Wow. Thank you Lube. I gotta admit. I've never been to a play party too. But leather parties are fun. But really they aren't that much different then a normal gay party. Except sometimes protocols.
You sound like you are somewhat knowledgeable about the lifestyle. And strangely enough it doesn't surprise me lube.
I did state Marley that the agreements we make can't be held up in a court of law. It would be laughed at and probably ripped up. And sir even said if I don't choose to become his sub that he'd still give me advice and answer questions. And it's just a 3 month trial. I know the difference between reality and fantasy. I think about reality too much sometimes though.
My blog posts are really troublesome. I can't say I never saw this coming though.
Sir has said nothing about taking my money. In fact, he encouraged me to open a savings to save money. Which is a good idea. And I asked him about the parties I go to today and he said it's fine if I still go to them.
He is going to let me have an outside life. Especially since I'm part time.
And as for leaving. Sir told me a while back even. That if I wanted to leave he'd let me. He'd be really dissapointed and hurt. But he wouldn't stop me. And he couldn't really.
I will list the cons about this lifestyle marley. One is the dom breaks the agreements and starts hurting the slaves in ways that aren't part of scene and is just plain abuse and the slave is too afraid to contact someone.
Another is becoming obsessed with the lifestyle and needing more scene play and needing to get hit or flogged just to get turned on. That is more what molten rock was talking about. But he has misconceptions.
There is also a primal blood thirst that some doms can get. Where they need to punish their slave so much or hit so much that they draw blood. And this can be very dangerous. A sadist's danger is going too far and too much pain on the slave. And a masochist's danger is not knowing when too much is too much.
But I am not a sadist or a masochist. Sir is not a sadist either. Slave is also not a sadist or a masochist.
Another is the dom taking over the sub and not allowing the sub to have a life.
Another danger is hooking up with the wrong dom who has darker intentions in mind. Also doing a scene with someone you don't know. Like being tied up or something like that. EVEN IF A DOM TIES YOU LOOELY. Someone who is experienced with bondage. If you try to untie yourself then can quickly just grab your hand and raise it higher and then tie the rope to the point in which you cannot escape. Bondage and electric play are two of the most dangerous things to do with someone and require deep trust. Bondage being the second most dangerous and electric being first.
Another is if you are in a relationship with a dom and you both bareback. If he goes out and barebacks some guys and then comes home and infects you.
Some of the dangerous and red flags as well as cons in a vanilla relationship apply to a kinky one as well.
There are probably others. But like I said. I'm still learning.
And I don't neccesarily blame the others for their harsh responses. I said for people to say what they feel. While I might strongly disagree with what they say. I like to hear everyone's opinion.
But thank you Marley. While this lifestyle seems to confuse you you are analyzing it and wondering if it's really that great and want to know the bad side of it as well.
No relationship or lifestyle is perfect.
It takes work, trust, honor, commitment, and love.
I also know you are a bit worried about me Marley.
You are very right lube. WAY TOO MANY fake doms and subs out there.
And I am wondering if you know about old guard and protocols lube.
One thing that's common with old guard. Is that most masters in old guard. Have trained under a Sir. And have gone through the training that slaves go through. And through the training they have a better idea of what their slave feels when they become a master to their slave.
The sir who I keep mentioning. Was taken in by a master at an early age and was trained to be a master. But submitted to his trainer.
And usually in order for a master or dom to train you. Regardless of what you want to be. You usually have to submit to them. Sex is not always required. It is possible to live the lifestyle without sex. Some people can actually have relationships without sex. As unbelievable as it sounds. It is rare that it happens though. But most times the dom will want sex from the sub in exhange for training.
That to some is also a red flag. With Sir he agreed that he and his slave would not have sex with me. And that if sex happened I would have to be the one to ask for that or want it. And I guess I did later on >.>
But anyways.
I AM GONNA GET COLLARED
I emailed Sir the petition to be a slave and he was very impressed and we talked a bit tonight and he said that he is going to make the guidelines for me this weekend and get me a collar as well.
He gave me some early guidelines because I said with what little he told me that I would follow the guidelines that he already told me regardless of me not being collared yet in respect for my Sir and to show him my dedication.
So basically. I am going to become a slave. His slave. But like I said before. Until I see all the guidelines in documented form and until I go over them and agree or disagree on them and recieve my collar. Nothing is official yet.