bagley - Archived Blog Posts

[bagley]

This is a blurb from "Pam's House Blend" a blog I read every day...She is a out lesbian of "colour" and lives in Durham, North Carolina. This is about the defrocking of Elizabeth Stroud..in Pennsylvania.

Personal pain over lesbian minister's defrocking

Elizabeth Stroud, a Methodist minister, was defrocked by the United Methodist Church's top court for having an open lesbian relationship. (Tim Shaffer/Reuters)

Kathy over at Birmingham Blues has a personal perspective on the recent decision by the Judicial Council of the United Methodist Church to defrock Rev. Beth Stroud because she is in a committed relationship with another woman. The United Methodist Church accepts gay and lesbian ministers -- as long as they remain celibate. Kathy's heart aches:
And now I find myself in a dilemma. The church has made me angry before. The church has disappointed me. The church has failed me and others. But I always thought there was the possibility of change, of progress, of transformation. My congregation has loved me and infuriated me and taken care of me and my family. My children have run the halls of our church since they were babies, and they think of it as a second home. I don’t want to leave it, but I don’t see an alternative.

I can’t be part of a denomination that would deny my own brother membership because he doesn’t believe his sexual orientation is sinful. I can’t be part of a denomination with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for clergy. And I certainly can’t be part of a denomination that has so perverted the ideals of its founder that the quadrilateral authority of scripture, reason, tradition, and experience has been usurped by a Judicial Council that won’t allow us to think for ourselves.

So I must make a painful decision. Do I leave and let my family stay where they are known and loved, or do I insist that we all find a church that truly does have the open hearts, open minds, and open doors that the United Methodist Church claims? Or do I decide to try one more time, two more times, a thousand more times to work for change from within?
I highly recommend that you surf over to her post, God Must Be Weeping.

Also, see Ms. Julien's post on the decision, where she asks the pertinent question, "I wonder if any of the members of the Judicial Council were wearing mixed fabric when they gave her the boot for violating Leviticus?" [END QUOTE]

MY THOUGHTS:

The main response of American Christian Churches to any minority status or "difference" has usually been one of hostility. The question of Race and Slavery split many American churches. The people of color who became Christian in an earlier America had to face a harsh reality. These people of color were less "worthy" than the lily white ones. Many white Christians used the Bible to justify slavery and the segregation by color. The Methodists were no exception. Because of the treatment within the methodist church many "blacks" formed their own denominations...i.e. AME or CME. The Methodist Church itself split over slavery. Those departing called themselves The Methodist Episcopal Church, South. They rejoined the main Methodist Church in the middle of the 20th century.

My thought here is not to combine issues...but to show the inherent reactionary condition of the Amerikan churches. It really doesn't matter to Amerikan Church leaders what an obscure prophet taught 2,000 years ago in Israel/Palestine. I think what matters to the Amerikan Church is NUMBERS. Fat collection plates, large soulless buildings and lots of programs to bring in Numbers.....this the goal of the Amerikan Churches. The large NUMBERS equate to success and political power. Christianity has usually sought political power.....(ah the baptism of Clovis and the mass baptism of the Franks) over the inner spiritual and mystical conversion.

I think the real reason why Elizabeth Stroud was defrocked was the need for the United Methodist Church to stop the hemorage of it's numbers. For decades the United Methodists have been shedding huge amounts of numbers........I think the judicial board sought to stop this "issue of blood" by sacrificing a Lesbian.

I say to all Queer/Gay/Lesbian/Dyke Christians , "Come Out of Her My People".......or Riot in the Aisle....at the Communion........in the dry dull sermon...just prophesy..you have nothing to loose.

 

[bagley]

I am obsessed with religion, the occult, Spiritism, and Magick. I come from a family obsessed with by these same things. Strange spiritual and religious people pepper both sides of my family tree as far back as I can trace..( early 17th century) I know of two women who are my direct grandmothers that were accused, tried and hanged as witches and two more women who were tried as witches, but acquitted. And my genealogy contains a of course a lot of clergymen, too.
My direct link to these people is mostly through my maternal grandmother, who was a medium/spiritual healer/ spell caster. She never shared her incantations with me, but taught them to my little brother..who then taught me a few...I know now they are from a famous spell book "The Keys of Solomon"..mixed with some psalm magick...her other spells are Bible verses ( mainly from the Psalms) which were read backwards in a mirror...(?) ... We often held seances at my Grans house and had some "events" happen which I never could explain. When I was 15 (mid 1960's) I began to practice candle magick/lust magick in secret .....mainly to get boyfriends......I also invoked Lucifer....and the spells seemed to work. At the same time my sister came out to me as a witch...I never told her about my spell work..mainly because I was embarrassed because my spells were mainly to get boyfriends....

In 1968 some one(?) sent me some bizarre prophecy scrolls by a preacher named Neil Frisbey..about the impending doom facing Amerika..Jesus was coming back and he was sure pissed...One of the first scroll I got in the mail..was a prophecy targeting Lucifer worshipping spell casting faggots...after all it was 1968...Apocalypse... reading these scrolls really frightened me..During this same interval I also met a hippie Jesus freak named John (while I was cruising the park) and his freaky wife...the wife had been "the witch queen" of the area....and John had cast the demons of Hell out of her..........after several months of attending their Bible Study I was converted. My conversion lasted through to my senior year in college...I wrote before about my college life. After my Christian College experience I stopped any and all religious or spiritual endeavours.
In the early 80's I met my first real totally gay boyfriend who was also an occultist and a magickian. We often practiced sex magick or as he called them "workings" after several years he moved to Delaware and we separated. In the late 80's I became a Wiccan and joined a coven, which to which I still belong. In 1990 I began again to formally study magick. My teacher was a closeted gay magickian and we studied together until about 2002. This teacher was openly gay in his public life, but in the homophobic world of "White Ceremonial Magick" he was in the closet. He also taught me privately about Gay sexual magick..no touching..or nakedness..just signs and sigils , postures and visualizations.....the harvesting of the excess male (Mars) force to use as a tool for transformation. He stopped teaching magick in 2002..he wanted to to complete his Master's in Sociology......

I have been trying since then to combine everything I have learned into a coherent system and also to perfect my own personal magick.

 

[bagley]

Cosmology Rant: I think I.D. is gobbledygook

The debate on Intelligent Design goes on and on........The very Republican Board of Education in the Amerikan heartland of Kansas has decided to include I.D. in it's science curriculum right along side Darwinism....and Bushy has said he favors a side by side teaching of the two divergent cosmologies...A recent poll stated that 57 % of Amerikans agree with the Biblical account of creation...( people will say anything over the telephone) . I look with jaundiced eyes upon both of these cosmologies. Darwinism requires random blind chance and hopes that eons of time will produce something....To me Darwinism is rife with a 19th century imperialist attitude and tinged with patriarchy and industrialism....after all the sun never sets upon the British Empire, Britain sending out it's sons to explore and exploit....I feel sometimes it would be wiser if the Scientific community took a Nihilist view of cosmology.

The Intelligent Design goobers miss the point completely.... the Universe as a contraption which requires miracles to function is actually anti the All Powerful GOD.

My view is that the world is continually being created by Desire. ( I also admit that I have no proof) Intelligence is to shallow a phenomenon to produce the vast ever evolving universe. In the Creation there seems to be a great Desire to create different forms; to allow these forms to flourish and then to deconstruct these forms. It actually seems to be based in the Artistic sphere rather than anything to do with intellect. So I propose the Universe as "Art for Art's Sake"....and I think this is a magickal point of view.

