JarodA
JUB Addict
Enough said. All it does is fill you with guilt. Sorry, I've just been struggling with this.
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Being gay and raised Christian sucks.
- Thread starter JarodA
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DiverDude
Sex God
So have I.
I finally realized that God made me gay; it wasn't my personal choice. I really hated myself for a long time because I was different, but convinced myself that it was a challenge that I had to rise to accept. I now take church not at face value, but for positive guidance in my life. I accept others and realize that we are all people that need help and support from one another. Never judge - it's not our job. Never look on a person's sins, but instead on their character.
I was raised Catholic and love the history and traditions of my church. Although I am an 'abomination' by the preachings of my spiritual leaders, I have to remind myself that it's humans that decide so much in my theology and not God Himself.
I know we all take different viewpoints on religious matters, but this is the best that I can offer and hope that you do well in your struggles with this aspect of your life.
I finally realized that God made me gay; it wasn't my personal choice. I really hated myself for a long time because I was different, but convinced myself that it was a challenge that I had to rise to accept. I now take church not at face value, but for positive guidance in my life. I accept others and realize that we are all people that need help and support from one another. Never judge - it's not our job. Never look on a person's sins, but instead on their character.
I was raised Catholic and love the history and traditions of my church. Although I am an 'abomination' by the preachings of my spiritual leaders, I have to remind myself that it's humans that decide so much in my theology and not God Himself.
I know we all take different viewpoints on religious matters, but this is the best that I can offer and hope that you do well in your struggles with this aspect of your life.
JarodA
JUB Addict
Hey thanks. 
DiverDude
Sex God
Yeah. Absolutely.
I hope that helped.... It's not often that I discuss things on an ideological level.
I hope that helped.... It's not often that I discuss things on an ideological level.
AsianDream
PISS LOVER
I was raised a Bhudist - and it still sucks being gay.
I've abandoned my faith for other reasons (theres no evidence its true) - but if you want to believe in religion - there are many versions of Christianity (and other religions) that are not anti-gay - so look to these for guidance
JarodA
JUB Addict
At this point I'm done with religion I think. I'm pretty fed up with it.
Matthew522000
Sex God
JarodA, I believe what DiverDude says spells it out the best. I tend to agree with what he said. We can not help being gay, it is the way we were born and no other person should judge us for the way we live our lives. If we are religious, then that is between us and God. I have been religious all my life and gay. I may not agree with everything the church or the pastor says or preaches, but I still attend to worship God, not the preacher or anyone else there.
Many, many of us have faced what you are ging through and I hand it to you and to DiverDude to ask, confront, and offer answers. But we all have to make our on choices.
Many, many of us have faced what you are ging through and I hand it to you and to DiverDude to ask, confront, and offer answers. But we all have to make our on choices.
I've known these books to help others who have struggled with this issue.
"What the Bible Really says about Homosexuality" and "Stranger at the Gate"
Both of these books are mentioned at this link...
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/What-Bible-Really-About-Homosexuality/dp/188636009X"]Amazon.com: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality: Daniel A. Helminiak: Books[/ame]
You don't have to give up on Christianity to be gay. Many branches and flavors of the church are inclusive.
"What the Bible Really says about Homosexuality" and "Stranger at the Gate"
Both of these books are mentioned at this link...
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/What-Bible-Really-About-Homosexuality/dp/188636009X"]Amazon.com: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality: Daniel A. Helminiak: Books[/ame]
You don't have to give up on Christianity to be gay. Many branches and flavors of the church are inclusive.
For me it depends on how you define Christianity. Is it the teaching and life of Jesus Christ or the teaching and life of Paul? Jesus represented love, acceptance, and rebellion against the religious establishment that persecuted anyone that was different. I truly believe that if Jesus were to be born today he would be vilified and persecuted just as he was in his day. When I realized that most churches do not channel the spirit of Christ, I learned to have peace about being different.
soccerboy029
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I've never heard it said this way. Thank you for this.
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To me, religion should provide a set of values to help a person life a live that contributes to the betterment of the world and others that live within the world.
