Dakotaken

[StlKj]

There's your problem. Rent boys walk into a bathroom to paint, and they only end up painting each other.


And not with paint.


Oh, and your lawyers? Puhleeze. Everyone knows California lawyers are just actors waiting for their big breaks. You might as well send toothless poodles after me.

Meanwhile, Elvatar is heating up the flea market, along with Dakotaken1 Wet. That one comes with a free 3.5 oz. bottle of lube.

 

[StlKj]

Hey, at the flea market you gotta give people incentives. As soon as Elvatar went on sale at my table, that bitch Lefty had bought a copy, made duplicates, and was selling them on the other side of the flea market.

No honor among thieves. Makes ya want to cut a bitch.

 

[Joshua_me]

I'm sure it sucked. A lot.

Why, yes !

"Sucked a lot" was part of the title !

 

[StlKj]

OMFG!!!!!!!!! You two are fucking insane!

Where's my bed? If I'm not replying, I'm sleeping.

And clutching whatever is left of my dignity

He's not just insane, he's also a slut.

Haven't you ever seen the 8mm reel of him getting gangbanged by U2? Why do you think he's called Joshua_Me?

 

[Lefty]

Assholes...the man calls me a bitch

and you, my alleged friends and closer than my real family family.

don't even have my back...i bleed, I bleed..

The years I have slaved, toiled and suffered to be a full fledged bastard..

ruined...destroyed ..decimated when some lying puke calls me a bitch and

accuse me of selling his cheap knock offs at the bedbug market...Hell, I couldn't give them away as door prizes at the grand opening of my latest epic (SRO in the Lincoln bedroom by the way.) Avatar eats Elvin is a winner top to bottom and all I get is disloyalty and disrespect.

 

[StlKj]

Assholes...the man calls me a bitch

and you, my alleged friends and closer than my real family family.

don't even have my back...i bleed, I bleed..

The years I have slaved, toiled and suffered to be a full fledged bastard..

ruined...destroyed ..decimated when some lying puke calls me a bitch and

accuse me of selling his cheap knock offs at the bedbug market...Hell, I couldn't give them away as door prizes at the grand opening of my latest epic (SRO in the Lincoln bedroom by the way.) Avatar eats Elvin is a winner top to bottom and all I get is disloyalty and disrespect.

Oh, please, you whore. My employees caught you using my DVD-ripper when we got back from Popeye's for lunch. Just because I was over at the Prada knock-off booth picking up a hand-bag for my old lady doesn't mean my crew isn't watching out for me.

 

[Lefty]

I am not a whore.At the rates I charge Stud Male Courtesan maybe, whore never.

And I have to laugh, you bought that cheap knock of bag from MOEMOES discount dyke and trike Accessories Annex...for YOURSELF..You are the girlfriend you could never have...no one else could live down to your standards.

Get used to shoplifting at the discount stores slut because you are fired. I will be hiring a new President of Distribution on Tuesday next.

 

[StlKj]

I am not a whore.At the rates I charge Stud Male Courtesan maybe, whore never.

And I have to laugh, you bought that cheap knock of bag from MOEMOES discount dyke and trike Accessories Annex...for YOURSELF..You are the girlfriend you could never have...no one else could live down to your standards.

That is a bold-faced lie. I do too have a girlfriend; she just lives in another state and she doesn't like me giving out her pictures.

And don't knock MOEMOES--best Prada knock-offs in the county, you hoosier. I saw you sewing Dolchay and Cabanna tags into your purses.

 

[Jayden]

 

[StlKj]

Her name isn't Alberta who lives in Vancouver by any chance is it. You know, looks like your mother and sucks like a hoover? There was a song about it.

Um, she's a good Christian girl, so of course we don't have premarital sex. That's why the frigid thing gets fake Prada.

And I don't think she looks like my mother. The people at the orphanage gave me one of Mom's pictures before they kicked me out at age 16 for huffing glue with the Art teacher. Thankfully, I still have Mom's picture--I hope to find her some day...

She apparently was a gun-runner and dropped me off during a cross-country chase. At least, that's what the nun told me while we were glue sniffing.

 

[StlKj]

I seem to remember seeing her naked in a movie.

Oh God, did she fuck Elvin too?

 

[Lefty]

Hush now raven. The twit doesn't need to know his mom was a jr fluffer for you and a standin in on some of my early flicks,, and for Gods sake don't explain about that photo shopping (or whatever the nerds call it)done to that treasured photo of his.

Imagine when he finds out Shepard is his bio daddy...I almost feel sorry for the litte tranny scumbag.. I mean his nothers brother smALLMAN won't even acknowlege him...whoa, that might be a blessing...you think?

 

[StlKj]

Nope, not everyone.

And I must be one of the few JUBbers who'd like nothing more than to just have a drink with the JUBber in question. No lust, no crush, no fantasy.

I've actually done that. I recommend it highly.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

Good Grief - i miss a 1/2 day and look what happens...

1.. welcome back dakota !!

2. Where's Forrest Gump when you need him..

3. "That's not what you said last night" -- <<<this can be attached to ANY/ALL of the posts above.... i think.... nevermind.

 

[Lefty]

Mr. Canadian Pianoman...tickler of the northern hemispheres ivories...

This Elvin thing, is the eat and assist come first or after the meet to assess?

Hey, I''m not prying, just a little OCD about schedules and itineraries is all,

and that is all?

 

[StlKj]

I highly recommend having a drink with Killjoke. Tall, dark, handsome and a great listener, great company, makes you feel like you've known him for years, a great conversationalist and very intelligent. It was a pleasure meeting him. I know I will sit down and have a drink with him again soon.

See, another reason why you should one day have a drink with Elvin.


He's such a good judge of character.





Thank you, Babe. Those were tremendous things to say. I love you.

 

[Lefty]

Either that or a sexy eyed, hairy chested slender bit of a bald faced lying slut

Oh shit...what a problem these options create.

Does one drink with him or drink of him or just offer hips, tap and spigot for free?

 

[Lefty]

Elvin...the eat (oral) assist (sexual activity) were plays on the tinklers

statement that one of his goals and desires was to meet (get to know you)

and assess (evaluate your personality/looks/the total package) on a personal

basis.

Do you think maybe I'm too peripheral in my humour attempts sometimes...or

...just Outta My Fucking Mind and my tree?

(fyi It may be hard for a lot of jubbers to believe but I am not completely idiot savant)

 

[Lefty]

We interrupt this vital program with an urgent news flash...

FooFoo Faux Faux TVnews magazine just released an interview with the purported girl friend of the well known pervert and boner vivant Killjoke....
and we quote...

I am a long term pro active member of the leg-islature here in the gloria- us state of Denial. Amidst the many rumours and bald faced lies being scattered so serendipitously and scatalogically about my virgin self being associated with that in bred non breeder. There is no truth there in. He is lucky to have the tremors cause even his hand don't expect a fair shake with that dick.

Wow. I am sure that you, like me, an unbiased observer of human nature, can scarcely wait for the next chapter of this almost surreal soap opera to unfold...

Our investigative journalists have located the "KILLER" to the hills of Dakota where he and Sir Elvin are allegedly hunting birds or wild sheep.

Update at 11.

 

[StlKj]

Dude, please. I think it's fairly obvious what happened--the vindictive bitch found out about the fake Louis Vuitton Tivoli GM I gave her for Christmas.

Oh well, no biggie. I was planning on breaking it off anyway. She was too clingy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think Elvin's trapped an elk between a tree and his Subaru, so I have to go help.