The Bible as non history:


I have been reading the birth narratives of Jesus in the Gospels. I find the New Testament to be a wonderful collection of writings from antiquity...I include a number of Gnostic texts as well in this number...I don't really care for following some historical canon....I just find in these writings a glimpse of the ancient past and I love the feeling of that connection......as I have mentioned before my Gran used a version of the "Keys of Solomon" in her spell casting...and I have begun to use "the Pater Noster" with my talismanic creations. If you ever see the Talisman called the "Magic Square"


SATOR
AREPO
TENET
ROTAS

This is an anagram for "Pater Noster"....although this is certainly pre Christian..being found in Pompeii and anywhere the legions went. It also has traditionally dedicated by saying a psalm. ( I use a medieval English spell I copied from a friend)

In studying the birth narratives I have been aided by the book, The Birth of the Messiah by a R.C. priest name Raymond Brown S.S. What I find is the remarkable is the way Father Brown points out the obvious inconsistencies between the two nativity stories and gives plausible reasons. But these are not historic records..for example there is a magickal and or numerological feel to Matthew's 3 X 14 break down of Jesus' genealogy. This genealogy = 42 generations from Abraham to Jesus. It is actually to short and misses about 400-600 years worth of begetting. I believe it has some sort of magickal or perhaps hidden meaning. 42 breaks down to 6. 6 the number of the Tiphereth (Qabalah) which has been associated with "the Christ ..Brown points out however that there are not actually 14 generations in each the sections......In occult learning there is usually what is called a "blind" the last set has 13....and adds up to 41. 4+1=5 and this Geborah or the Mars force....something is going on here and it isn't history.
I know from my studies that the ancient manuscripts of the New Testament have no punctuation or word separation. I believe there is a magickal reason for a lot of these writings...there is something behind them....I wonder what it could be.......

 

[bagley]

When I blog I am not trying to be objective or even fair minded. I am trying to find out what is going on inside my own life. This is especially true when I blog on RELIGION and spirituality. So much of the cardinal points of my life have revolved around religion and I guess "anti religion". Perhaps, if I were not Queer this being pulled apart by religion wouldn't be so pronounced. Or if the modern religious climate was not so hostile to gay/queer/otherness there would have to be some other thorn bush for me to be caught on.
I once heard a sermon by a Unitarian minister who was conflicted about her own sexuality and religious impulse...[damn it she still has my 4 volumn hardback set of The Sea of Fertility by Yukio Mishima] In this sermon she pointed out how we must all journey away from Eden and how the thorns and hard ground are tools we can use to develop our "true potential". After all Jesus was glorified only after he suffered the crucifixion.

Modern Amerikan religion seems very different from the pre-Industrial religions from which it sprang. [Saint] Harold Bloom points out in his book American Religion that the prevailing mode for the Amerikan religion is a gnostic one. Not as an offshoot of the ancient Gnostic Christianity, but a new Amerikan gnosis..which is really the cult of the individual. The individual receives a personal revelation and enters into a personal relationship with the divine. The most striking example he gives of this is in the hymn, "In the Garden" There isn't any shadow of the Cross or of any hard experience.....there is just a romance between Jesus and You. For me this phenomenon seems to be a wish to return to the womb. It is exactly opposite to what the Unitarian minister preached about. The return to the womb or innocence is a recurrent theme in Amerikan life. It may well be the wellspring of the "Forever young and beautiful culture we all pursue.

In Amerikan Evangelical Christianity there is a school of thought or practice called "Word of Faith". The Word of Faith is a legacy from a man called William Branham and is now widely taught by Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyers and my personal favorite Rev. Haggee. These people preach the use of Bible verses as incantations. I have studied them because they speak like thamathurgists. The main thrust for these teachings is money gathering and prosperity. Most of the big teachers are on television and are multi-millionaires. Haggee is my favorite because he is ssssssssssssooooooooo FAT...and his ministry makes awful movies sometimes staring Kirk Cameron. Anyway this school believes you can hold "God" captive with a verse from the Bible..and claim or bind..something. Usually you claim money/prosperity and bind individuals. One way to activate your God given bank account is to send the "ministry money"..sometimes called seeding or seed faith.

The Idea of the divine word or Logos can be attributed to Hellenism and the great Jewish philosopher, Philo of Alexandria, Egypt. It is that certain aspect of divinity which can be said to be sent out from divinity and create. This energy becomes personified as the Christ or the 2nd person of the Trinity in Christianity. In many magickal system this projection is called the "magickal voice" and is one of the greatest works a magickian can perfect. One can also find this in the Hebrew Scripture where God creates with his breathe of his mouth..or Ruach. So in ancient times the idea of "the Word" ( as well as the Name) is imbued with extraordinary power. But this is not the written word or perhaps it would be better to say the printed word. The ancient texts of scripture and also magick were meant to be spoken. The texts we read from antiquity were without puncuation or word breaks. In the case of Hebrew vowels were missing, too. Reading silently to onesself only happens in the late middle ages. The vocalization was the all important aspect, the writting was secondary. However, at some point the writing became more important than the vocal. I believe that at this point much of the Scipture lost it's magickal and spiritual potency.

 

[bagley]

It may seem strange at first to do this "religious" and or spiritual writing on Justusboys....It is just that I am very comfortable at JUB. I also want people to know there are alternate views within the Gay/Queer community about religion and politics and even sexuality. Many of the Gay/Queer community have been so badly treated by "People of Faith" they completely erase any spiritual impulse. In my own spiritual/religious experience I found I had to jettison a lot of baggage and hurt. I had to start from scratch. I held nothing true or sacred. Everything became open for analysis. So this is the reason I write on magickal/religious/spiritual topics on this very gay male site.

I'm sick today:

I have been sick with a sort of laryngitis..it actually started when I was writing on the "Word" or "Logos"....a coincidence no doubt. My wonderful partner came home from work and took my temperature because I said, "I have a fever". The thermometer said 97 degrees F. . He said " You don't have a fever"..I said," then why do I have chills and why do my joint's ache"...I was wrapped in my blanket. My body almost never runs 98.6 degrees F. He said..you are so weird....Those Hoosiers are a hard lot. I could tell some Indiana jokes, but then there might be some consequences..as I said those Hoosiers are a hard lot...

 

[bagley]

The motif of "Word and Image" has been an obsession of mine as part of my long struggle with religion. It has also been an theme in Western Religious thought for a very long time. This theme seems to have seeped into Christianity from the ancient pagan schools of philosophy. Christianity "piggybacked" onto a very complex and highly developed civilization which we call Classical. Perhaps the triumph of Christianity in the West has more to do with this synthesis of Classical philosophy with Christ than to agressive evangelism.

There is a great deal of tension between Word and Image in Christianity. The Semetic religions (Judaism and Islam) are very anti image. The Classical Western culture, however was very much an Image culture. The word or logos is a linear world view.. a ST8 masculine line...one word after another. The Image is a sensual , circuliar world view..round, holosistic and initiatic. For a time Christianity semed to combine these two diverse views in a synthesis..giving us for example the doctrine of the Trinity. The Logos has always been uneasy in this synthesis and Image purges have happen from time to time. The destruction of the Icons in the 7th C.E. in Byzantium and in the Reformation.

