Concern over possible HIV infection! Any opinions on how to proceed?

[Benvolio]

The OP made it clear that he knew he was at fault, and we all agree. But the top was also at fault criminally. We need more prosecutions to convince such people that they cannot continue to spread the disease with impunity.

 

[KaraBulut]

The OP made it clear that he knew he was at fault, and we all agree. But the top was also at fault criminally. We need more prosecutions to convince such people that they cannot continue to spread the disease with impunity.

This was a discussed back in the 1980s when several state legislatures attempted to create laws to quarantine or imprison people with HIV. We successfully fought most of those laws with the point that any involuntary transmission of HIV is usually linked to a crime- assault, battery, rape, etc.

Now, nearly 30 years later, we know that condoms are very effective at preventing HIV transmission. It's very doubtful that any district attorney would pursue a case of HIV transmission (or any other STD) that occurred through consensual sex... especially in cases where both parties chose not to use a condom.

But this is all off-topic from OP's original request.

 

[DmitriyEM]

the good thing is that you started anti-retrovirals early within the 72 hour window period. Assuming that you stick with the specialist, you most likely will be doing 4 weeks of medication followed by a two week wait period(so that when you're tested at the 6 week mark you don't get what's called a 'false negative'). A negative test at 6 weeks is already going to be good news because most people who are infected will already show a positive test then. Then you will have to do a test a the three month mark which should be conclusive.

P.S. I've had two hiv scares in the last 6 years of being sexually active all the result of condoms breaking(thankfully I realized that early on in the sex) but regardless. I've learned a lesson: don't have penetrative sex with people you barely know, even if you think it's "safe".

Most likely you will be okay because you started the therapy early on. Good luck.

 

[SoCalAlex]

Hey guys,

Thank you all for replying to my post, I greatly appreciate everyone's opinions and input! I'm sorry I haven't replied in a while, things as you can imagine have been kind of rough at home so I've been laying low with my grandparent's over in San Diego. My folks were never too keen on the whole gay issue to begin with and telling them about my HIV scare pretty much just confirmed all the stereotypes they hold about what being gay is about.

I'm currently still on my post exposure medication and will be taking a pill a day for another couple of weeks still. It's a bit disheartening to pop a pill of Truvada every morning as I never thought I'd be taking HIV antiretrovirals in my life... but having unprotected sex with that man was my decision so I have to face the consequences. It was my fault tho, I understand it was... I just don't know why I chose to engage in risky behavior with him... I suppose I assumed that this latest encounter would lead to a relationship or at least some kind of deeper friendship, so I trusted him. I have no one to blame but myself tho, up in LA they told me how a TON of guys never disclose their HIV status or are simply unaware of it... a good rule of thumb they said, was to just assume all sexual partners have HIV or some sort of STD until proven otherwise. But things have been going relatively well tho, the people at the Gay and Lesbian Center up in Los Angeles were encouraging that given the sexual activities of the date, the risk was fairly low. Tho it's still a serious issue and I have to continue taking my treatment just to be on the safe side. And I definitely intend on doing so! Also, to follow up on earlier comments by other forum members, the center in LA tested me for a bunch of other diseases, including hepatitis. Fortunately, I already got vaccinated for hepatitis earlier this year, as I was working with an NGO in East Africa and the gig involved many many shots.

This has been my first HIV scare and so far I'm still very nervous when I think of what could be going down in my bloodstream right now but I'm trying not to panic too much... But this definitely needs to be a lesson and I have to stop engaging in risky behavior... I had a long chat with the nurse in LA who was very very nice and informative and she stressed that feeling lonely or sad or whatever are not excuses for permitting unprotected sex. As for the whole police thing, I'm not sure I ought to bring it up to the authorities anymore... it was a consensual encounter, there was no coercion whatsoever and I'd feel like a jerk for bringing up charges on something that I consented to.

Anyway, I think I'm just rambling now. I should be hearing back from LA with all my other tests results soon and If anyone wants to keep following this misadventure, I'll be sure to post about what subsequent HIV tests say. Hopefully, either I wasn't infected during the encounter or the post exposure prophylaxis treatment worked... tho I'll never actually know which was which, but as long as all subsequent HIV tests come back negative, that's all that matters

Thanks everyone!

 

[nafhoosier]

Thanks for the update.

Although I trust you'll never make this mistake again, just remember that with the fact that you are on PEP, that the top knew he was POZ and is likely on medication that greatly reduces his contagiousness, and that it was a single encounter, statistics are very strongly on your side and you are very likely negative.

Sadly your mistake is one that happens quite often in our community, and everything usually turns out ok (if it didn't, many, many more people would have HIV). It's a very difficult virus to spread and usually it is a combination of multiple factors adding up that ultimately lead to a persons infection. This is not to make you less worried to do it in the future (never do this again), but it is to make the waiting game you are playing much more comfortable and relaxing. Stress from these kinds of things can cause serious short term emotional and physical health problems, and when you realize at the end of the tunnel everything turned out OK, it won't even seem worth it.

So it's good you're doing your best to relax, and it's wise to not pursue criminal charges and that you realized it was you who put you in this situation and you who has the power to prevent it from happening again.

 

[KaraBulut]

I recently went through the rough breakup of my very long term college relationship and I haven't taken it too well, even though I was the one to end things... I've engaged in risky, stupid behavior since then but tonight I did something remarkably foolish and I'm feeling like an idiot.

I just don't know why I chose to engage in risky behavior

... feeling lonely or sad or whatever are not excuses for permitting unprotected sex.

In cases like this where there's an urgent problem like a high risk exposure, we focus on getting treatment started and dealing with the immediate problem. But the nurse was smart to bring up the underlying issue - that there were some circumstances that brought you to this point.

When you're through this crisis and you've completed the PEP, you do need to give some thought to the quotes above. It may be depression that prompted all of this or it may some other issues that have built up over time that you need to deal with. The Gay & Lesbian Center may be able to recommend a gay-friendly therapist that you can talk with.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

What really needs to be stopped are gay men participating in reckless bare backing behavior with those that they are not in a committed relationship with.

I understand your point in the post. On the other hand using your logic there would be no or only rare accidental unwanted pregnancies and Mothers with several kids by different Fathers running around. Sadly this isn't the case and humans are humans.