depression

[Andreus]

been in a bad place for weeks

very detatched and depressed

my boss even noticed and sugested i see one of the counsellors at the hospital

sleep is imposible

waking up
i watch another sun go down
another day spent underground
in my world of pills, yeah
and i was thinking how the world should have cried
on the day jack kirby died
i wonder if i'm ill, yeah
i'll never trust myself again
but i don't care, no
just set that plastic soul on fire
and watch it melt
life is good, a rocket sled utopia
a self-imposed my opia
you gotta love this place
life is fast, a million winners everyday
you tell me, is this work or play?
i'm never really sure, yeah
i'll never trust myself again
but i don't care
well just set that plastic soul on fire
and watch it melt
yeah yeah yeah
well i'm alive, now you watch me go
a tickle inside my brain
where it comes from i don't know
but i'm laughin' in the flames
it's just the look in your eyes
i feel like i can fly
and then sometimes i dig it so much...
i could die
i'll never make no mortal place
cause i don't care
just set that plastic world on fire
and watch it melt, yeah
well i'm alive, now you watch me go
a tickle inside my brain
where it comes from i don't know
but i'm laughin' in the flames
it's just the look in your eyes
i feel like i can fly
and then sometimes i dig it so much i could die
​

 

[metta]

​

I go through a little depression from the loss of my best friend every day. And there are many times that I see the World just keep going on like nothing has changed. I guess it really has not for them. To me, everything changed. Nothing is the same. And it is not as fulfilling as it once was.

It is like there is like a big hole in my life that goes everywhere I go. And the feeling is even stronger during the holiday season. It is a really strange feeling. I wish that I did not feel that way but I do.

Are you going to go to counseling? Maybe it will help. It is probably worth trying.

I wish you contentment, health, and joy!

 

[Sausy]

Don't know what to say but I hope you can talk to a professional and get yourself back on track.i know from family experience what depression can do to someone,how hopeless and lonely one can feel.But you are not alone...we are here for you,but take your employer's recommendation and get the appropriate treatment before depression takes over your life...I've seen it,as I referred,in my family...and I don't like to see anyone having to go through that pain.My thoughts,prayers,and support go your way,Dreu.

 

[justsimon]

I'm sorry to hear that, Andreus. I hope your feeling better soon. Here's a big sloppy kiss...

 

[Yuki Sohma]

Hope you get feelin' better soon...................

 

[shea]

Sorry to hear that you are having a problem with depression.
It affects people in different ways for different reasons. It is
affecting me due to some really heavy changes in my life.
I am medicating for it and I know it will pass eventually.
Whatever the reasons are for yours with a little help and
time it too will pass. I wish you well and many hugs.
Think positive. Shea

 

[GL]

It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess.
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on.
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.

Pinch Me
Pinch Me
Cos I'm still asleep.
Please God
Tell Me
That I'm still asleep

On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I packed a car and leave this town
Who'll notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.

It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door.

Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Try to figure out what all this is for.

Hang in there buddy. It will get better.

 

[Stryfe]

In the bigger picture of life, this is just a tiny phase.

This too shall pass.

Sad songs always make it easier to handle though.

 

[MidnightPrism]

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see

Bluebirds
Singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds
All day long

Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days
All of them gone
Nothing but blue skies
From now on

 

[Andreus]

thanks guys

i have dissociation issues anyway and as the christian holiday kicks in i just feel so removed and outside of the whole thing

there are other things weighing on my mind as well

mitri's visa still hasnt been extended

i have just gotten to know him

losing him will not be easy if he cant stay

money

work stress

health issues

i just want the world to stop for a few days so i can catch my breath

 

[ladygrey]

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now.

Believe it or not, I understand (read my blog, lol, I've been emo for weeks).

So I thought I'd write you a message that pretty much sums up the top ten things I think when I'm depressed.

So here goes:

Number one: What am I really feeling? I find it incredible hard to idenify why I feel the way I do. This is usually quite frustrating and annoying, kinda of like stumbling around in the dark without a light. But I find that if I stumble around enough, I uasully find something. Things like writing without editing, talking without editing, and just overall really thinking about how we are feeling can be very helpful. While this is a little doctor phil, try to take your emotions (however vague they are) and express them.

