Chapter Five – Marlee
Dear Patient Diary,
You've had to be patient I know! I haven't written in a while, but last week was so tumultuous! That first time with Mike was almost traumatic. It felt like I was jumping into the fiery abyss. I can still feel his eyes on me as he tugged on the string of my peignoir. It was a huge decision to be nude underneath – I felt kind of trampy - but I expected the event to be somewhat more, well, violent, to tell the truth. I envisioned him shredding my clothes and ravishing me. And I pay a lot for my clothes. Well! Came the day! What a silly, girlish idea. He did nothing of the kind. 
He slowly pulled on the ribbon, giving me every chance to back out. Then, with a sudden release, the robe fell open and all he did was look. I shrank under his gaze until I saw the first hint of a smile, the first sign of appreciation. I took a deep breath, thrust out the bazooms, and let him look. He undressed himself with the same unhurried care, letting me admire his physique. He left his briefs on, carefully concealing his cock – you know, the way a dentist hides his monstrous lidocaine needle until the last moment. It wasn't until we were lying on the bed that he let me slip them off. The room was darkened and I couldn't see much, which was fortunate. I had no idea of his size until he entered me. And he was in no hurry to do that.
He kissed me everywhere except on the lips, slowly, tantalizingly moving over my body until he got to my secret places. Then he stopped and went back to the beginning. The third time he did this, I totally lost it. I was more than horny. I was wet and needy. FUCK ME! I screamed. 
 
And then the feeling came. “Is that a 
dildo? Use your cock!” I demanded.
“That is my cock,” he answered calmly.
The feeling of possession overtook me. I came twice even before he really got going and those orgasms were better than Fairfax had ever triggered. But that was nothing. The third orgasm was shattering. I couldn't say a word. All I could do was hold on. The motion. The shocks of his pounding. And then the way he held me by the rump. When he was done I felt like I'd have to reassemble myself starting from a puddle of joyjuice and whatever other parts of me might be lying around.
I lay for an hour recovering. Seven words was all he said. “Are you sure?” and, when I thought he was using some kind of appliance, “That is my cock.”
I saw his cock when he got up to dress. Magnificent was the word that came to mind and by then I don't think he was fully hard any more. I really can't think an adequate description to put in a diary. I'd really need a video clip to append to show how it slowly, almost ponderously bounced and swung as he walked across the room. If I were a younger woman I truly think I would have been frightened in a very delicious way. Now, waiting for him today, it's just anticipation. Maybe today when he's done and his cock is still so big he can put it in again. Am I sounding greedy? Ok, a little.
Mike's visits have fortunately made sex with Fairfax no longer a necessity. Despite his appalling admission about that business with Tommy Lynn, we did have sex a few times more; but those times came mostly from habit and a little from need. I mean, after thirty years of regular sex a girl gets used to things, gets to need attentions. But now I feel liberated - not just from Fairfax but from mediocrity. It's been life-changing. 
OMG! He's coming ...  
Woo! Fuck on a stick! I didn't know I could feel this good. However, the money part is a little annoying. It makes it seem - I don't know - like sex is a commodity. Renee says to think of it as a gift, a little token, but I can't.  He makes more in an afternoon than my daddy did in a month. You can dress me all up and give me a monthly household allowance that would buy most folks a nice car, but I'm still a girl off a farm that had some not so good years. A lot of not so good years, truth be told. And giving Mike what I give him for a couple hours pleasure makes me wonder about my sanity. Of course, I'm saying this after he fucked me, not before. Already I'm wondering when he'll be back. I told him Thursday, but he said Friday. Is he teasing me? Or is he really going bowling on Thursday? I don't think the young people bowl much any more.
Well, Thursday will give me a chance to catch up on Emma and that rascal she's doing loop-de-loops over. Roy was such a nice boy when he was just Willis's playmate, but now I believe he's having sex with my baby girl and it vexes me something fierce.. There's no other word for it. I told Renee it plain VEXES me. And she said that her Victoria was the same way, taking up with the wrong sorts of boys. One she liked, she said, but he turned out to be gay, she said. I was tempted to tell her about Fairfax and 
Tommy, but that would be trouble, I know. But I do have to tell somebody. Maybe I could tell Mike.
Dear Understanding Diary,
I'm going to burn these pages. I'll have to. But I have to tell somebody and I can't tell Renee even if she does tell me everything. This morning I was checking on Emma's room to see if the new girl had cleaned it well and … There it was  - in plain sight on the top shelf of her closet behind the extra blanket! A diaphragm and some of that jelly! I nearly fell off the chair I was standing on. And it was huge! The diaphragm, that is. The girl must be running coal trains in and out. I swear! Sweet baby Emma! A whore! At nineteen! I'm going to have a talk with her. And that Roy! I'm going to talk to her right now.
Hmm … So she says she's never used it. It's a just-in-case, emergency diaphragm. And got all uppity about it. She said Tommy Lynn told her I was quite an item at the age of sixteen. And she's already nineteen – sexually retarded, compared to her girl friends. 
Well, now it's true that nasty boy, what was his name? Turner? No, he was number two. Allyn! that's who it was! Allyn Astaire! He just put the head in, so technically we didn't have sex at all. Well, I didn't anyway. I was too busy cleaning up the mess Allyn made. I had no idea how much boys could pump out. I thought it would be something more modest, like female secretions. And then he bragged about it! So to get even, I told the girls that he tried, but he was too small to get it in. It ruined his reputation, but unfortunately it did make me seem maybe a little slutty. So my comeback line became “I have STANDARDS, and you don't measure up!” But again, that made me something of an expert on cocks, not that kind of reputation you're looking for at sixteen. Girls have it so hard compared to boys.
Well, things are never totally in vain, are they? Renee told me Allyn Astaire was her first because she believed me about his cock being small – kind of a good trial size -  and for years she thought seven inches was small. Til she married Smith and found out they come much smaller! Ha! It's a wonder she has children, she said.
Ok, so it's much later now and it turns out there IS a Valley Lanes in Harrisonburg and Mike really was there bowling. I almost bumped right into him, but it was crowded enough that he didn't see me. He was wearing cargo shorts that clung to him and made him like you know what on a stick. I suspect a couple of his friends might be gay. I wonder if he knows. Oh, well, who cares as long as he isn't! And I'm prepared to testify, he isn't! I can't wait for tomorrow.