Clubs! - how to reject someone

[refujiunderground]

Saying "I'm gay and obese" works too, but you probably have to actually be obese for it to work...

Lex

lol. good one.

 

[Taz]

I've never been to a gay club, but I'll be going to one next month. I think I'd just be blunt if I wasn't interested. Or if I felt like it might hurt their feelings I'd just say I'm happy being alone thanks.

 

[HunterM]

I believe in sexual karma. So shag that 60 year-old, for when you're 60 you'll want some 20-something to sit on your cock, too.

I'm sexual karma convert. Now I'm a believer!!!

 

[HunterM]

^ OMG! I'll definitely be using that one. THANKS!

 

[SuperNatural]

Nice doesn't always work.
Sometimes you have to bruise asses and egos

 

[ThatRandomGuy]

I think being blunt works fine. Tell them you're not interested. If you're not attracted to them its a kinder thing to let them know now so they're not strung along. And there's always the just being/looking for friends option.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Tell them to go away or you'll clobber them silly!

Man, this thread really makes me feel good. Us older guys aren't worth anything, not even two cents. We are a wealth of knowledge, and skills, but that's it. You might want to look one of us up if you have car trouble, lights out, no heat or ac, plumbing broken, etc. However, we aren't worth a damn for anything else but work. I know exactly how this feels. I knew I had nothing left but work, then the funeral...

I only date older men 35+ for reasons such as taste in music, insight, wisdom, and better sexual performance. I was in a 2 year relationship with a man I met him when he was 38 we broke up when he turned 40. Brilliant socialist humanitarian green loving man like myself. He def wasn't a chub or drive-thru junkie like what the thread was referring to.

Im sorry but if you wanna attract guys at a club take care of your body. Nobody said look like a model i prefer average looking men anyway. If you eat more calories then all the kids consume combined daily in Ethiopia, you have nobody to blame. Stay outta the driv-thru and make healthier choices. Its no different then not doing drugs, brushing your teeth everyday, and showering.

 

[rareboy]

Are they making conversation? Converse.

Have they bought you a drink? Accept it graciously (providing the bar is reputable and the bartender has delivered it to you so there is no risk of contamination by someone seeking to take advantage of you).

The most important thing you can teach someone is that accepting a drink and a brief hello how do you do, is not a contract for sex.

The easiest way to deal with this in a classy way is to take the high road and not assume the person is trying to manipulate you into a hook-up. If they decide that common courtesy has obliged you to deepen your relationship, then it is they who are acting in poor taste, and then you can tell them where to go quite unambiguously. Unless they make it ugly, you can simply have a conversation and say "well I have to be going now" and carry on.

Finally.

Someone with the right answer.

 

[Anders123]

The responses in this thread show the reason why I would never even approach somebody very young. Young gay guys can be cruel to the point of sadism.

If there was going to be any possibility of a hook-up, they would have to approach me.

Believe it or not, it has actually happened to me. When it does, it always utterly bewilders me. ("I'm old enough to be their father", I think.)

Well, speaking for myself, when I approach another guy, I don't think 'based upon his appearance, he looks to be x years old. This means he is roughly the same age as my father, or my eldest sibling'. But rather, my thought process is something more along the lines of 'hey, this guy is attractive to me, I'd like to get to know him better'.

It saddens me to think that a guy like you wouldn't feel comfortable approaching somebody like me simply because of my age. To me, such a characteristic is largely inconsequential, and it is the personality and attitude of the individual that matters. I honestly couldn't possibly be more opposed to ageism or the lame excuses people often make to justify it, but you would never know that if you didn't take the time to talk to me.

In its own way, whether you feel it to be a defense mechanism or not, your attitude towards younger men is ageism itself (many people actually don't seem to recognise that ageism is not exclusively inimical to the older male). Whereas you are coming from a place of 'I don't wish to be rejected harshly' and not 'younger men are immature / capricious / irresponsible', you are still judging a person and expecting them to behave in a certain way because of their age alone.

Oh, and believe me, older men can be just as ruthless in letting you know they're not interested. Still, that wouldn't stop me from asking if I could buy you a drink.

 

[subsonic]

I've never been to a gay club, but I'll be going to one next month.

Good luck Taz!
I'll bet they'll be at your lifeguard body like flies to shit.
Be prepared:

Personally I'm a firm believer of the saying "treat others the way you want to be treated".
If you're unbothered by rude answers and bitchy attitudes when approaching guys, then fine.. But in general I think the least you can do is talk a bit to the guy, be friendly and polite and then excuse yourself. It takes courage to approach guys, so that's the least you can do imo.
But sure, if you've done this and he still hangs around, the be firm but still polite. Honesty is the best policy, but if you can't manage that, then at least make it clear how you feel in another way, so there's no possibility for hi to misunderstand you.

 

[rareboy]

If someone still follows you around...

The answer was in the thread title.

How else do you think they got the name?

 

[ashonfire]

Unfortunately there's not much you can do. You'll have to gay marry all of the disgustingcreepyfatsweatyleeringsaggydeathapproachingcataracteducatedsmellywisewrinkled old men that approach you!

Godspeed!

 

[gaystorm]

Be nice. Talk for a bit, then explain you are there for a different reason. If they really creep you out, grab the nearest guy and pretend you are with him. We all know the creepers, we can play along. Unless you are one of them.

 

[geloge]

what's the worst thing you can get from some conversation? If someone has invited me I've invited them back. If you see another guy that interest you let him know. Just be clear. Life can be easy.

 

[Darted]

what's the worst thing you can get from some conversation? If someone has invited me I've invited them back. If you see another guy that interest you let him know. Just be clear. Life can be easy.

Because by the looks of him he didn't want to have a chat and a beer, he wanted to see what the back of my head looked like on his mattress.