Do closet cases attract closet cases?

[Muscles4daze]

What are these characteristics? Are they stereotypical behaviors that some gay men have reinforced? Or are they physical characteristics that they possess which causes closet cases to question their sexuality?

1) If a guy is walking with his girlfriend and he has turned around to check out several guys within the last ten minutes, I would question that.

2) If a guy is overly homophobic, I would question that as well.

3) If a guy is approaching 25 and never had a girlfriend more than a month...you get the picture

 

[Willie Boy]

1) If a guy is walking with his girlfriend and he has turned around to check out several guys within the last ten minutes, I would question that.

2) If a guy is overly homophobic, I would question that as well.

3) If a guy is approaching 25 and never had a girlfriend more than a month...you get the picture

Just a bit of devil's advocate:

1) What if he was just checking out the women that were with the other guys, or maybe they were, unbeknonst to him, walking on a nude beach and he was wondering why these guys were walking naked but just couldn't build up the courage to ask.

2) This one is hard to argue about, but here's a try: The guy was maybe molested by men as a child.

3) Maybe he is just extremely shy or overly picky. Or maybe he's just an asshole, expecting women to be nothing more than humble servants to fulfill his every desire, causing them to dump him.

As you can see, there can be other reasons for just about anything. You can't judge someone based on assumptions. Your assumptions may be right in some instances, but are more often incorrect. Just let people be who they are and stop trying to put them in a box so they can be easily labeled. Accept them for them, not what you want them to be.

Although this post was in response to the one quoted, it isn't meant for any specific individual. Just a bit of wisdom that hopefully we all remember when we deal with others. This world is full of many individuals and we should try to accept them as they are, just as we want them to accept us.

 

[G-Lexington]

Let's pretend that we made a list of absolutely every "gay characteristic" we could. From the pretty blatant (high-pitched, "mincing", lisping voice) to the utterly subtle (drives a Subaru...really?). And then we start checking them off for everybody we know.

The thing is - there'd be something checked off for absolutely everybody. And so, for any given guy, we could have "proof" or "evidence" that he is in fact gay. "Of course he's gay - he drives a Subaru!" Like most researchers, we'd ignore any and all boxes not checked off, and zero in on the ones that WERE checked. Likes sports, doesn't watch Project Runway...a-ha! He wears colorful clothes! Proof positive!

The thing is - we're not all gay. Even if we take the largest estimate given, that leaves 90% of the guys on the planet as giving false positives on that test. But the gay wants what the gay wants, so if the guy we're interested so much as checks one box, he's gay - end of discussion. (And if he doesn't check off any boxes? He's so far in the closet that he's intentionally hiding his gayness - duh.)

Sorry, I'm not buying it.

Lex

 

[Willie Boy]

Let's pretend that we made a list of absolutely every "gay characteristic" we could. From the pretty blatant (high-pitched, "mincing", lisping voice) to the utterly subtle (drives a Subaru...really?). And then we start checking them off for everybody we know.

The thing is - there'd be something checked off for absolutely everybody. And so, for any given guy, we could have "proof" or "evidence" that he is in fact gay. "Of course he's gay - he drives a Subaru!" Like most researchers, we'd ignore any and all boxes not checked off, and zero in on the ones that WERE checked. Likes sports, doesn't watch Project Runway...a-ha! He wears colorful clothes! Proof positive!

The thing is - we're not all gay. Even if we take the largest estimate given, that leaves 90% of the guys on the planet as giving false positives on that test. But the gay wants what the gay wants, so if the guy we're interested so much as checks one box, he's gay - end of discussion. (And if he doesn't check off any boxes? He's so far in the closet that he's intentionally hiding his gayness - duh.)

Sorry, I'm not buying it.

Lex

In most cases he doesn't even have to have a box checked, as long as he's "good looking" he has to be gay because someone will be desiring him.

 

[Lube]

Let's pretend that we made a list of absolutely every "gay characteristic" we could. From the pretty blatant (high-pitched, "mincing", lisping voice) to the utterly subtle (drives a Subaru...really?). And then we start checking them off for everybody we know.

The thing is - there'd be something checked off for absolutely everybody. ... so if the guy we're interested so much as checks one box, he's gay

Exactly how many times do I have to repeat myself? :

I didn't say anybody. I said tends. But I think we're on the same page.

Any one of those things does not make me gay, but put them all together and that's pretty damn gay!

But the real thing, Lex, is why are you so heavily invested in proving that your friends are mostly straight?

 

[Lube]

Just a bit of devil's advocate:

1) What if he was just checking out the women that were with the other guys, or maybe they were, unbeknonst to him, walking on a nude beach and he was wondering why these guys were walking naked but just couldn't build up the courage to ask.