I believe the invention of movable type and the manufacture of cheap paper upset the delicate balance between Word and Image in Western Christian Society. I don't think the battle was between Luther and the Papacy, but between the ancient antagonism of Word and Image . These two innovations (print and paper) and their modern counterparts still tip the balance to a linear ST8 edge world view. It is the way we are taught in school. But if you think Image is dead..remember the impact of T.V. and video games.

My concern in all this is the linkage of Word and Image in a Magickal context. As Chritianity rides upon the Ancient Classical world, my magickal vision rides upon the Christian culture into which I was born. There are lots of "schools" in the Occult/Magickal arena which try and root out the impact of Christianty. I belong to a "school" which tries to accommodate and integrate the Christian/Jewish ( and perhaps Islamic) foundation of the tyro ( newbie) into a larger Magickal world view. In other words we must honor our past and "own it". I think this is important in Art as well. About 6 years ago I began to paint with acrylics. I would take the paints to my antique shop and paint during slack times. The images which began to come out were a profussion of crucified Christs, Madonnas and Saints, which must have been hidden deep inside..all my background is totally imageless Protestant. I also painted females with huge tits. Some of these images would just come out in the brush strokes...this explosion of Christian/Catholic images stopped when I moved to California.....???? In the paintings I felt I was integrating an ancient suppressed stream which I can not explain. However, what painting allowed me to do was to visualize the telesmantic images which are the heart of "Therugy".

I read the book A History of God in a class I took calle "Writting your Own Theology" at my local Unitarian Church...in about 1996. It has been a mine of ideas and concepts for me. Here the author speaks on a variation of the Image/Word antagonism Kerigma and Initiation...


Quoting from Karen Armstrong's A History of God:

"In 529 the emperor Justinian closed the ancient school of philosophy in Athens, the last bastion of intellectual paganism; its last great master had been Proclus (411-485), an ardent disciple of Plotinus. Pagan philosophy went underground and seemed defeated by the new religion of Christianity. Four years later, however, four mystical treatises appeared which were purportedly written by Denys the Areopagite, St. Paul's first Athenian convert. They were, in fact, written by a sixth-century Greek Christian, who has preserved his anonymity. The pseudonym had a symbolic power, however which was more important than the identity than the author: Pseudo-Denys managed to baptize the insights of Neoplatonism and we the God of the Greeks to the Semitic God of the Bible.

Denys was also the heir of the Cappadocian Fathers. Like Basil, he took the distinction between kerygma and dogma very seriously. In one of his letters, he affirmed that there were two theological traditions, both of which derived from the apostles. The kerymatic gospel was clear and knowable; the dogmatic gospel was silent and mystical. Both were mutually interdependent, however, and essential to the Christian faith. One was "symbolic and presupposing initiation," the other "philosophical and capable of proof - and the ineffable is woven with what can be uttered. The kerygma persuades and exhorts by its clear, manifest truth, but the silent or hidden tradition of dogma was a mystery that required initiation. "It effects and establishes the soul with God by initiations that do not teach anything," Denys insisted, in words that recalled Aristotle. There was a religious truth which could not adequately be conveyed by words, logic or rational discourse. It was expressed symbolically, thought the language and gestures of the liturgy or by doctrines which were "sacred veils" that hid the ineffable meaning from view but which also adapted the utterly mysterious God to the limitations of human nature and expressed the Reality in terms that could be grasped imaginatively if not conceptually.

The hidden or esoteric meaning was not for a privileged elite but for all Christians. Denys was not advocating an abstruse discipline that was suitable for monks and ascetics only. The liturgy, attended by all the faithful, was the chief path to God and dominated his theology. The reason that these truths were hidden behind a protective veil was not to exclude men and women of good will but to lift all Christians above sense perceptions and concepts to the inexpressible reality of God himself. The humility which had inspired the Cappadocians to claim that all theology should be apophatic became for Denys a bold method of ascending to the inexpressible God.

In fact, Denys did not like to use the word "God" at all - probably because it had acquired such inadequate and anthropomorphic connotations. He preferred to use Proclus's term theurgy, which was primarily liturgical: theurgy in the pagan world had been a tapping of the divine mana (the unseen forces that pervade the physical word and were experienced as sacred or divine) by means of sacrifice and divination. Denys applied this to Godtalk, which, properly understood, could also release the divine energeiai (the activities of God which enable man to glimpse something of him. Like dynameis - the term used to distinguish the human conception of God from the ineffable and incomprehensible reality itself) inherent in the revealed symbols. He agreed with the Cappadocians that all our words and concepts for God were inadequate and must not be taken as an accurate description of a reality which lies beyond our ken. Even the word "God" itself was faulty, since God was "above God," a mystery beyond being." Christians must realize that God is not the Supreme Being, the highest being of all heading a hierarchy of lesser beings. Things and people do not stand over against God as a separate reality or an alternative being, which can be the object of knowledge. God is not one of the things that exist and is quite unlike anything else in our experience. In fact, it is more accurate to call God "Nothing": we should not eve call him a Trinity since he is "neither a unity nor a trinity in the sense in which we know them." He is above all names just as he is above all being. Yet we can use our incapacity to speak about God as a method of achieving a union with him, which is nothing less than a "deification" (theosis) of our own nature. God had revealed some of his Names to us in scripture, such as "Father," "Son" and "Spirit," yet the purpose of this had not been to impart information about him but to draw men and women toward himself and enable them to share his divine nature.

In each chapter of his treatise The Divine Names, Denys begins with a kerygmatic truth, revealed by God: his goodness, wisdom, paternity and so forth. He then proceeds to show that although God has revealed something of himself in these titles, what he reveals is not himself. If we really want to understand God, we must go on to deny those attributes and names. Thus we must say that he is both "God" and "not-God," "good" and then go on to say that he is "not-good." The shock of this paradox, a process that includes both knowing and unknowing, will life us above the world of mundane ideas to the inexpressible reality itself. Thus, we begin by saying that:

"of him there is understanding, reason, knowledge, touch, perception, imagination, name and many other things. But he is not understood, nothing can be said of him, he cannot be named. He is not one of the things that are."

Reading the Scriptures is not a process of discovering facts about God, therefore, but should be a paradoxical discipline that turns the kerygma into dogma. This method is theurgy, a tapping of the divine power that enables us to ascend to God himself and , as Platonists had always taught, become ourselves divine. It is a method to stop us thinking! "We have to leave behind us all our conceptions of the divine. We call a halt to the activities of our minds." We even have to leave our denials of God's attributes behind. Then and only then shall we achieve an ecstatic union with God.

When Denys talks about ecstasy, he is not referring to a peculiar state of mind or an alternative form of consciousness achieved by an obscure yogic discipline. This is something that every Christian can manage in this paradoxical method of prayer and theoria. It will stop us talking and bring us to the place of silence. "As we plunge into that darkness which is beyond intellect, we shall find ourselves not simply running short of words but actually speechless and unknowing." Like Gregory of Nyssa, he found the story of Moses' ascent of Mount Sinai instructive. When Moses had climbed the mountain, he did not see God himself on the summit but had only been brought to the place where God was. He had been enveloped by a thick cloud of obscurity and could see nothing: thus everything that we can see or understand is only a symbol (the word Denys uses is "paradigm") which reveals the presence of a reality beyond all thought. Moses had passed into the darkness of ignorance and thus achieved union with that which surpasses all understanding; we will achieve a similar ecstasy that will "take us out of ourselves" and unite us to God.

