Beautiful whatever.

[Oden_grey]

Fortunate,

Your story is very touching, but your relationship woes are also very common in relationships where one person is more attractive or more successful than the other.

I'm not going to argue with you about your looks (I have no idea what you look like), but if you are realistic about your looks that is all that matters. You don't have to adore the way you look to be content in your skin... you just have to promote the notion in your mind that you are just as worthy to breathe this world's air as the next guy... regardless of whether you can get on the cover of GQ.

Looks aside, your boyfriend seems like an amazing fellow... a guy with extremely good looks (according to you) AND a good deal of character about him. If you are as unattractive as you say you are (which I doubt because none of us are really as unattractive as we perceive ourselves to be) how can such a "god" approach you unless he was genuine. You made no indication that you are wealthy, popular or famous so I think this guy loves you for you. If only every average gay Joe could be in your shoes!

I guess what I'm saying to you is to buck up and stop wondering why your boyfriend digs you and start worrying about ways to please and appreciate your boyfriend in the furtherance of your relationship.

 

[riden3]

Dude, you're going to have to tell him the truth some time or another, so just get it over with now. Apologize if you think you have been acting out of line and for holding back but honostly, it's just not worth losing a relationship over b/c you don't think you're good enough. It's he decision if you're "worthy" of him and he has decided so b/c he obviously loves you. After you get this off your chest and tell him I'm sure he will be understanding and you'll feel 100 times better. What do you have to lose? He won't not like you for not feeling good enough, but will be able to reassure you that you are a wonderful person.

Besides, how can you have a low self image when you are with the man of your dreams!?

 

[Riverrick]

Take a moment and read Jockboy's post again. Its a great explanation of what your bf sees in you.

 

[innocentbychoice]

I just feel like I’m not good enough for him. He is so kind, and pretty and perfect, and so many people, people who are just better than me love him. I’m not a good person and I dont deserve him and I’m not worth it! I’m not that attractive, I’m manipulative and lie when I can. I just think I should let him go, so he can find someone else who will actually make him a happy, and they can be a proper beautiful couple…

I just felt like I needed to post this because I don't want to talk to anyone I know about this as I know they'll just tell me I'm being ridiculous

LOL. You're so funny. I do understand the feeling of being with someone everyone desires and how you feel that person is more attractive than you. Yeah, it's annoying and it makes you feel bad about yourself. And when he tells you you're beautiful u just feel like he just wants to make u feel good even though he knows you're a million years from being as hot as he is. It is irritating. On the other hand, be proud that you got him instead of the rest of people.

 

[Therobbyshow]

This might sound bad, and it's not meant to...but I would rather see you
be a man and get rid of him than make him pay emotionally for YOUR feelings.
If you would rather start fights (and say hurtful things to him to make him feel
bad) and lie to him than do a simple thing like sit down and talk, which
would probably solve this whole thing, then maybe you should let him go.
But don't whine and cry when you see him with somebody else, because
it was your choice. You just couldn't deal with the fact that he liked you
for who you were and not what you looked like...that you would rather
give up and quit, than just have a conversation with the guy. I hope you
come to your senses and do the logical thing because love is not easy to find.

This is strange...most complain about people being superficial...not that they
aren't

 

[confusedboy23]

Hmmm......I wonder how Fortunate is doing

 

[Riverrick]

I wonder the same thing. Hope he comes back.

 

[Fortunate]

All you guys are right, I was being an idiot and I was being manipulative and I was making him pay emotionally for my problems. But I am trying not to be those things anymore and I’m feeling much better about everything. All those insecurities I had before, they seem so small now and don’t seem to matter anymore because I just wised up!