2) This one is hard to argue about, but here's a try: The guy was maybe molested by men as a child.

3) Maybe he is just extremely shy or overly picky. Or maybe he's just an asshole, expecting women to be nothing more than humble servants to fulfill his every desire, causing them to dump him.

As you can see, there can be other reasons for just about anything. You can't judge someone based on assumptions. Your assumptions may be right in some instances, but are more often incorrect. Just let people be who they are and stop trying to put them in a box so they can be easily labeled. Accept them for them, not what you want them to be.

Although this post was in response to the one quoted, it isn't meant for any specific individual. Just a bit of wisdom that hopefully we all remember when we deal with others. This world is full of many individuals and we should try to accept them as they are, just as we want them to accept us.

Reread my posts. I say "probably" and "tends" quite a bit. I'm not speaking for every single guy, on just a single attribute (type of car, for example). Of course there are exceptions, but their exceptionality defines their uncommonness.

 

[Lube]

What is sad is that you're probably serious about these sources of information.

As opposed to your sources of information?

Feel free to bury your head in the sand.

Marketers have this turned into a science. Google is a multibillion dollar corporation that makes money off of mining your interests shown by your e-mails and documents and selling that info to third parties. How could their business model work if making these generalizations didn't work? Why does Subaru advertise in issue after issue of The Advocate?

 

[Lube]

how does anyone live with anything they can't control. tolerance. I look for the good in people not the bad. guess there was no rebuttal on my actual point. don't bother me one bit, proves it actually.

To me, tolerance is accepting differing viewpoints (pro/anti-abortion for example). It is not accepting people who want you dead or forced to marry and bear children to satisfy their own religion.

Rebuttal? To what? You made 3 statements. What was I supposed to rebut? That you befriend people who hate you?

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>But the real thing, Lex, is why are you so heavily invested in proving that your friends are mostly straight?

Because occasionally, I run into people like you who are heavily invested into proving that they're mostly gay. Or, more to the point, proving that every last one of them is gay.

I honestly don't care what orientation my friends are. If I like them, I like them. I can accept them at face value. If they say they're straight, I accept that. I don't go looking for signs that they're probably gay, or fooled around with guys once, or are deeply in the closet.

I have a co-worker Mike, and this entire thread reminds me of him a lot. Because to him, everybody's gay. Whenever I'd have a get-together at my place, or a birthday party with a big group of friends, he'd spend the next week or two trying to find evidence (or "proof") that all the guys he met there were gay.

"That Chris guy is pretty hot."
"Chris? Yeah, he's OK, I guess."
"I should ask him out."
"Chris? Well, he's straight...and married..."
"Dude - totally gay."
"No, he's not. Why do you think he's gay?"
"Well, he's your friend."
"...straight guys can be friends with gay guys, Mike."
"And he said he's not a Bronco fan. Only fags don't like sports."
"Mike..."
"Plus he has that flaming dice tattoo."
"...um...so?"
"That means he's into rockabilly. And all rockabilly guys are secretly gay."

I don't invite him to my get-togethers much anymore.

I use myself as an example not because I'm proud of the fact that I have straight friends, but simply because I know more about me (and my friends) than about anybody else (and their friends). And no matter how much you lean on the word "tend", I see you starting to buy into the "everybody's gay" game.

Lex

 

[AngelFromAbove]

1) If a guy is walking with his girlfriend and he has turned around to check out several guys within the last ten minutes, I would question that.

However, one would have to constantly observe the guy in question in order to see this happening.

2) If a guy is overly homophobic, I would question that as well.

Many people are homophobic or overly homophobic, but that does not mean that they are harboring latent homosexual attractions.

3) If a guy is approaching 25 and never had a girlfriend more than a month...you get the picture

There are other reasons as to why someone may not have entered a relationship.

As opposed to your sources of information?

Feel free to bury your head in the sand.

Marketers have this turned into a science. Google is a multibillion dollar corporation that makes money off of mining your interests shown by your e-mails and documents and selling that info to third parties. How could their business model work if making these generalizations didn't work? Why does Subaru advertise in issue after issue of The Advocate?

Marketers may have made an attempt to turn it into a science, but they are not scientists. As a matter of fact, they are not anthropologists, sociologists, psychologists, physiologists, or possibly biologists. They are different fields; marketers main objective is producing money.

You've actually made an attempt to take sources of information from online sites, which admit that the polls are relevent only to the site, and tried to state that this proportionate to most, if not all, gay men. Honestly, the only thing you've done is reinforce stereotypes that you believe are true.