This is only possible because, as it were, God comes to meet us on the mountain. Here, Denys departs from Neoplatonism, which perceived God, as static and remote, entirely unresponsive to human endeavor. The God of the Greek philosophers was unaware of the mystics who occasionally managed to achieve an ecstatic union with him, whereas the God of the Bible turns toward humanity. God also achieves an "ecstasy" which takes him beyond himself to the fragile realm of created being.

"And we must dare to affirm (for it is truth) that the Creator of the universe himself, in his beautiful and good yearning towards the universe . . . is transported outside himself in his providential activities towards all things that have being . . . and so is drawn from his transcendent throne above all things to dwell within the heart of all things, through an ecstatic power that is above being and whereby he yet stays within himself."

Emanation had become a passionate and voluntary outpouring of love, rather than an automatic process. Denys's way of negation and paradox was not just something that we do but something that happens to us.

For Plotinus, ecstasy had been a very occasional rapture; it had been achieved by him only tow or three times in his life. Denys saw ecstasy as the constant state of every Christian. this was the hidden or esoteric message of Scripture and liturgy, revealed in the smallest gestures. Thus when the celebrant leaves the altar at the beginning of the Mass to walk through the congregation, sprinkling it with holy water before returning to the sanctuary, this is not just a rite of purification - though it is that too. It imitates the divine ecstasy, whereby God leaves his solitude and merges himself with his creatures. Perhaps the best way of viewing Denys's theology is as that spiritual dance between what we can affirm about God and the appreciation that everything we can say about him can only be symbolic. As in Judaism, Denys's God has two aspects, one is turned toward us and manifests himself in the world, the other is the far side of God as he is in himself, which remains entirely incomprehensible. He "stays within himself" in his eternal mystery, at the same time as he is totally immersed in creation. He is not another being, additional to the world, Denys's method became normative in Greek theology. In the West, however, theologians would continue to take and explain. Some imagined that when they said "God," the divine reality actually coincided with the idea in their minds. Some would attribute their own thoughts and ideas to God - saying that God wanted this, forbade that and had planned the other - in a way that was dangerously idolatrous. the God of Greek Orthodoxy, however, would remain mysterious, and the Trinity would continue to remind Eastern Christians of the provisional nature of their doctrines. Eventually the Greeks decided that an authentic theology must meet Denys's two criteria: it must be silent and paradoxical."

 

[bagley]

We live in a world of corrupted images. In part this is due to the over emphasis on the printed word in our modern society. In pre technical times, before movable type there was a certain sacred aspect to words. There are still several alphabets which retain a certain sanctity in Western society ; one is Hebrew and an other is Greek. More uncommon is the old Germanic alphabet commonly called Runes. There are also magickal alphabets made exclusively for magick, for example the Enochian. To Western modern people the Roman alphabet is the most common and over shaddows the others.
To pre literate societies the written words had magickal power. Later , those who could read and write in parts of medieval Europe were often considered in minor orders (clergy). Books were hand crafted and expensive. Movable type and cheap paper moved writing from the sacred to the profane. I studied Tibetan Buddhism for about 4 years and the Tibetan lamas have a very strct way of using sacred texts...because they have a deep almost mystical respect for the sutras. For example..if you drop a sacred writing you touch it to your forehead..no reading it in the loo....no piling other books on top of it....for me, at least and none of those rules made any sense..especially when It was my book...but, I complied, anyway. For me I guess the profane had won.

One of the hurdles in magickal studies the student must overcome is to learn to visualize an image. I think it has become much harder in the modern era. Magick requires clear visulaization. If one wishes to call an "angel" or a "god" one should have a concrete visualized image. Many begining magickal students have trouble visulizing a color let alone an image. I took me years to master even a simple visuaization and hold it for a few seconds. It came easier after I began to draw and paint...plus a year of hypno-therapy... It was a struggle...I still am no master.... I also realized that I was more successfull at visulization when I turned off the television for a COUPLE DAYS. During this time a friend of mine began to do an advanced degree and was studying the history of photography...before the 1850s personal images were rare. Only the elite could aford a painted portrait. With advancing technology the image became common place and people became used to seeing the human form. Today, media people manipulate and mass produce "the image" and it is used as a way to sell things. The image itself has become debased, but still powerful. In the Gay world the manipulated image of the muscle porn stud provokes ordinary gay men to desire to be like that image....or die trying...it's even worse for the st8 females....
I don't want to turn back the sun dial...I think we are on a long trip toward a better world..so I embrace what has happened, but I also try and understand the past.

I love Gay Porn, by the way...it is an empowering Image for me. It showes me that other males are out there acting on the same inner desires I have experienced. The Fundies want to limit or stop all sexualy explicit material. Christian Fundies want to limit choice, not only in abortion, but in every aspect of life.

 

[bagley]

Assume the position is a phrase with a lot of innuendo and shades of meaning. English is a language filled with the possibility of innuendo, by the way.... I just learned that in a little book called...Xenophobe's Guide to the English... To many people it implies a sexual position..me included. But it is also a Magickal Term..which by the way can also be sexual. As a magickal practitioner I can assume the God/dess form. As a practitioner of Hermetic Qabalism I can assume the Angelic forms and also the form of Adam Kadmon. In the book, Drawing down the Moon Margot Adler recalls how the Thracian Witches drew the Moon Goddess into their bodies in ancient times and how now Wiccan priestess do the same. Assuming the God form is also a Tibetan Buddhist practice. When I assume the God form I become the center of the universe. One of the greatest memories I have happened when I received the Tibetan Chenrezig deity empowerment. Ultimately the practitioner of these rites realizes that there is NO SEPARATION. The concept of Deity Assumption fosters a much different world view from totally transcendent monotheism. I guess I would call it a more holistic view.

Factoid: Yesterday, I bought a painted glass Christmas ornament from Neiman Marcus, a Bacccarat crystal Christmas ornament, and a South Park "Stan" ornament....for under 2.00....Sunday I bought two Kazakstani yarn ornaments shaped like stars. I can't wait to put our tree up....I have a small collection of vintage ornaments and stuff...culled from the years I had my own shop.

Factoid: I collect dolls..dolls of a certain ilk...folk art dolls...no plastic or porcelain..kokeshi dolls from Japan..they tend to look phallic....I have 7 cloth dolls from various parts of Africa..Today I found one which has a Congo look...the cloth is beautiful..and some other's by American folk artists....I have no idea why I collect these dolls...????

Factoid: I am just now over my cough and laryngitis...

 

[bagley]

One of my morning rituals is to peruse the gay blog-o-sphere..It is so much better than the commercial news. For the last few days a lot of people have been talking about ST8 acting Gay men..a lot of people label this as self loathing or even self hatred. I find this a bit pompous or even cruel. First of all most Gay boys grow up without any positive mentoring. In fact i postulate that most Gay boys grow up in a hostile environment without any positive gay role models. For example, my introduction to Gay life was blowing married men in the park toilets when I was a teenager......my reward , a can of beer or a cigarette. I learned the hard way (pun) to mask my desire nature and pass at least for semi ST8. I think it's still the same in most regions of the world. Many times family and religious presure are to great to ignore and the Gay boy chooses conformity. That is why in repressed areas the Gay cruising areas are full of married men. When I lived in Virginia sweeps week for the local Television stations always had a segment on Gay cruising areas..with gay busts and sometimes names..once it was a local RC priest caught in the act...

