Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

What a sweet HEART!

That's certainly one little DIAMOND whose CLUB I'd like to.join and no prizes for guessing where I'd like to stick the handle of my SPADE!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Tiger tiger burning bright!

You can lick my nuts but don't you bite!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Were looking for somebody with a decent sized todger to make the holes in our doughnuts!

Will that thing get any bigger!?

-If I get stimulated sufficiently it gets big enough to hang a towel on!

-OK it looks as if I'm going to spend all day with my hand up your arse to keep that baby hard!

You're hired!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-How long is this going to take!? I only came to read the meter!

-Just a few more squats on my face and I'll call the rottweiler off!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When you're licking the shit out of a chav's arse I don't think that one brand of chocolate necessarily wins out over another!

I'm all in favour of mix and match!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Hey babe this is a real nightmare situation!

The guy I've been putting this new shower in for has been perving over my arse all day and I caught him having a sniff when he thought I wasn't looking!

I can't afford to say anything because he's gonna pay me cash which will pay for the kids' Christmas prezzies!

Now he's insisted that I try out the shower myself while he watches but I've kept my pants on!

Hope I get back to you soon!

Whatever I have to do to get out of this situation just remember that I love you!xxx

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I've been waiting for you to do this for ages!

Who needs mistletoe anyway!

Vastly overrated if you ask me!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Whatever happened to "mine is yours and yours is mine!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I love visiting India because I have an Indian cousin who lives in Jaipur!

Each time I go to India people say to me:

"Be careful what you eat cos you'll get the Delhi belly!"

The great thing is that my cousin is really sexy and likes to sit on my face and grind away with that that shitty arse of his!

While he's doing those wonderful face squats I'm screaming:

"Sod the Delhi belly! I've got a sexy smelly relli!

Give it some welly!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The good thing about getting a work experience boy to do your painting and decorating is that they cum very cheap!

They might not be able to get into every corner with their brush but you can give them a lesson they'll never forget!

Just pull their pants down while they're on the ladder, stick your todger up their arse and work it into all those difficult crevices before you spray paint their guts!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I'm always pleased when my personal trainer Max pitches up for my gym session but on this particular day I'd just had a new suite delivered and Max was rubbing his lovely arse into the fabric!

It was really embarrassing 'cos I had to ask him to move off the sofa in case he left any brown stains on it!

He simply smiled and said:

"Well you'd better cum and lick it clean for me with that chameleon tongue of yours!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Little Saiori from Japan had heard that in England the household guard at Buckingham Palace were so disciplined that they were not allowed to move a muscle whatever was being done to them!

So she decided to travel over and give them a hassle free blow job!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Josh was a sweet kid but wasn't the brightest card in the pack and he was pretty lazy and disorganised into the bargain!

However his employer was a big businessman who liked to have a drop dead gorgeous 19 year old as a PA even if he was fucking useless at the job!

His most exacting task was to make his boss a frothy latte first thing in the morning with chocolate sprinkles!

He couldn't even do that properly and often ran out of milk and powdered chocolate!

Give him his due though! He learned to be resourceful!

When the chips were down he'd just whip out his todger , jack off into the cup and then stick the cup up his arse to catch the chocolate sprinkles!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The best chavs are the ones that haven't got two brain cells to rub together!

You chat them up with a view to getting in their knickers but they're not having any of it and give you the V sign!

They don't realise that the V sign is made up of TWO fingers and not THREE!

Fucking twats!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you are going to allow Santa and his little helpers down your chimney then you had better be ready for them to run amok!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Even the head boy of a prestigious public school, trusted and feted by the headmaster may fall foul as did young Luke on the day of his 18th birthday when chaps from the best house in the school ergo Buggeringham House took him down to the village pub to "get slaughtered!"

The headmaster was going to make an example of Luke by caning him in front of the whole school but at the last minute decided to be merciful and administer punishment in the privacy of his study!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This photo really encapsulates my boss!

He basically has his head buried in his own arse but I wish it were my head up there!

He's an arrogant twat but so sexy!

He belittles.me in the office and calls me "brown nose!"

The truth of the matter is that I would proudly wear his shit on the end of my nose if he would only let me navigate my way up his brown river! !!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-You're really good at this Sir!

-Fucking the shit out of you you mean!?

Well before I went into teaching I was a plumber and became quite an expert at flushing all the deal out of radiators with a high powered hose!

What I'm doing to you is just one step up from that!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Paul Bond was the remedial English teacher at Saint George's College responsible for bringing the calibre of the A level students' English up to scratch for the exams!

He used to refer to the boys as "Cadbury's Dairy Milk" ergo "rich and thick!"

One of his techniques for vocabulary building was to use word games such as Scrabble to improve their lexis!

However even understanding the instructions for playing the game was sometimes behind the boys so Paul would often get them to make a sentence from the words on the board just like the one you see in the picture by way of example!

Of course there was an ulterior motive as you can see from the picture of Rob baring his buns!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Oooo Sir, that was such a vicious caning and my buns are really smarting with the pain!

Have you got any cream!?

-You walk into it every time you open your mouth Henniker-Jones!!