Curious... Is my friend too?

[xtc99992003]

Oh... and just something that's happened. I told him about my recent anal play... said I had the best orgasm of my life so far. And he was asking questions about it. I wasn't pulling him along at all.

And I let him know that I wasn't going to push anymore of my sexual activities on him unless he wanted to know. I would simply mention it and if he is interested he can ask me all the questions he wants.

I'm planning on getting a fleshlight once I get into my house at school... Bet ya he wants to try that one out. Haha

 

[theFallenGod]

You're totally looking at this through rose tinted glasses my friend... You are only seeing what you want to see and not what is obvious...

You really think it's just because of labels??? I doubt that highly...

As I said if he wanted it he would have gone through with it by now. You pushed as far as you could ...he didn't take the bait ...time to move to a new a fish.

He's curious about what you do... not what you want to do to him.

 

[xtc99992003]

Well you can think what you want and say what you think. I read it and really did think about it but sorry... I know the situation better than you and I disagree.

Our lives would be destroyed to be labeled with something like this. And I'm sure I will get a lot of flack about that but it's true. I'm not listening to people bombard me for thinking (more like knowing) that.

 

[theFallenGod]

But today he mentioned after I had told him I had a photoshoot last night that I should make my own website of me doing my thing. I was like well I have thought about doing a xtube account and he said I should do it. Naturally he was not going to do it to. I flat out told him I wasn't doing it alone. If I did it he had to do it. He wasn't sure because it was "too personal". I assured him I wouldn't ever put face pictures or personal info on the page because I didn't want that on there to come back and bite me in the ass.

Well he got all pissy with me when I sent him pictures of my before and after shaving my pubs pictures. So I said it was no different than him seeing it in the locker rooms and it's not like I'm sending him pictures of my cock or me jacking off. He then tried saying that he gets to choose who he wants to see when he is in the locker room. I was like hello... you've changed in front of me before it's no different because you obviously are comfortable with me.

This is the biggest clue of them all, If he is gay or bi or anything ... it's not you he's interested in sleeping with. He can choose who he looks at and you are not one of those choices.

Anyway I asked him last night. He said he didn't understand. He really must not understand because I had to spell it out for him what his sexual boundaries were. I said the things you would do sexually with either a female or even a male. He got really quiet and didn't reply much. It was like pulling teeth. He just kept saying I don't know. And still claims that he doesn't fully understand. So I said well what about jacking off with a guy? Doesn't mean you have to touch each other, just doing it in the same room. He said he didn't think he'd feel comfortable and then said he was going to bed. I sent my last message which I didn't expect to hear much from again and I didn't. I said think of it this way... Is it much different from us texting each other while we're jacking off talking about all of it besides being with another person. Again I didn't get a reply.

I've decided he is the one doing the most playing. He was telling me about how he tried taking some scandalous (nude) pictures with his guitar covering him up. So he sent me a picture of him posed with his guitar... and it's just his arms, shoulders, and face so you wouldn't even think he was nude (but he was sure to tell me). He sent it in the first place to just get my opinion I guess...?

So I gave him some poses I would think would be good and said if you wanted me to I would take them because you wouldn't be able to take them yourself. He naturally said no. But I asked if he cared if I kept it as his picture ID for when he calls he said he didn't care (he knows people look through my phone too... I have a Glyde so everyone likes to play with it and flip threw the pictures).

I don't know though... he is so adamant about a lot of things. Like if I talk about something too much (the anal thing for instance) he gets pissed at me. Or when I asked him his boundaries he got super pissed. And just today I asked if he didn't like lube because he got off too easily. He rather rudely that he had already told me why he didn't like it. All I did was ask a simple question that hadn't been addressed. (((Important to say he is like this a lot though... moody at times. Not just when we talk about this stuff)))

Everything I have highlighted are giant clues to you my friend... As I said before.. He knows you are interested in him... he likes the attention you give him... but he is NOT interested in you in the same way... Some people just like to have a friend who showers them with affection and attention because it makes them feel good... but everything you have written about him ...especially those parts I have highlighted ... are things that say ... " you're cool, I like chilling with you, I like talking about this stuff with another guy friend...But I am not going to have sex with you...

He gets pissed because you push too much... it's like the female friend you have that tries everything to get you to notice but you are not interested in...

This is only going to end in disappointment for you... either you are not going to see what is being said and sit there and pine for your straight friend forever or you are going to push a bit too far and lose him as a friend.

Face it... it's not about fear it's about not being interested in you the same way you are interested in him.

 

[xtc99992003]

Well see I'm not describing normal conversation between us. He gets moody and gets pissed at me very quickly... so relying solely on what I've told you isn't evidence for anything.

And ya... He could easily look at me but I don't give him the chance. I never change in front of people. And what you tried using as evidence doesn't apply for him looking at me... it's him showing me his goods. The only viable point is he gets pissed when I joke around about that stuff. Which I will give you that. But still too much confusion in my opinion to declare that as him not being at all interested.