A religion that adds values that do not promote self worth, self love, understanding and cooperation has abandoned religion and entered into being just a business, catering to the needs of groups rather than the whole.
I hope you live your life, that you celebrate your life and ignore the negativity and hypocrisy of others.
take care,
Rand
A religion that adds values that do not promote self worth, self love, understanding and cooperation has abandoned religion and entered into being just a business, catering to the needs of groups rather than the whole.
I hope you live your life, that you celebrate your life and ignore the negativity and hypocrisy of others.
take care,
Rand
This seems to be a popular misunderstanding. Christianity doesn't say that being gay is a choice. Acting upon gay feelings is the sin, not having them. God "making" you gay doesn't mean that it's right to act on it.
Not saying that I agree with that. I can just see where the op's frustration is coming from. I've had similar feelings and I was never even that close to religion.
buddy1970
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I would have to agree. I was raised Mormon, and the emphasis is on the behavior, not the feelings. I never felt guilty for being attracted to dicks, but it's not just that they want you to be celibate for life. They also want you to continue to attend and participate as a celibate adult single, standing on the outside watching all the straight men and women have sex and reproduce. They've basically invited the servants to the party at the mansion, as it were.
Thanks, but no thanks. I say dump Christianity now and embrace something else entirely. You need love and you need your freedom. Hook up (so to speak) with other ex-Christian gay guys who can sympathize. Good luck to you.
I understand what you're saying completely.
I've lived in a very conservative, fundamentalist Evangelical Christian environment my entire life. I spent much of my time worrying about whether I was going to hell--I've known that I am gay for as long as I can remember--and if God loved me or not. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made: if I'm gay, and I had no choice in the matter, than God made me that way; but "God Hates Fags," as the saying goes; therefore, God created me to hate me? As ridiculous as that logic is, I clung to it and walked a path of loneliness and self-loathing. Lonely, because it's hard to truly be friends with people if you can't accept/love yourself. I hated myself because I was told to--I was a sinner, naturally. I had no choice in the matter. Hating myself was the least I could do to atone.
This compounded over the years, and as I grew in knowledge and 'faith,' the more difficult the contradiction became to hold on to.
It was not until I was a junior in high school that this literally destroyed me. I'm not going to get into the details, but suffice it to say that I am not the same person as I was.
I don't know what your circumstances are, but I can tell you some things that I have come to understand. Some of the above posters have touched on them (however deeply is irrelevant to what I am going to say).
1. God, if indeed there is one, is exactly what he/she says he/she is: "I AM that I AM."
This means that God (again, assuming there is one) simply IS. He/she is what he/she is: God.
2. God, being God, is infinite.
Infinity is defined as greater than any particular quantity--or, said differently, than any particular definition. So, God transcends definition.
3. Dogma and condemnations are definitions.
Saying that God favors this and hates that is defining a being that IS infinitely--hence, denying his/her nature. The priesthood betrays God in this way.
4. God is Love.
Explains itself.
God is love, infinitely. Does not love exist between straights and gays alike? Does not God love his/her creation? Does not his mercy endure forever?
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that simply being you is the greatest worship you could offer God, if you believe in him/her. Be what God created you to be.
Of course, if you don't believe in God (in the Judeo-Christian sense, anyways), then this is all hogwash and what the church thinks makes no difference.
I know this is dragging on, but I'd just like to let you (and anyone else who has this problem) know that I'm always available to talk about this. Just pm me.
Have a great day!
I've lived in a very conservative, fundamentalist Evangelical Christian environment my entire life. I spent much of my time worrying about whether I was going to hell--I've known that I am gay for as long as I can remember--and if God loved me or not. The more I thought about it, the less sense it made: if I'm gay, and I had no choice in the matter, than God made me that way; but "God Hates Fags," as the saying goes; therefore, God created me to hate me? As ridiculous as that logic is, I clung to it and walked a path of loneliness and self-loathing. Lonely, because it's hard to truly be friends with people if you can't accept/love yourself. I hated myself because I was told to--I was a sinner, naturally. I had no choice in the matter. Hating myself was the least I could do to atone.
