Closet gay/bi dudes, are you 100% in the closet or do a few people know?

[AlmondMilk]

I don't really want to make a timeline ,ahaha!

But I'm a closeted gay guy. Anyway, I knew I was gay for quite awhile, but I always thought myself as possibly bi. I don't know... I really don't want to label myself since I'm still interested in women in certain situations, heh.

Anyway, I'm currently 20 and still maintain that "Straight" cover even though I think I do a terrible job. I don't even say I'm straight, but people will just assume. I was told that I look like one of those straight guys who act gay by wearing those brands like aeropostale, hahaha! I don't know if that's a compliment, but I kinda feel disappointed because everyone has an image that if you're gay you need to wear this and if you're straight you wear this. :/

Anyway the first friend I confided in was my friend who I knew I wouldn't be seeing for another year. Knowing that she's a strong woman, I thought she would be the best person to first confide within. Now she knows that I'm gay...for now...haha...and she was surprised. She said her "gaydar" is normally right but she never suspected me. She doesn't care since she's bi and currently engaged to a nice girl, so I'm just happy that she's very supportive.

I guess I've confided to guys I hooked up with inthe past as well. AHAHA. It's pathetic...but I hooked up with a couple of guys...we ended up being very good long distance friends. Nothing really between us but just texting and catching up with shit. Eh, I guesst these guys don't count much..huh?

I won't be telling my family any time soon. I need to support myself before that goes down. Why? Everyone says that they'd still support their child no matter what till the circumstances involve THEIR child. Kind of pessimistic, but I'm being careful . I'm apparently good at being a straight guy -.- so I'll just keep up the cover. Though I don't know how people don't figure this shit out and confront me if I haven't had a girlfriend yet. I guess they think I'm just picky. lol

 

[terps420]

I'm not going to make a timeline either; I can't really recall the exact ages I progressed into being where I am now.

I'm bisexual, and also a little (not clincally, just figurtively) bipolar about it. There are times when all I want is to find a girl, any girl, and just drill her deep into the mattress; yet there are other times when nothing could make me happier than having a guy go down on me for an hour or two. I'm 21, and I've had both these urges ever since puberty. It's been going on like this for 8 or 9 years now, give or take.

Once I was coherent enough to acknowledge all the bullshit implications that society places on us (underclassmen in high school), I realized that it would be easier to not disclose the homosexual side of myself. Hooked up with guys whenever the opportunity presented itself in my teens and had one serious relationship with a girl that lasted several years. I had several friends of mine come out after high school, but they identified as exclusively gay so I continued to stay closeted.

When I was twenty, I came out to a close friend and confidant that lived a very reclusive life away from my usual friends and social groups for that very same reason. She outted me to my closest female friend, who then in turn used it as her daily morning gossip and told about a dozen and a half of our mutual friends. When I found out, I decided to beat her to the punch and quickly told every single person in my life that I wanted to keep there, including my siblings and parents. Everyone else, I cut out of my life.

I made a promise to myself that my "coming out" would be the only time I would ever do it though. I only disclose my sexual orientation if it's asked of me, and even when I'm asked if I'm gay, I just say no; being gay means identifying and solely being attracted to men. A lot of guys say that "coming out" is a "lifelong process", but I don't really care. It's absolutely nobody's business who my dick gets hard for. As long as everyone dear to me knows, it's all copacetic to me.

 

[Tugasa]

Hey,

I am 23 years old and I realized I am gay when I was 16 (something about watching 2 guys kissing in a movie pulled the trigger I guess).

Anyway, at the time the thought of coming out to the people I knew seemed silly. I was in highschool and the last thing one needs is to be pushed away...and in all fairness I lacked the confidence to deal with gossip, being made fun of, etc.

5 years of university went really fast and now I am working and I am still without being out. This summer I spoke to a close ant and told her I was gay. She was surprised to know since I never acted in a way that would lead her to think it...She told me that sometimes she wondered why I did not have a girlfriend, but maybe I was just being picky, or having casual dates. She is very supportive and is always checking on me since she knows I did not have come out to anyone else. This is really important for me because at least I have someone to openly talk about stuff without being misunderstood or afraid of being myself.

I don't think anyone knows about it although most of my relatives ask me questions like "So, how are the girls where you live? When can we meet some?..." which always end up in awkward moments when we stare at each other and laugh (sigh).

I didn't come out yet and I think I need to move out of my parent's house and be financially independent to do so. I just would not feel comfortable living with my parents if they would not accept it so well. Should I think this way? I guess I will only know when I am finally tired of covering this.

 

[genthree]

general rules 1. your mother will know 2. when it comes out all your friends will say they suspected so and 3. the longer you leave it the more likely either some "dear friend" or circumstances will out you.
in my case 3 and i just let the penny drop. good luck and remember it is your life !

 

[Rex]

I'm bi. Out to some friends, not out to some others.

I am happy as of right now even though I'm not completely out. I am just glad I don't have to be closeted to everyone because it feels nice to be able to be out to some people but I still have a fear of telling some very close people in my life but maybe I will one day.

 

[Storybook_Man]

The only people who know I am bi, are guys I have sex with, as for the women I have sex with, I dont tell them.

