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Can a straight guy ever be to hot for you to be friends with?

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88Jockstraps

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Hey bisexual and gay guys, even if you have straight friends and even if they know you're gay, have you ever felt that some guys are just too sexy/good looking/cute for you to be friends with?

Knowing that he might make you feel too sexual aroused to actually be friends with or maybe afraid he'll find out you have the hots for him?

Any of you gay or bisexual guys ever rejected a guy's friendship just because he was just too sexy or good looking for you to take?
 
No, I don't think so. And, no, I have never turned down a guy's friendship because I thought he might be too attractive. I'm in perfect control of my impulses. Relationships can't always be sexual. It's a curiosity that so many guys have this problem with their straight friends. I find it silly.
 
bw92116 said:
Yes, this is an ongoing problem for gay men, as it also is for straight men and their female friends. The solution is to get to know the guy. As soon as you know the guy, reality comes crashing down on your fantasy. You see what a pile of shit he actually is (and all men are). That kills the attraction and you see it as, "Yuck! What was I thinking?" Knowing a man as he really is makes him undesirable.
Click to expand...
One of those "You really shouldn't talk" moments :lol:
 
Yes, yes it has. The best thing to do is learn to recognise it early and take action so you won't get hurt. If you're like me, take time, reflect, distance yourself from the person until you can get things in perspective and come back and actually be friends rather than have him be the object of your pining which will invariably end badly for both (IMHO).
 
YES! At the moment, I can think of at least four guys this has happened to me with, through the years, though there might have been more ...

The first I can remember was in college. I was a senior, he was a freshman, and new to "the house" (old "manse" turned into student housing). He had shaggy blond hair, green eyes, CUTE as all Hell, was the same size as me, and was well "toned", too! I'd go out of my way to avoid him! However, I kept running into him, and he was SO Friendly! Whenever he'd Smile, my knees would get weak, and my back teeth would "itch"! I could barely talk to him without (obviously) drooling!! :drool: #-o

However, through His persistence, we eventually became really good friends. He was from the same state, and area, and we ended up sharing rides home during breaks. Still ... it took quite a bit for Me to get past his looks! ](*,)

We've remained in touch, through his first marriage, divorce, second marriage, and four kids! ..|

I won't bore you with the stories of the other ones. Let me just say that I'm "susceptible" to what I consider "Awesome Beauty"! I still can't imagine how those rare guys would even want to talk to me! !oops!

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
In short, yes.

I won't go all the way to be mean or avoid him but I'll not engage in so much communication.
 
For me, it just depends on how homophobic I perceive this hot-straight-guy in-question to be. If I know he'll drag me into an alley and bludgeon me to death after he sees me looking at his ass, I'll probs just stay away (oh, these wandering eyes...). :rolleyes:

But, if that's not really a concern then fuck it, there are a million hot guys out there, if I can't have one because he's straight and my friend, then who cares? I'll let him creep into my next wank-fantasy or something, then forget about it. :twisted:*|*
 
crzyrazn, I agree. Some gays or bis do have this problem. I myself, don't. But I was curious so I asked. Everyone needs to control their impulses!
 
Just once in college. Then we became friends and I came to realize what a dolt he was entirely. Then I heard some things about him that I didn't like, such as the fact that he only dated a fat girl so he could make jokes about having something to hold on to while he fucked her, and a Chinese girls just to see what it was like. Immature guy stuff and borderline cruel. He did, however respect me and my sexuality entirely and was probably somewhat curious, but at a certain point I began to see him as kind of a brother and my sexual interest waned to -.5. We still talk all the time and it's been nice seeing him grow up. Love u Dan!
 
I've had this thought too after falling for a friend. But I think after some time - uncomfortable, even painful sometimes, but after time - you get beyond the sexual attraction and realize that you'll become friends.

It's the same curse our straight brothers have when trying to be good friends with girls. But if it's worth it, it's worth it. Just know going in, as much as possible, that you have to guard yourself.
 