A lot of the OUT Gay community is very rigid and political. If a Gay guy labels himself ST8 acting, maybe it's not self hatred, maybe it's a comfort level. As for me...I've been openly Gay for many years...but a lot of my ST8 acting conditioning still is in place....probably from my military days....maybe sexuality can't be measured on a linear scale from 1-10 ala Kinsey..perhaps it's more a 4 dimensional plot.

A lot of Gay men love the fantasy of ST8 man seduction....getting a [sic] real man. Not my fantasy... In the past I have had relations with some very pussy loving, Bi-Sexual men...(the disco era). I was turned on by the dominanation and also the verbal aspects of some of these one way sexual trysts....but I don't think you can't form a healthy relationship from these trysts....I think sex fantasies are wonderful..and If pornography feeds your fantasy..that's great, too. I think its wise to always remember that film is basically illusion and money is an aphrodisiac. A true sexual relationship with a ST8 man would require the gay man to assume the total female role. And while I love to be the bottom and to be sexually submissive...in or out of bed, I am a male. If your having sex with me you are having sex with a man. ..and that means you are at least Bisexual... I have in fact ruined a few ST8 marriages...but that's another blog.

edit note: While I was blogging this..I got bored listening to CNN so I flipped over to "Lifetime"..The Golden Girls..about three in a row..the middle one was on Blanche's brother trying to come out gay...I thought gee that's kind of synchronous.

I put Johnny Hazard up as my primary pic....He is my porn hero....

 

[bagley]

This weekend was very busy and SEXY, too. The NPO I work for had two big events and I worked both of them and had to go in on Sunday to sort out the mess...I don't mind. Saturday the B/F and I ate in West Hollywood..at Joey's...and then walked down to A Different Light Bookstore to hear Felice Picano read from his new book, Tales: From a distant planet. I have been a fan of his for a long time. He has a NYC accent and has aged pretty well. Picano with Edmund White and Paul Monette gave the Gay men of my generation a voice. I find it pretty strange to think how much my life has been shaped by fiction...I have been a voracious reader of Gay fiction since I found a copy of John Rechy's, City of Night when I was in my 20's. Picano read from his novella. Ingoldsby in the aforementioned book. His voice was mellow and his eyes were expressive. Afterward, he talked about his recently completed European book tour. The highlights of the tour were Ireland and Wales and also the hot muscle boys of Paris...After Picano took questions..and believe it or not...the topic revolved around religion and gayness...this happened because Picano mentioned in passing his visit to Belfast and also the impending UK civil partnerships for gay couples. One man wanted to know if the religious were protesting..another wanted to know if the Catholic church in Ireland was anti gay... I thought "What strange questions".... I wanted to hear more about the hot guys of Paris. I bought Picano's book and he signed it. I told himI had just obtained a copy of a 1st edition hardback of one of his early books, The Lure..and we talked a little about that. It was really great meeting Felice...usually in those situations I am very shy...and leave without saying anything...perhaps this blogging has helped me a little with that shyness....

Friday night we watched our netflixs film, Lilies beautiful story of homo-eros..Canadian.....viva Canada. I love the film ..it is our 2nd viewing. The men are beautiful. A story of an enduring love between two men.

Correction: I was in error in my last blog when I stated the Kinsey line was 1-10. GDannyboy sent me some much needed correction..the Kinsey line is ONE thru SIX. Visit GDannyboy's blog and galleries here on JUB....He is a good looking musle guy with a lot of heart... He can correct me anytime...double woof..!

Factoid: Sunday night the B/F turned me into a blubbering mass of wimpering protoplasm.... he is the master of my body..after all these years he still takes me to the sexual edge....He said tonight we'd have another session. Mentally and physically before and after sex, I don't feel submissive. During sex I am. It took me a long time to surrender sexually to him. This is an evoving situation for me and for him too. I am not sure where this is going...but my body loves him and responds to his domination with joy.

 

[bagley]

As I have stated before I collect as much gay fiction and/or writing I can find. When I was a kid in the 60"s I found a book in a pile of used books called, Faggots to Burn and I used it as a bible as I slurped my way through the local teahouses and public parks....When I got converted to Christianity in 1969 I burned it. I have recently looked for the book but I have not found one that wasn't badly damaged ( it was printed on cheap wood pulp and is usually in an advanced decay). Faggots to Burn is about the gay demi monde of the 40's and 50's and can teach you the 50's gay cant...oh marry. The 2nd book that impacted me was John Rechy's, City of Night . I now have a hardback Grove Press 1st edition without the dust jacket...still looking for that dust jacket....From Rechy's book I learned about the Ramble in Central Park..and explored that mysterious place many times....In my senior year at college (an Evangelical school) I used City of Night as a reference in one of my English papers and that raised more than an eyebrow from the professor.... I have collected many of Rechy's books and have read and re read them....
I also have a nice collection of Paul Monette books. I have been looking to replace my soft backs with hardback 1st editions and have had some success. I recently got a signed copy of his poetry book, "Love Alone" 18 Elegies for Rog. My old copy is full of memories..so I'll keep it.
I also have a collection of Edmund White ficton, but have lost my copy of Genet.
I also look for any Gay paper or soft backs from the 60's and 70's. Finally there is Yukio Mishima and Forbidden Colors a book I took from a UK public library in the late 70's..well because..they wouldn't let me..a Yank, check it out...I also love written gay porn fromthe same era....

The photos and pictures in my galleries reflect my taste in men.... in a secret darker way. I like to look at a darker side of gay sexuality.... not torture, scat or rape stuff..but domination. The idea of the domination of adult males by other adult males is a sexual trigger for me. This theme has also been developing in the relationship I have with my B/F. I like the look of men closer to the natural look..hairy and uncut..muscle, but not gym muscle....I have been looking at Craigstlist "Men looking for Men" and love the amatuer quality of most of it....I also try and add the new and subtract the old...some I am just in love with...

Factoid:
I hate to say this but I am one sore and used up bottom bitch , today. Sunday he pounded me into a wimpering slut and said he wanted to do it again on Monday after he got home from work....and for an hour last evening he pounded me like a frieght train....he was pulling on my nips..using them like reins..(those bitches are sore today).....then disaster struck..we ran out of lube...jeez...and I was so close to an anal orgasm it was painful... we then went into the shower and just wanked each other....I need lots of lube because he such a big boy...he needs lube because his cock skin is very sensative. Our usual routine is every 3 or 4 days for fucking....with j/o or b/j's filling in if needed.

Factoid: Our Ross is coming up from San Diego with a brand new love interest..Ross has been playing the field and having fun ..we've seen less of him since he moved here....he has a thing for Latino men , now, and he is bringing this man named ???? ..to our little event....I can't wait to see him...and I am happy for his new found self confidence.

 

[bagley]

One summer when I was a kid my dad's oldest 1st cousin took me and his grandson on a tour of historic New England and also down to Pennsylvania and finally to D.C. . Cousin Al was a CUSS...all capitals...he creeped me out ...he smoked cigars and was a right wing insurance salesman...his grandson Bobby was a blubbery fat boy two years my junior..I was 12. It was the year my father died and all his relatives were coming out of the woodwork trying to be helpful. Al was trying to be helpful. I agreed to go with Al and Bobby because I was very interested in history (especially New England history). I took good notes and also bought a lot of postcards and pamphlets..We stopped at Plymouth, Ma and visited the Rock. Al claimed "We" had relatives on the Mayflower..."at least on your dad's side" ...we went to all the free stuff..but I forgot to mention Al was incredibly cheap....I wanted to go to the mockup Plimouth Plantaion, but it cost too much...so we moved on. That trip was the very first time I saw the ocean....we camped in Pennsylvania and that was great. Cousin Al later dated my mother..and they almost got married, but Al died instead. ...After the vacation...I asked my mother and grandmother about the Mayflower connection ..they didn't know...

