Bedrooms and Bath Houses

[ChrisGibson]

Chapter Fourteen





























“I’m fine. I’m fine,” Ben Forrester was saying

“You don’t look fine,” Mike said. “You look like you’ve been in a car wreck.”

“I… I shouldn’t have even called.”

“Of course you should have called.” Mike aid, pulling up a chair.

Ben Forrester was sitting up in a hospital bed with bruises on his face, a bandage on his head and a drip.

“What happened to the other people?” Mike asked.

“What happened to the car?”

Ben shook his head. “Everyone’s alive. I’m just glad I have insurance.”

“Okay, well, Benny, I talked to the doctor—”

“You talked to the doctor?”

“Of course I did. And he says you’re about to be discharged in an hour, but you’re kind of out of it, so I’m going to take you home Alright?”

“My keys….”

“I got your keys.”

“How’d you get it all?”

“I told the doctor I was your boyfriend and he said, I think that’s wonderful and I’m going to treat you just like his wife, and then he gave them to me.”

Ben, snapped out of his whooziness enough for his blue eyes to roll wide open.

“I told him you were my brother,” Mike said flatly, “And that Mom was worried sick, but in Kansas.”

Ben laughed, and groaned because his head hurt.

“We’re from Kansas now?”

“Tonight we are,” Mike said.

Ben swallowed and looked around the hospital room. Joe and Doug were outside, but Swann and Chris were there.

“I was really, really out of line,” Ben said. “I was so mad.”

He lay back and shook his head.

Then he said, “That doesn’t sound like an apology.”

“It’s apology enough,” Swann said.

“No,” Ben said. “It isn’t. Cause I said a bunch of lies. I just needed to be angry with someone and I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you. Jack wasn’t there for you. I know that. Jack was wrong to you, and there was… I’m embarrassed by the way I acted. If I hadn’t been seeing so much red I wouldn’t have fucking been hit by a car.”

Swann nodded, feeling embarrassed.

“Well,” Ben said, “while I’m still clear headed, tell Sal when you see him—”

“Sal’s in the hall,” Swann said.

“What?”

“We’re all here,” Swann said.

Ben grinned painfully.

“That is really embarrassing.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Chris, who was sitting low with his long legs apart in a chair beside Swann sat up now.

“Could you… Damn, I’m thirsty.”

Mike scrambled to get the cup of water and bring it to Ben.

“Could you get Sal. So I can bite the bullet.”

“Bite the… It’s not necessary,” Swann began, but Chris had already gotten up.

The Sal who entered the room after Chris exited looked like the mild mannered Salvador Goode most of them were used to, and he said, a little nervously, “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ben said, exhaustedly.

“I’ve been in some bang ups for sure,” Sal said. “It can mess you up.”

“Look, Sal, I was an ass and you had every right to say what you said.”

“I… could have been better too. It’s just this guy,” he shook Swann’s shoulder. “He makes me do crazy things.”

“Don’t blame me for your behavior,” Swann said.

“Well, then the way I feel about him makes me—”

“Protective,” Ben said.

“Yeah,” Swann felt Sal’s fingers on his shoulder, massaging him unconsciously.

“I was wrong,” Ben said.

“We were all wrong, Benny,” Mike said. “There’s not really anything right about any of this.”

Ben nodded, but as he did, his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and he rubbed it while blinking.

“I will be glad to get some rest in a bed. I’m glad I’m not concussed.”

Sal suddenly surprised Swann by sitting on his lap, snuggling his butt against his crotch and placing Swann’s arms around him.

“But how are we going to make it right?” Ben said.

“You can worry about it tomorrow,” Sal said,

“Everything isn’t wrong,” Swann said, as he held onto Sal’s waist. “Love is right. It’s always right. I think.”

 

[ChrisGibson]

“Listen to this shit,” Mike had murmured that first night he and Doug had made love.

“If it had happened properly we’d be in a beautiful hotel room or some house on the lake. Not my ratty old apartment, listening to all the cars drive by.”

