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Curious... Is my friend too?

I'm not looking for a relationship... that's not what I want at all. I just want to try stuff.
 
sartj7 painted a common picture. That's how it usually goes down.

I don't think he was implying you were looking for a relationship, just that is how it turned out in his situation. Each situation is different, but I really agree with sartj7. He's dead on with a lot of what he posted.

And he is totally right, the idea of a "secret" is exciting and frankly, hot. Stuff suddenly takes on double meanings and only the two of you can interprept these meanings. The problem comes when/if one of you gets emotionally attached and the other doesn't.
 
So if we did decide to do anything we would need to make it clear it's just for fun, experimentation, and pleasure. I strongly doubt either of us would get any more emotionally attached outside of friendship. It would suck bad to lose him as a friend.
 
The mature "adult" thing to do is preface the whole deal with what you just said exactly. Don't go into anything with anybody assuming anything is understood. Spell it out. In BIG, bright neon letters. That way there is no misunderstandings and everyone knows where they stand. It's a whole idea of disclosure, say for argument's sake he develops feelings for you and you didn't have the conversation, then he could be really and rightfully pissed at you for leading him on. Having the clarification talk isn't foolproof, but you'll sleep better at night knowing you were upfront and honest.

So, do you have any kind of plan or ideas of a plan? Just curious, how old are you?
 
I'm 18. And ya I think about every possible outcome... with just about everything. I analyze things with insane detail, it's slightly maddening. Just don't ask his age (I will say he is younger** though) or personal things about either of us. I'm paranoid about the net... this is a stretch for me to ask for advice on here.

** Yes, I know the legal aspects of this. Believe me. I know. He isn't much younger than myself.
 
haha @ personal things about you guys, haha you're cute!

Well, be careful dude. Don't overanalyze. Just let me know if I can help you out anymore if I have at all.

Your ideal situation is comfort for both parties. Doing something kinda sexual (open your definition of sexual) and allow the topic to come up naturally. No pressure, no problems.....
 
thephoenix said:
haha @ personal things about you guys, haha you're cute!

Well, be careful dude. Don't overanalyze. Just let me know if I can help you out anymore if I have at all.

Your ideal situation is comfort for both parties. Doing something kinda sexual (open your definition of sexual) and allow the topic to come up naturally. No pressure, no problems.....
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Ya I know... kinda stupid about the privacy stuff but the net is a scary place. Haha.

You've just reestablished my thoughts on it. So ya you've been helpful.

Should I ask this in person or over text messages? We both seem more open in text messages, especially him. For example, I will bring up shaving our pubs (which we both do) in person and it kinda makes him uneasy. He has loosened up though. When we were watching porn he didn't really say much. I was the one making comments about how cheesy they can be.

This makes me think though... I made several comments while watching porn that would probably give him signals. I said being a lesbian would be boring (but still hot) since all they can do is lick, finger, and use fake cocks and some girls don't seem very good at blowing cock. When I said these things he kinda agreed but didn't really say much. Wasn't freaked out by any means... just didn't say much. Shortly after watching porn he moved the bottom of my bed and laid down while I was still messing with my computer. Think he was waiting for me to start something?
 
honestly, i don't know how many people would agree with me... but if he's at this point routinely coming over and watching porn with you alone in your room, he's asking for it. i think it's safe to say that. at this point i think you should suck it up and honestly just ask him if he wants to jerk off with you. don't be a sally about it and be like "would you ever masturbate with another guy in the room?" the next time you're watching porn together just be really blunt and say "do you wanna jerk off, i'm hard." when you are a little forceful he will understand that you aren't kidding. the worst that can happen is that he'll say no, and if he gets weirded out, it's his own damn fault for making the situation that way. from what you've said though, i really don't think it will be weird. just do it.
 
sartj7 said:
honestly, i don't know how many people would agree with me... but if he's at this point routinely coming over and watching porn with you alone in your room, he's asking for it. i think it's safe to say that. at this point i think you should suck it up and honestly just ask him if he wants to jerk off with you. don't be a sally about it and be like "would you ever masturbate with another guy in the room?" the next time you're watching porn together just be really blunt and say "do you wanna jerk off, i'm hard." when you are a little forceful he will understand that you aren't kidding. the worst that can happen is that he'll say no, and if he gets weirded out, it's his own damn fault for making the situation that way. from what you've said though, i really don't think it will be weird. just do it.
Click to expand...

I totally agree!
 
You'll do fine buddy. Just from talking to you I can tell you're in a pretty good place and your friend is really lucky. Just remember what I said about the door and not being able to close it.
 
Ya... I think one of two things will happen if we move past mutual. Things will be awkward and he wont want to be around me as much (which sucks because I'm pretty much a part of his family at this point) or it will just make our friendship closer.