When my maternal Grandmother died I obtained her boxes of books, papers...and photos. I have written before how I rescued them from the trash.... In them she had a lot of stuff which went back into the early 19th century. She or one of her family members had statred a genealogy and had some original documents. I stored this stuff without really investigating it. When I began to investigate my genealogy in 2000 I found a lot of material I wasn't expecting. My Gran's notes allowed me to connect to an established genealogical data bases..ie..The Barber Collection in the Connecticut Archives...and others. Shock I found my parents were distant cousins. (in 17th century New England there wasn't all that many choices) I also found 11 Mayflower passengers who were my ancestors. I have been studying the ramifications of my genealogy ever since. It has personalized American history for me. I have been trying to figure out how these remote historical events have impacted me. What I have found is a strange thread of religious rebelion which blows through the various generations of my family. There are almost no mainline religious people in my genealogy. There are the people we call Pilgrims who were actually "Brownists" and akin to the most radical religious people of their day. I believe Brown died in prison and many of his followers were severely tortured. The Brownists believed they had the right to practice their own religion despite whatever the royal government mandated. They migrated out of Stuart England to Holland and then to New England. Plymouth as a colony limped along until in was absorbed by larger Massachusetts Bay colony in 1690. In my genealogical search I found members of other radical religious sects as well....7th day Baptists, Quakers and Rogerenes to name some. Rogerenes are a religious sect unique to Connecticut. Rogerenes were almost a free love movement and allowed and even encouraged interracial marriage. I aslo found some German Swiss Anabaptists. In the 19th century time frame I found many family members who were Universalists or Spiritualists. The 20th cetury is filled with Pentecostalists. I don't think any of this crazy quilt of religious expression is genetic. Perhaps it is more like a morphic field...???? By the way a lot of gay men are involved in genealogy..maiden aunts and gay men seem to be the "keepers" of these family bundles....?

Something different:

I have been going crazy over pictures of men with sperm on their faces......men with goat-tees using their mouths and faces as sexual organs. Bukkake photos, too drive me insane. Your face and mouth are the most intimate parts of you....allowing another male to sperm on your face or in your mouth is crazy wild, with deep ramifications. All I can say is that it drives me crazy...in a good way. My face IS a sex organ.

spell check is off...again...sorry for any mistakes

 

[bagley]

Our 2 day mini vacation into the Santa Monica Mountains was a wonderful time. Our Ross looked so happy with his new love interest....his name is Luis and he is not only good looking..he is really nice...too. Moving away from Chicago was the best thing Ross has done in years...he was very lonely there...Anyway we hiked up this mountain and found a beautiful spot over looking the Pacific Ocean, Point Magu and off in the distance..the top of Santa Cruz Island...all wrapped in fog. We were all alone...no other people. After our lunch..we climbed higher..my goal was the top of the ridge...but the three younger guys began to complain ..my feet hurt..and so we went back down to the car....on the way down a snake blocked the easy trail..it was sunning itself... and so we we climbed down a different harder way...We then went to Magu Point and splashed in the cold water. We spent the night in Ventura...and Friday morning went up to Ojai...art galleries, a visit to Kristnamurti's cabin and glen and more. On our way back to LA we stopped at Solstice Canyon and hiked up to the water falls...beautiful..but more crowded. I caught Ross and Luis kissing...Ross turned 20 shades of red...funny. Our Friday ended with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire...which I give an A-.

More Religion:

I love to read the gay blog-o-sphere. I read a blog called Jesus' General..he had a bit about the film, The God Who Wasn't There, by Brian Flemming... you can see clips of it www.thegodmovie.com/clips . Interesting it seems....I for one do not believe in a historical Jesus...at least not the Jesus portrayed in the canonical gospels. One of the strong points in the DVD, The God Who Wasn't There is when it points out the fact that there are many, many stories similar to the Jesus story which pre-date Christianity...and early Christians were very aware of these stories (myths) and issued apologies against these pagan myths. Almost everyone admits the 4 canonical gospels are anonymous and were written 40 to 60+ years after the death of Jesus. ...so much for the apostolic witness....Jesus as myth is much more viable than Jesus as an historical figure. I believe in the mythical Jesus....

happy factoid: I got lucky in our motel on Thanksgiving night...he was so tired..I massaged and kissed his feet and calves and worked my way up to his cock...and balls....slurp slurp slurp......he shot all over my face....it was only the second time in our 13 year relationship...he thinks its too messy....afterward I ran a hot bath for him and massaged him some more....his feet were bruised from the hike.......He was a little cool to me on Friday morning...????????? but..has since warmed up....

Gallery edited and updated....check out MUKHTAR from Brazil....

 

[bagley]

Divination:

I write a lot about Magick and religion and realized I have never really said what I actually do on a regular basis....most of my magickal practice deals with divination and the mantic arts. I regularly read the Tarot..the Tarot is the most common form of occult divination, palm reading aside. I have a small collection of Tarot decks which I use and lots and lots of books on the subject. In the Western or Hermetic Qabalah system the Tarot is tied to the Qabalistic tree of life..and seems to fit nicely....The second form of divination I use is the ancient Germanic Runes....pretty common...and very accessable. I also construct Rune spells or sigils beside using them for divination. The Runes and their meanings actually came to me without much of a need for teaching..I picked them right up...whereas the Tarot still eludes me sometimes...The third system which I use is Western Geomancy, with it's 16 figures....I started to work with these symbols about 2 years ago at a workshop...they were the common form of divinition in the middle ages and were also used as poor peoples astrology charts. I cast horary astrology charts...and birth charts.... I have practiced trance work aka trance mediumship aka channeling. I keep a magickal/divination journal....to record my thoughts and goals. In the magickal tradition most people errect a magickal place usually a temple, but sometimes a castle where they can practice the magickal arts..on the astral plane (Yesod in the Qabalah). Over time if one is dililgent the place takes on a realness. I use my magickal place when I divine....my place is based on an old Roman site..still standing in Rome ...With 20 years or so of magickal practice I find some real connections.....the channeling part is the strangest thing I have ever experienced. I promised myself a long time ago to be consistent and to perform a magickal act every day.

More on the facial fetish:

Back as a young gay disco boi...I was a sperm bank..cum dump....I never turned a hard dick away. If he was willing I was able....since most of my adventures were in public places or restrooms....anal sex was not an option unless of course HE was super hot....so most of my adventures were oral. I was a dedicated swallower. I wanted every drop. All this was before HIV or actually before I became aware of HIV/AIDS. After I became aware ...I stopped being so free sexually and also quit most drug use.
I settled down and bought a townhouse near the Layfette River Bridge near Hampton Blvd in Norfolk, Va. My house was about 1/4 mile from one of the hotest military cruising areas in the world. On the weekends the sailors and the men who loved them were out in force..I met a lot of men...and it was mainly oral and J.O....anyway...I met this hot Rican sailor at a club called the "Oar House".....I took him to my house....he want to fuck me...but no condom...so I gave him head....he shot directly on my face. I was totally hooked ..I saw him for a couple months.. we would begin having safe anal sex and then he would pull out and jizz on my face...or sometimes my back...then ..he just stopped coming over...but I was hooked on getting spermed on my face. I meet my Husband and his now ex b/f during this same time..and I think part of my B/F's resitance to giving me a facial is my past life as a cum dump. When we got together as a couple I had to walk a very narrow line and give him constant assurances of my fidelity....13 years latter I'm stil in love and have been 99% faithful....(we both slipped a couple times)....so I'll just fullfill my facial fetish..surfing the net and begging....

