Check in here, if you've ever fallen for - and gotten over - a straight guy

[Chipped]

Yes. And no.

 

[none_2362]

I knew this guy a few years back. He was the most beautiful guy I've ever seen, and one of the nicest people i've met to boot. We were just casual acquaintances at first, but we started to hang out more and more later, during which, my initial impression of him being a great person was pretty much proven correct.

Needless to say, I fell for him hard. He was it! He was my perfect guy. Anyway, one week after we befriended one another, he moves away, and I haven't seen him since! We spoke a few times on MSN, but there's nothing much to say when you don't go to the same school anymore.

I'm long over him now, but he remains the only guy that I've ever had any feelings for. I've tried it with both girls and other guys, but at most I only found them physically attractive, I never even came close to developing a romantic attraction for any of them.

 

[luckyass69]

All i have are straight friend? but ther cool and some of they guys i'v known a long time. One of them he so hot he looks like David Beckham and he is my best friend and we would like hang out and spend like everyday together.
we slept over and like watched movies. i would make him watch gay porn he was cool about it. i guess i was kinda falling for him... and like one time at a his house we where watching this movie i liked the guy he liked the girl he poped a boner and it turned me on and we pulled it out and started beating our meat? then he grabd my hand and made me beat his meat and then i started blowing him and we kissed and like then he came in my mouth.
But as i was doing it i thought it would be wierd you know but nah were still cool.
and best friends!

 

[Coby132]

yeah i have fallen before but ............. he was a straight man so just forget get it (after 1 years)

 

[pierce_bomer21]

Okay, I don't even remember posting here before, and I'm pretty much a lurker, but this thread really hits the spot so I feel like I have to post.

So I'm in love with my best friend. The story starts when we got really really close about a year ago. We had known each for for a year. So it's like been two and a half years now and honestly, he is the closest friend I have ever had. Anyways, a little after we each made it clear that we were each other's best friend, we would be alone a lot of times. Our housemates would be asleep or out. So it started with me laying on his thighs at night sometimes because we'd be watching tv and Id get super sleepy. Pretty harmless. Then it led to us cuddling, and eventually laying on the same bed. Like he'd lay with me so that I fall asleep, and then he'd leave. Actually, he did this for me because I watched this scary movie and I couldn't sleep afterwards.
So then one night, we were laying together, and he told me that he really likes this girl that we were both close friends with. The three of us spent so much time together. I considered all of us to be really close friends. I freaked out and told him that I was not okay with him liking her, mainly because I was afraid of what it meant for our friendship. But then he reassured me that nothing was ever going to happen, because she doenst' like him, and even if she does, he wouldnt get with her unless I was okay with it. To make things worst, he had liked her for a year!

So now after a period of time, we eventually got a little experimental. I was like having size complex issues and so I showed him by dick because I always complained about how small it was (it's 5.5 inches). Then, he showed me his and I was seriously in heaven. By this point, I was already in love with him btw. For the next three weeks, things just started happening. We slept together naked, we showered naked, we even jacked each other off. We even started giving each other blowjobs, but then he stopped it saying that it was gay and bad. Anyways, after those two weeks, he refused to "jack off" together anymore. But we still showered together and slept naked together. This lasted another like 4-5 months.

Meanwhile, we have both openly told the other that we loved each other. He still liked that girl, a lot. The three of us kept getting closer. Anyways, 5 weeks ago, i came back from a weekend away, and he came into my room and told me that he and that girl were dating, and that they had been dating for 2 weeks. My world just crumbled. I felt so deceived, and lied to. He had said that he would not date her unless I was okay with it. And now he was dating her without even first telling me! I felt so heartbroken. We talked for a long time, and I have had issues in the past where I felt like so lonely, so unwanted, so pathetic. I had even attempted suicide so many times because my whole childhood, I was made by those around me to feel like I wasn't human. He was the first person to ever make me feel like a human-being. I didn't want to lose him. So we talked, and finally he decided to break up with her.