I'm hoping the latter of the two.
 
aside from the last story i told you, i also had a couple run-ins with my other best friend this summer. he randomly confessed his fantasies of doing stuff with me out of nowhere, so i made it happen. skip to all the nervousness about doing it, it just happened after i sucked it up. but then he felt guilty because he was cheating on his girlfriend (shame on BOTH of us).

we stopped doing stuff, but you know what? we are closer than ever. i talk to him every single day (i'm actually talking to him right now on AIM). we don't ever discuss what happened over the summer because it was a mistake, but me and him are totally cool and not the least bit awkward.

even if things don't work out the way you see them in your mind (which i'm sure they will because it sounds promising), don't assume it has to be awkward. if you are honest with each other about the entire thing, you have nothing to worry about.
 
So I haven't been on here in a while. Figured I would give everyone an update. Nothing has happened... but I still think he might be hinting. A while ago he stayed over and we played on the xbox. And he stripped down in front of me to change into shorts to sleep in. I didn't take a look but he was watching me as he did it... guessing he was waiting for me to look. I know he doesn't do this as a normal thing when he stays over at everyones house because we stayed at another friends house and he didn't do it there.

We discussed sleeping in the nude which I threw the idea out for him to try it the night he stayed but he said he was fine in shorts.

He again said he was turned on by most things. Even agreed with me when I said the only turn offs I have are the weird stuff like bestiality, dominatrix, and the disgusting 2girls1cup type of thing. Nothing about guy-guy stuff...

But he is coming over tomorrow to watch porn on a site he has been wanting to look at (cant at his house... family is around all the time). I talked to him about shaving his balls too... which I'm willing to show him how to do. Any suggestions...?
 
Dude - something's gotta give if you want it! I'm not advocating underage excessive drinking, but honestly, if you could both have some alcohol and fool around then if things were weird after you could always blame the booze. But I do not advocate this. Since underage drinking is illegal.

Honestly, I have never known two guys to watch porn together and not at least jerk themselves off. But my experience is different from everyone else's. I get the feeling he's asking for something like that to happen. But he's still got to "feel" straight at the end of the day. Dude, I'm stating the obvious, but porn is highly sexual and most people don't share an experience like that with just anyone (again this is relative; I've know some straight guys to get drunk and be in one big group and a few of them jerk off) for the hell of it. Like I've said before I think he's looking for some kind of response. Next time it happens, you start on yourself and if he is offended by that, then you can say "hey what do you expect when you put on porn?" and know not to press anything further. If he joins in, it's a signal that he is getting comfortable. It might take several of these sessions to work up to jerking each other off and so on or it could happen then. SLOW is key though. The Bi-Curious/Straight is an easily frightened creature! haha
 
Oh my! It's more than obvious!! I've been in this situation many times and from my experience, I am 1000% sure that we would at least jerk off with you... So, start it off like that, without thinking about later.... After all... all you do is jerk off, there would be nothing "gay" in it...
And even if he doens't agree, it won't mean he doesn't want to... you have to make the right moves to persuade him...
 
So... talked to him recently and of course just discuss random stuff through text messages. We got on the topic of taking pictures/videos of yourself nude or jacking off or whatever and he said he did it a lot but never did anything with them and deleted them off his phone. Jokingly I tease him saying I'm going to send him naughty pictures of me because I know it makes him nervous and it cracks me up. Secretly I'm just waiting for him to say that he wants to see them.

But today he mentioned after I had told him I had a photoshoot last night that I should make my own website of me doing my thing. I was like well I have thought about doing a xtube account and he said I should do it. Naturally he was not going to do it to. I flat out told him I wasn't doing it alone. If I did it he had to do it. He wasn't sure because it was "too personal". I assured him I wouldn't ever put face pictures or personal info on the page because I didn't want that on there to come back and bite me in the ass.

So I basically said I'd do it if he did it. And told him to think about it.

If he does this he will obviously be comfortable showing me his body... and if the feedback might suggest some more provocative scenes he might be more willing to try stuff. He said himself he wanted to see the feedback.

I've noticed he says I should do a lot of stuff get my own porn website going, get a Dildo an just asking different questions... but never seems to want to do them himself. I think he is just afraid to experiment and let himself go.
 
Hey, thePhoenix and Sartj7 were giving you fantastic advice.

You dropped the ball.

It's all up to you.

Read my blog entry on this topic.


It's all in your hands (pun not intended!) :-)
 
My gosh a whole year and nothing progressed? I'll be surprised if something happens now.
 
It's a big deal for both of us I'd say. We both don't consider ourselves gay... but according to society (especially around here) this is "gay". It's hard to just make the move and I'm not about to get labeled for something I don't think I am.

My description for myself is curious and open with sexual experiences, but I'm a very very reserved person at the same time. It's just a big step that I know I'm afraid of making. I'm sure he is too.
 
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