B
blackbeltninja
Guest
Right, easy enough and the title should speak for itself. This is the part where you tell us the embarrassing medical mishaps you've had. I'll start:
Last night, The Twins were a little sensitive. They get like that sometimes; I usually don't stress. As it was, I had been wearing looser boxers than my usual snug trunks and put it down to gravity. This morning they were still a little tender. In my rush out the door to sort out final details for my mom's new car, I ignored it completely. Went about my day as usual with a minor-enough level of discomfort, but nothing visibly wrong.
Cue 5pm, at gym. Getting changed into my dubious Speedo and I happen to realise that the discomfort has progressed somewhat and the accompanying visuals are ninjaballs the size of cricket balls.
Quick Google search on my phone in the locker room (never ever do that if you want reassurance that you're not dying) reveals a number of lethal, serious and minor causes all of which say "zOMG Get to Casualty IMMEDIATELY!!!!!" I was expecting to have something surgical, since that was the treatment for almost all the conditions listed.
Cue trip across the road to Casualty; fortunately my gym is literally opposite one of our top private hospitals. Because the last time I was there I had a hot doctor, I did quickly shower up at the gym and put on clean undies (very swish cK Steel trunks in blue
) because you just never know who might be doing the examination. 
As it was, it was a stern older gentleman who went to varsity with both my current and former bosses at the local medical school where I'm doing my PhD.
Verdict: Epididymo-orchitis; swelling of the epididymis and testicles from a bacterial or viral infection, often STD related (not in my case; glove up, kids!) but frequently also linked to a common UTI. I was wondering whether I'd caught something from the young gentleman I enjoyed the sex with last weekend even though we were very careful.
Sub-verdict: I don't think the doc was impressed by the effort I put into showering and putting on clean undies.
Treatment: two hefty anitbiotics and a combo painkiller/anti-inflammatory to ease the pain and let some air out of the industrial-sized scrotum I was packing at the time.
So that's how I spent my Saturday night. I'm now JUBbing the afterglow of some heavy medication. Since I'm still a lot tender and swollen
, JUBbers offering to massage my little ninjas to "make them better" 
will get a frosty reply 
Right, your turn.
-d-
Last night, The Twins were a little sensitive. They get like that sometimes; I usually don't stress. As it was, I had been wearing looser boxers than my usual snug trunks and put it down to gravity. This morning they were still a little tender. In my rush out the door to sort out final details for my mom's new car, I ignored it completely. Went about my day as usual with a minor-enough level of discomfort, but nothing visibly wrong.
Cue 5pm, at gym. Getting changed into my dubious Speedo and I happen to realise that the discomfort has progressed somewhat and the accompanying visuals are ninjaballs the size of cricket balls.
Quick Google search on my phone in the locker room (never ever do that if you want reassurance that you're not dying) reveals a number of lethal, serious and minor causes all of which say "zOMG Get to Casualty IMMEDIATELY!!!!!" I was expecting to have something surgical, since that was the treatment for almost all the conditions listed.Cue trip across the road to Casualty; fortunately my gym is literally opposite one of our top private hospitals. Because the last time I was there I had a hot doctor, I did quickly shower up at the gym and put on clean undies (very swish cK Steel trunks in blue
) because you just never know who might be doing the examination. As it was, it was a stern older gentleman who went to varsity with both my current and former bosses at the local medical school where I'm doing my PhD.Verdict: Epididymo-orchitis; swelling of the epididymis and testicles from a bacterial or viral infection, often STD related (not in my case; glove up, kids!) but frequently also linked to a common UTI. I was wondering whether I'd caught something from the young gentleman I enjoyed the sex with last weekend even though we were very careful.
Sub-verdict: I don't think the doc was impressed by the effort I put into showering and putting on clean undies.
Treatment: two hefty anitbiotics and a combo painkiller/anti-inflammatory to ease the pain and let some air out of the industrial-sized scrotum I was packing at the time.
So that's how I spent my Saturday night. I'm now JUBbing the afterglow of some heavy medication. Since I'm still a lot tender and swollen
, JUBbers offering to massage my little ninjas to "make them better" will get a frosty reply Right, your turn.
-d-
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
