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Curious... Is my friend too?

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xtc99992003

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So by the title you know that I'm a little curious. Mostly I love pleasure and I like trying all sorts of things... or at least I think I like trying them. Never have. But I have a friend (we both identify ourselves as straight) who also agrees with me for the most part. And we both have very strong sex drives haha. We were talking through text messages one night and I made the comment that I would be ok with doing stuff with a guy for pleasure and the experimentation factor. He originally agreed but later said it was a little weird. He asked what types of things I had done with myself (being able to lick my cock at one time, tasting cum, and anal play). He said he was willing to try the anal stuff. And he did... said he wasn't sure about the feeling but didn't like doing it because he felt dirty. In my opinion he isn't giving it a chance because I know prostate stimulation can be very pleasurable. But the fact he tried it and said he agreed (at least somewhat) with experimenting makes me wonder...

My question is what do you think? Is he wanting to try something?

I sometimes get the vibe he wants to but is afraid to ask. Should I make a move? And how?

By the way... We have watched porn together and I showed him xtube and pronotube and how you get everything on there: gay, straight, and all the kinky stuff. And he didn't seem to think much of it.
 
Well, why not give him a bigger opening (pun certainly not intended)? Tell him you'd like to experiment with a guy, doing certain things, but you feel it'd have to be somebody you know and trust first. Then see if he still sounds interested.

Lex
 
Ya that was in that first conversation. Didn't add every detail of it... He said it was a little weird. I said the only way I could do it was with someone I trusted a lot. He knows that I trust him more than any of my friends.
 
ruffboi - Ya that's kind of the thing I worried about. I feel for me even its just curiousity... I'm attracted to women but find the idea of fooling around with a guy interesting.

Hartfordguy - Thought about that... like when we are watching porn. I'm almost positive he was sporting a hard on. Ha. He was sitting and leaning forward then he was laying on his stomach (on my bed... with me there too may I add). But I'm not sure how to word things. Something like "I need to jack off. Want to do it with me?". And if he says no... "well I'm going to the other room then." If yes... what should I do to get things rolling?
 
Yeah all you have to say to him is that you would feel very comfortable if you could experiment with a person you know well. Because I'm sure he's waiting for you to initiate all of this.
 
You have got a smart dude for a friend.

No doubt, he'd love 2 give it a try. However, he is also logging his doubts, just so that he could always be on a safer side. He wants you to initiate the things, so if there is ever a talk about the possibly gay nature of your little 'experiments', he could always remind you that, yeah, he had serious concerns and doubts about it, in the first place.

Which kinda makes you more on the gay side than he would be. Not that you should damn care about it.

I'd give him a bigger opening, Lex suggested and have fun with him. If he agrees to do the deed, all the previous banter is immaterial. In my books, that is.

SC
 
silver - why do you say he is smart? And I know the gay nature of it all... But I don't see it being for pleasure and thrill only as "gay". Gay to me is more of a love for the same sex. Of course I will have people tell me other wise and disagree with my definition (in fact he agreed too when I asked him). But it's my opinion. And I'm sure I have the same (if not more) concerns about it as he does.

And I already did what Lex said. The conversation mostly went like this. Just started talking about what we had down with ourselves. I got on the topic of prostate stimulation. Then how I was willing to try stuff with a guy for the pleasure and my definition of being "gay". He seemed to agree but found it a little weird too. I said I wouldn't be able to do it unless it was with someone I trusted. I later talked about how much I trusted him with this information. And he knows he is about the only guy friend I'm relatively close with.

I am the more blunt one out of the two of us. He probably is waiting for me to make the move.
 
Is what I described earlier the best approach to trying stuff?

I want to know if he says yes to jacking off together how to take things to the next level.
 
i went through this too.
what i did was start by watching porno together and got on the topic of mutual masterbation. he agreed with most of the stuff i was saying. about 5 mins after the convo he said "i want to wank, u want to try mutual masterbating". while jerking off i asked him how far hed ever go with a guy, he didnt say anything, insted he grabed my cock and started sucking. that night we went all the way. about 2 weeks later he asked me out. weve been in a relationship ever since.:D
 
So I'm guessing I'm going down the right path with the jacking off thing. But still... what if he doesn't make the first move after that? What should I do? Just ask him if he'd like to try getting blown... only if he reciprocates however.
 
xtc99992003 said:
So I'm guessing I'm going down the right path with the jacking off thing. But still... what if he doesn't make the first move after that? What should I do? Just ask him if he'd like to try getting blown... only if he reciprocates however.
Click to expand...