Hasn't happened to me yet. I get into the friend zone with guys and girls very quickly and I'm able to keep my thoughts about them above the belt almost all the time.

The two that I do have the hots for are idle musings. I respect them both too much to ever make a move; additionally, I know the move would not be welcomed even slightly. So I think about them more in a "who would you do" kind of way.

-d-
 
bw92116 said:
Yes, this is an ongoing problem for gay men, as it also is for straight men and their female friends. The solution is to get to know the guy. As soon as you know the guy, reality comes crashing down on your fantasy. You see what a pile of shit he actually is (and all men are). That kills the attraction and you see it as, "Yuck! What was I thinking?" Knowing a man as he really is makes him undesirable.
Click to expand...

That's very negative and discouraging to hear. I think far too many gay guys are looking for perfection in a mate. Maybe it stems from inner feelings of inferiority that gay guys have, where they compensate by insisting on perfection.

I don't believe all men are a pile of shit and that knowing how they really are makes them undesirable.

Maybe you have way too unrealistic expectations to begin with?
 
Yes. There are millions of HOT Guys running around all over the place! However, I've only run across a Very Few whose mere looks push ALL of my buttons all at once! And, those are the ones I consider quite Dangerous! :eek: :help:

Just looking at them makes me feel Very vulnerable! I'm actually afraid of them because of my physical/emotional reactions to them! It's precisely because I do find them SO Attractive that I can't trust myself to stay within "acceptable bounds" around them! At any moment I might "slip", and reveal my True nature! #-o

I consider them a Threat! I can't trust Myself to remain "civil" with them! And, if I would lose control, it wouldn't be fair to Them, and could prove to be detrimental to Me! And, whether they're Gay, or Str8, makes no difference at all! In fact, if they're Gay, that could make matters even worse! ](*,)

"My" Kev, and I, have been together for nearly 28yr. And, he is not one of "Those Guys"! If he were, I doubt we would have gotten together at all! [-X

Does that make any sense?? :confused:

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
bw92116 said:
Yes, this is an ongoing problem for gay men, as it also is for straight men and their female friends. The solution is to get to know the guy. As soon as you know the guy, reality comes crashing down on your fantasy. You see what a pile of shit he actually is (and all men are). That kills the attraction and you see it as, "Yuck! What was I thinking?" Knowing a man as he really is makes him undesirable.
Click to expand...



Bw...You are just so wrong for that posting....LOL....You don't mean any of it and you know it...
 
...no, wouldn't be a problem for me, thougn, in my case, I become friends with guys that wouldn't be considered "hot" in the typical sense, but they are guys that I've attracted to, and fallen head-obver-heels for.
 
yup, this has definitely happened to me... I don't like it when my guy friends are hotter than me, so I try to minimize that effect. But yeah when a guy is super hot and I can't seem to make sentences around him, then yes, it becomes a bit of a problem. has anyone ever had a coworker or boss that was super hott???
 
Sometimes a gay man can be so hot I can't be friends with him. I think a lot of us, cause of self-hatred issues, think that straight = hot and gay = not. That's just not true at all. Even if you both are gay, he can still have that sort of masculine superiority complex that's both intoxicating and frustrating.

I had this issue myself, I have a straight friend and we both just declared we have feelings for each other, but the more we try to make anything work the more there's this barrier and he feels like a brother. But there's still some mutual playing going on there, you probably frustrate the straight men as well cause of your receptive energy that they like and are confused/amused by.

I agree, the harsh reality is that all men suck and just get to know the guy more and you won't be attracted to him. I also had another straight friend that I found very attractive but he was a real asshole. Not a turn on. (just in the pretend way)

What's really sad is the gay men who society tends to overlook can actually have a great touch and be good in bed, and actually care about you. And be the total package that's great for a relationship but you wouldn't realize it, cause you're too busy worrying how 'straight acting' your guy is. Like we all just need to get out of Porn Land sometimes.
 
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