Mike’s hand brushed across the inside of Doug’s as they lay together and he kissed Doug’s shoulder, and then kissed him down his back.

“You know none of that matters to me.”

Doug turned around so the two of them faced each other, and the faint light of the city outside shone into the darkness of the room and lit Mike’s hair, his shoulders, made a line down his profile and over his torso.

“It seems to me that we haven’t been proper yet, so why should this be proper.”

Mike grunted and placed Doug on his back, straddling him He bent down to kiss him roughly, and Doug pulled him down. They held to each other, their bodies joining, Doug’s hands fiercely rubbing his shoulders, caressing the line of his spine, going to the small of his back.

“I love it when you touch my ass,” Mike told him.

“I love touching your ass.”

In the bed they turned over and lay on their backs, and on the other side of the door, Doug heard Mike’s neighbors coming down the hallway.

“How did it feel?” he asked.

“When you grabbed my ass?”

“No stupid,” Doug said. “When we… when we got back here?”

Mike giggled like a little boy, and when Doug looked at him, he kept giggling.

“What?”

“It felt… like when you really have to go to the bathroom, and then you finally get to your apartment and its there, and you can go. Like when your bladder’s about to explode.”

“Are you trying to tell me sex felt like going to the bathroom?”

Mike laughed even louder, drawing his knees to his chest so the covers fell away and he lay on his back naked and giggling.

“No… dope. Well. Not really. It’s just that…. It’s just that,” he said, still smiling and touching Doug, “I’ve wanted to be with you so bad I feel like I’m going to explode and then tonight….”

“You exploded.”

“Ha.”

“You really did.”

“I tried to be gentle.”

“You were gentle. We were both gentle. To a point.”

“To the point where we didn’t want to be.”

“Itn’t it funny,” Mike said, turning around, “How we talk about lovemaking, but—”

“In the end it’s fucking.”

“I wasn’t going to put it that way.”

“How were you going to put it?”

“It was kind of dirty, wasn’t it?” Mike said. “I like doing dirty stuff with you. I feel like the safer you are with someone, the more intense it can be. I… the whole time I was talking about patiently waiting for you, I don’t think I let myself think of what I really wanted to do.”

“Well you did this,” Doug turned over.

“Holy crap!” Mike said.

“You turn over.”

Mike did and Doug touched his back. He winced.

“I gave as good as I got.”

“You wanna go out?”

“We’re coming back, aren’t we.”

Mike nodded as he climbed out of bed,

“Oh, we are most certainly coming back. I’m not through with you, Doug Merrin.”

Doug reclined on his shoulder and admired Michael’s body in the night. He climbed out of bed so he could stand behind him and pull Mike onto his lap.

“We’ll never get out if you don’t let me go so I can get dressed.”

“The night’s young, and so are we.”

“That sounds like the kind of line you end a book on,” Mike said.

“Yes,” Doug acknowledged. “And it’s a little bit lame, but here’s the thing. It’s true.”

“Why have I felt so old, then? All this time.”

“You feel old now?” Doug asked.

Mike Buren shook his head and bent so that his soft bottle brush hair touched Doug’s short naps, and their foreheads pressed together.

“I feel like I could die in this place.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

I am glad Ben is ok and that the characters have somewhat made up. That was some excellent writing and I look forward to more whenever it arrives.

 

[ChrisGibson]

While Mike tried not to cry and didn’t succeed, Doug drove them to Ben’s place. Ben sat in the backseat of Doug’s car, dozing, and Doug said, “Michael, everything’s alright now.”

Mike hadn’t made any noise. He just sat there looking the way he often did, expressionless, a little hard, but tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“I know,” he nodded. “I know.”

“Everything will be alright,” Doug said. “It’s a mess now, but it’ll turn out right in the end.”

Because Mike, in fact, did not know that, he didn’t say anything,

By now they were in the north part of town near campus, driving past the old fancy brick Orrington Hotel and coming toward the first stately buildings of Northwestern.