So DRAMA!! There was so much drama, and I had to explain her to why it is I can't give him up. But for the next week, he was so sad, she was so sad, and I was so sad. We all knew things had been ruined between us. I looked around, and couldn't believe that these two people are miserable because of me. So I told him that he should date her, and that I'd be okay with it.

But guys, I'm not okay with it. I'm in so much pain. The last four weeks have been the worst weeks of my life. To see them together, to know that what we had is changed forever. He wont let me touch his penis anymore, he wont shower with me anymore. He'll cuddle and lay with me, but that's it. I know I should be happy with just his friendship, but I love him so much. Even though I'm so angry at him for deceiving me for this two weeks, and going back on his words, I still love him. This is seriously such an emotional experience that I have never felt anything like this. I'm confused, and I feel so many different things.

Anyways, I can't tell anyone any of this obviously. So this thread was like, I saw it and immediately wanted to post my story. I just don't know what to do. So thanks for reading it, and I guess it's just a pain that I'm going to have to live with .

 

[luvthissite]

pierce_bomer21, I am no expert, but I think you just need to figure out yourself, what you "are" (I know people on here don't like labels, but the reality I think is that you either gay, bi, or straight). I am guessing by your post that you are gay. I am guessing that your friend is bi, or just immature (by immature I mean young). I don't think it is normal that a man would be cuddling with another man. Question, when you shower together, does he get hard seeing you naked? If so, I would say he is either gay (and confused) or bi.

Anyhows, I would suggestion YOU CONSIDER just talking with him, telling him how you feel (it sounds like you are in love with him, but unless you think he feels the same I would not admit this to him as it will probably scare him away). Just let him know that you really like spending time with him, and you care about him a lot, but you would like to know if he would prefer to spend "more time" with the girl. If so, assure him that you really value his friendship, and you consider him to be a life long friend, but that you want to give him some space, and therefore you are going to stop seeing him for a little while (this is to help YOU, if you are in fact in love with him, and you dont ever seeing him feeling the same way, the only way I THINK to fix this is for you to stop seeing him for a couple months, try and meet some other people or get involved in an activity like volunteer work to take your mind off him, otherwise you will continue to be exposed to him in an unhealthy friendship). I think gay and straight can be friends, but I dont think it is healthy for the gay to be in love with the straight (yeah, i have a straight friend that I would love to suck off and fool around with, but I am not in love with him).

just my 2 cents, do what you think is best, but take care of yourself and be happy my friend.

 

[Dresden]

Nice to know I'm not the only one.

As others, I've been involved with many hit and misses. High School was the worst, I'd always fall for straight guys, just hoping that somewhere inside their heads might be a trigger that I would have loved to press. But I was always given disappointments.

In fact, that's all I ever had, until I met this one guy.

I had thought to myself "Why bother..?" Figuring it was just a doomed process to repeat as it's others. So I didnt, but something strange happened. He tried on me! Turns out this guy was bi, and we talked so much. He's been my boyfriend for the past 2 years. But right now we're going through a break.

And while on that break, I find myself falling for other straight guys, and getting over them. Hum.

 

[pierce_bomer21]

pierce_bomer21, I am no expert, but I think you just need to figure out yourself, what you "are" (I know people on here don't like labels, but the reality I think is that you either gay, bi, or straight). I am guessing by your post that you are gay. I am guessing that your friend is bi, or just immature (by immature I mean young). I don't think it is normal that a man would be cuddling with another man. Question, when you shower together, does he get hard seeing you naked? If so, I would say he is either gay (and confused) or bi.

Anyhows, I would suggestion YOU CONSIDER just talking with him, telling him how you feel (it sounds like you are in love with him, but unless you think he feels the same I would not admit this to him as it will probably scare him away). Just let him know that you really like spending time with him, and you care about him a lot, but you would like to know if he would prefer to spend "more time" with the girl. If so, assure him that you really value his friendship, and you consider him to be a life long friend, but that you want to give him some space, and therefore you are going to stop seeing him for a little while (this is to help YOU, if you are in fact in love with him, and you dont ever seeing him feeling the same way, the only way I THINK to fix this is for you to stop seeing him for a couple months, try and meet some other people or get involved in an activity like volunteer work to take your mind off him, otherwise you will continue to be exposed to him in an unhealthy friendship). I think gay and straight can be friends, but I dont think it is healthy for the gay to be in love with the straight (yeah, i have a straight friend that I would love to suck off and fool around with, but I am not in love with him).

just my 2 cents, do what you think is best, but take care of yourself and be happy my friend.

