Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

Hey Kai you're a married man now and rump steak with brown sauce is now strictly off limits!

You are henceforth relegated to a diet of fish!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

BREAKING NEWS......or should I say BREAKING WIND!?

It's just been announced that 48 year old Dutchman RUUD VAN NISTELROOY is to replace Erik as Man Utd coach!

Can't wait to see Nistelrooy's lovely tight arse on display at Old Trafford once again! I've wanked over his buns so much-i bet that pucker smells better than any Gouda cheese!

All we need now is to bring in his 41 year old compatriot ROBIN VAN PERSIE as assistant coach!

Not sure about TULIPS FROM AMSTERDAM but perfectly certain about TWO (COCK) TIPS FROM AMSTERDAM!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Go on Cole I dare you. This is the best chance you've got to run your nose and tongue along the shitters of your teammates like a fucking xylophone!

Tell us which one is the smelliest!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've never said no to my son's best friend doing a sleepover at our place!

It's a small house so he has to sleep on the sofa in the lounge!

He always sleeps in just his birthday suit and my wife and son upstairs are oblivious to the groans and moans from the pair of us downstairs!

That sofa could really tell a story.......

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Why can I never find the Nutella when I want it!?

-Well from where I'm standing there seems to be no absence of it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

A Pharisee and a tax collector went to the temple to make their devotions to the Lord!

The Pharisee began pointing to the tax collector:

-Thank you Lord that I am not a sinner like this man!

The tax collector weeped and wailed:

-Oh Lord I'm just a miserable sinner! Have mercy on me!

We all know which one went home justified by God!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Gotcha yer little bastard!

I'll teach you to trespass on my property!

-All right mate! don't shoot!.I'll come clean!

-Clean!? That's the last thing your shit-stained arse is!I

I'm not normally a great chocolate lover but...........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Some of us like our man to leave his signature in the seat of his underpants and some of us like that pucker hole to be pristine clean!

If you go on a first date with a guy, ease down his jeans as a prelude to giving him the best rim.job he's ever experienced and you are met with the sight of these underpants then "forewarned is forearmed!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Ok lads! Thanks for coming along today to take this challenge to see who has the "richest human resources!"

We're going to start off by milking those beautiful udders then we'll get you to drop your Calvin's to see which pair of bollocks can produce the finest cream!

After that we'll slide our tongues up your shitters to see who has the finest quality chocolate.

Hope you didn't wipe away the evidence after your morning dump!

Don't forget that you are being well paid for this to boost your student grant so even if you don't like being licked and tongued in all those intimate places try to keep those cheesy grins as wide as possible!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

29 year old French footballer ADRIEN RABIOT!

Just look at the waistband of his undies!

PULLIN or PULL IN?

Is he inviting people to "pull in" to his eating house!?

There's nothing finer than a back door diner!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The increasing number of refugees from other countries without adequate English language skills has meant that ESOL (English as a Second language) teaching has become a growth industry!

The government is keen to get them into work as soon as possible

Being in the industry myself I maintain that students learn most quickly using fun word games like Scrabble!

They learn phrases and sentences and then put into action the message on the board! ( Please see today's message!)

I advocate the practical method of teaching!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

MONOPOLY is another game aimed specifically at the potential entrepreneur although some phrases are not always immediately comprehensible and clarification may be required witness:

COMMUNITY CHEST- everybody has access to your chest so get your tits out and let's milk those udders!I

FREE PARKING- We all get to stick our cocks up your arse and leave them there for as long as possible without fear of being fined!

WHEN YOU PASS GO COLLECT TWO HUNDRED POUNDS!-The word pound is a monetary term but not in this case! It just means that we get to thrust our member between your buns two hundred times in one go!

By the way would anyone like to see a picture of Faisal!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Who cares whether he's got a button mushroom to piss out of!

Just look at those buns boys and to think i had a good sniff of his sweaty shit- stained Calvin's while he was in the shower and a whole hour of watching his smelly arse during his gym workout!

Then the icing on the cake was when he agreed to do a photo shoot to promote my gym!!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Yep! A whole two hours to run my nose along the brown stripes on the seat of your boxers and hyperventilate........and whatever follows on from that!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So do you think this fetish for nude cycling will take off!?

-Well it's certainly generated a lot of interested in the local community!

We just came out of the Metro Tesco to find some chavvy builders from the local building site sniffing our bicycle seats!

Like flies round a honeypot they were tugging at their cocks and nodding in the direction of their white van!

They were keen to sample the delights of our chocolate dispensers but we were on a tight schedule.........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Licking the shit out of an 18 year old's arsehole......priceless!

For everything else there's MasterCard!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you go down to the woods today you'll never believe your eyes

If you go down to the woods today you'd better go in disguise

'Cos every chav that ever there was is gathered there for certain because

Today's the day that cheeky chavs bare their arseholes!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I bet David Livingstone never came across anything like this when he was exploring darkest Africa!

What a treasure!

Just need to get him on his back so I can sniff his feet as I slide into that sweet river of brown sauce!

Livingstone may have discovered the source of the Nile but I bet he never discovered the source of pleasure

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If only we could see the view from the back!

I'll take that big bastard on the left!

He looks as if he's unlikely to put up any resistance with that dodgy foot of his!

He's such a horny looking fucker!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sorry son that hole is way too clean!

If you want to work for this agency you have to remember that out punters have all stipulated that they want escorts with dirty smelly holes and skids that look like marmite on white bread!

You've got your first customer in twenty minutes so you've just got time to take a dump and don't be over enthusiastic when it comes to wiping your arse!