Curious... Is my friend too?

[KaraBulut]

It's a big deal for both of us I'd say. We both don't consider ourselves gay... but according to society (especially around here) this is "gay". It's hard to just make the move and I'm not about to get labeled for something I don't think I am.

There's a difference between what you do and what you feel.

Labels are there for convenience. It's a lot easier to say "gay" or "bi" than it is to say, "I'm straight, I am attracted to women with the notable exception of my curious male friend that I occasionally play around with but he's the only one".

Don't waste time and energy worrying what society thinks you are. If you and your friend are happy where you are, then just enjoy it and stop worrying about whether it's "gay".

 

[rareboy]

So... talked to him recently and of course just discuss random stuff through text messages. We got on the topic of taking pictures/videos of yourself nude or jacking off or whatever and he said he did it a lot but never did anything with them and deleted them off his phone. Jokingly I tease him saying I'm going to send him naughty pictures of me because I know it makes him nervous and it cracks me up. Secretly I'm just waiting for him to say that he wants to see them.

But today he mentioned after I had told him I had a photoshoot last night that I should make my own website of me doing my thing. I was like well I have thought about doing a xtube account and he said I should do it. Naturally he was not going to do it to. I flat out told him I wasn't doing it alone. If I did it he had to do it. He wasn't sure because it was "too personal". I assured him I wouldn't ever put face pictures or personal info on the page because I didn't want that on there to come back and bite me in the ass.

So I basically said I'd do it if he did it. And told him to think about it.

If he does this he will obviously be comfortable showing me his body... and if the feedback might suggest some more provocative scenes he might be more willing to try stuff. He said himself he wanted to see the feedback.

I've noticed he says I should do a lot of stuff get my own porn website going, get a dildo, an just asking different questions... but never seems to want to do them himself. I think he is just afraid to experiment and let himself go.

Too much work.

He's not worth it.

Move on.

 

[xtc99992003]

There's a difference between what you do and what you feel.

Labels are there for convenience. It's a lot easier to say "gay" or "bi" than it is to say, "I'm straight, I am attracted to women with the notable exception of my curious male friend that I occasionally play around with but he's the only one".

Don't waste time and energy worrying what society thinks you are. If you and your friend are happy where you are, then just enjoy it and stop worrying about whether it's "gay".

Ya I wish it were that easy... but society determines a lot. It's nearly impossible to not care what people think.

Rareboy - It's not that I'm wanting to have sex with him all the time and thats all I'm in this for. I'm curious if he feels the same way and then if it leads to fooling around... ok. Basically he is a friend first not the guy I can do stuff with.

Edit-
I forgot to add my little plan. Next time he comes over I'm going to sleep nude (we both talk about doing this a lot) whether or not he is in the same vicinity or not. I'm going to take my shorts and throw them at him so he clearly knows I'm not wearing anything and I'll see what he does with the shorts. If he throws them back he doesn't care, if he keeps them or throws them across the room... he probably wants to see something since he knows I like to keep them close in case someone were to come into the room or if I have to jump out of bed and do something quick I dont want to search around for shorts.

 

[KaraBulut]

Ya I wish it were that easy... but society determines a lot. It's nearly impossible to not care what people think.

So, society thinks it's wrong to be gay but perfectly fine to "do a lot of stuff get my own porn website going, get a dildo, an just asking different questions..."

I forgot to add my little plan. Next time he comes over I'm going to sleep nude (we both talk about doing this a lot) whether or not he is in the same vicinity or not. I'm going to take my shorts and throw them at him so he clearly knows I'm not wearing anything and I'll see what he does with the shorts. If he throws them back he doesn't care, if he keeps them or throws them across the room... he probably wants to see something since he knows I like to keep them close in case someone were to come into the room or if I have to jump out of bed and do something quick I dont want to search around for shorts.

This is called game-playing. Now we're getting to rareboy's valid point that this is no longer worth the time nor effort.

 

[G-Lexington]

Yes, no doubt that's precisely what Kara meant. The plan sounds kinda hot. Hope to see the results on your new porn webpage soon.