PS... I'm done arguing with you. Sure point it out but don't try turning my words against me. You may read them differently then I intended them to be read.

 

[theFallenGod]

Whatever dude... keep seeing things the way you want to see them and don't look at the facts and all you are going to get is disappointment.

 

[theFallenGod]

Nobody was flaming the guy...

His friend is doing what normal straight guys do and has made it known that going beyond talking about certain things makes him uncomfortable...

Our OP came on here for advice and most everybody is telling him to go for it... Yet if you read everything he has written it is obvious if he goes for it he is going to lose his friend.

Our OP has been asking for advice for almost a year now but is too afraid to actually make the next step which in my opinion is good because when he does it's going to cost him his friendship to this guy.

He is also projecting his own fear onto his friend. Meaning his fears of coming to terms with his own sexuality and his fear of being labeled as gay. Stating his straight friend is afraid when it is actually he that is afraid.

I think out OP knows this deep down which is why he hasn't made that mistake yet but at the same time he wants reassurance from us... and I felt a more honest approach was necessary in order to prevent him from losing his friend.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>man, i think you guys need to chill a little bit, if youre getting annoyed by the thread and dont want to read more updates theres a very simple solution--dont read them. stop bashing this guy whos just hoping to try something that you enjoy with his buddy. id say its a fairly big emotional thing for a guy in high school to maybe be interested in his friend. hes not bitching about it, hes just confused. can you honestly say you wouldnt be just a little?

I don't know if this is a generic term or not, but I call a thread like this a "soap opera thread". Why? Well, swing back to page one and check the date. This thing has been going on for almost a year. In real life, we attempt to resolve conflicts and questions. But in soap operas, conflicts and questions are never to be resolved. If one happens to finally get solved, another one immediately rushes in to take its place. They exist solely so people will "tune in tomorrow" and see what happens next, even if nothing ever really happens next.

A bunch of us spend a good deal of time here in CO&R, because we like helping people. We know we all can get stuck in crappy and/or confusing positions, and we can all use some advice and pointers from time to time. But in a thread like this, advice and pointers aren't any help. Because they aim to resolve the conflict, and without the conflict, the thread dies. You'll note a lot of us "CO&R regulars" have stopped posting in this thread. Why? Because we no longer have anything to add. I think it's clear that the OP doesn't want advice so much as an audience. I don't even really have any problems with that, other than the fact that it's always framed in the context of ASKING for advice. As I've said, I like giving advice, but only if advice is actually needed. If he's just looking to keep the plot moving, I'd rather he moved this to "gay stories".

Lex

 

[beatleshead]

EXACTLY!!!!! if an OP gets advice for his conflict but refuses to believe or at least reason and then says hes tired of the person and then posts that thier might be a chance, rinse, repeat.....that OP might just want an audience. which is a shame cos thiers probably a gay football player somewhere in Texas about to kill himself cos he cant love the person he wants too, who probably needs the wonderful ADVICE of some of the people on here.

May Lexington strike me down with lightning if this is a flame post!!!

 

[xtc99992003]

Wow...

Not looking for an audience.

If it's that big a deal... delete the thread and I'll likely never be around again as a poster.

I got my useful advice and even came to my own conclusion (with the help of that advice)... yet people still decided to tell me I'm wrong and what they think is correct and that's what I should do. I'm not saying I won't read what is presented afterwards but when it's as aggressive as I felt it was I'm not going to respond well.

Regarding the development of my little situation... I'm not the type of person to make quick decisions based on lust. I think with my head and heart before acting on what my penis thinks. It's a friendship (the closest I've ever had) at risk... which requires even more thought then the ordinary sexual encounter for me.

 

[xtc99992003]

Thanks for sticking up for me. I appreciate it. And you're right... this is the only place I can go to discuss this.

And I thought about the audience thing... ya i do want an audience. Except I was expecting the people in my audience to be the ones that were actually interested in this and cared a little.

 

[Maccabee]

I'm reading this thread with great interest and I hope that you'll eventually get what you want. I was wondering, have you ever tried playing a strip game with him? This sounds silly, but might break the ice between you. I did this with straight friends (although not pursuing anything) and in the heath of the game, people can cross boundaries they normally wouldn't.
I really wonder what would happen if you guys are both almost undressed. The tension between you might then eventually turn into something else!

 

[xtc99992003]

I'm reading this thread with great interest and I hope that you'll eventually get what you want. I was wondering, have you ever tried playing a strip game with him? This sounds silly, but might break the ice between you. I did this with straight friends (although not pursuing anything) and in the heath of the game, people can cross boundaries they normally wouldn't.
I really wonder what would happen if you guys are both almost undressed. The tension between you might then eventually turn into something else!

