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Dealing with homophobia in America

JayQueer

JayQueer

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I would appreciate some input about how other gay people deal with homophobia and gay bashing. One of the biggest things that freaks me out about being gay is having to face discrimination, hatred, and possibly even violence.

How do you deal with face-to-face gay-bashing & violence? Let's say that you are walking somewhere by yourself, and some men yell out "f*cking f@ggot!" What should you do then? What should you do if some guys start beating you, yelling out, "Die f@ggot," or "Burn in hell, you f@g!" ?

How do you cope with more subtle forms of homophobia at the workplace or in the local community? How open are you about your sexual orientation at work? Regardless of whether you are 'out' or not at work, how do you respond if you overhear your colleagues making "gay jokes" about you?

In your local community (especially if you're from a more traditional, suburban area), how do you deal with homophobia, gay-bashing, or perhaps vandalism committed by your neighbors?
 
Your fear is unfounded.

Its like asking, how do you deal with it if someone suddenly shoot you on the street ? :?
 
One day at a time. Some days will be better than other days.

Sometimes........when it really really hurting.......one second at a time.
 
At my university, there seems to be a generous amount of acceptance towards the gay community. I've seen very femine dudes be friends with masculine straight guys. I think it also has to do with the masculine men being comfortable within their sexuality.
 
I worry about this, too. I'm not out at all yet...to anyone, so I'm unsure how anybody would take it. But there's people out there that are horribly discriminatory against gays.
 
It's not as bad as people assume it is. Like the worst I've had is being called a queer and a fag, when I wasn't even out. Homophobia is going down in the drain lately, it may seem horrible and you might think that you're going to deal with homophobics all the time, but I sometimes wonder why I was ever scared to come out?
 
Guess it depends on where you live. I seldom see or hear any of that stuff but I also live in one of the biggest gay populated states in the nation.
 
I haven't experienced a whole lot of homophobia since coming out. I've walked around holding hands with guys down the street, and yeah, I've heard "Look at those faggots" but, that's not my problem, it's the problem of the person who said it.

One time I was out with my boyfriend, and this guy was there, with a bunch of friends (mixed guys and girls). He was definitely high school aged. He goes "Let me guess, are you gay?" I simply turned around and said "Why, are you flirting?"

You can't let it bother you. It's not your problem if someone else has a problem with it.

It's easy for a "gay basher" to get in front of a news camera, or behind a keyboard and spew hate.... but they won't get in your face about it because then they're facing an actual conversation about the topic, and they won't have pre-scripted notecards to run off of.... you can't let other people's insecurities or ignorance impact your decisions and your life.
 
I live in suburban VA in a conservative small town, I haven't received much backlash, although I'm more flamboyant than normal men.
 
bhandsome said:
At my university, there seems to be a generous amount of acceptance towards the gay community. I've seen very femine dudes be friends with masculine straight guys. I think it also has to do with the masculine men being comfortable within their sexuality.
Click to expand...


Real life isn't a liberal college campus, though.


In many towns, cities, bars, restaurants, parks, etc etc. . .gay people can be harassed, denied service, have the police called on them or even be attacked just for holding hands, or even for just being obviously gay. It's even worse if you live in a small town in the South.
 
I was gay bashed once with a swipe of a metal pipe to the back of my knees. Later when I was out and was called faggot I'd reply with, "thanks, I know."

In the US anyone in danger should call 911.

Thank god it's becoming more and more politically incorrect to exhibit signs of homophobia.

This thread is better suited for hot topics so I'm moving it there.
 
GhostMost said:
It's not as bad as people assume it is. Like the worst I've had is being called a queer and a fag, when I wasn't even out. Homophobia is going down in the drain lately, it may seem horrible and you might think that you're going to deal with homophobics all the time, but I sometimes wonder why I was ever scared to come out?
Click to expand...

UM lets see , oh yeah all those GAY murders that not make you wonder ? :(
 
From the outside, it looks like what you do is leave the U.S. and take your talents and tax dollars to a country and culture that is going to treat you like a human being.

Evidently, this isn't the whole story, or likely even prevalent, but given what the rest of the world is presented with through media (The F.R.C, culturally entrenched fundamentalist religious homophobia, Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Anne Coulter, Fox News etc) this is the impression created.

There is a wider cultural issue here: Those who define themselves as considered conservatives in U.S. culture need to stand the fuck up and stop out and out lunatics speaking on their behalf. IF they don't, then the term "conservative" is going to become synonymous with bigotry, anti-intellectualism and cultural retardation (assuming that hasn't already happened in U.S. culture already).

If any politician, whether they considered themselves as conservative or not, made half the statements concerning homosexuals (not to mention evolution, science, education etc) that U.S. politicians seem to make on a daily basis here in the U.K., they wouldn't have a career the next morning. Vile, self serving, corrupt as our politicians are (and they are), they are at least politicians who deal with genuine political issues rather than ideological demagogues.
 
Dolmance said:
There is a wider cultural issue here: Those who define themselves as considered conservatives in U.S. culture need to stand the fuck up and stop out and out lunatics speaking on their behalf. IF they don't, then the term "conservative" is going to become synonymous with bigotry, anti-intellectualism and cultural retardation (assuming that hasn't already happened in U.S. culture already).
Click to expand...
It really already is.

Very well said.
I've said the same about religion and Christianity. Just substitute that with 'conservative'. Why they don't speak up...I don't get. Why so silent? It's not helping you or the image of your faith when the crazies are the only ones that are heard. And they wonder why so many are judgmental...and then why they get so defensive...
 
Most homophobia is casual jibing. Like it was at school for me. Not that the bully actually THOUGHT the targeted person was, he was just trying to ostracise/isolate him.

If it's a widespread problem in your local area, only real solution would be to move to a more socially liberal one.
 
JayQueer said:
I would appreciate some input about how other gay people deal with homophobia and gay bashing. One of the biggest things that freaks me out about being gay is having to face discrimination, hatred, and possibly even violence.

How do you deal with face-to-face gay-bashing & violence? Let's say that you are walking somewhere by yourself, and some men yell out "f*cking f@ggot!" What should you do then? What should you do if some guys start beating you, yelling out, "Die f@ggot," or "Burn in hell, you f@g!" ?

How do you cope with more subtle forms of homophobia at the workplace or in the local community? How open are you about your sexual orientation at work? Regardless of whether you are 'out' or not at work, how do you respond if you overhear your colleagues making "gay jokes" about you?

In your local community (especially if you're from a more traditional, suburban area), how do you deal with homophobia, gay-bashing, or perhaps vandalism committed by your neighbors?
Click to expand...

male cultures ans theres a list of phobias ans stuff?

well

:-)
 
Dealing with homophobia in America? The answer is so obvious: vote Republican! (!)
 
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