“You’ll have to direct me, now,” Doug said, and in the empty night where the traffic lights shone on streets with no cars, Michael did and Doug commented, “Well, this is a bit bigger than Saint Damian’s.”

“Yeah, it is,” Mike said.

When they arrived at the high rise where Ben stayed, Mike shook him awake.

“Are you staying?” Ben asked Doug.

“I was headed back home.”

“Don’t do that,” Ben said. “Please stay. I’m not going to be any kind of company to Mike, and he insists on staying.”

Doug nodded.

“If I’m welcome, I’ll stay.”

“I’m welcoming you,” the tall man who was trying not to lean on Mike said, “so please stay.”





The early spring in 1990 was the first time everyone was sure that Eutropius Prynne would be abbot within days. Abbot Merrill came down with pneumonia and no one, including him, thought he’d survive. To his surprise, Prynne was terrified. The time he did not spend at Abbot Merrill’s side, he spent in the little chapel in Northwest Tower. The whole school knew. Ben Forrester and Jack Knapp came, looking solemn, and asked Brother Prynne if they could do anything to help.

Prynne was glad for their coming, because he put himself together in front of the boys, and when he pretended to be together, when he felt like he actually was.

“Your prayers,” Prynne said. “Your prayers are what we need.”

“You know, Father,” Ben, in his perpetual plaid, shrugged, “if canceling class and not giving out homework will help, we can live with that.”

“Get out of here,” Prynne said, “and cut your hair.”

But Merrill did recover, and Herulian said, “We’re out of the woods now, but you’re going to have to be ready when the time-”

“When I need you to tell me to how to be, Benjamin, I’ll let you know.”

He was practically running things anyway. This was a while before he would find out about the abuse later that year, and spend some time dealing with that and getting past his own heartbreak. Benji, who had learned when to shut up, was driving him around the schools of the area to recruit boys for the next few years. It was usually Benji who did the talks. He was handsome and fun and charismatic, good at selling things though, in the end people came to Prynne who was sitting at a little table. Prynne was good at explaining things and grounding people.

They were at Bishop Ward School outside of Benton one day when a young couple he just liked came up to the little table after a talk. The man was curly haired with a large nose and glasses, and the woman was blond and tough looking, pretty but she looked like she enjoyed a good time.

“So here’s the thing, Father—”

“It’s just brother,” Prynne said.

“Brother,” the man corrected himself. “I’m Jewish—”

“You’re half Jewish,” his wife interrupted.

“There’s no such thing, babe.”

“You were brought up Presbyterian.”

“It’s complicated,” the man said. “And Louise over here is a good Catholic girl.”

“I’m not that good,” she said, taking out her lipstick and reapplying it. “I mean, I married you.”

“Brother, one of these days I’m sure my wife will let me finish what I’m trying to say.”

“Excuse the hell out of me,” she murmured.

“What I’m trying to say is we don’t know how we feel about God. Or about church, and we’re kind of wanting to send out son to public school. But he really likes your place. He’s curious about it, and he doesn’t really ask for much. I mean, he’s a good kid.”

“He gets it from me,” Louise said.

“Do you think you could talk to him?” the man asked. “Don’t convince him or unconvince him or anything. Just maybe talk with him?”

“And frankly talk with us, cause I hate the idea of my kid not being home.”

“I’ll be glad to,” Prynne said. “But of course, you know it’s a day school too. It might be a bit of a drive from Benton, but it is manageable. Where’s your son?”

“The giraffe kicking the soccer ball over there. Ronald, get him.”

Ronald put his hand to his mouth and Louise said, “Don’t you dare shout.”

He got up and crossed the gym and a few minutes came back with one of those boys who was always moving and who was already six feet tall.

“Get that silly look off your face,” Louise said to him with no malice and handed him a stick of gum, “Say hello to Brother Prynne.”

“Hi, Brother Prynne!” the boy said, thrusting out his large hand. His voice was high and reedy and ready to crack, and he was almost growing out of his jersey, but he was handsome and eager.

“I’m Chris!” he said. “Chris Navarro.”



