Chapter Seventeen – Victoria
I think of myself as a patient person, a reservoir of reserve, a SILO of STOLIDITY. And that's why I truly TREASURE Royal Castle Eustis. MY ROY, as I now think of him, all of him, every little part of him. And I use that 'little' affectionately, ever since I asked my friend Brewster about the size of Roy's YOU-KNOW-WHAT. Brewster says it sounds average to her and she should know being the first of my friends to DO IT with that cousin of hers. They were goin' LIKE RABBITS all summer long until that medical issue, but Brewster said a series of SHOTS solved everything just about.
And so I was patient with Momma and her pickin' at Roy, accusing him of being FLIGHTY in the FLORSHEIMS, as she put it, and she has so MANY ways of putting it. Finally she PROVOKED me so sorely I had to respond. “RENEE,” I told her, “I've WORN OUT two diaphragms this summer with Roy Eustis and yours hasn't even been out of its CASE! Or don't you NEED IT any more?”
I didn't tell her that the first diaphragm was a little dried out and tore when I practiced inserting it and the second one became painful to use after Roy STEPPED on it. But ANYWAY, she canceled my BCBG account for being sassy and I have to get even. And I will. Gerbils are tenacious, aren't they? Almost like badgers but without so many teeth? So it's comin', BITCH, it's comin'. Oh, my, did I say that?
I just don't know what IT is going to be yet. So I have been taking SOLACE from Roy. Such a sweet boy, he's never demanding, even when we are right in the MIDDLE of it, he's gentle and slow. Sometimes maybe TOO SLOW, but that's just because I'm getting used to how things work. No drama, no surprises. Reliability as opposed to resourcefulness, that's my Roy. And he IS cute with those pretty eyes of his, even Brewster thinks so, so I have to watch him when she's around. I'm afraid she would INHALE him and I'd be left with the just the Florsheims.
So last night at TGI Friday's – the one outside Front Royal - just when everything looked so UNPROMISING, there it was. Or rather there HE was. REVENGE! PAYBACK! Momma's carpenter! Roy didn't want to bother him, but I said he NEEDS us, Royal, sittin' there all alone with only a cheeseburger for company.
“Hey, Mike Pierce, it's so nice to see YOU again,” I said and he looked confused. “I'm Vicky, Renee La Gerbille's daughter. Remember?” I pushed my breasts forward the way Momma TRIES to do and he responded with a smile and a hello. “And this is my friend Roy Eustis. Do y'all know each other?”
Roy was acting oddly. “I'm a friend of Will Perry. I've seen you over at his place.”
“Right,” the carpenter answered in a neutral tone.
Push it, girl, I said to myself. “You look like you need some COMPANY. Mind if we join you?” I sat in the booth before he could say no. “Well, SIT DOWN, Roy!” It was an order; I didn't understand his reluctance. Roy's usually so outgoing.
I want you to know I never deliberately CONCOCTED anything. It wasn't a process or a scheme. The plan just appeared in my mind out of nowhere and it FELL into place. The gin and tonics helped I suppose. And it was so nice not to get CARDED the way they do in Manassas; my ID photo is SO unflattering. I never take a bad picture, but the picture isn't actually ME; it's one of Momma when she was thirty. Anyway, I decided I was going to take Mike home. And Roy, too, of course. And once we were in bed … I was going to have the world's loudest orgasm. And Momma would come running and there I'd be with Roy and HER CARPENTER! It may not have been the best thought out plan, but I'd one or maybe TWO up on her. She would have to give me the BCBG charge back out of MORTIFICATION!
By the time for last call, I complained I wanted another drink and there was no place to go and then, like it just POPPED into my mind, I proposed “Y'all know what? We could go to MY place. Why didn't I THINK of that!”
“You just did,” Mike said and got a chuckle from Roy. FINALLY those two were warming up a little. “You sure your momma won't mind?”
Roy looked at his phone for the time. “Sleeping pills. She last registered a pulse about an hour ago.”
“Why, Royal Eustis, how would you know about those pills?” He truly surprised me with that comment.
“She showed them to me. Called them the nurse of old age.”
“She also calls vodka the nurse of old age,” Mike said. “Sex, too,” he added talking almost privately to Roy.
“As if I'm NOT EVEN HERE ...” I pantomimed a dim and disapproving glare.
Twenty-five minutes later, the two trucks pulled up the drive. We entered through the kitchen, picking up gin, tonic, ice, and glasses. I told them my room was a good place to go, nobody would hear us.
