Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

[Sex Kitten]

Can't stand a Benderboy!

 

[Sex Kitten]

But i love you sweetie

Liar!

 

[refujiunderground]

i'm tempted to go to the "other side" and when i say "other side", i'm not talking about where the street people are at. sometimes, i fantasize about being a thug, stickup guy, robbing folks, shooting it out and etc basically the bs that gangster rappers talk about. it seems kind of fun to basically run around shooting guns at enemies, trying to unleash the anger and hostility that i have built up inside on somebody else. i sometimes fantasize about starting my own street gang or drug organization where i'm basically running shit. i'm sitting on a bunch of money, have people looking up to me, ready to hurt anybody that i have a problem with and basically being in power. in fact, as a teenager, that's why i tried to get myself involved in the whole "thuggish" thing in the first place. i was feeling powerless and weak and i saw strength in that. i figured that people would fear and respect me if i carried myself like a thug. i felt like i would be loved to the point where people knew me and etc. even now, i still desire that respect and sense of power where i want people to show me love and whenever i feel that someone is disrespecting me, i feel the need to do something to them to let them know "who's in charge". but then i smartened up and realized that i value my freedom and my life much more than catching a bullet or dying. sometimes i want to buy a gun because then i'll feel a sense of power where i would probably use it for all the wrong reasons, possibly robbing people or even worse like say if somebody pisses me off and they're a stranger, i might pull the gun out on them to let them know what could happen to them if they piss me off. this is a confessions thread. if my reputation isn't dead by now, then ya must really like me.




i know this is a tv show but sometimes, i think and can picture myself in this situation. shooting at a bunch of rivals along with some of my people where we're basically going to war.

smh @ my warped mind.

 

[G-Lexington]

Guilty of that. But, you know, sometimes the one dimension is all they give you.

True, but that's a starting point. It almost never is the full picture. I was asked to work an anime convention one weekend, and I was reluctant to do so, simply because my anime knowledge was spotty at best, and I was going o have to do a lot of idle chit-chat. Ends up I didn't talk about anime once all weekend. Despite this being a convention specifically where people came from far-off places to hang out with other anime fiends, they all chatted about other things with me. I'm sure there were otaku floating around who could only talk to me in Sailor-moon-speak, but I didn't see one, and they were far outweighed by more rounded folk.

Lex

 

[xbuzzerx]

Buzzer, it just sounds so selfish of the guy.

It sounds like the guy Lex referred to thinks of nobody's feelings except his own, and sees the world only as it pertains to him. What about the other guy's feelings? What about the other guy's needs?

"I'm an asshole for the first two weeks to anybody before they're allowed to be my friend".

Gawd. That's one of the most selfish things I've ever heard anybody say.

I wasn't defending it. I was just saying I have known a person or two like that who wound up being worth knowing. Sheesh.

I personally assume most of what people do to self-interest of some kind, Johann. Including being nice in most ordinary situations.

True, but that's a starting point. It almost never is the full picture. I was asked to work an anime convention one weekend, and I was reluctant to do so, simply because my anime knowledge was spotty at best, and I was going o have to do a lot of idle chit-chat. Ends up I didn't talk about anime once all weekend. Despite this being a convention specifically where people came from far-off places to hang out with other anime fiends, they all chatted about other things with me. I'm sure there were otaku floating around who could only talk to me in Sailor-moon-speak, but I didn't see one, and they were far outweighed by more rounded folk.

Lex

You know the term 'otaku' and 'Sailor Moon' so you know just about all you need to imo.

 

[refujiunderground]

one of my fingernails looks so fucked up right now that I'm keeping it covered with a bandaid just so I don't have to look at it (I did what you're supposed to do for a lifted nail, it just looks gross)

you cut it by accident or something?

 

[xbuzzerx]

My scorn wasn't aimed at you, Buzzer; it was aimed at Lex's friend. What a narcissistic person he must be!

I must confess to a feeling of surprise that Lex would want to pursue a friendship with such a man.

That's fine no worries. I just thought it sounded like you thought I was defending premeditated rudeness.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I agree, RJ.

I believe JUB has much improved over the state it was a few years ago. They've purged a lot of the troublemakers/trolls/sockpuppets.

That's been my perception since I've been here as well... people talk about how bad it is/how much worse it is than it used to be, but whenever people talk about the 'big trolls/drama', it's always in the past. Not too sorry I missed it.

 

[xbuzzerx]

You just perfectly explained why this board has gone downhill! It's the senseless rules here.

I much prefer boards where you can pretty much say anything to anyone.

Sorry, I don't know what kind of fucked-up boards you post at, but I've been to a couple others and they're managed so much better than this one.

I know you like to be turboblunt from what I've seen in your posts so I know you'd like the "free speech" type of board, I tend to think if there's going to be rules at all and if you're going to ever enforce them at all, then do it consistently enough and not just "when someone gets to the point of really going beyond the line."

 

[refujiunderground]

i think all of you guys are cool but today must be an off day because i'm slowly losing interest in this place and am finding it quite boring. the thought about possibly deleting my account, starting all over again or just disappearing altogether but i'm against the whole idea of deleting a profile. just will stop posting here less often, putting my energies towards elsewhere. it's nothing personal against anybody in here. it's basically me.

and i'm also becoming less interested in dating as well and might just say fuck all that shit altogether where i'll remain single. maybe it's because of the rejection or the simple fact that even if i am able to start date, i won't be able to enjoy it that i'm not fully out and comfortable with myself as a person, have my own place and have any money to do anything. this sucks. i would be happy as hell to date another guy if everything in my life was right but everything is getting fucked up. i feel like saying fuck this whole gay thing. it's becoming a complete annoyance. i did this shit to make my life easier and it seems like the exact opposite is happening and i'm wasting my time.