You'd be going down the right path up until the point that you require reciprocation. I agree with SilverRRCloud; your friend is definitely smart. He's smart because he has it set up so that you know that he wants to experiment, but in case you don't want to, he could be like "Whoa, dude what are you talking about?" if you called him out on it. He's giving you double meanings. Ambivalent to a point, but on the whole it seems he's giving you the go ahead to make the first move; especially if you're the more aggressive of the two.

You gotta play it delicately or he won't do anything. Telling him that reciprocation is necessary will box him in and he likely won't play. IMO guys who still manage to maintain their "straight" identity after experimenting are more likely to do it again. There's a comfort level that needs to be achieved. The issue came up between my best friend and I nearly 7 years ago. We were discussing love and dating and we mutually agreed that a person can't help who they fall in love with. 7 years later and some alcohol after his divorce we acted on it. Once we got into it, he was more apt to go further, but nothing that would compromise his idea of himself was on the table at first.

Word of caution - be sure this is a path you want to go down. Because once opened it's a door that can't be closed and you could lose a good friend.
 
Very true... Should I just ask instead of kinda playing the aggressive role? I guess I will just wait a little longer and see how he acts towards things. I just don't want to screw up the friendship like you said.

I'm actually staying at his house tonight... we will see. Doubt anything happens though.
 
maybe he's' just worried that if you do something togather it might affect your friendship .... and not for the best
 
If it is something you really want to pursue then ask for what you want. I don't think it is ridiculous to ask. My friend asked me, however that was after a good deal of whiskey and we were sitting alone together at 3 a.m. If there's any chance you guys might be caught I highly doubt it will be a go.

Best advice I know to give is this: don't worry or be concerned with what you want. Keep his comfort level and how he feels at the forefront of your mind if at all possible. Once comfort is established everything else usually falls into place.

While you could probably predict this guy is curious, what you can't predict is how he'll be feeling after. Some guys feel a great deal of guilt. Others want more, but on the side, others still come out. It's a big variety bucket of emotions and whether guys (straight) want to admit it or not sexual behavior with another guy ends up being a highly emotional affair in the end.

That being said, the most important thing after his comfort is to have fun. Safely.
 
phoenix - That's what I've been worrying about most. Even more than seeing if he would actually try something. He said he felt guilty about stimulating his prostate. So it would be really tough for him if we did decide to do anything... It would be hard for me too. Guess time will tell.

And no, nothing happened last night. He seems really on guard about things when he is at home. Things don't seem as... relaxed as they do at my house. So if anything is going to happen it will be at my house. Which is for the best because there isn't anyone here usually.
 
I forgot to mention... while we were sitting on the couch (I was playing the 360 and he was watching) he had his hangs down his pants which isn't uncommon. He wasn't playing with himself from what I could tell, but its the fact he was sitting right next to me.
 
a couple years ago a friend and i had this same dynamic, but he blindsided me with the whole thing. he was a really really good friend of mine and we would always hang out down in his basement playing san andreas, listening to music and smoking pot. it all started when he wanted me to watch these "trippy beatles movies" on his computer, so me and him were chillin and watching sgt pepper's lonely hearts club band. later on, he turned it off and xd out the video player but his porn folder was underneath it. he jokingly asked me if i wanted to watch porn and i said yes. from there, things went crazy.

it became routine to watch porn with him, because i basically spent that summer constantly at his house playing video games and swimming. we would watch porn everyday, and then one day he looked over and noticed i was hard. he said he needed to jerk off and i said i didn't care and that i would too. we started off by jerking off under our clothes, and we did this like two times. later times we decided that it was uncomfortable to keep our hands in our pants and eventually just showed each other our dicks and jerked them off. from there it escalated into hand jobs, blow jobs and sex, but the whole situation took a toll on me because he maintained his closeted status (and still does today, in fact he's in the marines now). it started to freak him out how intense we were getting (meanwhile i started to get emotionally attached). he started keeping distance and we ended up not being friends over it. it was really fun while it lasted and i don't regret doing it with him, i just wish he would be honest with himself.

my suggestion would be to open things up the way he did to me. before the bad things happened between us he did make me really comfortable doing it with him. just make sure though, that this person won't do what my friend did to me. it hurts a lot because you explain that your friend is 'straight'. i have to admit, half the fun of a situation like this is doing it together and keeping it a secret from your friends (not that it's a bad thing, sneaking around can be thrilling). it just sucks when other baggage gets in the way and ends up ruining a friendship. keep those things in mind, but if you're sure it's ok, introduce it the way my friend did.
 
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