The glasses were cumbersome. I guess I was the first one to actually DRINK from the BOTTLE. It seemed like a funny thing at the time. Then Roy did and I said, “Let me TASTE that gin.” And I gave him a big kiss. And then Mike took a swig. “Can't have YOU feeling left out!” I said and planted a WET ONE on him. “Now which one of y'all is hotter?” I repeated the process several times; but with gin-numbed lips, it was hard for any of us to tell. Besides, kissing wasn't the objective. I got naked in a flash but the boys were coy about getting their clothes off. They both tried to get into my bed WEARING their underwear. “Take those thing off or you'll see the biggest fire since SHERMAN burned ATLANTA!” I demanded.
Things were awkward at first. I had NO CLUE how complicated three sets of everything could make the SIMPLEST motions. It was close to a wrestling match when suddenly Mike said, “WHOA!” and everything came to a halt.
“What's wrong?” I asked.
“Uh, Mike and I … we, uh, crossed swords,” Roy explained.
“CROSSED SWORDS! That's SO ROMANTIC. Like y'all were DUELING over me.” It was fun to think that and then “WOOOH!” from me, getting a giggle from Mike.
“We're not dueling OVER you, now we're dueling IN you,” said the carpenter getting another giggle from Roy.
It was that giggle that did it. “WOOOH!” I said again. I half jumped when something in me connected like two hot wires. “OH!” and again, “Oh, myyyyyyy,” and then “WOOOH!”
“You're sounding like an owl,” Roy said and then laughed again, shaking up my insides and shocking me again.
“WOOOH! OOOH! WOOOH!”
“I think the owl just came,” Mike said.
Well! I tell you! I was SUFFUSED! Totally SUFFUSED! So THAT was what sex was about! And the TWO of them were still in me, mushing around and pressing on things and exciting me. “WOOOH!” Again! I wondered how loud I had been. I really hadn't been in control and if Momma heard me she'd be arriving any minute. I waited for the door to open while the three of us writhed slowly, with the boys enjoying it more now. I could hear them moaning.
“Shhh!” I cautioned. “We don't want to be too loud.” But then things got out of control again. I think Mike sort of grabbed Roy and they synchronized their writhing until, “WOOOH!” Again! “WOOOH!” Thoughts of Momma, revenge, and triumph were burned out of my head by the heat that was melting my insides.
My plan went OUT the WINDOW! I tried to keep my cries quiet. I didn't want this to END. Finally I couldn't TAKE any more. It felt like the delicate things inside me had been HOMOGENIZED and my surviving diaphragm had been dislocated or displaced or something. “Boys. Wait. I've got to check something.” I got up and went into the bathroom. After I had removed the diaphragm, I cleaned myself up a little and went back to the bedroom. No signs of Momma, thank the LORD. Those pills must really work. And there were my two little ANGELS talking quietly. About what? I wondered as pulled the blanket back. They were both still erect! Now what? I sure didn't want any more goings-on IN ME just then.
Mike was in the middle and I said to him, “Would you like me to help you out?” I put my hand on his thigh in what I hoped was an arousing way. Maybe he'll say “No, I'm good,” in that STOIC way boys have. I hoped so because I sure didn't know a THING about giving a blow job. Unfortunately he didn't say anything. I leaned forward. His cock SMELLED OF ME, which was oddly repellent; but I GAVE IT a TRY! He groaned and not from pleasure.
Then – my GOD! - THEN - these are Roy's own words, I swear! “Here, let me SHOW YOU!!!!” And on the SPOT, or should I say in my BED, my gallant Roy switched from DUELING to SWORDSWALLOWING! Pausing every now and then to GIVE ME DIRECTIONS!
No teeth! Use your hands! Don't actually blow, suck! The ultimate was: Now YOU try! But just then Mike let out this huge groan and jammed Roy's head back on his cock and EXPLODED!
I don't know what to say about this, really ... It was quite an awesome moment ... Seeing my BOYFRIEND suck dick like that. My little puss was all wet again. Definitely an awkward moment, for sure. SOMETHING needed SAYING! So I ventured a word or two.
“I'm free Wednesday night! Or even TOMORROW, if y'all would like.” I tried to keep my tone light, I didn't want to make it sound like a date or a commitment or anything. I settled on Monday and hoped I could get a new diaphragm by then. My Roy HATES condoms.