Thanks for the support Aaron
and Vermilion? Thanks for the advice, but I'm not going to take it. I appreciate it nonetheless.
I can't do it by phone, or anything, I'd just hang up feeling like there was more to be said. If there's more to be said here, I can say it in another email. Also, I'm an obsessive. I need to get it right first time, so I just keep rereading it and making it better.
And, of course, I don't know his number
We hadn't seen each other in a couple of months, since I left college and went onto the local uni and he just stayed in his job... We only met when we went to college, mind, but yeah... Since then, we both changed our mobile phones and forgot to send the new number, and we never got around to it on thursday, which is the first time I'd seen him since college.
I think I'm just gonna send it, and go play on my Xbox to distract myself.
This is the email I'm going to send (some facts are explained at the bottom, below it):
Hi... this is a really awkward email for me, so bear with it.
To put it bluntly, I'm gay.
This is probably just of mild interest to you, but trust me, I'm making myself feel ill over this. It's really nerve-wracking for us to come out to anyone, unless we're just really flamboyant. Those people cope well enough, I guess. Like *Phil at *college. Being camp seems to make it easier to cope with being gay, which, I suspect, is why it's so damn hard for me to do; or at least to admit to other people.
It's also probably fairly irrelevant to you, since it's not like I'm gonna start asking you out. For starters, it's kinda obvious you're rather straight. Secondly, you're with **Kirsty, and thirdly and most significantly, I just don't see you that way.
In case you haven't guessed by now, or just forgot, this is why I mentioned homosexuality on thursday - I was trying to find out how you were with gay people. I'm glad you don't mind them... and frankly, there's no good reason why you should - I'm not gonna turn all camp and wear pink while I'm in your company, I'm just not gonna stare at a girl's breasts to convince you I'm straight. And pink is possibly the most vomit inducing colour in the world, of course.
I've been wanting to come out to a friend for ages, but each one of them doesn't seem to react until you, so thanks. Just please, don't treat me any different for it.
Also, I'd kinda appreciate it if you didn't spread it around. If you did, I wouldn't hold it against you, it'd just make my life much more difficult. I plan to come out very gradually. You can tell Kirsty, if you want. She's probably, out of all the girls at college, the nicest, and I trust her As sappy and romantic as this sounds, you deserve each other. You're both nice people.
*sigh* I was gonna do with when I moved to ***Lancaster for uni, and then that never happened. My plans rarely come to fruition.
* Phil was a very camp guy at our college.
** Kirsty is my friend's girlfriend.
*** My original plan instead of going to my local university was going to one a fair distance away, but I decided I didn't like the degree path, and went to the local one to do computing stuff.
because I know you really need one now! I admire your courage and know that you've given me some too. 