 

[bagley]

I realized more than several years ago I was one of the walking wounded. There are psychic and emotional wounds which just never seem to heal no matter what I do. For example ...... I am terminally shy. At points in my life I have been so shy that I was unable to go out of the house. Consequently, I have developed a penchant toward introspection and bookishness... I always have this pit in my belly when I interact socially or at my employment. In fact, I invented a totally different personality for the work a day world...."the salesman". He is glib and talkative and interacts with all sorts of people and situations... Socially it is hard for me to meet people. I've tried to overcome the social shyness, but it still lingers...more than lingers. I've tried therapy and that did help, but it didn't cure my terminal shyness. I just walk around with it 24-7..knowing now I can cope. I think sometimes that my Queerness is at the core of many of my wounds.

In the 90's I was very active in a Spiritualist Church. Spiritualism is an American Religion founded in the middle of the 19th century but is almost extinct in the States. I started to attended what "they" called medium development classes two nights a week and learned a lot. Many times I felt I was reclaiming an ancient queer practice. (Almost all of the male mediums I knew in the Spiritualist movement were gay) I found that it was very easy for me to go into a trance....after a while one of the female teachers..asked me to "sit" in her "Trance Medium" circle and I agreed. Every week on Friday for over a year I sat with a small group of people trying to become trance mediums or channels. The teacher never used the word channel..because of it's New Age feel. Spiritualists use what is called a cabinet for trance mediumship work...ours was actually a light proof curtain hung from the ceiling which was then pulled around a chair. The building (church ) had been a Spiritualist church for over 60 years and this cabinet had been used by a lot of famous Mediums in the past. So there was a great deal of residual energy in that place. I had brillant experiences "in cabinet" The circle lasted from7-9pm and sometimes for the whole period I would be out....several times over the several months while I was in the cabinet I would be taken over by higher spiritual energies...One particular time I felt myself grow small and childlike while a great firery angelic figure took over my body..I could feel fire in my lungs and all over my chest...A voice told me I was cleansed from nicotine addiction and healed....from that day to this..I have never craved a cigarette and stopped smoking ( I was over 2 packs a day). It was almost the greatest spiritual experience of my life....the group sort of broke up after the year and I started to travel for work again...so I have never been able to replicate my experiences. I l can still feel these spiritual beings around me and sometimes get a glimpse of them. I know my female cat senses them something too, she goes a little crazy chirping and meowing...while I am meditating..but like I said...no real possession.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was a good movie. It moved along nicely without taking up any time for boring explanations....after all it is the 4th movie and in my opinion the best. I give it an A- ......

 

[bagley]

I have journaled for a long time. It has been a consistent pattern in my life. and Blogging has given my private ramblings a different dimension. I have kept a dream journal for years. This journal has been a great source of insight for me. I recently have been dreaming of the basement of my boyhood home...digging up the dirt floor....I keep a divination journal to record my readings and my feelings about them.....I also have a magickal journal ala Franz Bardon called a soul mirror. One of the aspects of the soul mirror is to record all the flaws you [think] you have. (also your good points). However, nothing gets to the heart of the matter quicker than deleving into your negative attributes. Bardon was a Czech Mystic/Hermeticist/Healer who suffered under the Nazis and later died under the Czech Communist regime. There is a long tradition of magick in Bohemia, by the way quiet different from the Brito-American variety. I have been trying to develop these positive and negative soul mirrors for quite awhile. I wrote yesterday about being shy..now I would like to write about my feelings of being inferior. I have had feelings of being " less than" my whole life....this feeling is quite seperate from the shyness. I felt this inferiority since childhood. I realize part of it was being dirt poor. I also think part of this feling was based in my physical body. I was born 2 months early and was in the hospital for months and months..my sickly condition lasted until I was five years old...I also had an undetected minor learning disability called reversals..which causes me to see numbers and letters backwords....Once, I got an "F" on a test because every letter was perfectly backward....spelling was a nightmare too....not to mention math....so I just felt inferior....the public school teachers labeled me as lazy or worse..it was only in high school that I caught up with and in some cases surpassed my peers. I also think part of this feeling of inferiority has some of it's origin in me being queer. I have over come a lot of those feelings of "less than". I give a lot of credit to the US military and their concept of the level playing field for showing me I could compete and even win ( as long as I stayed in the closet). I left the military near the top of the enlisted ranks with a chest full of medals and awards and a lot more confidence. Sometimes, I think this feeling of inferiority still seeps into my everyday life...especially the creative side..it makes me bitchy and fault finding ..ah , but now I recognize it .

GAY PORN

I have been looking at the Gay Porn Blogs and here is one I found that is particlarly Bitchy http://www.damonkruezer.net/www.damonkruezer.net Dammit I cant get the link to work...... Anyway this guy is pretty hard hitting..especially about Johnny Hazard..says he's ..5'4" with no charisma....blah blah blah.....I actually dislike Amerikan mainstream porn..I love amatuer and European stuff especially the Eastern European Porn. It seems to have a lot more sensuality to it....

The God Who Wasn't There

We rented the movie "THe God Who Wasn't There" from Netflix...by Brian Flemming. A documentry of sorts about the pseudo historical Jesus. Nice music and a few starter facts for up and coming free thinkers. Flemming interviews Alan Dundes a noted folklorist..this DVD is worth a watch just for the Alan Dundes interview. This isn't the interview, but similar to what Dundes talked about.

Lord Raglan, Otto Rank, and others have developed a concept called the "Mythic Hero Archetype" -- a type of larger-than-life man found in many Indo-European and Semitic cultures. They have analyzed stories and myths of Aeneas, Arthur, Buddha, David, Gilgamesh, Heracles, Lohengrin, Moses, Odysseus, Oedipus, Perseus, Romulus, Siegfried, etc. and have identified twenty-two recurring elements in these myths. Typically, the life story of any one hero contains many, but not all, of the twenty-two components.

Author Alan Dundes has compared this archetype with events in the life of Jesus, as recorded in the Christian Scriptures. He found that Jesus' life contained almost all of the twenty two elements. Element #3 is missing, and #12 is a weak match. But the remaining twenty events are relatively precise matches: can you guess which ones #3 and #12 are....


"The Gospel story of Jesus is itself apparently mythic from first to last....As Dundes is careful to point out, it doesn't prove there was no historical Jesus for it is not implausible that a genuine, historical individual might become so lionized, even so deified, that his life and career would be completely assimilated to the Mythic Hero Archetype...Thus it seems to me that Jesus must be categorized with other legendary founder figures, including the Buddha, Krishna, and Lao-tzu. There may have been a real figure there, but there is simply no longer any way of being sure."

Here is Dundes book: Alan Dundes, "The Hero Pattern and the Life of Jesus," in Otto Rank et al. "In Quest of the Hero," Princeton University Press, (1990), Page 179 to 223.

The God Who Wasn't There also contains unauthorized clips from The Passion of the Christ Brian called it the "Smashen of the Christ"....I am glad I never watched it....I like the Pasolini' type of Jesus flick WAY better....