No haven't done anything like that. I've never been naked in front of him. Which is incredibly weird since I trust him so much. I just get really nervous and tend to get aroused some. And I'm not really confident about some parts of my body. Not so much my cock... I actually like the size and all. It the stretch marks on my butt and the fact I have little muscle on my body (I'm slender but not so skinny bones show through however)... He is in shape so I feel... well self conscious.

 

[Maccabee]

No haven't done anything like that. I've never been naked in front of him. Which is incredibly weird since I trust him so much. I just get really nervous and tend to get aroused some. And I'm not really confident about some parts of my body. Not so much my cock... I actually like the size and all. It the stretch marks on my butt and the fact I have little muscle on my body (I'm slender but not so skinny bones show through however)... He is in shape so I feel... well self conscious.

I think you should somehow get naked in front of him. Last year I want on a trip with some friends. There was a sauna there (nothing happened lol) and after that everyone was far less shy, resulting in that they wanted to play a strip game!
And please be confident about your body. I know what you mean by the stretch marks and I'm also slender. Personally I like slender boys. So being slender does not have to mean you can't be confident!
You made me curious about how you two guys look

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>im betting that he feels pretty alone in the world like a lot of us feel and this is just his way of reaching out for help.

He asked for help.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.

As I said, I have no problem with him writing a soap opera, or even living one. My complaint lies in the fact that it sits squarely in the advice section, when advice is clearly not what he wants.

An audience? Definitely.
Encouragement to continue on the path he's already chosen? You bet.
Actual advice? "Why you gotta be hating?"

Wrong forum for that.

Lex

 

[xtc99992003]

Then move it to a different place. I guess it has just become a discussion with some advice tacked on. So... move it someplace it's appropriate.

Maccabee-
I'm not saying I'm not confident. I'm just a little self conscious about parts of me. Everyone has parts of their body they don't like much. Mine is the stretch marks. I really do like being slim, but I'd still like to have some tone to my body.
As far as what we look like... We could easily be mistaken for brothers. When I'm around his younger brothers with people that don't really know us they are like "oh you must be the oldest one." I reply with "actually no... he's doing (whatever it is at that time). I'm not even related to them" People are generally amazed. I'm even called the fourth child by his mom haha. General appearance description... brown hair (his is darker). We're really about the same size (5'8" -ish) except he is buff. Ha. I've been told I look like Zac Efron... I don't think so really... But I'll take the compliment.

 

[xtc99992003]

So recently we've talked about jacking off in the same vicinity again. I told him my previous experiences of jacking off with other guys in the room (we never faced each other but we were like back to back or covered up) from when I was younger. And then I told him about my brother and his friends coming over and jacking off just out of sight from the rest of the group. So to me it really isn't that big of a deal except that initial first step of doing it.

But I said we should have a cum contest (either who can shoot the farthest or who can cum the most or maybe both). He was like no. I said well we wouldn't have to do it in the same room if thats the issue. We could just trade out of the room once one is done. (I then went on to describe what I said above to show it's not really that odd for guys to jack off around each other at least not for me since I've been around it a lot.)

So tonight I asked if he had jacked off with another guy. He said he didn't want to answer and I respect that since I told him in the past if he just doesn't want to share he doesn't have to and I will respect it. So I didn't press the issue. BUT... it does mean something has happened along the lines of jacking off with a guy before...

I really do think he is afraid of his feelings. Regardless of what everyone else thinks.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You're trying too hard. He's not worth all this pain and energy. He doesn't want to do it. Sure, he might have "feelings," but that doesn't mean he wants to act on them with you. Ever.

He doesn't want to. You've gone way beyond what is expected of you. All of us agree you've tried your best and now it is time to accept the limitations to his heterosexuality and move on.

 

[p700granat]

You should learn to respect boundaries. If your friend said no, then it's no. Imagine what would you feel if a female friend (or a male you're not attracted to) insists on playing sexual games with you despite your repeated protests. I know I would no longer consider him/her a friend. And from reading your posts your friend is obviously straight.

 

[xtc99992003]

You should learn to respect boundaries. If your friend said no, then it's no. Imagine what would you feel if a female friend (or a male you're not attracted to) insists on playing sexual games with you despite your repeated protests. I know I would no longer consider him/her a friend. And from reading your posts your friend is obviously straight.

Are you kidding? I have respected his boundaries. If he says stop talking about it or he doesn't want to I do. There was one time I did get a little pissed at him and pressed way too hard on one subject but he does the same stuff to me.

And no I'm not necessarily doing this so I can jack off with him. If he's open to it sure. But I'm just talking about all sorts of stuff with him. Straight or gay oriented. You guys don't get every aspect of the conversations/all the conversations in general. It's I press constantly on us doing it. It's just conversation. Sure it may be semi-persuasive but I'm like that on everything. Look at all the opinions/options of something even if I don't personally believe in it just to see another side.