It was a few nights ago and a group of us (including my boyfriend) had decided to go out because a lot of us are starting back at uni this week (and considering I passed my last semester by one mark, I really need to settle down) so we were gonna just go out and go mad. However, in true Irish fashion I went a bit too mad. Instead of pacing myself the way everyone else did, I HAD to down a half-litre of absinthe in about forty minutes and I was ridiculously hammered. Although, it was fun. Anyways, we go to the club and it was such a funny night because it was just such a good atmosphere and everyone was pretty pissed (i.e. drunk, for all you americanos). Anyways, we were in there for awhile before I spotted my boyfriend chatting with his ex. Now I am the EXACT opposite of a jealous boyfriend, my boyfriend talks to whoever he wants whenever, because I know he wont cheat on me because he is just too nice (and earlier in the relationship I think I would have been relieved if he cheated on me, because I could have got out!).

But I watched him and his ex (who is really attractive) chatting and laughing and I started getting all insecure, like wondering if his ex was a better boyfriend than me. So I just decided that that night I would just tell my boyfriend everything. Everything about how I hate the relationship sometimes, how I want out sometimes, how I am just consumed by insecurity sometimes and how I feel unworthy a lot of the time. Anyway, the club finishes, we all go back to a friends house.

Now I know this is selfish of me to start an argument when everyone is enjoying themselves and stuff, but I was drunk and I just wasn’t thinking. Anyway, I brought my boyfriend away from the group into another room and was ready to tell him everything, but he was laughing at me (in a funny way) for being so drunk. And for some reason, I can’t even remember why, I just started shouting at him about his ex and what they were doing tonight, even though I knew they had done nothing.

We started a big shouting match (he can shout louder than me) and people came in and pulled me away because they told me I was too drunk (I hate it when people tell me I am too drunk to do things, even though I always am when they say that). But after causing a drunken scene (which I absolutely hate and am so embarrassed about doing – so many people to apologise to in the morning) managed to get my boyfriend into a quiet room again.

It was at this point that we were either going to break up or stay together. And I just told him everything and at one point I nearly cried. I have a complex, and it’s not just with my boyfriend, its with everyone; I hate telling people about me, or about my emotions or insecurities or the way I think. I know some people find this easy, but I don’t, and even though I was a little drunk (I was sobering at this stage) it still took so much effort. But it paid off! Because my boyfriend just looked at me and said thanks for telling him. He was so happy that I’d finally opened up to him. He said that he was so in love with me. And I said it to him too, which is the first time I said it to anyone. Anyway, it was then that it all just clicked in my head. I mean, this boy is in love with me! I think I just wasn’t used to a relationship this intense. We had the best kiss ever…

Anyway, I still have some issues, but who doesn’t, and I’ve never felt better about this relationship or about my boyfriend. He said he noticed a change in me, and us, too. It's like, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I just wanted to say thanks for all the advice you guys gave me, and I know I seemed really annoying sometimes and for that I’m sorry, but just thanks for all your advice, I couldn’t have done it with out all of you!

 

[looseliam]

I'm glad to see it worked out!

Be sure to stick around and don't abandon us!

 

[Roland00]

I have a complex, and it’s not just with my boyfriend, its with everyone; I hate telling people about me, or about my emotions or insecurities or the way I think. I know some people find this easy, but I don’t, and even though I was a little drunk (I was sobering at this stage) it still took so much effort.

You just described me to the T.

Congrats , and let it be known you are a lucky bastard for finding a great guy and totally being in love with him. Certain queers, (*hint* *hint*) are so lucky currently in their love life

You may not be perfect Fortunate, but who is? (only acceptable answer here is your boyfriend and not even he is perfect ) I am glad things worked out for you Just relax and have fun, and whenever you get stressed whisper into your boyfriend's ear that you need a back massage. And maybe some other times when you aren't stressed

 

[Riverrick]

Yea, that's a really nice story. Made my eyes cloud up some. That was very brave of you. Congratulations!

 

[Centexfarmer]

That's great news!

Now stop being such a self-absorbed git, and love the guy who's loving you, and allow him to love you too!

Fortunate! That you are!

 

[confusedboy23]

OMG! This thread really brought tears to my eyes. Fortunate, you are just one really darn fortunate boy!!!

I'm glad it has all worked out and you are already experiencing a whole new dimension in your relationship with that HOT boy of yours.

Just remember the key to any good relationship is openness in communication!!!

You have all our best wishes