Finally the documentry ends with an emotional venting in Brian's old fundamentalist school.....not really germane to the film....I give it a B-

 

[bagley]

I had a long working weekend...I enjoy the work I do ..so it's not so bad. We were doing mass mailings for the "foundation" and that was a long dull envelope stuffing two day affair. Sunday afternoon was a fund raising/art opening ....food .food and more food...and eggnog....chocolate truffles....I was semi good...we were pretty successful. I was there till 7pm cleaning up the mess and putting things away.....
Two weeks ago at a similar event I met a very cute Mexican male couple. One of the guys was very pretty and had the bubble butt of death. The other man was "Aztec" butch in thug type clothing (nice tats on his forearms). We talk a bit..the butch guy was a silver jewelry artisan and the more fem guy was a waiter ( he wasn't a queen..just less macho than his partner) . They never said "we're a gay couple"...but they had matching rings the jewler had made...and they gave off a hot sex vib..you knew they were "married" ....later, Juan the waiter showed me the necklace Jesus the jewler had made him... while Jesus shot daggers at me...from across the room. My point...I knew they were a couple...I knew who was the top and who was the bottom...I know I could be wrong...but I don't think so......they caused me to think alot about Gay relationships.

I think there are a lot of different ways gay men can come together as [SEX] partners. One of the ways in which gay men come together (and which ST8's don't really understand) is Twining. This is the idea of Narcissus being attracted to his own reflerction...It is the Hero attrated to the Hero. Twining is the current mode of coupling among most modern Gay men. The Twining concept is as ancient a gay motif as the "boy love" motif or the She-male motif. We can see this twin mode in the story of the Theban band of paired warrior lovers. The twining mode is also present in the ancient Germanic rune lore..especially the story of the Alcis..two horsemen gods united in love..they even had a religious cult...this queer memory is enshrined in the rune EHWAZ. EHWAZ is a powerful symbol for Gay men.
One of the common questions clueless St8 people ask Gay male couples goes something like, "Who's the man in your relationship?" GODDAMNIT..we are both men...He's the pitcher and I'm the catcher....we are still both males. I think one of the problems Gay people have in the ST8 dominated world is we have more choices in our relationships and a lot of those choices don't have paralells in ST8 society. I think it is a mistake to model Gay male sexual relationships solely on the model used by ST8 breeding heterosexuals. It doesn't work for them and I don't think it can work for "US".

My B/F and I have formed a variation of this "twin soul" concept for our relationship. My B/F is a Dom TOP and I am a Sub Bottom. We have come together as life partners to explore our desires together. Being a Sub is not being female or having a female nature...but it does mean I am receptive and introspective. He is the explorer and I am the explored. and if he gets too carried away or gets a little to rough...I just tickle him untill he stops....(actually we have a safety word which means stop) ...PLUS we have a lot of fun.....

 

[bagley]

They gave me the shiney brass key to the office, yesterday...I'm working everyday till the 21st....so some short blogs. A famous writer came in yesterday...don't remember his name....????

A cum drinking thread here on JUB got me remembering some of the smoldering cum drinking times from my checkered past...one was with my first "real" boyfriend....he loved to be sucked dry which took about three bjs ...and then fuck me till he had a dry orgasm...we also did a lot of tag teaming with a buddy of his....drinking his cum totally energized me... sometimes we would do this in his pick-up at the end of my street...with out the anal sex....he loved to have sex in his truck...steaming up the windows...Now that I look back I guess I've always been the bottom sub guy

I think Gay marriage is a dumb idea, that is.... a gay marriage modeled on the ST8 breeder pair model. There are a lot of partnership models which are better suited to Gay Men. All we need from the breeder society is "the right" to form adult relationships and the right to privacy. If you want a monogamous paired relationship..go for it...but there are other models out there which might suit you better.....

Factoid..yesterday morning in the Hancock Park Public toliet a plump middle age man showed me his semi hard cock...tempting, but NO Thanks....

 

[bagley]

HO HO HO Merry Holiday....the Evangelical Christians are up in arms over the word Holiday vs. Christmas. THEY SO... HAVE A PERSECUTION COMPLEX....Don't these people know they are using an RC name...The Mass of Christ. In times past many an Evangelical minister preached againts Christmas as a Romanish and Pagan celebration( in my life time) ....the American Puritans made Christmas illegal.....Why are these these Evangelicals objecting to the word Holidays..or as I like to say Holy Days....So many religious holy days are packed into December...Christmas is just one.....store clerks are just trying to get through the season with out to much damage....

The early church didn't put much emphesis on the Mass of Christ..Easter was always much more important....
Christmas only became important when Christianity became a force in the Roman Empire. The Roman Church decided to Christianize the year end Winter festival and did so... choosing the 25th of December to celebrate the mass of the navitity of Christ. The Church choose the birthday of the Mithras( in the Julian calander the 25th was the Winter Solstice) .....Mithras was a Sun God originally from Persia and had a large following in the legions. The cult of Mithras was an all male cult..too. I like the sound of that...
The year end Roman festival of Saturnalia was a time of parties and gift giving..the current Christmas colors of Red and Green are legacies from that day....we still carry on in the same way today. Gods and names may have changed, but we are still celebrating .....So what's my point....

JUST QUIT WHINING AND BUY ME A PRESENT..CASH IS GOOD....

 

[bagley]

I find as I roam around the fair city of Los Angeles there are "all sorts and conditions of men." I mentioned that a few days ago in Hancock park public toilet a middle age white guy showed me his semi hard wood...in the old days I would have at least licked my lips...he wasn't gross or anything like that....I just wasn't in the mood...and my interest in NSA sex has really wained.... and normal middle class white dudes just don't turn me on. The day before the very cute latino barista at my morning coffee place caught me watching him...and he winked at me....and smiled.... and that turned me gaga the whole morning... so a nice cock ..just leaves me cold and a wink drives me crazy....jeez
I try and be an equal opportunity cruiser....but, I find that I am less drawn to younger white guys..unless they are showing a lot of tats on super white skin...
I am attracted to older muscle dad types...men with experience on their faces...
I am attracted to gay and bisexual men over forty who still have a sex gleam in their eye. Men who have self esteem and swaggers a bit. A man who isn't afraid to dominate and take charge. For me at least it is style over substance.

The Quick and Dirt

Our sex has been off a bit and the B/F has been moping ... Last night I came home from work and he was sitting on the sofa watching TV still in his suit....I went over and sat next to him and we started making out...kissing and stuff...I notice right away he had a stiff one...it's hard to hide that big thing.... so he let me take his cock out for a little cock worship....here is a strange fact about the B/F he does not normally Jack..even after a dry time ...me ...I jack at least once a day...and somethimes more....also, he never has any pre cum and I just juice it out....He pulled me up and whispered "I want to Fuck"....I really like to take an enema before anal sex. I like to be clean for him and it has become a ritual for us... and helps lub ...but I said " Let's do it" ...but, I made him put on a rubber...and we did it "doggy style on our sofa"...no foreplay.. him just ball deep slamming my up turned ass....and it hurt and it was over quick...it hurt in a good way..sort of taking my breathe away hurt..with a thrill of pleasure at the end of each stroke. After he came he jacked me while he fingered my sloppy hole....after in the shower I smelled his fingers.... his fingers smelled faintly of [my] stink...and that was mildly erotic. WHAT A MAN

P.S. Thinking back I guess there was a little fore play...he clamped his tie clip on my left nip...the metal teeth hurt...and he pulled on it for a while...the clip left teeth marks...it still hurts...hurts good...