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Check in here, if you've ever fallen for - and gotten over - a straight guy

A

andyspete

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Falling for and getting over straight guys is the story of my life. While I've had numerous crushes, there have only been 3 guys that I've really fallen for. The second one was my most serious. Took me a full year without seeing him to finally get over him. The last guy took me about 3 months. I still think about him often but I don't pine my life away dreaming about him. And to answer your question about what worked for me to get over them.......only one thing.......time.
 
been there...done that.....hope that I never have to go there again!
 
Happened once in my early twenties. Convinced myself that he was just one of my best friends until we stopped hanging out due to a number of circumstances. My denial fell away and I was in pain for a long time after that.
 
Its hard being friends with someone you're attracted to if you are compatible with the guy. I mean, how can you hang with someone who you think is hot as well as a great person without at least feeling some frustration?

I've been infatuated with a few of my buddies before, I'm completely over them now. One of them has developed gay tendencies lately and comes on to me playfully at times, but I feel absolutely nothing now; we make fun of each other and horse around like normal guy friends. I only fell for one guy in my life one year ago. He wasn't even that close a friend. Anyway, we drifted apart since we weren't close and he moved away shortly after. I still thought about him for a while after that, but his memory kinda faded as I met more new people and focused on other things. I don't even think about him anymore. Not sure how I would feel if he came back though.
 
Time, that is what helped me get over my high school straight love. In high school, my straight friend (I dont think he was bi) made a move on me and sucked my cock for the first time (I think he had done it before with someone else, just seemed to be experienced). We continued this sucking for a couple years, nothing more (no kisssing, anal, etc.).

Eventually he "grew up" and realized for a straight guy, what he was doing was wrong. I had a hard time with the end of the relationship, time is what healed my wounds.
 
I've fallen for one friend years ago, still attracted to him though. Now, i've fallen for another friend. He is literally my best friend and I have never had a friend like him. He is married and has a kid. We call eachother bff which is funny because, during an argumentm, I called someone else my bff just to mess with him and he really got upset and very hurt about it. We talked about it and man I tell you. We argue as if we are a gay couple and his wife even mentions it. He still hasnt called me his bff because he "is taking his time". We also text eachother alot and one time he text'd me and said "I love you". I replied that I loved him too in which he replied "Im serious" (im a very sarcastic person). I then messaged him back and said "so am I". Im bi so my gaydar doesnt work as good but I just may be giving my hopes up. Besides, he is my friend, a married man, and a father.

Honestly, I don't know what to think of our relationship besides he is a really great friend that cares alot for me. I got burned from my last fall for my straight friend and I have done the same with this one. It really hurts and everytime I try to pull myself away, something happens that sparks false hope.
 
I have a bad habit of falling for straight guys, whether they were friends of mine or complete strangers. It's frustrating, to say the least.

Twice I've fallen hard for straight close friends. I've long since "gotten over" the first; I'd still take him to bed in a heartbeat if he asked, but i'm not pining over him. I'm still in the process of "getting over" the second. Again, I'd let him have his way with me whenever he asked, but have come to terms with the fact that it won't be happening in the forseeable future.

In both cases, the first thing I had to do was confess my feeling to the person I was attracted to. Then we talked about it. And if they hadn't been understanding (or at least tried to be understanding), my tender feelings probably would have dried up pretty quickly.

That was followed by some good-natured teasing, and the eventual acceptance that "friendship" was the best I'd be getting, and that I shouldn't crap away a good frienship because I can't have everything I want. In both cases, we actually became closer friends after that point, and I found my feelings were easier to deal with.

As for listening to them say things like "I stood there and said to her, 'play with it... have fun with it'...yeah baby." ... Well, in the first case it wasn't an issue because he was very private when it came to his sex life. The second, I just told him that he was free to have that sort of conversation with me so long as he knew what kind of images it was putting in my head. He agreed, and life went on.
 
I met and fell head over hill, and over hell, for this charming guy, who eventually knew who I was, and was so lost - he was willing to continue his friendship with me. We became godbrothers, so close to one another, and he even moved in with me to be my roommate.

But I was still having a strong feeling for him.

It did not work out fine for me.

Eventually, he moved out.

I cried. A lot.

We did not talk for years, and then I found out that he was attached. The gf was nice to me, even thought she knew of my history. Now they are married.

And we are closer these days, now that I had learnt to put that feeling of mine for him aside, since that I love his family. I am even his first son's godson.

We hung out, called one another, joked and more. I still think he's hot, but it was just an admiration. No longer lust.
 
I have this friend of five years. He's not what I usually look for in men, but for some reason, I just couldn't get over the fact that I had a huge crush on him. He wasn't really all that...hmmm, how do I put this...would anti-gay work? Yeah, that would work. He's very open about his body and he's so relaxed.

Thing is, I've never told him.:cry: I know what this will do to me in the long run, but doesn't the say go 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'? He was my friend and my love and I miss him every day. So, if you want to mock me, go right ahead. Can't hurt me any worse than I already have done to myself.
 
bw92116 said:
There are a lot of straight guys who enjoy the attention they get from gay men and will even flirt back, just to keep the attention coming ....quote]

really? how can you tell if they are gay or not O.O, sorry im new :P
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I usually just forget about it, and tell myself nothing will ever happen. It works but I do still have some feelings. Sexual feelings!
 
bw92116 said:
I'm in the process of "getting over" a straight guy I met about 3 months ago. I'd say I'm about halfway through the process now. It doesn't bother me as much as it did a couple of weeks ago. Nothing ever "happened" between us although he is friendly to me in a "buddy" way. It would be easier to get over him if he weren't friendly.

But I don't want to fall into the trap again of being "just friends" with a hot guy that I attracted to. I've been down that road before. Having to listen to him say, "I stood there and said to her, 'play with it... have fun with it'...yeah baby." It's torture being attracted to a guy you can't have.

If you "got over" a straight guy in the past, what worked for you?
Click to expand...

I wrote him a song and recorded it ,then burned to a cd...needless to say we are 'estranged' right now....i still think of him, i just know i have to let go. there will be someone for me in the future.
 
We can't control who we meet and like, but we can control how far we let our actions and feelings get out of control. For example, NEVER become roommates with a straight guy you like. It will be a disaster and likely will kill the friendship.

One thing that often gets overlooked in these discussions (they come up all the time) is that it would be easier if you were not closeted. If you meet a straight guy and he knows or learns shortly thereafter that you are gay, the relationship can be managed by both. The straight guy will probably make damn sure you realize that he is not interested in guys and you as a friend will respect his boundaries.
 
Hi to all of you. I am into that shit now and feel terrible. Its common pcture. I am in love with my best str8 friend for more than two years. From the moment i met him i had a crash on him. I told him few months later when i saw him jerkking off. And then that moment i gave him a blowjob. From that moment we repeated that for 1 month about 10 times. We hang out a lot together, and we speak almost everyday by the phone but he doesnt want nothing sexual from me. I beg him to touch him, to feel him but he reject it. I think to let him go. But i reallly care for him, and he cares for me...But i am in pain. I long for him like crazy.

That's my story. Any serious advice from you would help me lot

Thanks for this great thread

Have all a nics day
 
Never emotionally attach yourself to a straight.

Straights are just for sex and touchy feely nothing serious unless you have level 5 or above conversion skills.

Straight guys are hot no doubt about that, but all an amatuer gay can hope for is a quick drunken romp in the hay.
 
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