 

[maysix77]

101% ...i dont suspect people around me notice but my heart feels heavy all the time... i wanna be true to myself but easier said than done...

 

[paatreides]

I'm bi and out to very, very few people. I have to truly feel comfortable and safe before I can out myself.

I didn't realize my attraction to men until I got into the service. It was my first barracks mate. He was very open jacking off in front of me (every night!). When I got comfortable enough to join in, he invited me to go to a group meeting. I screwed up my courage and went.

But trust is the issue. You need to trust the people you tell; trust they aren't going to blab it to everyone you both know; trust they aren't going to treat you any differently.

I suggest you join an on-line support group. There are some good ones, whose members can help you deal with your bi-sexuality whether you decide to "out" yourself or stay in the closet.

 

[SwitchHit50]

I started out liking girls only, by age 18 I started to get hit on by one guy who was just creepy,and although curious,didn't do anything with him just because he WAS creepy.

Age 21 was a realization when a co-worker was hitting on me to come over for a BJ when his wife wasn't home, (I had been with women but never had a successful BJ believe that or not.)
One day curiosity finally won out when he was batching it for the weekend.
When we got to his place I got naked first in front of him coupled with a major hard on before my pants hit the floor.
He jokingly said "You have to be gay being that hard that fast"
That remark half softened me and I could barely cum sadly it put me in denial for years.
I know now that was probably a compliment of sorts, but I took it quite the wrong way.

Anyway, that's a bit off topic. Only two women knew about my attraction and both times were in the past year, both asked if I was "active" and I said (honestly) I was/am not.
Despite having a great sex life with a woman now, I am needing MM relief like you wouldn't believe.

 

[SwitchHit50]

I should have added: for whatever reason, I thought he was "laughing" at my arousal.
How naive! I probably had HIS motor going even more.
Hence communicating with a lover whatever gender, works out best.

 

[dancingboy2003]

When I was between 14 and 18 I thought I was gay until a female friend seduced me - not knowing about my gay side - and I was shocked to discover how much I liked straight sex. I'm 40 now, married but still with strong male urges. I have a married friend who acts as a FB for me - and vice versa - when needed thought mostly I just like to wank to gay or bi porn. In terms of who knows, well the FB obviously and then about another 3 people, all of whom I work with, all of whom have been fantastic friends, one of whom is Bi as well but single. It's different for everyone and the hardest thing to judge is whether people are worthy of your trust and crucially, will they betray that trust? Good luck.

 

[closet case]

My plan was to always stay 100% in the closet as a bi married guy. I don't care what others think about that. You don't really know the whole story until you've walked in someone's shoes.

Anyway, my plan failed about 2 years ago when I chatted with a guy online (with the intention of hooking up) that I knew. He's a 100% in the closet bi guy too, not married. I didn't know it was him until he sent me his pic. I continued to chat with him, and after a couple months, revealed to him that I was the guy he had chatted with. Yes, we hooked up but haven't since then because he's afraid that somehow we'd be found out. So, now I'm 95% in the closet. And my new plan is to stay 95% in the closet.

 

[joey69nwi]

@ 16 had a talk with a gay kid at my school. He must have trusted me, and he tried to talk me into more, but I was in love with girls.

@ 21, had my first m2m, am convinced I am top, but I have a girlfriend. I split time tween her and cock.

21 to 25, I have sex well over 20 girls and 50 guys.

@ 25 get married, later that year meet a top that turns me bottom.

@ 35, still married, have had sex with 10 other women in that time and lost count on guys. I am a bi bottom.

Only 4 women know that I am bi or have tried bi. I have fucked all of them or they fucked me with a strap on.

 

[bulge]

99% of gays and bis are not out at all. The gay community is an iceberg. Less than 1% is visible.

 

[R.B.S.]

In college I'd been looking at sexy guys sometimes during the lections. Some of them suspected me, but nobody asked.

BTW, in my college there was an open gay. But I wasn't interested in him - he was some hippie-type (long hair, etc). I had been lusting after straight jocks.

Once, I had sex with a greek-romanian wrestler (he was top) from Daghestan, the Caucasus - he was so sexy. Certainly, he was "straight".

 

[closet case]

Closet Case, similiar thing happened to me too, but I left it much more unresolved. I was chatting with a guy and had so far only seen his body pic. I had to run out the door so I asked for his number so we could keep talking. After I entered the number, my phone said "Calling Matt" (not his real name), who was a brief workplace acquantaince of mine from a few years back. Before I realized what had just happened, "Matt" answered and I hung up, not knowing what else to do. I thought about it and figured there was a decent chance my contact info was no longer in his cell phone, and he might not have known that it was me calling. So I never called him back, which actually bums me out cause he was such a nice and good-looking guy.

I would actually like to have a regular thing with the guy. I prefer someone I know to trying to meet a "buddy" from Craigslist and such. But he won't do it.

 

[bihottie74]

I'm out to only the guys I've sucked off!

 

[blknsexymale]

Im bi and 100% in the closet

 

[ChicagoNormalGuy]

Some people know I'm bi. Including my gay boyfriend last year.

 

[jaycee style]

good thread