Number two: How can I stop this feeling? It's really not useful to try and stop the feeling. Chances are that any attempts to stop the feeling will result in a cycle of further disassocation or depression. Rather, focus on bringing those feelings to light. I persoanlly use very relaxing music to calm down, then I start to ask myself some very open ended questions like :How do you feel right now? What your most dominat emotion? What do you want/need?

number three: negative self talk. That a bad thing. Often people get frustrated with thier feelings and begin to berate themselves saying things like "get over it" and "you need to get better now". It does not help. Avoid focusing on the past or focusing on things have you can no longer control. Try and keep your thoughts on the present, through things like meditation or prayer.

number four: dance. Start moving around, walk, go for a jog, dance through your house/apartment. But whatever you do, do it freely and completly. Allow yourself to channel emotion out into movement. It sounds really gay, but it can really help. I've seen people break down and cry while dancing.

number five: practice loving kindness. When I'm depressed, I like to do things like pray for every person I see. I also think about people I hold a lot of anger or shame towards and I state clearly that I fogive them. The best one is to hold a thought of love and peace for yourself.

number six: music. Find some great music that is relaxing or calming, and listen to it while thinking. Focus on the words and the musical rythms. It can be a great way to tap emotion.

number seven: empower. Do things that make you feel empowered, like wear a sexy dress, cook a great meal, read an awesome book, or do like I do and skip everywhere. It earns you looks, but it really helps with the mood thingy.

number eight: read about or talk to other people who are expericing these same feelings. Like you're doing here.

number nine: Remember. Remember that life cannot change you, that you are able to be free always, and remember that we all need periods of lowness to inspire greatness. It is often when we feel hurt that healing begins to occur. As the flower sleeps at night to gather strength for the dawn, so do we.

number ten: be loved. Allow yourself to feel the love others have for you, the love you have for yourself, and the love the univerise and God/Goddess has for you. See love in all things.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Sausy]

Very nice thoughts that definitely can help get one centered and help get through the tough days,Ladygrey!

 

[Riverrick]

Very nice list Ladygrey. I rarely agree with lists of things to do when you are depressed but I really like yours.

Andreus, I've noticed your absence around here lately. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling depressed. Please keep posting about it and talking to us. Get out whatever you can. I find that nothing quite works like letting my feelings out and being understood.

 

[Joshua_me]

Right now I'm down on being single - It coincides with the Christmas season because all my friends are leaving to go home or visit relatives for a few weeks.

All alone.

Much LOVE, boys.

This is the season that emphisizes how alone we can feel...

But.

Let's NOT 'go there'.

We have friends, we have family, we know of people that are FAR worse
off than we are....

(((Gather 'Round)))

Joshua

 

[dkonfrost]

(just warm quiet hugs, none of my yakking for a change)

 

[Centexfarmer]

Hey Andreus!

The only thing that I would ad to Ladygrey's list is this reminder:

Depression is ANGER without enthusiasm.

We all know how enthusiastic you can be.

So don't let depression detract from what your enthusiastic about.

Change what you can, and accept what you can't.


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[Croynan]

in this case i have decided against a public posting.

i am not sure how long u.s. mail takes to get to an un-known person's name, and their un-known address. i would guess by monday or tuesday at the latest. watch the mails.

eM.

 

[luminum]

I felt like this most of last winter and summer after the end of my first relationship. I would go home and sleep after I got out of class and I'd barely do mys choolwork. My fencing faltered because I was so apathetic to everythign and everyone. I just felt hurt a lot of the time and I felt like there wasn't much point in doing anything or caring about anyone.

I didn't feel like talking to friends and I couldn't talk to family. I tried hanging out with friends, but I'd still feel depressed inside.

So I rolled with it. I accepted how I felt when most people would hate themselves for feeling this way. As far as I was concerned, I was allowed ot feel this way and I would until its time would pass.

And it did. After time, I finally realized that I no longer had any baggage that I once carried and that I was keeping me down. I had made it out so that depression wasn't affecting me anymore and only I was. So I could deal with me now that eveyrhting else had run its course.

So just roll with the feelings. Accept them and allow them to runt heir course. If doing things that people tell you will jolt you into cheering up still feel like things you don't want to do, don't do them. Enjoy what you will (even I had brief periods of short joy) and do the enjoyable thigns you want, but don't force yourself to be happy or fake happiness. That just makes it all worse, IMO.

 

[NickCole]

been in a bad place for weeks

very detatched and depressed

my boss even noticed and sugested i see one of the counsellors at the hospital

sleep is imposible

Me too.

I envy people who sleep through depression!

People who listen and counsel can be very helpful. And remember that professionals are not the only ones available.

 

[RRRalph]

Hope you feel better soon!