Lex

 

[xtc99992003]

So then it is a good idea?

Figured it's playful and flirtatious but still subtle.

 

[xtc99992003]

Eh I don't think it's that abnormal. We talk about everything. And he knows that I jack off when we are texting sometimes. No not textual-relation type of stuff. I will be looking at porn and talking about it and he will ask for some pictures. I'll slip in something that lets him know I'm jacking off and he never says anything other than "Oh wow." So how would throwing my shorts at him letting him know I'm sleeping naked be any different than texting him telling him I am or encouraging him to do it?

 

[xtc99992003]

Oh... ok.

But see the thing about him, he falls asleep crazy fast. And he sleeps hard. Ive launched clothes at his face when he was asleep... like a hard throw... and he didn't flinch. I could probably cop a feel but I feel that's wrong.

 

[KaraBulut]

 

[G-Lexington]

Kara, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?

Lex

 

[xtc99992003]

I'm slightly confused here...

But there's lots to lose.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Kara, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?

Lex

I need some too.

 

[KaraBulut]

Kara, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?

Lex

Make it Irish Coffee and you're on.

 

[EvilForce]

8 months of planning, plotting, what ifs, should I, could I, would I. And for what? Nothing.

Stop living inside your head. Live in the here and now. Live in the real world. What a waste of energy.

 

[gameaddict]

look hmm how about you ask him out or kiss him or something

 

[xtc99992003]

Ya... well like I said... I'm really reserved so it's hard for me to be so sexually aggressive.

And I'm trying to figure out how he feels about it... he does one thing that gets me guessing maybe then something else happens that makes think ok no he isn't interested.

gameaddict - I dont want to ask him out... eh... no. Definitely not. Just someone to fool around with and not have anything tied to it except friendship is the most I'm looking for.

evilforce - sure maybe a waste of energy to you but I analyze everything excessively... this is pretty normal on the level of thought anyway.

 

[xtc99992003]

i think that might just be how it happens... really confusing right up until its actually happening.

but hey if it doesnt happen then at least you werent fooling yourself into thinking you actually liked him

ya... I figure it's always going to be this way until it just happens. I really am getting close to just asking him if he wants to try stuff... I think it will just have to be placed correctly.

 

[gameaddict]

Ya... well like I said... I'm really reserved so it's hard for me to be so sexually aggressive.

And I'm trying to figure out how he feels about it... he does one thing that gets me guessing maybe then something else happens that makes think ok no he isn't interested.

gameaddict - I dont want to ask him out... eh... no. Definitely not. Just someone to fool around with and not have anything tied to it except friendship is the most I'm looking for.

evilforce - sure maybe a waste of energy to you but I analyze everything excessively... this is pretty normal on the level of thought anyway.

I'm pretty sexual conserved but when you're in "the mood" you gotta let go... even though im still a virgin and dont have the best of experience I know from experience of being in "the mood" that anything can happen

 

[rareboy]

sure maybe a waste of energy to you but I analyze everything excessively... this is pretty normal on the level of thought anyway.

The great thing about analysis and planning is that for some people it really means they never have to act at all. The process is the product. Hopefully this isn't how you lead your entire life because it must be agonizing for all those around you.

I dont want to ask him out... eh... no. Definitely not. Just someone to fool around with and not have anything tied to it except friendship is the most I'm looking for.

Then you're just wasting everyone's time, aren't you.

I noted earlier:

Too much work.

Not worth it.

Move on.

Now you'll have to excuse me but I'm going to go out for coffee and shots with Lex, JB18 and Kara.

 

[KaraBulut]

The great thing about analysis and planning is that for some people it really means they never have to act at all. The process is the product. Hopefully this isn't how you lead your entire life because it must be agonizing for all those around you.

Aye, analysis paralysis. The perfect excuse for inaction.

Now you'll have to excuse me but I'm going to go out for coffee and shots with Lex, JB18 and Kara.

We've been saving a seat for you.