The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Confused about my friend's sexuality

JFarm89

Porn Star
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Posts
366
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Edmonton
Okay one of my close friends'. It's the things he has been saying to me at work, makes me wonder, I don't know if he's joking or if he is being serious? He texts me that I have a sexy butt, and that he wants to see my penis, cum in the bum, and so on. He also tells my other co workers about his sex jokes. Maybe trying to make everyone laugh, which doesn't work because they get confused of the message that he tries to get across. The expression in his voice, and the choice of words that he chooses. He does however have a case of Asberger's syndrome and ADD.

I did go into his room and there wasn't a single poster of a guy hanging in his room. He has posters of women. Which tells me that okay he's still into women. But he never dated he only wanted the girls to be in a friend relationship and no further than that. He is a bit religious, so that's maybe holding him back a bit. To have sex until after marriage that kind of thing.

I talked to one of my other friend's that spread the rumor to me that he might actually be gay, because he went to one of the concerts that was happening in downtown. A few of my buds caught him saying, that he likes dick. At the end of it he is all of a sudden joking about it. He is very confusing!! How should I go about helping him to open up? Or should I let him be to figure it out himself? There is that possiblity that he is closeted. But jokingly expressing his gay side is very immature. It's embarrassing, creeps everybody out. It's almost like he's insulting the gay people out there, because he doesn't like one of my gay friends just because he's Angus and he's gay.


Off Topic:

I gotta admit that (Angus is a little weird.) He obsesses on Apple products that will revolutionize the world, and also likes to talk about his bf a lot and beer and movies, work etc. Angus does invite me over to his place to relax and to eat supper with him and his family. He did ask me if I had a bj before. I said yes I have, from my gf who is now an ex. He said okay... Do you want me to give you a blowjob? I said no, because he has a bf already. He says okay. But I gotta mention that he already talked over with is bf that he encourages him to hang around with me. But I'm not that kind of guy who is falling for any guy. Nor willing to have any sex with him because, I do not feel comfortable at all. He does want to me to show him my porn videos. I said noooooo waaaaay buddy! :P There's a point where it crosses the line.
 
You are both friends and you work together as well?

I see two different things that need to be addressed -

As a friend, you might want to gently break it to him that he is crossing a line at work; if you aren't comfortable or close enough to tell him, I'd go to another friend that is closer to him. If it has gotten to the point of being a hinderance/distraction at work, then it's a problem.

Also, are you also getting annoyed with the comments that personally, and would you rather that he not cross tht line with you? You need to address this as well.

Aside from all of that, if he is indeed a close friend, continue to listen and offer up support if he needs it, and remind him of that.

I applaud you for being such a concerned friend.
 
Gay? Perhaps.

Head case? More likely.

What he's doing is inappropriate for the workplace. You understand where the line is. Point out that line to him and make it clear that neither of you will be crossing it.
 
You say he has Asperger's. Well one of the signs of Asperger's is severe inappropriateness and to be utterly clueless that one's actions are such. I would be very careful with this guy. Sex and sexual innuendo is not something that he seems to understand. And forming meaningful relationships is very difficult for someone with this syndrome.
 
Establish the boundaries you are comfortable with and stick to them. As for your friends finding their way, they are on their own path. Don't be wushu washy with different boundaries every day.
 
Oops I forgot to mention that the guy I'm talking about is Graham. Angus is another guy that I hang out with.

Yeah Graham doesn't like Angus very much, because he is weird and gay.

But Graham he crosses the line a bit too far at times, so I should probably speak out to him of how everybody would feel. He might take it in a jokingly kind of way, while my other co-workers think that he is taking it seriously. So there's a few people stepping away from him. It's sad to see him get made fun of. But one of my co worker's Nathan already suggested to him if you have nothing good to say. Don't say anything at all. Because you will get made fun of from the others. So I think he might be progressing on his behavior I'm not sure. But Graham wonders why I don't text him. He can be a annoying bugger, so I say to him, dude we see each other everyday at work. Then he says "Grrr.. How come you never text me anymore?! You're supposed to talk to me, not Angus. Don't hangout with that kid he's gross." <(That's Graham's exact words)

Personally Graham to me. We do nothing exciting when I'm at his place we either watch a movie, or he's chatting away to another chick while I watch him as I twiddle my thumbs. Or occasionally go out for a walk, or play a game (at least walks are nice :) )

Personally Angus to me. We go out for lunch or for dinner, we sit and watch a movie, and chat, and we socialize with other guys. He's inviting me over to celebrate his dad's birthday tomorrow and he wants me to come over. I mean I almost feel spoiled being around with him! (When there's food I'll be there! Not so much when there's alcohol, <'not a big drinker'>)
 
. I would be very careful with this guy. Sex and sexual innuendo is not something that he seems to understand. And forming meaningful relationships is very difficult for someone with this syndrome.

This, this, this. No offense to the autistic, but even if the kid is gay, you really probably shouldn't get involved with him anyway.
 
I do agree with ya cockbrain. But Grahams' not inappropriate all the time. He definately has troubles understanding body language and he tries to understand peoples feelings a bit better, but him knowing how we would react to his random funny comments. Are plain stupid and not funny. He laughs and I shake my head. :rolleyes: hehe
 
This, this, this. No offense to the autistic, but even if the kid is gay, you really probably shouldn't get involved with him anyway.

Graham, with his ADD, he likes diverting his attention to one thing after another. One day he's a homophobe (around the people he doesn't like I guess), and next thing you know he's acting all gay. (around the people he likes and trusts.) Is my guess.

It's best if I don't hang around with him all the time, just only maybe once a week. Just as long as he doesn't do stupid things around me then I'm good.
 
Graham, with his ADD, he likes diverting his attention to one thing after another. One day he's a homophobe (around the people he doesn't like I guess), and next thing you know he's acting all gay. (around the people he likes and trusts.) Is my guess.

It's best if I don't hang around with him all the time, just only maybe once a week. Just as long as he doesn't do stupid things around me then I'm good.

While I don't know either of you well enough to truly appreciate your situation, I've met people like that before, and in my experience you're playing with fire to keep them as even a limited part of your life.

There is absolutely no guarantee that he won't do stupid things around you, and in fact, considering his purported instability, I'd wager he's destined to do stupid things, maybe even dangerous things.

I suspect that this may get really messy for you if you continue on as you have been, but *shrug* your mileage may vary ;)
 
If your coworker really has Asperger's, then he probably doesn't understand the social significance of joking, sexuality, romance, flirting, etc. Figuring out his sexuality will be a challenge because he doesn't understand the scripts that we all rely on to various degrees, including our culture's assumptions that people are naturally gay or straight (in fact, most people aren't exclusively gay or straight, but we tend to think that way).
 
Back
Top