“I know that kid,” Benji said as they headed back to Saint Francis. “He’s an altar boy over at Rosary when Andy does Mass there.”

Prynne laughed and said, “I imagine he’d be hard to miss.

“Well, I hope he does come here. He’s a really sweet kid. And I like his parents.”

“Are we really going to their house?”

“They invited us. Of course we’re going.”

When they had parked and come through the back of the school, Prynne said, “Early dinner in the Northwest Tower?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go get Andy. I want to ask him about this Chris.”

In the large lobby outside of the gym, he ran into Jack Knapp and told him he was on his way to find Father Reed.

“Good thing I caught you, Brother. Father Reed and Father Roberts are at that old house across the field. They were headed out to Saint Damian’s, I think. If you hurry you might catch ‘em.”

 

[ChrisGibson]

“Thank you, Jack,” Prynne said and turned around, heading to the house that had, after all, been his for years and that Andy had grown up in. He’d been talking about fixing it up for a long time, and the paint was old and it was slightly vine grown. It didn’t take long to cross the field and enter his old house. He opened the refrigerator Well, at least they kept it stocked, and got a beer for himself. Andy could get his own beer, and he headed through the old house, but no one was there. For a bit he stood in the old living room and looked at the sofas and the lamps, the chairs which hadn’t been changed since the Fifties. He thought of what it would be like to make this his hermitage again, if things ever came to that. Or better—and less selfish—to make it a place for senior year students or senior brothers, or even postulants.

He heard furniture move upstairs, a bump.

“So I was wrong,” Prynne murmured, and went up the old creaky stair, and after that he would always think, but it was an old creaky stair, they certainly should have heard him.

But they did not. They were on the bed, making love, and it took a moment for Prynne to understand what he was seeing, for them to understand they were being seen. Prynne pulled the door close so the hallway was suddenly darkened, and no one on any side of the door said anything. No one moved.

At last, Eutropius Prynne said, “Get dressed, please. I’ll be in the Northwest Tower.”



When Andy arrived in the Northwest Tower with Ted Roberts, Herulian was sitting at the Abbot’s desk and Prynne was sitting on it. He rose and approached the door as Father Roberts was entering.

“Prynne,” he began, “the thing is—”

“Get out,” Prynne said tonelessly, and closed the door in the priest’s face.

Prynne said nothing to Andrew Reed. He just sat down in a chair by the door.

No one said anything, and finally Andy said, “You weren’t supposed to see what you saw.”

“You weren’t supposed to do what you did.”

“Did you have to drag Benji into it?”

“He’s the prior,” Prynne returned, both of them speaking as if he wasn’t there. “It was either him or the whole house. And I certainly wasn’t going to wake up Merrill for this.”

“What are you planning to do?”

Prynne just looked at him.

“Thomas—”

“How long has this been going on?”

“A while,” Andy said after a while.

“A long while.”

When Prynne’s face didn’t change, Andy said, “It’s… it’s a lot to tell, but am I telling it to my friend or am I telling it to Brother Eutropius?”

“Your friend is Brother Eutropius,” Herulian finally spoke, sounding sad an irritated.

“I…” Andy began, “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Prynne said. “Please go. It’s almost time for Lauds. I have to talk with Benji.”

“I don’t think I want to go to Lauds today.”

‘I don’t think any of us wants to go to Lauds,” Prynne said. “I don’t think any of wants to do a lot of the things we do, but we do them, I’ll see you at Lauds,”

Prynne dismissed the priest.

When the door had closed Prynne waited a few moments and then he looked to his best friend who had stood up and rounded the desk.

“You knew,” he said. “Didn’t you?”

“I… suspected.”

Prynne nodded.

“I didn’t want to say anything because all it would have done was brought us to the moment we’re at right now. And you had a lot on your plate. You have a lot on your plate. This is just one more thing.

“And then… who am I? Who am I to judge or to try to get them in trouble. After all… and you know it, I’ve had my own indiscretion.”

Prynne nodded.

Herulian shook his head.

“In that house of all places.”

“We should burn that damn thing down.”