Hey, thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. The funny thing is, I know what I have to do, but I feel like I can't keep away from him. Like it'd be easier if he weren't hugging me every 5 minutes and telling me that he loves me every 10. Honestly, I think that he's bi. He would get erections when we laid together in bed and he would get erections in the shower. His excuse was that he just gets erections all the time. He also claims that he loves me in a brotherly way, and I can respect that, but then I'm sorry, but no brothers do what we do. Anyways, none of that matters, because clearly it's not something he wants to embark upon, and quite honestly, it's not something I'm sure I want to. I think that he might be afraid of the possibility that he's Bi, because I've been hearing a lot of, "we can't touch each other anymore because it's gay." But if it's choice, then I can respect that. It just hurts a lot on the inside.

Luckily, I won't be seeing him for a month, since we're all going home for winter break. I know I'll miss him, but hopefully, I can learn that I can be without him. I'm actually gonna live by myself for the month to just be alone a lot and figure myself out. I've NEVER fallen for a guy before. I've never even been attracted to one like this. I've never even considered being with a man, which is what makes the whole thing even more confusing. Bi or Gay? I don't know. But anyways, thanks for your help, and it's good to know that I'm not alone in this world. And thanks to the thread starter for making this thread too.

 

[badness1002]

fell in love with my straight best friend, told him about it, fought about it, stopped talking over it. Then Katrina hit and we realized how stupid this whole thing was because we were best friends, and i realized that i was losing my best friend over it and how stupid it was. love isnt good if its hurting a relationship. now, we are best friends again and i dont have any of the lingering feelings, i still love the kid, but i love him a like a brother, not a lover. That pretty much ended all those issues, too bad it took a national disaster to make me see reality.

 

[MarkSex]

Ok, I've had 3 cases of falling for straight guys.

First one was back 1½ ago. I was on an international youth-meeting. I totally fall for this hot guy from Ireland. It was only a 7 or 8 day conference, but I did manage to get a huge crush. He was my age, but acted alot maturer(which I LOVE). But I didn't want to mess it up, so I just decided to leave an anonymous note, stating that he was hot as hell. Later that year, we talked on the phone(we became quite good friends) and I admitted it was me who sent it. During the rest of the conversation, he seemed ok about it, but after that I've only spoken to him once on the phone very briefly, and only some few very impersonal e-mails.

The second case was a "senior high" teacher. I didn't hit me until the last weeks of my second-to-last year and then the whole of my graduating year. During the realy weeks of my last year, I went on a school-arranged trip with this teacher and another teacher and about 10 other students. This is where I totally slipped and developed a huge crush. I accidentally(honest) even saw him buck naked in a sauna during that weekend, and I was fighting to keep my hardon away. For the rest of that fall, I was struggling to pay attention during his classes(but I eventually got some of my best grades in his class) and I knew this was going to end badly. In the end, we had a student-teacher dinner, and some after-partying(he was a good party-animal) and just before he left the club I told him. He said he might have had an idea, but he was okay with it. But also that he was straight and living with someone already.

Third case happened after I started studying at university. I took me some weeks, but one evening, during a party(we have LOTS of those) I was sitting outside with this cool guy that I'd only spoke too once or twice. We talked about very random innocent stuff, and I grew to liking him. Some times later some of my fellow economicsstudents(24 people all on all?) and me went on a long weekendtrip abroad, and this guy was arranging it. When we arrived, I found out that he set it up so that I was to share a room with HIM. I was delighted, since I thought "This HAS to be a sign". Well nothing happened, except we became better friends, and I fell more in love with his behaviour and antics.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I tell him. He says he "doesn't swing that way". I'm not surprised, since that usually is my luck.
And then this wednesday, again at a party, I go to the mensroom, and he's there and we start talking. We keep talking for like a full hour, only pausing the important stuff when some random guys enter. I find out a lot about him, and we conclude that we're both very much alike. Fun-loving, easy-going and caring. He tells me about two girls he's had a crush on, and how he tried dating one of them about 6 months ago, but it was left on the "let's just be friends" stage. I saw in his eyes how crushed he was, and I wanted to give him a friendly hug, but decided against it. Then we got to talking about me, and he said he was flattered, but "sorry".
After the party, we stay outside the location, and talk for more then an hour, again.