This compounded over the years, and as I grew in knowledge and 'faith,' the more difficult the contradiction became to hold on to.
It was not until I was a junior in high school that this literally destroyed me. I'm not going to get into the details, but suffice it to say that I am not the same person as I was.
I don't know what your circumstances are, but I can tell you some things that I have come to understand. Some of the above posters have touched on them (however deeply is irrelevant to what I am going to say).
1. God, if indeed there is one, is exactly what he/she says he/she is: "I AM that I AM."
This means that God (again, assuming there is one) simply IS. He/she is what he/she is: God.
2. God, being God, is infinite.
Infinity is defined as greater than any particular quantity--or, said differently, than any particular definition. So, God transcends definition.
3. Dogma and condemnations are definitions.
Saying that God favors this and hates that is defining a being that IS infinitely--hence, denying his/her nature. The priesthood betrays God in this way.
4. God is Love.
Explains itself.
God is love, infinitely. Does not love exist between straights and gays alike? Does not God love his/her creation? Does not his mercy endure forever?
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that simply being you is the greatest worship you could offer God, if you believe in him/her. Be what God created you to be.
Of course, if you don't believe in God (in the Judeo-Christian sense, anyways), then this is all hogwash and what the church thinks makes no difference.
I know this is dragging on, but I'd just like to let you (and anyone else who has this problem) know that I'm always available to talk about this. Just pm me.
Have a great day!
Hear, hear, Diver Dude! As a fellow Catholic I couldn't have said it better myself.
I have only recently (over the past year or so) begun accepting my homosexuality as God-given (and even a gift, though one which comes with great hardship) rather than seeing it as some psychological, moral or spiritual defect, which is precisely what the Catholic Church's hierarchy, and many other conservative Christian leaders, want gay people to think about themselves.
Don't let them get away with it. Don't let anyone, whether in the Church or outside the Church (even other gay people who hate Christianity!), convince you that you can't live a fully Christian life and flourish sexually at the same time.
JarodA
JUB Addict
mars 1013,
I've been raised in conservative evangelical setting as well, only with the particular church I've been raised in, they think that they're the only ones saved. I got over that belief long ago though, and looked into a different church but then the fact that I was gay still kept me from wanting to convert in the end because they'd make me be celibate my whole life.
I'm at the point where I'm done with religion. I think my plan at the moment is wait until I'm done with the church I've grown up in first of all (it's hard to leave at the moment), and generally distance myself from religion. Then in a few years (like, when I'm in my late-20s) I'll deal with the possibility that I might become an Atheist.
I've been raised in conservative evangelical setting as well, only with the particular church I've been raised in, they think that they're the only ones saved. I got over that belief long ago though, and looked into a different church but then the fact that I was gay still kept me from wanting to convert in the end because they'd make me be celibate my whole life.
I'm at the point where I'm done with religion. I think my plan at the moment is wait until I'm done with the church I've grown up in first of all (it's hard to leave at the moment), and generally distance myself from religion. Then in a few years (like, when I'm in my late-20s) I'll deal with the possibility that I might become an Atheist.
I am a gay christian. However, I do not believe that having gay sex is a sin. The way I look at it is that God made me gay, so why would I have same sex attraction, yet not be able to express it like everybody else? Being left out is ridiculous.
JarodA,
If that's what you feel you need to do, then do it--I'm an atheist, albeit a very spiritual one. You don't have to be religious--like Telstra said--to be spiritual. A life devoid of spirituality is not a life, I think.
But it ultimately comes down to you and what you want/need; it is your life, your health, your happiness. Never let anyone tell you different.
If that's what you feel you need to do, then do it--I'm an atheist, albeit a very spiritual one. You don't have to be religious--like Telstra said--to be spiritual. A life devoid of spirituality is not a life, I think.
But it ultimately comes down to you and what you want/need; it is your life, your health, your happiness. Never let anyone tell you different.