“I loved her,” HErulian said. “She’d never seen me in a habit. She just thought of me as Benjamin, and she was… I almost left the order for her.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“She didn’t want me to. And I don’t think I really wanted to. And then, I love you. You know, I almost left this place until you came. You’re almost like my damn wife, Prynne.”

Herulian shook his head.

“But… I know it needed to stop, but I can’t honestly say I regret it. I loved it. I loved her. I miss women. I miss sex. I can’t blame Andy.”

“And yet blame or no blame we have to make a decision.”

“I gave up Lydia and chose this life.”

“Andy hasn’t given up anything. And if we do nothing, then he won’t.”

Prynne pressed his glasses up his nose.

“What should we do?”

“I don’t know.”

“No, Benjamin. You must know. You are the Prior.”

“But you—”

“Am someone who may be Abbot. But there is an acting Abbot. He can’t decide, so you must decide, and I will support you.”

“We do nothing,” Herulian said. “I can’t embarrass them. It will split apart the house, cause unnecessary scandal. I don’t want to be looking under doors and in peoples’ beds. We tell them to not get caught again—”

“Not to stop doing it?”

“You think that’s realistic?”

“No,” Prynne shook his head. “But I wondered if you did.”

“No,” Herulian did. “We keep this between us, and we don’t bring it up again.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

Those were great portions! I like getting back to Prynne centred stuff. I am still enjoying this story a lot and look forward to more soon!

 

[ChrisGibson]

I feel bad that the posting has taken a hit because of me traveling a lot. I always mean to post twice a week, but it doesn't usually happen that way these days.

 

[ChrisGibson]

Life must move on. Things must keep going. There was the dinner at this Navarro family’s place to get ready for, and he and Herulian could not take an early meal in the Northwest Tower. Andy had seen to that. Herulian would tell Andy and Ted Roberts what the two of them had decided, and however he chose to tell them was his business. Prynne went to find Abbot Merrill, who was still feeling fragile, and accompanied him to Vespers.

“Oh, God come to my assistance,” half of them sang when Father Rouen struck the clapper

“Oh, Lord make haste to help me,” sang the others.

“Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,” they all proclaimed, “as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end, Amen.”

But the world would end. The world was ending every day, so was it the praise that did not end, or did praise exist in a different world, in the world of the eternal that, like a tapestry, this was only the messy backside? Was eternity not the stretching of time, but the other side of it, the world where the frayed ends came together and the messy decisions were made unmessy?



Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Lord my God, how great you are,

clothed in majesty and glory,


wrapped in light as in a robe.

You stretch out the heavens like a tent.

Above the rains you build your dwelling.

You make the clouds your chariot,

you walk on the wings of the wind...



No, he did not blame them. If you loved someone, you loved them. He did, however wonder about himself. Why had love never come to him? He loved the order. He loved his place in it and his work, but if even in this house love had come, why in the world had it never come to him? The virginity that was supposed to be a blessing and a calling nearly felt like a failing. No, but that was his to deal with. That was the very reason this thing must remain between him and Herulian and never be spoken about or shone to the rest of the house. It would not encourage holiness, it would encourage jealously. It would raise up the many feelings of inadequacy It would raise up ugly old hatreds and bigotries. No, they had handled it. They had handled it well.

But Andy had asked him “Am I telling it to my friend or am I telling it to Brother Eutropius?”



“Blessed is the man

Alleluia!

who has not walked in the counsel of the wicked.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!”



For the Lord knows the way of the just,

but the way of the wicked shall perish.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!”







Herulian’s answer was not quite honest. Brother Eutropius was almost Tommy Prynne, but Brother Eutropius was now abbot in all but name, and responsible for the running of a religious house. Tommy Prynne was a boyhood friend, and both of them thought that when Andy had asked this, he was looking for a friend, needing to talk to his friend. But then again, maybe he was making this up, Prynne thought. After all, he’d been wrong before.