In the end, the last guy has been the best experience, because I don't see it as loosing a guy, but as gaining a good friendship and alot of experience.

Thanks bw92166 for starting this thread, really hit my spot.

 

[sambapro]

Ifell for this Italian stallion when i was in the Navy. He used to hang around my shop and bullshit. I thought he was just trying to get out of work. He used to do 250 pushups a day and had the most amazing body. I was so afraid that I'd give myself away ,that any time he brushed up against me I'd run away. Well ,to mmake a long story short, I was transfered to another base I couln't locate john to say goodbye and got on the bus. as we were pulling away from the curb John came running out of the gate he stood there with tears running down his cheeks,I had never even suspected.

 

[Daddybearsdoit]

I have had two such encounters in my life. The first one was when I was working for the first time. I used to work at a grocery store and I found a great friend in the manager of the liquor department. (no I didn’t use him to get free booze as an under aged person) I have always been into older guys and I ended up crossing the line from liking him to loving him. He was married, but he had this habit of checking people out. I mean all people, not just women. He would comment to me about how shapely people were, or what features he found attractive. Anyway, I guess I sort of let myself get taken in by the fantasy that we could be together. I tried to spend more and more time with him. When I was at work I would always find excuses to slip off to the liquor department to help him out with his work; anything I could do to get closer to him.
Anyway, eventually I was so obsessed with him that I cried every night because I couldn’t bring myself to have the balls to tell him I wanted him. There were so many signals that I thought all I had to do was to tell him and everything would work out. I used to be an artist and I found out what his favorite animal was. I had planned to make him a gift of my art. One day, however, I went to help him work and he started to tell me a story about a friend of his and he. He told me that he had a good friend that he used to spend a lot of time with when they were younger. Apparently this friend of his enlisted or something and was gone from home for a while. When he came back he and this guy I liked were having a conversation when the friend came out to, and started hitting on, the guy I liked. From the sound of it I could tell that this guy was not to happy about it and it left me totally shocked and amazed. I couldn’t imagine that this guy was so anti-homosexual.
Anyway, it crushed me totally but I still had to work with the guy. It was impossible. I started volunteering to be the guy who went out to get shopping carts to bring back into the store just so that I wouldn’t have to see him. I started checking the schedules and trying to get off days that he worked. It was torture though because my managers had all figured out that I like to help him work in his department and they would send me to be his helper when the store was slow. I hated it because I couldn’t get rid of my feelings for him, and I felt guilty about them because I knew he wouldn’t ever accept me if I had told him anything. I tried so hard to keep a friendship with him that I ended up with some sever emotional trauma. I can’t tell you how many times I thought about killing myself to escape the torture that I was inflicting on myself.
Needless to say, I didn’t end up killing myself and I am now over him. What did it take? Time and space. Only when I went away to college did I manage to truly get over him.
The second time was similar. He was my high school physics teacher. The kind of guy you’d love to see naked. He had a great build, sort of like an ex-football player who had gotten just a little hint of a belly. He was great. He was one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met and he was a great human being. He was everything a teacher is supposed to be. He supported students, helped them when they needed help, and was always available to discuss an emotional problem. He had been married, but was divorced at the time and I got the hint that he was interested in playing around with other guys. I let myself fall for him completely. I tried to do everything I could to spend as much time as possible with him. I lost touch with most of my friends at the time because I would spend my lunch hour in his classroom, either having him help me study, or helping him write the class’ tests, or setting up experiments. I loved him completely.
Unlike the other guy though I was never rejected by this one. I graduated high school and moved on with my life. I made a great effort to keep in touch with him, but he never made any such effort. As I moved away to college I began to realize that it was a hopeless effort and there was no point in tormenting myself about it.

