Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

-So the pink bits on the world map are where Britain has influence today although 150 years ago two thirds of the globe were pink!

-So what about the brown bits Sir!?

-Oh that's where the Art master Mr .Jones fucked the shit out of me! We laid this map on the Art room floor to rest on whomever we were getting down and dirty!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Is it Cadburys Dairy Milk or Galaxy!?

-Tastes more like Cadbury's Whole Nut to me!

-That's probably 'cos he eats more nuts than a squirrel!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Separated from your boyfriend this Christmas!? Don't let distance be an obstacle!

The major underwear manufacturers like Calvin Klein, Sloggis and Haynes have jumped on the Selection Box bandwagon so not only can you send your loved one a selection box of chocolate but also a selection box of your unwashed underwear!I

Beautiful gifts you'll want to.keep!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Jack Jack flat on your back
Just open your legs and we'll sniff your crack!

You've stabbed Sasha's cunt
Till your penis is blunt
And her pussy is full of your swimmers!

Now pull back your cheeks
Show your shitter that reeks
And prepare to be tongue-fucked by rimmers!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When players come off the pitch after a gruelling ninety minutes and step out of their shorts and undies before heading to the showers have you ever wondered which nation's players leaves more skids per square inch in their Calvins!?

I have come to the conclusion that it must be Latvia because it is the only flag in the world that has two big brown stripes on it to reflect the state of the underpants of their male population!

Here's a selection of players from the Latvian national football team so I'll leave you to decide whose skidmarks you'd like to sniff!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Respectable sweat stains Jack but I'm more interested in what sort of deposit you've made on the seat of those little grey babies!

"JACK AND THE SKIDMARKS!"

Great name for a pop group!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

We are now firmly in the
season.of the Holy Trinity but there is nothing holy about this little trinity!

I can smell their feet from here!

Go on boys! Bend over and treat us all to a 6 BUN salute!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The day that my new houseboy started work coincided with being the hottest day on record so I simply switched on my heating full blast and it wasn't long before he asked whether he could carry on with his domestic duties in just his underwear!

Being the considerate employer that I am I didn't have the heart to refuse his request!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

BABY JACK GREALISH AND GIRLFRIEND!I

( Adapted from the children's nursery rhyme LITTLE JACK HORNER!)

Little Jack Horny
Was watching a porny
Eating his girlfriend's cunt!
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a plum and said:

Hang on a minute!
I'm supposed to be taking your cherry, not your plum!

It's the wrong bloody fruit and this constitutes a contravention of the Trades Descriptions act!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The manager had had serious reservations about signing up this new player believing that he might be a bit of a handful!

His teammates and members of opposition teams lost no time in proving the manager right!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I'm not surprised you Kurdish barbers are getting the monopoly of the hairdressing trade if you're willing to shave the punters' pucker holes!

You're not gonna stick that red hot taper up my arse like you poked in.my ear are you!?

-Oh no Sir I've got something much hotter to stick in your pucker hole!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

It's so much more interesting to do these English lessons out in the fresh air rather than using a boring old textbook in a stuffy classroom!

So a good example of the positive- comparative and superlative might be:

BIG-BIGGER-THE BIGGEST!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I've played "Guess the weight of the cake" at our village fete but this is the first time I've played "Guess the weight of the cock!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Hey Santa thanks for cumming DOWN my chimney and emptying your sack!

Now I'm going to return the favour by cumming up your arse and emptying my ball sack!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I always prefer to eat "al fresco" but I normally like a bit more brown sauce between my baps so could you oblige me next time you offer me lunch! "

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I always prefer to eat "al fresco" but I normally like a bit more brown sauce between my naps so could you oblige me next time you offer me lunch! "

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Not sure whether this is an advert for hot cross buns or whether it's "X marks the spot" for guys with a bad sense of direction!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"IT'S BEHIND YOU!"

Well it is the pantomime season after all!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Fast food chain UBER EATS are conducting a Christmas promotion:

"All you can eat for a fiver!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

No wonder the look-outs on the Titanic took their time sounding the alarm!

Mesmerized or what!?