By now he had fallen into his comfortable schedule. Compline ended around eight and he came up to the Northwest Tower office to grade papers, and Prynne went from there into the Northeast wing where he was nominally an assistant RA and checked on the boys. This was the year that he and Herulian were keeping rooms on the second and third floor so that when they were needed, they were on hand. Prynne would go to bed around eleven after making sure that the boys were, if not asleep, not obviously out of hand. An hour nap would follow, and then he would head to Vigils. The real sleep, the prized sleep occurred between Vigils and Lauds.

But now, while he was grading, there was a tap of the door and Andy stuck his head in. He was dressed in his priestly black and he entered and sat before Prynne who lifted a finger while he finished reading an essay and shook his head.

“James started the paper so well, and then midway through I was pretty sure he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Well, he’s on the second floor so we may discuss that before the night is over.”

He took out his cigarettes, turned around and pulled out a bottle of brandy. He offered it, and Andy shook his head.

“Suit yourself,” Prynne said, pulled out a glass from the desk and filled it halfway.

 

[ChrisGibson]

“We need to talk,” Andy said.

“Yeah,” Prynne agreed.

“I’m not good at it. I’ve kept secrets for a long time.”

“I guess you have,” Prynne said.

“Ted isn’t new. I mean, this didn’t just happen.”

“I’m guessing that has something to do with why you were so… hesitant when he first came here three years ago?”

“Me and Ted have been together… a long time.”

“How long?”

“Do you remember when Jeff died?”

“Of course I do.”

“You stayed in Chicago and came back the next day.”

“I was feeling very bad, Worse than I let on.”

“I know. Jason told us.”

“Oh.”

“I… That same night I went to Ted.”

“Wasn’t he…?”

“He was a high school senior. We’d always been close.”

“He was your assistant, like he is now.”

“Yes. And we’d discussed our feelings, but I said it was wrong, for a bunch of reasons. But that night I went to him, and that’s when it began.”

“You were about to be ordained. You were a member of this order.”

“I know. And… it went on. It went on when he went to college. Sometimes I went to him. Sometimes he came here. It stopped when he went to seminary, but it started again not long after he came here. And I was happy. We have been happy.”

“I have known… none of this,” Prynne said.

“I wanted to tell you.”

“No one has known, have they?”

“Tommy, I’ve been secret about a lot. I… Jeff was my boyfriend.”

“I gathered that much.”

“And when he died I went out. I went out to the bath house and I was with men and after that it was easier to be with Ted, to break my vow.”

Prynne said nothing, but nodded, and so Andy continued talking.

“Those trips, back when we were in school, the track trips, when you all would go to Chicago, they were the best for me because I wasn’t ugly Andy. I wasn’t Andy who looked like a chicken. I was a runner and I was good looking and that was the start of my sex life. A lot went on in those weekends.”

“You do know that…. If you went to those bath houses, then you slept with Ted, you could have given him AIDS?”

“I’ve….” Andy cleared his throat, “I’ve thought about that. Since. I didn’t understand at the time. I…Tommy, I know it sounds like I’m an awful person, like I’m the very person who is the opposite of the man that stands up in the pulpit on Sunday, but… I just… what was I supposed to do? Tell Benji? Tell Jason? Tell you everything?”

Prynne did not speak. He lit a cigarette which he did not smoke, and sat back in his chair.

“You are one of my oldest friends,” Prynne said. “We are supposed to be brothers.”

“I couldn’t have come to you with this.”

“But you’re coming to me with it now? Aren’t you?”

“I should have told you,” Andy said. “Shouldn’t I?”

Of course there were all sorts of things Prynne hadn’t told Andy, but none of them was nearly as deep as this, and it would be almost a year before Andy told him about being abused. There were things Prynne knew about Herulian that no one else knew, not even Jason, and there were secrets Jason had told him that he hadn’t ever told anyone else. Men were made of secrets, except for the ones who had become too stupid to remember their actual lives and substituted them with false ones. Those men were made of lies.

Andy shook his head and said, “I should have told you.”

Prynne shrugged and noticed his cigarette burned half away.

“You could have,” he said.