Coming out to extended family

[Lube]

Besides, that's what drinking on the holidays is for. Eggnog, mmmmmmm

I'll drink to that!

I've been wondering this for a while. My extended family is pretty close with my immediate. I feel like they will find out when the time is right. If I only saw them on special occassions it would be a little different, but my family is large and pretty close.

I think that's very healthy. Congrats.

A persons sexual orientation to a certain sex is part of their existance. It's like that for all humans. All 6+ billion of them.

It's your existance. Remember that. The hardest part is getting others to understand that.

So true. Ignore the advice of those who say being gay "is just a tiny facet of my life": it's not.

I'm sorry but if you live on your own and are able to support yourself...you are a loser for not coming out.
I am moving out in a few weeks...and my homophobic parents will know. This is America.
Today my dad said he wishes he could take off the head of every fagg....and he's said many other sick things before like how when he was young whenever they found a gay animal they cut it's throat.
You think I am going to keep my homosexuality secret from this stupid asshole? I can't wait for him to find out his own son is a big super gay faggot.

It's not like it's Saudi Arabia and you will get killed publicly for being gay.
Yes there is a point in coming out. There is so many gays hiding what they are because they don't "see the point". That's bullshit. When your family knows they have somebody who is gay in their family it changes things. There is so many homophobes who never think their children could be gay...and they never find out what their children really are...it's so disgusting.

There is so many countries in the world where gays are despised....all you people do is slow down progress and evolution in these shitty countries by not being brave enough to come out to everyone.
I think all of you who are keeping it secret are worse than homophobes...when I see people like you all I see is those gay guys in the middle east being hanged and all other hell gays go through every day.

Wow, are you kidding?

First of all, we're talking about our extended families that we don't know that well, here, not our parents.

Second of all, worse than homophobes? Pass what you're smoking. :c)

Take into consideration the hellish father he's had to live under. What was your life like growing up?

I think he makes some very compelling arguments, when you look at the core of what he's saying. Did the blacks who refused to stand up for themselves help or hinder the equality movement? Wouldn't you say it slowed the progress, as white supremacists took it as a sign that only "troublemakers" wanted equal rights?

Revolutions only succeed when a large enough populace makes demands.

Just being out is making the demand that you must accept me for who I am.

Being out--whether to family or strangers--is a very, very big deal in the march of getting equal rights.

 

[jayguy]

I haven't come out, but I am not worried about my extended family. I will only come out to my parents and siblings and the rest of my family can find out from asking me, social networks, etc.

But this is my life and personal experience. Do what feels right for you and your family.

 

[DJ1990]

Wow, are you kidding?

First of all, we're talking about our extended families that we don't know that well, here, not our parents.

Second of all, worse than homophobes? Pass what you're smoking. :c)

Eh, nvm, it's you. I should know better...

Just shut up and let me bang you.

No we were also talking about people who keep it secret from their parents and make sure their extended family does not know either because they don't "see the point" since it would upset their hateful families. Did you even read the posts?

Yes it is worse than homophobes. You wrote how your family is bigoted and hates gays and you just take it and keep it to yourself and wonder what would happen if you told them.

They need to know that there is a gay person in their family. There might be even more but they are keeping it secret too. There is nothing better then when disgusting homophobes find out one of their own is gay.

Come on even a 5 year old can figure it out.....look at me I'm a homophobe gays are sick and disgusting and perverted....oh wait now my cousin that I've known all my life tells me he's gay...well gee I really care aboout him and love him and I know he's not sick and evil....maybe gays are not so bad....and then their homophobia dies more and more.....some get it right away...the slower ones usually take a couple of years.

 

[NewGuy03]

I didn't. I dont think it's really their business. My mom dad and brothers know but that's it.

 

[DJ1990]

No, no, you misunderstood. My extended family, by and large, do not know.

My father knows, and he's perfectly cool with it - nothing awkward at all. His mother (my grandmother) also knows, as does one of my 9 cousins on that side of the family - likewise, there is no tension with either of them.

I'm worried about the situation being awkward when his family finds out because his siblings/in-laws would blast him for it. My cousin has already assured me that his douchebag bigot of a father is going to flip out if/when he finds out, and will grill my dad about "why he let me choose to be/turn out gay."

Between that and my grandmother, I kind of worry about the whole issue causing a huge rift in my dad's family.

My aunts/uncles totally deserve any fallout, but I have a hard time spurring that on my dad and grandmother when I don't really see those people but 2-3 times a year, anyway.

You need some gay friends in your life hunny. I would know how to treat your cousin's father like a subhuman and put him down when he makes stupid comments. That's exactly what he needs....you need to know how to embarrass him and make him look stupid.....then he would shut the fuck up.

 

[DJ1990]

*sigh* This is what happens when you go to a bath house instead of attending your ESL classes.

ok....retarded......

 

[DJ1990]

If you can't stay on topic either, then I'll just have to ignore you like I've chosen to ignore him.

The easiest thing is to ignore the truth when you don't like it.

 

[todwod]

I told my parents and all my friends...but not the rest of the family. I'm sure they are suspecting it since I'm 25 and don't have a GF or kids yet. Honestly, I feel like standing up and making an announcement at thanksgiving dinner just to weird them out. Is that being selfish?

 

[DJ1990]

I told my parents and all my friends...but not the rest of the family. I'm sure they are suspecting it since I'm 25 and don't have a GF or kids yet. Honestly, I feel like standing up and making an announcement at thanksgiving dinner just to weird them out. Is that being selfish?

Ok it's not like you need to announce it just say you're gay whenever somebody asks you if you have a gf....

 

[Lube]

The easiest thing is to ignore the truth when you don't like it.

Very well said.

It's too bad RazrzEdge is so cute. He needs to chill out a little and listen to advice.

I told my parents and all my friends...but not the rest of the family. I'm sure they are suspecting it since I'm 25 and don't have a GF or kids yet. Honestly, I feel like standing up and making an announcement at thanksgiving dinner just to weird them out. Is that being selfish?

Well, yes, it is, LOL. If you had the right personality and the right family, you might be able to pull it off. But I wouldn't recommend it in general.

Many times, people just need a little education and some time to let it sink in. So being super-confrontational like that can backfire.

Like DJ said, just tell people matter-of-factly and continue with the conversation as if there's nothing weird about it--'cause there isn't!