 

[xbuzzerx]

i think all of you guys are cool but today must be an off day because i'm slowly losing interest in this place and am finding it quite boring. the thought about possibly deleting my account, starting all over again or just disappearing altogether but i'm against the whole idea of deleting a profile. just will stop posting here less often, putting my energies towards elsewhere. it's nothing personal against anybody in here. it's basically me.

and i'm also becoming less interested in dating as well and might just say fuck all that shit altogether where i'll remain single and might try to date a woman instead. maybe it's because of the rejection or the simple fact that even if i am able to start date, i won't be able to do much being that i'm not fully out, have my own place and have any money to do anything. this sucks. i would be happy as hell to date another guy if everything in my life was right but everything is getting fucked up. i feel like saying fuck this whole gay thing. it's becoming a complete annoyance. i did this shit to make my life easier and it seems like the exact opposite is happening and i'm wasting my time.

This is meant productively and not as a criticism refuji... but if you feel that you 'can't enjoy being gay' because you don't have any money and don't have your own place, neither is a heterosexual love life going to be a stellar success.

The problem isn't being gay.

 

[martin6]

I am giddy that two of my least favorite posters are banned right now. Only about six more to go before I reach nirvana.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I am giddy that two of my least favorite posters are banned right now. Only about six more to go before I reach nirvana.

Who's the other one besides the one who just exploded in the other thread ?lol.

 

[refujiunderground]

This is meant productively and not as a criticism refuji... but if you feel that you 'can't enjoy being gay' because you don't have any money and don't have your own place, neither is a heterosexual love life going to be a stellar success.

The problem isn't being gay.

you're right. it's that this is getting to become increasingly annoying, man. even saying it on here or on my other blog isn't doing it anymore. i want to be a normal person with a normal life acting like normal. even if there's nothing wrong with me upstairs, i want to be able to see myself as a normal person and want to be treated by other people like i'm a normal person.

the whole thing is just hard to explain. literally backspaced what i was going to say 20 something times because it's something that is weird.

even sounding like this, let me stop.

 

[xbuzzerx]

you're right. it's that this is getting to become increasingly annoying, man. even saying it on here or on my other blog isn't doing it anymore. i want to be a normal person with a normal life acting like normal. even if there's nothing wrong with me upstairs, i want to be able to see myself as a normal person and want to be treated by other people like i'm a normal person.

the whole thing is just hard to explain. literally backspaced what i was going to say 20 something times because it's something that is weird.

even sounding like this, let me stop.

You can be a normal person living a normal life acting normal.

It's only a bunch of hogwash programming that tells you doing everything exactly as you would have otherwise except kissing a guy makes you not normal.

I don't watch Glee, I don't march in parades and I give more money to the Shark Conservation Network than to gay rights issues. I like extremely competitive sports and esports, I barely have any music by female artists and I don't own anything pink.

The idea that there's some monolithic imagery to being gay that you have to choose between that and being 'normal' is a false choice.

 

[ChickenGuy]

i think all of you guys are cool but today must be an off day because i'm slowly losing interest in this place and am finding it quite boring. the thought about possibly deleting my account, starting all over again or just disappearing altogether but i'm against the whole idea of deleting a profile. just will stop posting here less often, putting my energies towards elsewhere. it's nothing personal against anybody in here. it's basically me.

and i'm also becoming less interested in dating as well and might just say fuck all that shit altogether where i'll remain single. maybe it's because of the rejection or the simple fact that even if i am able to start date, i won't be able to enjoy it that i'm not fully out and comfortable with myself as a person, have my own place and have any money to do anything. this sucks. i would be happy as hell to date another guy if everything in my life was right but everything is getting fucked up. i feel like saying fuck this whole gay thing. it's becoming a complete annoyance. i did this shit to make my life easier and it seems like the exact opposite is happening and i'm wasting my time.

Consider that you're further progressed than me on the dating front, in that you've been on dating websites, chatted with guys, and created profiles. I've done none of those things. So you've already had more confidence that I've had there.

And I'm sure you know deep down that trying again to pretend to be straight is a massively backward step.

It will all take time - but in say 2 years or 5 years you could look back and see how much you changed and grew as a person. I, and Lefty, and others, have already seen it, just in the time you've been on this forum.

And I only wish I could speak for others around here who treat you very poorly, but I think you're a genuine and honest guy with a lot on his plate who's making positive steps in his life. And I'd miss you greatly if you ever left.

 

[refujiunderground]

You just perfectly explained why this board has gone downhill! It's the senseless rules here.

I much prefer boards where you can pretty much say anything to anyone.

Sorry, I don't know what kind of fucked-up boards you post at, but I've been to a couple others and they're managed so much better than this one.

i agree. certain members get a pass and others catch heat for the same thing. the mods over here are very friendly and cool though. i know that i've been skating on thin ice for a good minute. my guess is the next time i screw up or argue with some else again, i'll get banned. what's crazy is that they banned giancarlo. what did he do?

 

[xbuzzerx]

i agree. certain members get a pass and others catch heat for the same thing. the mods over here are very friendly and cool though. i know that i've been skating on thin ice for a good minute. my guess is the next time i screw up or argue with some else again, i'll get banned. what's crazy is that they banned giancarlo. what did he do?

What gets me is what they call a ban here would be called a suspension almost anywhere else. When people say x got banned to me that means they're gone forever unless they spoof an IP lol.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

:O !! ^^

I am shocked beyond words. GC got banned?

I see SexKitten/Enchanted got banned... what'd he do?

 

[xbuzzerx]

I see SexKitten/Enchanted got banned... what'd he do?

Check out the "sending kisses to you" thread if you wanna know. Got kinda personal on a poster.