Seriously, if you can’t put space between the two of you I would recommend doing whatever you can to keep yourself emotionally detached from this guy until you get over him. It will happen, but you have to wait. IF you can put some space between you I would seriously recommend doing so. It helps a lot. But if you would like to salvage the friendship you should know that there will always be a little bit of a struggle inside you. Your feelings for him will not ever go away completely. I still haven’t forgotten mine.

 

[none_2362]

fell in love with my straight best friend, told him about it, fought about it, stopped talking over it. Then Katrina hit and we realized how stupid this whole thing was because we were best friends, and i realized that i was losing my best friend over it and how stupid it was. love isnt good if its hurting a relationship. now, we are best friends again and i dont have any of the lingering feelings, i still love the kid, but i love him a like a brother, not a lover. That pretty much ended all those issues, too bad it took a national disaster to make me see reality.

Oh wow, you're really lucky! You've got such a good thing going for you now. I think that this is the best possible way a guy falling for his straight bud could have ended!

 

[LuckyDyme]

My advice is try and find a new boy toy hehehe thats how I got over my straight bud lol. I was tired of the "friendly friend" thing so I found someone else to start talking to and see how things progress. Cuz I knew nothing would ever happen so I jus let it go, put it in my past, but we're still friends so its all good.

 

[rahzael2006]

All I would like to tell you is that every love that you have in your life has an even amount of hardship, and i know from personal experience that you may get over having you heart crushed but you will never forget it. Memories are like the waves of the sea the leave you for awhile but they always come back sooner or later.

 

[weasley]

the overly friendly straight guys are the worst, it has caused me numerous times of awkward moments lol. sort of like "umm, yeah... i'm not gonna call you again cuz you're weird."

 

[badness1002]

Oh wow, you're really lucky! You've got such a good thing going for you now. I think that this is the best possible way a guy falling for his straight bud could have ended!

yeah, i am so grateful that we were able to move past all the bad of the past and i count myself lucky that i found a friend who was willing to look past all the stigmas of having a gay best friend and such (we went to an all boys school in New Orleans during this time) and be able to accept me for me and deal with me while i sorted all of my mixed up feelings out.

 

[spasmos2003]

Hi to all of you. I am into that shit now and feel terrible. Its common pcture. I am in love with my best str8 friend for more than two years. From the moment i met him i had a crash on him. I told him few months later when i saw him jerkking off. And then that moment i gave him a blowjob. From that moment we repeated that for 1 month about 10 times. We hang out a lot together, and we speak almost everyday by the phone but he doesnt want nothing sexual from me. I beg him to touch him, to feel him but he reject it. I think to let him go. But i reallly care for him, and he cares for me...But i am in pain. I long for him like crazy.

That's my story. Any serious advice from you would help me lot

Thanks for this great thread

Have all a nics day

Hi again guys, i write about this issue again because there was some progrees in my life. I dont know if its a positive or negative. Tell me what you think. before a month he came in for a visit, as I always do i tried (without any hope) to make a hit on him. But this time it worked. I sucked of on him like a maniac. He just stood there until he came without doin nothing. Not a word, not a move, not a touch. In the last month it happened 5 times. I was full of entusiasm, and he just with an erection just stood there. Yesterday we spoke on the phone. He had a fight with me. He said that with me he had made so many dirty things (all i did was sucking him) and that he regrets it everytime he thinks about it. He said that he hates that part of me. I told him almost from the start of our friendship that i had feelings for him.I know he cares for me. Do you think he is just making me a favor leting me suck him?? Please help me with your advice. I'm totaly lost in this situation.

Best wishes to all of you guys

 

[hermanding]

of course that is tragic. but, the only thing one can say is please do not go there ever. if the guy is straight - and a gay falls for him - the gay loses, period.
ding

 

[mydrew1]

My first real crush, and the first I asked out, was straight. I went to high school with him. It took me like 3 weeks to get over the rejection from him.