bad relationship.

 

[dkonfrost]

yeah, i would rather be single than stuck in a dead-end relationship.

life is tough enough as it is, i don't need to add a bad relationship to further complicate things.

and besides, if i'm single, that just means i get to socialize more

 

[chatolandia]

Es mejor estar solo que mal acompañado.

It's better to be alone than in bad company.

 

[spikethecat]

Es mejor estar solo que mal acompañado.

It's better to be alone than in bad company.

but when I am alone I am still in bad company!!!!

 

[Bruce300]

No relationship is better than a bad one. I've had two long term relationships with men. The first one was 9 years, (the last two years were really bad). When we moved apart, he didn't go a month before moving in with another guy. (he's a serial monogomist). I also felt he couldn't ever stand being alone wirh himself, always surrounded by groups of friends, always busy, busy (with not much time spent with me at the end) I thought I would hate not being in a relationship, but you have to learn to love yourself. I may be alone right now, but I'm not lonely. I would never stay in a bad relationship just to have someone around, life's too short to be miserable.

 

[nijuusei]

what's 'bad' ? 'cos i don't mind a bit of trouble ^.-
though if you don't like each other anymore..
i guess it's time to split up..
no shame in that..
all stories have their ending..
sow yeah..
i guess i'd rather be alone..
if it's a lost cause..

 

[hermanding]

a bad relationship poisons EVERYTHING
ding

 

[eddielee]

I'm a loner, so I'd rather be by myself. A bad relationship is...bad.

 

[luminum]

I don't have trouble being on my own. So I'd rather be in no relationship than a bad one. I'd love to be in a good relationship, though. Though relationships make some things more complicated because you're now devoted to the world that encompasses the two of you instead of just your world, a good one is worth it and makes things easier than a terrible relationship that simultaneously binds and restricts you.

 

[Riverrick]

Hmmn, I kind of thought there might be one person who said that they can't stand to be alone and that they want a bf so bad that they don't care what he's like. But so far no one has said this.

I know its kind of a no brainer that most of us wouldn't want to be in a bad relationship but I can tell you that being alone isn't a cup of tea either. Without a bf there are a lot of other things in my life that I don't do since I don't have built in company to do them with. You know, like go to plays and restaurants and concerts.

I too would choose alone over a bad relationship. Been there, done that, hated it. But neither choice is a wonderful thing.

 

[miaplacidus]

I don't know now (I'm in a good relationship at last), but I used to be in very bad relationships with straight guys who only wanted to get their rocks off.

 

[Fallen1984]

With many wonderful friends and family members nearby, and plenty of hobbies, activities, etc, to keep me busy, I would never compromise the life I have now for a relationship that was anything less than passable. And even then . . . I get so much joy from my own life . . . why get dragged down by someone else's?

[Don't get me wrong, I'm looking for prince charming 24/7, but I won't tolerate a "bad" relationship under any circumstances]

 

[screwnutty]

For me it's better to be alone then in a bad relationship. Plus I'm 31 years old now...I've pretty much made peace with the fact that I'm just one of these statics that is meant to be alone.

It's not bad...but you get use to it!

 

[woaini]

I've experienced before~ Now either I start new or I'm alone~

 

[Theyoungman]

WEll here something you should take into consideration...

A bad relationship can get worse, very much worse. Or it can get better, but will most likely not happen.

No relatoinship is a safe bet. SO find someone else.

 

[teh_nathan]

A good relationship would be nice but I don't see that happening anytime soon. In my desperation to meet new friends, I've generally come dickheads who pretend to be nice.

I've been in bad relationships. I've even been the cause of one of them.

So I'll take none, I'm used to none though I don't particularly like it.

Though I do have friends and family to keep me busy, my only complaint is not enough friends.

 

[Riverrick]

Thanks for the posts, guys. Yeah, bad relationships are quite a learning experience. And I don't necessarily mean just guys who are psychotic or something. I mean even a shared bad relationship, where we are both at fault for it not working but seem to be unable to correct it and so linger on feeling blah.

As for being the cause, I always take 50% blame. After all, I was attracted to the guy in the first place, including the very features that I later hated. So no one's totally innocent in these situations. I always try to learn and grow so that I don't repeat the same mistakes again.