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Dirty unwashed ass

-So what are you studying in Maths at the moment Josh?

-The law of inversely proportional!

-Can you give me an example

-Sure mate!

The pristine state of my track suit and trainers is inversely proportional to the state of my skanky shitty arsehole!

If you don't believe me you're welcome to check it out for yourself but it'll cost you!
 

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21 year old Cardiff City footballer Will Fish from Manchester is wearing a big smile because right behind him on the steps to the aeroplane is the Invisible Man with his nose wedged up Will's arsecrack!

The Invisible Man thinks that all his Christmases have cum at once 'cos Will didn't have time to shower this morning!
 

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Wouldn't mind grabbing those white briefs off the changing room floor when he hits the showers!

One whiff of the seat of those little babies wedged up his arse for ninety minutes would be enough to clear anyone's hangover after a heavy night!
 

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How about 23 year old Dutchman MICKY VAN DE VENN who plays for Spurs!?

He has earned the nickname of STICKY MICKY ( at least with me!) cos I can imagine his tighty whities being virtually cemented to the cheeks of his arse after ninety minutes on the field!
 

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Have you ever imagined what it must be like when a lorryload of illegal immigrants arrive from eastern Europe and it's your job to open the back of the lorry after five days............the smell of unwashed arsewould be overwhelming!!!!

So just imagine this eighteen year old boy......and you have the job of getting him cleaned up before he gets put to work in a factory!!!!!!

Are you just going to hand him the shower gel and tell him to rub well between the cheeks of his arse or are you going to take the worst off with your tongue before you let him near any water!!!!!?
 

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How about 21 year old JACK.MILNE from Aberdeen here being interviewed at a press conference?

The trouble is that Jack can't sit still and the interviewer is getting increasingly turned on by the fact that Jack appears to be grinding his filthy dirty smelly shitter into the fabric of the seat!

The conference ends and Jack leaves the room followed by everyone else

The interviewer leaps up,locks the door and falls to his knees in front of that chair running his nose along the fabric of the seat hoovering up that combination of funk skank and sweat that constitutes the arsehole of Jack Milne.

He unzips his trousers, takes out his cock as the thought of Jack's shitty unwashed arsehole transports him to paradise
 

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Now you know why everyone wants to teach in a Sixth Form College!

Just waiting for the day that little beauties like this one reach the age of 18 and you can take them behind the bicycle sheds, take their cherries and make men of them!!!!!!

Sniff dat sweet little shitter!!!!!
 

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I've never seen anything like this in my local river! The only thing I've ever caught has been an old boot and a shopping trolley!
 

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Those underpants are way too clean

Daddy likes a boy who know-how to stripe the seat of his undies!
 

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It's always gratifying to know that even Superheroes don't clean their arses properly after a dump!

Wish that arse belonged to Toby Maguire! He was my favourite Spidey!
 

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If any of you are wondering why mosques are jam packed on a Friday while many of our churches are empty on Sunday mornings you might find the answer here:
 

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I'm studying art at Sixth Form College and in a tutorial with my teacher the other day the subject was colour coordination!

We were having a game of "rhyming" and his first effort was "red and green should never be seen!"

He was surprised when I immediately countered with:

"Brown and white is always right!"

He looked slightly bemused so I undid the belt of my trousers, let them fall to the ground, stepped out of them , performed a similar operation with my tighty whitey Calvin's and handed them to him!

With a smirk on his face he turned them inside out to reveal the mother of all skidmarks!

No words passed between us and the rest is history except to say:

My back door is now red raw and very sore!
 

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"Men don't make passes
At guys that wear glasses
Unless they have
Incredibly dirty arses"

In my experience the really nerdy-looking guys like this one bang like a shithouse door during Hurricane Milton!
 

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-I'm not sure about this!

I've never had my arse sniffed by a guy before!

-Well you know what the bloke selling the Big Issue was saying in that shop doorway

"Don't be shy! Give it a try!"

-I know but I didn't have time to have a shower this morning so it might be a bit smelly down there!

-The smellier the better! Why do you think God gave me a tongue! To get into all those little nooks and crannies that soap and flannels can't reach!
 

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This guy is filth personified......the scum of the earth......but if he's got an arse like this do you really care whether he can discuss Einstein's theory of relativity!?
 

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I have a great relationship with my son and whenever he asks if a friend can sleep over I always say yes!

I even wait up for them if they've been out partying and hand them a mug of bedtime hot chocolate before they retire!

I also put a little extra something in their cocoa to make them sleep very soyndky!

After all I don't want my son's friend waking up in the middle of the night and finding that I've got my nose wedged between the cheeks of his arse!
 

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I have a great relationship with my son and whenever he asks if a friend can sleep over I always say yes!

I even wait up for them if they've been out partying and hand them a mug of bedtime hot chocolate before they retire!

I also put a little extra something in their cocoa to make them sleep very soyndky!

After all I don't want my son's friend waking up in the middle of the night and finding that I've got my nose wedged between the cheeks of his arse!
MMMM , you never know he might like it , l know l would 🍑🍩👃👃👃😍
 
-This is highly irregular Sir! As plumbers we simply fix the problem for our customers!

We don't test it out and model it!

What are you doing Sir!?.......OMG.....he's got my socks and underpants and now he's sniffing my underpants and my socks........and I can't get to my phone!
 

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-This is highly irregular Sir! As plumbers we simply fix the problem for our customers!

We don't test it out and model it!

What are you doing Sir!?.......OMG.....he's got my socks and underpants and now he's sniffing my underpants and my socks........and I can't get to my phone!
MMMM , forget about his socks and underwear , I'd love to spread those gorgeous cheeks and sniff and taste his delicious brown button babe 🍑🍩👃👃👃😋
 
-This is highly irregular Sir! As plumbers we simply fix the problem for our customers!

We don't test it out and model it!

What are you doing Sir!?.......OMG.....he's got my socks and underpants and now he's sniffing my underpants and my socks........and I can't get to my phone!
MMMM , forget about his socks and underwear , I'd love to spread those gorgeous cheeks and sniff and taste his delicious brown button babe 🍑🍩👃👃👃😋
 
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